It's my 10th cake day, let's see how far we can downvote Florida Man being, well, Florida Man.

Jan 27, 2025 2:43 AM

BluesFish

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38821

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649

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84

No way, ALWAYS upvote Florida Man!!!

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I would like a team of sociologists and anthropologists to come up with a unified theory as to why Florida is so fucking weird. It's like Southern culture (GA, AL) with even more drugs, plus a certain Je-ne-se-qwassont I can't name.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I thought I could smell his breath. Then I realized my dog had farted.

2 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Less braincells than tooth.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

He has a beautiful set of tooth LMAO

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Who would have guessed someone with tattoos all over their face would make bad decisions?

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Meth is a hell of a meth.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Nice tooth.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

He believes in the all-knowing old man in the sky but had to stick his tongue on the pole to be convinced that it would stick believing that it would not. He is representative of a large group of humans.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Happy cake day!

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Hey @charlottebelle, thanks. v

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I remember one time as a kid I tried to lick some frost in the freezer. It turns out that rack was metal, and I was stuck. I managed to unsnap the rack and carry it around with me till it warmed back up.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I desperately want that to be the kid who did this in A Christmas Story.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

He’s disgustingly nasty. That pole gonna need some shots.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

He’s opened a lot of Bush Light bottles with those chompers.

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

what do all his tattoos mean? (other than poor life choices).

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Those aren't even his best tattoos./

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Dumbass

2 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

How odd. He looks like a person who otherwise makes very well-thought-out, sensible decisions.

2 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Well, at least his tooth won't get in the way

2 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 0

That’s where the toothbrush was invented…anywhere else it would have been called the “teethbrush”

Ahem….I’ll see myself out now…

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

naw, that's GucciBerry. Proud Michigander.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Gucci Berry he "likes" to get hit in the nuts. Hangs out with bunch of freaks. Do people remember Long neck and No neck? Swing to the sack Sunday https://www.instagram.com/p/DFTkqOPydbQ/?hl=en

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

A sure-fire way to unstick your tongue from a frozen pole is to have someone pee on it.

2 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

it's not just for jellyfish anymore!
Mosquito bite? Here, lemme pee on it.
Headache?

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Preferrably yourself. Cup your hand. It's not pretty but if you're alone, that's what you do. I grew up in Sweden and learned the hard way. Don't touch metal with wet parts of your body when it's cold outside.

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Which other part of- ... Oh.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Just look at his face tatoos. This is not a man who makes good decisions.

2 years ago | Likes 423 Dislikes 6

That gravy boat teardrop tattoo is a world of art and this man is a wonderful canvas

2 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 1

He murdered an entire pot of mashed potatoes.

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm willing to bet money that the big, out of place tattoo he has at the corner of his eye, he calls it a gravy boat.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That's probably not even the worst decision he made that day!!!

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I see a man that makes decisions, and doesn't spend the rest of his life regretting them

2 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 4

. . . or remembering them

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

It's like Dolce & Gabbana bumper stickers that he put on his face.

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Or maybe made some bad ones in the past and learned, but either way he seems like a cool dude now

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 9

lol cool dude

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Did you watch with sound on? He's giggling half the vid lol

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

He may be learning from them, but he sure as hell hasn't stopped making bad decisions.

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

You goon! I was trying to get you upvotes! No reposting xD

2 years ago | Likes 64 Dislikes 7

Hey Elbow, thanks. I decided to go in a different direction therefore made the change. It kind of reflects how I've been feeling about Imgur the last several months. Feels like things have changed; not all for the better. The only reason I'm sticking around is my friends on here and to distract me from the news.

2 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 1

News is grim, they're prob doing ya a solid. Regardless Ty for the 'member berry. Oi, don't shoot your eye out!!

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I feel that. You're gettin upvote bombed anyway, cause your post was literally the only thing recent I could find that wasn't news or TikTok reposts. ;p

2 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 3

So it's not just me noticing?

The new mods deleted two of my posts in recent months, no explanation of tos violation, canned response to my appeals. Post visibility limited (?); damn near impossible to see a post get 2000+ upvotes compared to last spring.

2 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 1

Yarp, that's been happening for several months ever since they outsourced it to a third party company. Posts that are critical of Imgur get deleted without any kind of notification or account strike to link it to. Just poof, gone. Martyn says the product is evolving, though, so that makes it all better.

2 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

Wait! You can't jump from a double dog dare to a triple dog dare!!

This is a breach of protocol!

From a double dog dare, you have to challenge a triple dare, first! Only then can you challenge a triple dog dare!

2 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Its the original, the prototype, the REAL florida man :o

2 years ago | Likes 88 Dislikes 0

A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Did he think people were lying? Or that it wouldn't hurt?

2 years ago | Likes 46 Dislikes 0

Believing what intelligent people say or believing people who actually know what they are talking about runs contrary to this man's entire existence.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Oh lord does this hurt. You are literally pulling off the skin of your tongue.

2 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Imagine you've never experienced snow or cold temps in your life. Then imagine that you've seen stuff like this in movies and it was funny. Then imagine you had a subpar education growing up.

2 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

A perfect storm.

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

He didn’t think, about anything.

2 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

ever

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

he can say he did it now. Sometimes its worth a little pain to try something new. Now, as someone who did this at age 7 or 8, I would have reccomended he bring some warm (not hot) water to help get himself free

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ill be honest Im kind of curious to know how bad does it hurt but I don't want to get germs on my tong soooooo

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I've gotten my tongue stuck to popsicles like this before; it hurts a lot!

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

As an ex child who was at one point curious about the taste freezer-fresh ice, the kind that builds up on the walls inside, actually getting the tongue stuck didn't hurt initially beyond my panicked attempt to pull back. By the time my mother's careful hand some hot water set me free my tongue had that dull, achey, persistent pain for a few hours. Aftermath of tongue piercing was way worse and lasted days

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Put a spoon in a freezer for a day and try with that.

2 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

When I ripped the skin of my tongue off, it had been stuck for so long it was numb. When mom had me gargle with peroxide- THAT hurt like a bitch.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Does it really work?

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I was told that it does work, but on a smaller scale and for a few moments

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

ill try it out. A whole day?

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The thing about a flagpole is that it's really big, and metal conducts heat fast. So it sucks the heat away from the water making contact. Your flesh doesn't have that same conductivity, and can't warm it faster than it takes heat away. And there's a lot of it, and cold air around it, to absorb heat.

A spoon out of the freezer will warm up faster, being smaller, and is surrounded by warm on all sides. Get it cold enough and it'll do the same thing, but the frozen spot will melt pretty fast.

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Remember kids, if you plan to stick your tongue to a metal object in sub-zero temperatures, you'll want a warm beverage on hand to pour on the contact point to unstick yourself without ripping or tearing anything.

2 years ago | Likes 192 Dislikes 2

Or you can just rip the skin of your tongue off like I did when I was eight. BEFORE I saw A Christmas Story.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Or alcohol, which has a lower freezing point... Tho once you get to -40° C & F meet and your fucked

2 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

And fucken cold WHILE getting fucked

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Did someone say ripping and tearing?

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

You are really, _really_ an old-timer. If you plan to stick your tongue to a pole, be sure to record it!

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Also remember, pee is body temperature!

2 years ago | Likes 51 Dislikes 0

Valid point

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

Just make sure if you’re going to do this, you do it like 2’ off the ground. Otherwise it gets awkward.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

The most unlikely superhero.

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Without ripping or tearing??? Already had the shotgun loaded with malicious intent...

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Close your hands over the spot, lean close - don't let your lips touch the pole (bonk) - and exhale a few times.

2 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Great, now my hands are stuck, too.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yep, I was in the process of proving this as a 5 year old, but the other kids and the teacher panicked and actually pushed my face up against the pole, then finally got a cup of warm water. They wouldn't listen to my description of what I was doing.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Sadly, can confirm because at one point I was a teenager susceptible to double dog dares. On the other hand don't panic, do not pull, just warm up the metal you're attached to.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

https://media.giphy.com/media/fTPXST8ojdC8M/giphy.mp4

2 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

There it is

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0