its more useful to phrase it as a observation. "hey, looks like your having a rough day.". it's not an accusation or judgement, just a comment. but it opens the door into discussion sometimes.
sometimes a small nudge is all you need. hangry is a thing. it really does sneak up on you and cloud your vision from the edges. having someone point it out helps. sometimes... "hmmm. when was the last time I ate something...?"
In a work environment, someone pointing out your bad mood is most often a socially acceptable alternative to saying, "Hey, you're acting like a dick. No one else wants to be here either, maybe don't take it out on us." Alternatively, depending on the person and your relationship with them, it could be an invitation to discuss your feelings/commiserate.
if they're actively being hostile or being a dick, then "hey, I know you're not meaning to be a dick, but it looks like you're coming across as really aggressive right now." works better. it's calling it out without judgement.
if someone is always happy, they're either on some really good meds or they have life on easy mode. in either case, its not a thing you can be proud of.
Nothing as brutal as being involved with school system and some little kid, honest as can be, blatantly asks you "Why do you look sad?"... makes the whole day a lot harder because you still gotta do your job for the day, but now you know the kids see the cracks.
Aye, definitely no fault of the children, it's simply the sad truth that cuts to the heart. Certainly doesn't help when the kids start thinking those are the days they can get away with more, though, that's just them acting out because they picked up on the fact something is 'off'.
I've found when people comment, "You're in a bad mood today," they are feeling awkward and don't know what to say. Its never been an attempt to improve the mood.
I have encountered ones that in very “high-schoolish” way, make certain that others hear them, in an attempt to give their coworker a bad reputation. I once encountered a coworker treating one of my direct reports this way. We had a talk, she left the company a few months later. Maybe it was realizing that her attempt to climb over a better coworker wasn’t happening.
I think it depends. if the people commenting is the social bully, when you start pushing back and responding poorly, they turn it around and say "you're in a bad mood today" as a way to undermine any attempts at getting your footing. intent really is key here.
Mostlydeadpool
its more useful to phrase it as a observation. "hey, looks like your having a rough day.". it's not an accusation or judgement, just a comment. but it opens the door into discussion sometimes.
OutboardOverlord
If I notice, I try to distract and redirect energy towards something else, instead of drawing attention to it. Wish someone did that to me..
Mostlydeadpool
sometimes a small nudge is all you need. hangry is a thing. it really does sneak up on you and cloud your vision from the edges. having someone point it out helps. sometimes... "hmmm. when was the last time I ate something...?"
AspirantFool
In a work environment, someone pointing out your bad mood is most often a socially acceptable alternative to saying, "Hey, you're acting like a dick. No one else wants to be here either, maybe don't take it out on us." Alternatively, depending on the person and your relationship with them, it could be an invitation to discuss your feelings/commiserate.
Mostlydeadpool
if they're actively being hostile or being a dick, then "hey, I know you're not meaning to be a dick, but it looks like you're coming across as really aggressive right now." works better. it's calling it out without judgement.
Tarmaccian
Yep… Most people are empathetic, and use empathy to bond.
Commenting on someone’s mood is an invitation to have a friendly conversation.
Fanner50
From some “the always happys”, it comes across as a condescending “I’m never in a bad mood” way.
Mostlydeadpool
if someone is always happy, they're either on some really good meds or they have life on easy mode. in either case, its not a thing you can be proud of.
Sliprunner
Nothing as brutal as being involved with school system and some little kid, honest as can be, blatantly asks you "Why do you look sad?"... makes the whole day a lot harder because you still gotta do your job for the day, but now you know the kids see the cracks.
Mostlydeadpool
kids are wired to see body language. most of them haven't been taught to lie yet. So, they see sad body language and want to help.
Sliprunner
Aye, definitely no fault of the children, it's simply the sad truth that cuts to the heart. Certainly doesn't help when the kids start thinking those are the days they can get away with more, though, that's just them acting out because they picked up on the fact something is 'off'.
clutch26
I've found when people comment, "You're in a bad mood today," they are feeling awkward and don't know what to say. Its never been an attempt to improve the mood.
Fanner50
I have encountered ones that in very “high-schoolish” way, make certain that others hear them, in an attempt to give their coworker a bad reputation.
I once encountered a coworker treating one of my direct reports this way.
We had a talk, she left the company a few months later. Maybe it was realizing that her attempt to climb over a better coworker wasn’t happening.
Mostlydeadpool
I think it depends. if the people commenting is the social bully, when you start pushing back and responding poorly, they turn it around and say "you're in a bad mood today" as a way to undermine any attempts at getting your footing. intent really is key here.