Jonjonnotaleprechaun
149662
5824
212
Cat Chair Tax
HolliBerri
He didn't believe that dinosaurs or outer space were real things.
JortDaddy
SomePeopleSayThatCucumbersTasteBetterPickled
She told me she thought the devil was trying to get to her through me. I mean...she was right, but still, how crazy is that?
FlightRisk3154
The bartender one would drive me fucking insane
SgtDuffman
Went on a date with a girl who didn't take birth control because she believed the government used it for mind control...We had just ordered
Monkeybone5581
smile and nod
SgtDuffman
It was the worst, food took another 20 minutes then we had to eat. I couldn't get away fast enough. Fish was good though.
ShaneKeeling
I was trying to figure out where the hell there was an 'i' in salmon. I am not a smart man.
TamiB95
I'm not alone. Thank God. Clearly I'm not a smart woman
CharlesOffdensen
Now kith
Kylekps
3 days after my dad died she told me to "get over it".
SweetBabyJesus
He brought a George Foreman grill to sleep over at my house & made me wake up at 5:30 because he couldn't miss his scheduled breakfast.
dontcallmeplath
Did he tell you to make his scheduled breakfast? Or just want you to be up to have breakfast with him?
SweetBabyJesus
I fully support a healthy lifestyle, I just couldn't be with someone who was obsessed to the point they'd wake up to eat & go back to sleep.
dontcallmeplath
Oh, word. I see what you mean.
SweetBabyJesus
Just be awake. He was obsessed with his diet in an unhealthy way & was always hungry but wouldn't eat unless it was scheduled & weighed out.
M00N3EAM
He was disappointed when Under Pressure started playing, instead of Ice Ice Baby.
Ilikeyogurt
Is... Something wrong with under pressure? Am I not dateable? I'm sure I'm missing something because Queen is forever great.
M00N3EAM
Lol totally missing the joke. Queen is a classic
GoochoLibre
Totally justified. You chose well.
ApocalypseInsideAnOrange
Oh god, no.
CthulhusGreasyBallsack
you made the right choice
USPS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-1_9-z9rbY
bigfun76
When perplexed he says, "I just can't wrap my hands around that."
whatareyoulurkingat
Sounds like a mechanical engineer to me
SpaceCthulhu
People say they can't grasp concepts, so maybe therein lies his confusion?
ButYouAintGotNoLegs
I think that's cute in a quirky sort of way. I imagine it could lose its appeal though.
lincolnfalcon
HA
WildSnarker
Man, 90% of these are endearing foibles. Some people are just Seinfeld levels of picky.
kingsleep
Age 18-22 of my life was soent drunkenly yelling IM RICK JAMES, DARKNESS
WildSnarker
Come to think of it, isn't eating peas one at a time taken directly from a Seinfeld episode?
LLCoolBeans
Yes
ThisFrickenGuy
She pronounces theater "Thee-dee-er". However, I'm not a picky douche and know I also have quirks so I married her.
icantgetthegreeceoffmyeuros
I bet most of these were either minor irritations which after everything else going wrong seemed a lot more significant
icantgetthegreeceoffmyeuros
That, or these were incidents which were 'the straw which broke the camel's back' scenarios
icantgetthegreeceoffmyeuros
What happened to me was the latter: my then gf didn't know that Elton John sang Tiny Dancer. Ridiculous I know, but we were done!
CoolHandRK
Well, according to Seinfeld, only 5% of the population is actually even dateable. So, 90% foibles leaves 5% with other reasons to not be.
itsybitsyspider
Or there were other underlying issues but this one was the final straw
clankthegray
The mustard and hand one, you may as well be dating a savage at that point....seriously, how does someone get raised thinking that's ok?
stressfracturesintitanium
I know right? Who the hell puts mustard on fries?
natabus
*Raises [yellow stained] hand*
HAupvote
I feel like most of these people have very high standards
AFineDayForScience
I think they're mostly tipping point, last straw kind of things. Except for the mouth smacking. That's a relationship ender
HAupvote
Oh i can totally see that then
DopeyFuckedaPenguin
MrMcPewp
congrats on the top 2 comments here!
tomyironmane
Moooooooooooooooooollllllllle
fe1od1or
Molé molé molé molé molé molé
AegonVITargaryen
"I want to chop it up and make some quaca-MOLE-le!"
GoCanadaGo
Savage...?
XxJackOfTradesxX
MMMMMMMMMMOLEY MOLEY MOLEY MOLEY MOLEY.
iHaveATheoreticalDegreeinPhysics
Nice to mole you
PinkyToeSlayerOfTableLegs
MEETYOU...mole...
ZnozWoodlands
Nice to meet your mole
iHaveATheoreticalDegreeinPhysics
Moley Moley Moley Moley
nigellemieux
I want to cut out off, and chop it up and make guaca-MOLE-e.
TinyOctopus
Tiny Octopus finds some of these cute. Of course, he broke up with a girl because she always said, "that's soo funny." No wait, that was JD.
FireSlayer1672
http://imgur.com/A5ED1Oc
Dociousaliexpilisticfragicalirepus
Oh my God. Oh my GOD. I worked with a girl who said that ALL the time for no reason and she looked JUST like that. But chunkier...
DONTGETMONEY
My ex used to do the yawning one and I found it funny... Oh God right in my feels
LimeMime565
He got past that then broke up with her because she didn't want kida
LimeMime565
*kids
dougpeck
There was also the fact that they wanted two completely different things in life.
garlicbreads
Oi squidfuck, no one cares about the opinion of a cephalopod mollusc of the order Octopoda, even if you are referencing Scrubs. gr8 show gr8
BeesechurgerProductions
And you're a delicious side-food often served with pasta!
garlicbreads
Damnn straightt
SomeJustice
I don't think you deserved these downvotes, I thought your comment was funny and kinda creative.
TinyOctopus
Tiny Octopus upvoted him
SomeJustice
No you're squidfuck now.
TinyOctopus
Tiny Octopus thinks you need to learn some basic marine biology, neighbor.
Stumpyz
You must be new here.
kryptoniteblunts
"Oi squidfuck" https://imgur.com/sAdNPNu
garlicbreads
People got mad salty
TinyOctopus
Well, to be fair, octopodes do live in the ocean, so there is sort of a plethora of salt to be had. XD
INTOTHEMOTHERLANDTHEGERMANARMYMARCH
Octopi*
Azrael715
You spelt 'Tiny Octopus' wrong, no harm done though.
JimNeverHasASecondCupOfCoffeeAtHome
Definitely stopped seeing a girl because of her laugh. It was brutal.
JonSnowNotedWindmillExpert
Was her name Janice?
CthulhusGreasyBallsack
or kelsey?
InsufferableNinja
That's one of the reasons you should always cover your mouth when you yawn. Also, because it's impolite not to.
Leiols
My girlfriend and I do this all the time to each other it's funny
rightarrowrightarrowrightarrowrightarrowrightarrow
Not covering your mouth while yawning? That' s an air dicking.
Glumerlink
She said she didn't like books
srslydude
You made the right choice. On another note, did you know there is a limit on your library card?
Glumerlink
is there? I guess it's lucky i end up just reading at the library half the time
srslydude
But why, when you can spend that time getting MORE books that you can read at home?
Glumerlink
because it's so quiet and being surrounded by the smell of books is great
srslydude
I can't argue with that.
iwanttobebobdylan
He was a drummer that always wore black. He would get pissed off about dog hair but my golden retriever was my life. Dude had to go.
TheCaffeinatedPanda
You made the right call.
tomyironmane
amen.
SomeGuyOnTheInterwebs
I'm the kind of person who checks the Goodreads reviews before reading a book so this is a big deal for me. Everyone must like *some* books?
SomeGuyOnTheInterwebs
It's like saying that you don't like movies... you might not be a film buff, but you must have liked a few, right?
Glumerlink
no, no she hated to read, she thought it was a waste of time
BluLuna
He said he liked books, meaning the 3 he had to read in high school. Only found out because I wanted to go on a library date and he refused.
SomeGuyOnTheInterwebs
Library dates are a thing? If a girl asked me out to the library, I would never be able to refuse. I think that's such a cool idea.
PamelaSplooshPoovey
+1 for wanting to do library dates. That sounds like an awesome idea.
Glumerlink
oh man library dates <3 i've had some great ones, one time me and a girl just kind of took turns reading a random book we grabbed
KelThuzadDidNothingWrong
I like reading, but what the hell are we gonna do at a library? Sit there and be quiet?
BluLuna
Maybe it's because I live in a largely populated area but our libraries have cafes, board games, computer labs and sometimes gardens.
BluLuna
Quite a few of them are a block away from shops or outlet malls. Just in case the library gets boring.
KelThuzadDidNothingWrong
WHAT. I want one of those libraries! All the ones around here are incredibly spartan and exclusively for books.
labratlet
She didn't like reading or preferred electronic readers to paper books?
Glumerlink
she was okay with reading but in her words "books are too long" she thought twitter was the best reading format ever
labratlet
I guess that's better than nothing? Its a shame though, reading is very enjoyable.
PamelaSplooshPoovey
*starts vomiting*
Sharkostomy
I can understand why behaviors can be annoying, but really? No one can help their toe size!
chukichi
Dated a guy once who would blow his nose in his socks rather than go get a tissue. He was 26 years old. -___-
artintel
That's a deal breaker.
Chloexoxo95
That is my boyfriend too
diamondog85
When you yawn it's good manners to cover your mouth... if he had better manners finger in the mouth wouldn't have been an issue
jazziecazzie
I mean, somehow I just resist the urge to stick my body parts in other people's holes. Even when I'm at the strip club!
holycrapyourusernamecanbelong
What I was thinking, actually sounds like the gf was trying to stop a bad habit.
CountBackwardsFrom10
I don't know all the Ghostbusters.. should I be divorcing someone?
KelThuzadDidNothingWrong
I know them all but I'm going to forget one just to spite that person.
asmallcat
That one was dumb.
icyanddicey
Just that one?
asmallcat
Honestly I stopped reading at like 8.
gakio12
It's a good idea to read at any age. Reading isn't just for children.
PolarBears91
You, I like you.
canibFrank
Just helped my 10 year old process why there was a Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man costume in the store. But I couldn't name all 4 Ghostbusters.
SweetBabyJesus
No, I think someone is suppose to be divorcing you. Look out for the person who serves up them papers...
CountBackwardsFrom10
Shit.
catamenia
Black guy, nerdy guy, Bill Murray, and other guy. There.
tomyironmane
Peter Venkman, Ray Stanz, Winston Zeddemore, Egon Spengler. You're welcome.
CountBackwardsFrom10
See gun to my head I'd say: Bill Murray, Dan Something, Moustache guy, and Egon.
tomyironmane
Dan Ackroyd, Bill Murray, Harold Ramis (do yourself a favor and look up what a goddamn national treasure HE was) and Ernie Hudson.
tomyironmane
I feel embarrassed to have had to look up Hudson's name, because really, the franchise wouldn't have worked right without him.
mthrndr01
I obviously know them all, but had trouble producing them all at once. Luckily I'm completely alone in life so no one has to leave me!
tomyironmane
yeah, same... except I'm old enough to remember them all so there's not much hope left for me.
Jerlymanzin86
Well I'm impressed. Can we start a relationship?
tomyironmane
... and the ones who didn't treat men like ATMs or fashion accessories were all taken.
tomyironmane
I have trouble with relationships. Mainly trust, or lack thereof. Haven't met many women who wasn't just looking for freebies of some sort.
hovelhopper
Quick, name the chick versions!
CountBackwardsFrom10
Melissa McCarthy, Leslie Jones(?), Lady who plays Hilary Clinton on SNL, and Christin Wigg
VesperalLight
fat chick, ugly chick, blonde random chick, fat chick no. 2
tomyironmane
Beats me, I gave up hope for the intellectual property when Harold Ramis passed.
Preacher23
She told me she was afraid I would go to hell for playing D&D. In 2002, nonetheless.
TorontoJones
He used 'nonetheless' when he meant 'no less', like, constantly.
Preacher23
I have my quirks.
Shargan8
Which leaves you wondering how much one would want to worship a god who sends followers to hell for D&D
Preacher23
This is why I worship Cthulhu. He doesn't give a shit about me.
Shargan8
Fake religion is blasphemy, maan, not cool. Join the only true religion, Dudeism, and The Church of Latter Day Dude
BobLimbick
It think the only people who go to hell for playing D&D are those who play gnome bards.
LLCoolBeans
Damn it. Or damn me, as the case may be
ITalkAboutGoats
Fuck you, my single Gnomish Paradise hit the top of the charts!
tomyironmane
Only if they fail their thrash polka check, and the gnomish god of heavy metal turns them to smoking piles of lederhosen...
CapableTrash
I'm ready for its fiery embrace
targren
Or Kender. I've never had a player roll a Kender that didn't try to turn it into a medieval fucking Deadpool.
YourWaifuIsTrash
Don't play 5e then bruh, Bards are the shit– healing, buffs, damage, control spells, second-best in skills (after Rogue)...
mthrndr01
I'd expand that to 'gnomes or bards'
wackywoohoopizzaman
Well, shit
MadamChaos
If so...See ya there!
tomyironmane
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKggnBh2Mdw
TysoniusMaximusThePatronSaintofOffBrandBreakfastCereals
hey if it's true do you wanna start a gaming group when we get to hell?
LLCoolBeans
I'm in!
TysoniusMaximusThePatronSaintofOffBrandBreakfastCereals
maybe we can get satan in on this
Preacher23
But then we can only summon Devils. Demons will be off limits. Fucking infernal war.
targren
Since it's hell, doesn't that mean we can only play White Wolf?
TysoniusMaximusThePatronSaintofOffBrandBreakfastCereals
I would be completely fine with that
BirdLeaff
I broke up with a girl (for a multitude of reasons) but the tipping point was when she used her bare hands to scope ranch off the ground.
virginiaadams
Scope? Lol
BirdLeaff
Wat
Somanyquestions
To use it, or just to clean it off after?
BirdLeaff
To clean it, it wasn't hers tho it was just random ranch.
Somanyquestions
So on a restaurant floor?
BirdLeaff
It was in the hallway of a dorm building back in college
CharlesOffdensen
HOW CAN YOU BE SURE IT WAS RANCH
SederHishtalshelus
She was smelly down there.
CapableTrash
Bad hygiene can be a deal breaker
addictedtorain
Did you let her know? They aren't supposed to smell awful. It's generally something that can be fixed.
SederHishtalshelus
I let her know.
Somanyquestions
Not sure why you got downvoted, that's a better reason that most up there. Maybe it's too rational?
SederHishtalshelus
Suppose
wakeupbitchyouremynewbestfriend
My ex didn't like cool runnings
PapiBlanco
Did you sit her down and force her to watch it? I had a friend who never watched Star Wars and I forced him to watch it.
PapiBlanco
I lost a friend that day
JumpTheCheeseburger
That's blasphemy, I would've kicked them the fuck out too.
HateThePlayerAndTheGame
#2 suggests Greek ancestry (I know - my middle toe is much bigger than my middle toe as well)
ButYouAintGotNoLegs
Mine is too. Two of my three kids, as well, though my daughter's is more obvious than her brother's.
TugAndChug
I am under the impression it also has to do with how you distribute your weight when you walk.
ButYouAintGotNoLegs
I can't say if that can contribute to it being more noticeable, or perhaps cause it to happen to someone later on, but you can often tell
ButYouAintGotNoLegs
on newborns.
ArchiteuthisReDux
h20fuego
Reaaaally. My second toe is bigger than my big toe. Is that similar?
AnitaNewusername
Interesting! My newborn has this and genealogy research shows we might be have some Greek blood. This is way back though, does that matter?
AnitaNewusername
*might have
HateThePlayerAndTheGame
Nope - I am like 90% Polish, but the 0.5% Greek in me somehow made my middle toe bigger.
AnitaNewusername
Huh! The more you know!
connorpot
My middle toe is longer than my big toe. Is this why I'm single?
forestfinagle
Morton
RobertPackerbacker
Yes, and it's also the reason why your 5 fingers hurt when you wore them.
DopeyFuckedaPenguin
A couple of these are no issue or cute, the rest make me want to rip off my own arm & beat myself to death with it
ElCabaro
TomBrokaw
I fully approve of how many of these breakups are the direct result of poor educational performance.
HoodsBallsOnASkillet
Right? Dragon pants?! You don't dump them, you marry them immediately
SomeGuyOnTheInterwebs
Agreed. Everyone has their quirks, and most of these aren't so bad.
MrPresidentCthulhu
Each of my three cats has a chair.......
TheNoblePizzaDragonWhoLivesInYourFridge
WHAT'S WRONG WITH DRAGON PANTS HUH!?
Scarecrow0191
There is no middle ground
SpaceCthulhu
Dragon pants sound rad. And the chicken/steak one is odd, but I may get it. I don't like biting into chicken bones. Steak bones, yes.
TomBrokaw
Was with you until that last sentence. Are you a dog?
SpaceCthulhu
Bone marrow is so good. Are you Tom Brokaw?
Lacrymology
Iirc, these are from a thread about the pettiest reasons you broke up with someone. Kinda changes the cute and no issue
PamelaSplooshPoovey
I knew a girl - didn't even date her, just knew her - who had a trapezoid mouth. I hated her fucking mouth. Therefore, I couldn't stand her.
GeneralBullshit
#1 can be avoided by tossing the spoon the fuck out and just tilt the box instead. Go wild, get uncertain amount of suger, live on the edge
KarakLohr
Unfortunately for human mating attempts the lists of which are which vary from person to person.
idontwanttobeoriginal
Isn't that one of those mean tweets on jimmy kimmel?
idontwanttobeoriginal
My bad. Slightly different:
Cereaza
Aww, My Bag.
dungeonsandsnuggles
Yeah, honestly, if you get drunk and yell, "I'm Rick James, bitch!", I'm just gonna date you that much harder.
EdgyLitirmor
THe mustard one! WHO APPLIES MUSTARD WITH THEIR FUCKING PALMS!!! ????
Lolafahlahna
That one really got me worked up too.
EdgyLitirmor
5 hours later, I'd coat my palms with mustard before repeatedly:
wattietoohottie
I would watch a video of that with the same horrid fascination as I did with Old Boy
17AndDeadInside
I also wonder who would eat ONLY chicken nuggets and fries...like even I wasn't that picky!
Aksuuuh
Many of them indicate that the author is the insignificant one
DigitalBlank
If I got dumped because I can't name the ghostbusters (I can't, never was interest in it) I would be pissed, but relieved.
Aksuuuh
Or you know, having a middle toe longer than the big toe, which btw is not that uncommon. A Greek feet type.
Drakniv
Found the person with the big middle toe.
DigitalBlank
yeah that too, I think it looks a bit weird and i'm not a big fan of it, but far from being something I'd dump a girl over.
Aksuuuh
I myself am a carrier of this majestical feature.
UncleCeiling
That only bothers me when I see it with socks on and the socks come to creepy points.
Nuttburger
"I'm sorry for your lost"? Am I missing somewhere here? I don't see what's wrong with that
Hoe4GarlicBread
It's spelled "I'm sorry for your loss", as in the noun related to "to lose". "Your lost" is just the past tense of the verb, which makes no>
Hoe4GarlicBread
>Sense, like saying "I went for a ran today" (rather than a run).
UraniusCrack
it could also mean: the people you lost
ShirleyTempleGrandin
The phrase is "I am sorry for your loss." I'm assuming there were other, more serious problems. Or they were a petty bitch.
Nuttburger
I know, but like "lost" and "loss" mean the same thing in that context basically so there probably was more
Nuttburger
Sure but like when you're in a serious situation and nervous cause you don't know how to support them, slipping one letter? That's nothing
ShirleyTempleGrandin
It's a grammatical problem, as "loss" can be a noun-ish thing, while lost is a verb/adverb/just not grammatically correct.
zanderclause
The mouth smacking thing would make me want to smack the taste out of their mouth.
NamesAreStupid
With your dick
HeatherWhatever
My ex did this, found out his whole family did it. I wanted to die.
trenthian
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cph74oxxYCQ#t=2m08s
trenthian
Cut to 2:08.
trenthian
Probably the most offensive thing I have ever seen on the internet. And I survived 4-chan
DesignatedSleeper
There would be no second date for me. That shit is disgusting.
MyCatLikesToFruitcake
I have a big problem with this, thankfully my husband doesn't do it. But his ENTIRE FAMILY DOES. And his best friend is worse. Its like -
MyCatLikesToFruitcake
he's wet clapping/smacking with his mouth with every slurp/glurp/smack you can imagine. I have to leave the room.
AFineDayForScience
I can't control myself around smacking. I once yelled at a small child. Mouth smacking is what the word "triggered" should be used for.
terrafiore
I agree. Mouth noises are a no go
pizzaparty
My SO is a loud open-mouth eater. He insists there's nothing wrong with it, and declares that he will NOT be shamed for it. Frustrating af.
pizzaparty
I maintain my sanity by throwing on headphones when we eat at home.
TheGingerBatman
Current SO does this. I give her shit for it all the time. Her father is worse. The two of them together? Fucking torture.
notsomystical
Can confirm. Current SO does this as well but she gives me shit for giving her shit for it. Like, what?
AFineDayForScience
I like how you say "current" like she may not be a problem in the future
TheGingerBatman
I'm hoping that by pointing it out the behavior will go away. Pretty sure it's too ingrained but you never know?
AFineDayForScience
mine was loud at the start, but after pointing it out she almost hates the noise as much as I do. I incepted her
ThePastmaster
My GF says I chew too loudly. (I bite down hard, not open mouth chewing) I've started chewing more softly.
garlicbreads
#20 is a clear sign that you are dating a serial killer
spootpie
Iunderstoodthatreference.gif
Fernwooding
Seriously! Read the mustard one..definitely odd, but then read that and was like
myr14d
*cereal killer.
itsybitsyspider
I did that a few times but that was when I was in "I can barely stay awake let alone pour cereal properly" mode
StayingDistracted
Dude what? Pouring milk first keeps the cereal from getting soggy
[deleted]
[deleted]
turdknives
I relate to this so hard
garlicbreads
Just turn yourself in you sick fuck
Sashady
Omg yesss and it's easier to get the perfect cereal to milk ratio
WillDaBeast2460
Yes, thank you.
Suiagg
But you want it a little soggy, that's the point of the milk
MrMince
What? Dont they get wet anyway
Neorago
You put it a little bit at a time so you're never eating soggy cereal and have the very superior crunchyness.
dannishadow
Or do what I do. Spoon of dry cereal + sip of milk. One at a time into the mouth.
StayingDistracted
Exactly
QysteinWibe
Norwegian here... So the "l" in "salmon" is not supposed to be pronounced? :S
[deleted]
[deleted]
creepwood
wait, what? you didn't know that? Have you never heard the word pronounced?
pandabuhrx3
Try just thinking of it being spelled as "Sammon"
badlyphotoshopedpineapple
I say sawmon or salmon people have pointed it out but i do have the gif not jif thing going for me so i do do that right
Jorico
As a portuguese we say the L in Salmon (Salmão), we have to, otherwise we would say Samon (Samão)... English, you're weird af.
aikidude
As a fellow portuguese speaker, Yup! In spanish they speak all the letters in the word too (more than portuguese, actually)
Banditsalmon
My family name is Salmon and we pronounce the "l" because we're superior to the French and their silly language
dayglo98
what? we pronounce the l
Banditsalmon
Are you sure? The French named more of the north east area and they have the salmon river, town, county area. without the L
peterhjp
Fight, fight, fight
[deleted]
[deleted]
JohnnyWalkerTexas
Lax för i helvete.
Pneumoniaman
Nei, laks!
JohnnyWalkerTexas
Det var då själva fan!
horsebackrogue
You and I are over!
heffalumpisbetterthannone
No, it's silent like the P in swimming
IshitOnWindshields
American. I say sal mon
JaredKidd
Welcome to English where we have silent letters for some reason
MerToo
Only if your surname is "Rushdie" and you have at least one unpleasant fatwa against you.
h20fuego
Tbh if you said "sal-mon" instead of "sammon", we would all still understand you and I doubt anyone would comment on it. Esp in a restaurant
kythwilde
Nope. Pronounced sah-mon. (short a like the word sad)
seleri
The o is almost silent to, Im a swede, and the first time I heard an american say samn' I didnt believe it.
mytigio
Sounds like you heard a guy from Alabama say it :P
BridgetBird
Herb /erb...fucking stupid
SmoopyOfTheVoid
Depends on the dialect. I personally don't see an issue with it, however, it has become apparent to me that everybody else does.
thiswillbeusefuloneday
I'm not a native English speaker either and never knew the "w" in sword was silent as well... felt awkward saying sord afterward haha
Judging
The w alters the pronunciation ever so slightly. No one will care if you pronounce it sord but the w is actually pronounced a little.
GeneralBullshit
Wait what
MerToo
heh a "sward" as you used to say it is something to do with patches of grass, like "turf"
MerToo
http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=sward
bigblindguy
its not. The word is sword. Sord and sword are not pronounced the same.
DarkAbria
I don't think I've ever heard someone pronounce the w in sword. Saying it like that makes me feel weird.
LupusBorealis
I assure you the w in sword is very much silent.
GhostofCain
* afterard.
GhostofCain
*akard.
GhostofCain
*ell
GhostofCain
*kne
chrisis
http://media.llb.re.s3.amazonaws.com/pub/notes/silent-letters.jpg
GeneralBullshit
Where's the gif about the kids being wrong and me not being out of touch? Cause this was great fake news for me as well.
KuuroiYuki
Follow up: I know how to correctly pronounce it, but is it okay if I keep pronouncing the l? I don't like the correct pronunciation.
peterhjp
Better bring it up during the next salmon high council meeting. Bring the thing.
TheNextPresident
Welcome to English, where the words are made up and the consonants don't matter.
IWasHereFirst
Still better than French!
Vloddamick
Eckxquse moi?
VanyaliMalthinae
I always upvote Who's Line references! You are doing God's work. +1
BednaR
Leicester-> 'Lester'
creepwood
colonel makes no sense
TwistedTails
I pronounce it how it's spelled. I know it's wrong but to me it sounds better.
nabijaczleweli
Wait, is it actually "kernel", though?
creepwood
Jeep, colonel maize
SamuraiFoxes
Blame the French!
TanithRosenbaum
gauge
Fallatus
WHERE THE HELL DOES THE 'R' COME FROM?!!??!
WodenEmrys
From the Middle French word 'coronel' http://teachinghistory.org/history-content/ask-a-historian/22270
Mavgurian
It does - in French.
LupusBorealis
Lasagna, bologna
lincolnfalcon
"sammon"
IAintCheatin
Sammin in Idaho
MerToo
in usage as I have encountered it, varying from sammon to sammin. The L is completely silent and the O barely audible.
iwouldprefernot
The O is a schwa.
MerToo
shwell! I'ma shay schwa nexsht time.
Neorago
Can I have the pronunciation for Almond? I've heard it with the L and with a silent L and now I'm just confused.
SamuraiFoxes
Midwest is all-mund (soft/no L). I met two people in south texas that sald aL-mund (hard L). I made fun of them relentlessly.
Petedogs
On the west coast we use the "l" sound.
idothingshere
ALL-mund
hideme555
thats retarded
mytigio
Welcome to English
MedicalDoc
So is most of the English language. You get used to it.
circlebreaker
Now, now the Canadian government has apologized for Salmon on several occasions.
Leolol1
I love this reaction, hahahaha! But yeah as others have said, English, it's weird.
peterhjp
Massa svenskar i tråden. Visste ni att jänkarna även säger "lox"? Som ett anammat lax, but kind of retarded.
GeneralBullshit
Laks
peterhjp
Loks
Gatejejf
So much time with your people made me do this, & now I am chastised by those who used to ask me how to pronounce things . . . #NoRagrets
TheTagg
As a Swede. When i talk Swedish i pronounce the L. Does that count?
CouldHaveBeenHitler
"Lax"? Kinda hard not to
asteconn
Depends entirely on the dialect. Usually it's sycopated into the M sound.
asteconn
Similarly to 'walk' actually. Usually sounds more like wawk.
Haventgotaclue
It's super weird seeing the accent written like that, as where I'm from "walk" is pronounced more like "wouk" (if that makes any sense)
asteconn
I'm British - that should give you a fairly reasonable idea of how I speak
kanihaznaiph
Yay there's a word for it! TMYK
BruunHero
In English, not American, it depends a lot on dialect. I don't know about USA, but yes "sammon" is close to the common pronunciation.
hippityhoppitywomenareproperty
No its pronunced "samon"
xerotciv
Say-mon. Got it, thanks.
LANIMUS04
No wait, we aren't bohemian
DammitMeredithWhereAreYourPanties
No, sam-on
LANIMUS04
No wait, we aren't bohemian
Rantaf
No. Also not the W in sword.
MadGodSheogorath
Hispanics do it too. So strange.
ParaBailarLaBamba
Except for some h´s.
bigblindguy
Why would it be weird for people who speak a Latin language to pronounce it Sal-Mon, since thats how all latin languages say it.
circlebreaker
Nuuuupe. It's "sammon". *drinks warm fish juice*
crorse
wanna go out?
superfeathers
I don't think I heard this word said aloud until my teens, so I'm gonna goddamn keep pronouncing that L
GeneralBullshit
Same here, among other mistakes I guess
geonerd
No. And another common mistake that Norwegians make is with shrimp. One shrimp, many shrimp. Never shrimps.
Counterfit
Same with deer.
GeneralBullshit
Why is shrimp imune to the "s" when we're talking about multiple shrimp? Wow I'm learning a lot tonight, which I didn't intend to. gnite'
geonerd
Worse than that: one fish, many fish, many species of fishes.
Phipsee
A goose, several geese. A moose, several moose. Oh dear I hope that deer finds its family of 10 deer. English is great, we just steal words.
geonerd
Can you explain to me 'i stuen' vs. 'på kjøkken'? ;)
GeneralBullshit
Sounds like you are talking about the location to find 1.a man. 2. A woman :)
GeneralBullshit
But no, never really thought about it before you just mentioned it...
futuralon
English is weird. Some nouns are count nouns, some mass nouns, this helps explain it https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mass_noun
GeneralBullshit
Some words are cunt words
iWantedANewName
Myself and my friend herein the UK pronounce it...
mudrer
Now try town names in Massachusetts.
BridgetBird
My cousin from ireland asked me why we don't pronounce the s in Illinois. It's a native american name i believe. Google will tell me.
iwouldprefernot
As a native, every once in a while a local news program gets a new reporter/anchor from outside New England and hilarity ensues.
webberjo
Now watch these Japanese men try to pronounce "Massachusetts" https://youtu.be/lotHjU2ENrE
BridgetBird
That's funny
Counterfit
The other day, I drove to Haverhill to pick up stuff from a company that had just moved from Woburn.
LoopStricken
Bawst'n.
Counterfit
That's small time around here. Worcester, Gloucester, Haverhill, Woburn, Leominster, Reading, Needham, Scituate, Barnstable, etc
LoopStricken
What, did Massachusetts just steal English town names wholecloth?
Counterfit
Most of New (and improved) England did.
tomyironmane
well, maybe it was, once...?
FicklePickle13
The L in the Latin 'salmo', whence 'salmon' came, is definitely pronounced. Let's just blame the French.
tomyironmane
It' almost ALWAYS the fault of the French.
tomyironmane
It' almost ALWAYS the fault of the French.
ImAkuTheShapeShiftingMasterofDarkness
You pronounce it here in Italy.
MerToo
I can't, I don't have a mustache.
bigblindguy
Every latin language pronounces all the letters, thats the basis to reading Latin languages.
Counterfit
Wait, what about all those French words with unpronounced consonants at the end? Like nearly every infinitive verb?
SmoopyOfTheVoid
French is the retarded brother of the bunch. (but, actually, French just went through sound changes, and the spelling never updated)
q6j6p
Not the "h", or "u" when is followed for an "i" and "e"
mytigio
Hola!
ImAkuTheShapeShiftingMasterofDarkness
Ciao