Chadderz
172864
4450
149
Aug 26, 2017 9:43 AM
Chadderz
172864
4450
149
IFTTTEXAS
Nah man! Taylor's been singing since 2006 man!
Howtogrowwood
If you can deal with working at Swift for 8 years. The trucks are slow as hell.
mydisciplesarelegion
Sounds like they need to hire for their HR department as well.
SomeDetroitGuy
Yeah, this is why we have specific tech recruiters.
osaruyo
If that person is american: They just want to outsource your job.
Mafooo
I had a candidate apply once who listed 2 years of swift experience - 1 month after it was announced.
ideologist
Did you hire him? He's a wizard
LawFiveGuy
if they know that little about what they're doing, just tell them that your name is S Wift, and you invented the language
ookkee
Reminds me of recruiters approaching the creator of Python: https://plus.google.com/115212051037621986145/posts/R8jEVrobbRj
somenerandom
Lol at the comments. "How many years of exp on Pytho do you have? - ALL OF THEM"
ShitIknow
Applying to jobs in a nutshell.
SimpsonYouDiabolical
I'm sure 3 years of experience with that would seem like 8
LordxGodxKing
can you guys chill from reposting this? I see this daily on imgur now
moscowemule
Just explain that you listened to Taylor Swift for the previous 5 years if they ask.
SomeDetroitGuy
Software Engineering Manager: "I need a senior level mobile developer." HR: "What language are you guys programming in?" SEM: "Swift".
SomeDetroitGuy
HR puts the ad out for senior level (8+ years) Swift developer because.
Ohhhlookaunicorneatingasamurai
Well, looks like you better get schwifty.
tygerpsimatrix
How is this on the front page (at least for me) now?
Chadderz
You scrolling through random maybe? (:
tygerpsimatrix
Nope, came up 'Most Viral, Newest First'.
Chadderz
Well shit, maybe I'm gonna get more upvotes :D
ApocaSnuffleupalypse
This shit has been happening for years. The same clueless HR cogs will also be in charge of who gets hired by the way.
MylastaccountgotbandbecauseIpostednakedwomen
Once was turned down because I didn't have 5 years of O365 experience. It was 6 months old then and I was one of the first support techs.
SteveNotSteve
Sort of a test. If you read postings looking for reasons you can't apply, then you're probably an employee looking for reasons not to work.
MiniMagpiexx
People just wanna pay the bare minimum and still expect top quality service. You pay MORE for the experience.
Bluesun1138
Point that out in a job interview they'll either be impressed and hire you, or embarrassed and not hire you...
Midgarmerc
Entry Level Position Min. 5 Years Experience Required
tzap
Legit as long as you count school and hobbyism as experience.
UnknownSquid
I once lost an "Apprenticeship" vacancy to a man at least in his late 40s, who apparently already had 10 years experience in that exact job.
magisch
Apprentice pay (below minimum wage) and expert experience. Perfect for the company, isn't it?
UnknownSquid
Yeah. Pretty damn scumbag though. I also can't help but think it's surely illegal in some manner.
barnwolf
Maybe they are just trying to weed out the liars?
StopLookingAtMyName
In the minds of these people, IT people aren't born. They pop into existence with 20 years of experience in every aspect of computers.
magisch
Nah, they just want CS people who've been gaining extra experience throughout highschool / college. Which is a large part of them.
METDeath
To be fair... I'm 36 and have 33 years experience operating computers. So that's a thing.
magisch
In essence, if you graduate with a CS degree and not at least 2-3 years of additional experience you're bottom of the pile for IT jobs.
kojenk
i keep seeing this so often as H.R. one amazing IT guy i interviewed told me how he didn't get the competing position
kojenk
because he obtained the tech certificate they were looking only last year. This is a cert that just became available a few months before
kojenk
he got it for tech that only came into existance at the end of the year before...
circuspandabear
It was the same thing with .NET and Java.
elromio
We are looking for a virgin with 5+ years of sexual expierence
Brucecori2
Every single job posting aimed towards students
SomeDetroitGuy
So, really good at blowjobs?
kojenk
No, Actual penetration. but still a virgin. Never come into proximity of the opposite sex by 10 miles atleast.
kojenk
including from conception.
Pumper24
Me thinks there is an internal individual already, but they are forced to post the position. Or someone has beenunder a desk for 8 years.
randymossisagreatplayer
Don't apply. Doesn't sound like leadership you want to follow
SomeDetroitGuy
HR isn't leadership
somenerandom
But it's often a representation of such. More specifically it shows the type of people you'll be working with.
SteveNotSteve
You really can't tell much from the HR people. Work your way politely through them and get to the hiring manager.
Safetysaurus
I have lost count of graduate positions advertised that need 5 years experience
TheBigKahuna
It's 5 nautical years dumbass.
NotAnIroningBoard
Well yeah, they want to pay you like a graduate, they just want you to be an expert in the field...
StopstalkingmePawan
My problem! 6 yrs of college. 3 yrs experience (temping) & still can't get a job. Only offers, are below average starting pay but want 5+yrs
rnantis
Well... many CS students code a lot for fun or in part time jobs/freelancing. Both can count as experience.
thefuckwouldiwantacaravanthatsgotnofuckinwheels
...
magisch
It's true though. If you graduate CS without a couple years of experience you're already bottom of the pile :D
thefuckwouldiwantacaravanthatsgotnofuckinwheels
Meh not in my experience but im prolly an edge case
Ansatsunin
My tip for anyone looking for work - IGNORE THE MIN. YEAR REQUIREMENT BULLSHIT. ESPECIALLY in IT. APPLY ANYWAY.
EpogeeDesign
I hire many people fresh out of college with years of experience. You can still work full time while in school in relevant fields.
NationalOrganizationOfMenAgainstAmazonianMasterhood
I'll probably get downvoted but the 5+ years' experience is there to filter out the lazy fuckboys who cant justify why they should be hired.
UnknownSquid
You mean filter out honest employees capable of doing the job, in favour of dishonest braggarts who will pretend they can do the job.
fyndir
You mean the people who follow the rules and procedures?
CliffordJohnsonMiller
Yeah, you will be, since that makes no goddamn sense. It just shows the employer has no clue what he's doing.
CliffordJohnsonMiller
And as a result you'll just get employees who are good at bullshit excuses. For why they have more experience than is possible
CliffordJohnsonMiller
And for why they're late again, or why their work wasn't finished on time.
PaintedSlate
The great thing about interviewing is that experience tends to make you more confident in your methods, even when they're worse than useless
rnantis
Also, "I don't care someone said I am unable to do it. I'll try" is nice trait.
SoCloseToCalamity
I like to apply for high paying jobs that I'm not qualified for. You know, just in case.
aeonicentity
Job descriptions are written to describe the ideal candidate, and are not prerequisites. I've had to write a few. If you match over 50%, try
UnknownSquid
That depends on the wording. Seen plenty saying "____ is essential". Risks deterring honest candidates and attracting egocentric liars.
override367
My job desc says "requires 5 years experience administrating Fortigate, Cisco, and Sonicwall firewalls". I'm l1 help desk
ballerinawannabe
I'm in my thirties, and nobody ever told me that. I always got discouraged that, in spite of education and experience, I never had enough.
yeetmypug
^^^this guy
IamMelonLordeYaYaYa
If the ideal candidate has 5 years of experience, then how does it make sense to list it as a graduate position
aeonicentity
Ideally your student has been working in the field while at college.
IamMelonLordeYaYaYa
And a year of high school? What field do you know where graduates would have access to 5 years within that field during school?
aeonicentity
Computer science. I had over 5 years of experience when I graduated. Some professional, some personal.
IAmTheBadW01f
Best I've seen required, and I quote, "three (5) to five (7) years of experience"
ImSorryThatIWasBornIdentifyingAsTheSexThatIActuallyAm
Could you explain that? Is it saying they want three to five years, but preferably five to eight? What is the inference here?
eclect0
The inference is they changed their minds and forgot to change either the numerals or the words. Hopefully the position was copywriter.
IAmTheBadW01f
You mean aside from incompetence?
ImSorryThatIWasBornIdentifyingAsTheSexThatIActuallyAm
So that's what it was. Got it. The actual number did not correspond with what was spelled. I thought there was some deeper meaning.
eclect0
I rate that listing 5/7, or possibly 3/5.
degenerator
Congratulations! You get the job!
madcuzigofast
But I don't wanna work at Amazon.
degenerator
When the Singularity arrives, Amazon will impress us all into service.
TooManyPixels
Should have sucked it up and done those internships....jk the job market is a fucking joke
Cyzyk
I did two. Didn't help. Went into a different field, turned out semi-OK.
TooManyPixels
Semi-ok is still ok :-D gratz
topdollar38
The couple paid internships I did while in school landed me a job straight out of school without much trouble.
TooManyPixels
Hey nice just hope it's a stable company. I did similar and had a GREAT job in my field after college. Lasted for 3 years before this 1/2
TooManyPixels
Company that had a 60 year history just up and closed down when the owner died cuz the kids didn't want to keep it going.
TooManyPixels
Oh ps; job market in my area for my trade is nonexistent.I'm no longer in that field. I do drafting and cad design instead of graphic design
OhioSucks
It's not really though.
TooManyPixels
Depends on where you live and if you're willing/have the means to move.
OhioSucks
Sure, but overall the job market is rather strong right now across the country.
TooManyPixels
Since when? Unemployment is fairly low, but that's about the only good aspect I'm aware of. Googled it, 4.3% unemployment is shockingly good
Deadmanwalkn
Yup, a lot depends on where you're located. I only got a reply from one company, happened to be where i wanted to go, but ya
FieldAgentDutchess
Likely a description written by someone in the HR department that has no idea what they're talking about.
MylastaccountgotbandbecauseIpostednakedwomen
This is why HR shouldn't be allowed to write job descriptions.
Segagenesischalmers
There was a job on my company's site that preferred you graduated from Top Gun. Yes, that Top Gun. It's like, damn, kinda specific, eh?
ApocaSnuffleupalypse
Were you working in The Danger Zone?
IATTM
Was it by chance fighter plane test pilot? Because that might make sense...
Segagenesischalmers
Yeah, it was either for TP or manager of TPs, can't remember which. I know it's relevant, but still.. Top Gun is Navy only to boot..
Segagenesischalmers
Whereas we support all branches.
IconicM
I once saw a job posting for a Sequel programmer...
JeffreyBarter
How should have they phrased it then?
Sharkalanche
The DB query standard is SQL, pronounced either as "Sequel" or as it's spelled: "Es Queue El". Spelling it as Sequel makes no sense.
ImHereToPissPeopleOff
Well depending on how long the last guy had been there, and if they did no research, it did used to be called sequel, but it was a trademark
UnknownSquid
Oh christ, they meant SQL? I had no idea what that was supposed to mean.
UnderwearThief
Actually, sequel is the precursor to SQL. https://books.google.ca/books?id=xxx0KAwY_ZMC&pg=PA22&lpg=PA22&dq=Precursor+language+to+sql&source
IconicM
So SQL is the sequel to SEQUEL? Lol. (Really did not know that, interesting...)
skooterLaughin
No it's a truck used when HR already has someone but is required to advertise the position publically.
IGotTheMusicInMe425
Why would they advertise a position that's already been filled? Do they live off the shattered hopes of people searching for a job or...?
ballpeenX
HR is often required to advertise every position.If they have already identified a candidate, they may open it for only 1 day.
IGotTheMusicInMe425
Why are they *required* to advertise a position if they already have someone though? It just still seems two-faced and cruel to me.
skooterLaughin
Government jobs are often legally required to advertise publically, and a lot of major corporations have internal requirements to do so.
ballpeenX
Its something to do with "fairness".Good companies will add to the posting "an internal candidate for this job may have been identified"
13599
In CA they have to do this legally for some reason. Just so they can say it was offered outside the co. It's dumb.
ballpeenX
HR works for the company not the employees.
Deadmanwalkn
That rule is often in place to try and prevent them from doing exactly what they're doing