NotEveryoneIsSteve
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No themes, just memes. Some extra Altered Beast as a treat.
Everything must go.
PunnyTiger
#19 Christ means "anointed", so call him Oily Jojo
MayMayz4DayzYo
#39 ai didn’t know you could catch Mesopotamia.
HighSorcerer
#13 *fans self with both hands* omg its finally happening!
Einstein9073
#10 i am not the first living being to use these carbon atoms, and quite frankly I am unlikely to be the last. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
maliciousGman
#49 This is like, the least insane thing he did. "In his later years, he embarked on publicized travels on his yacht, the Idalia. In 1925 he entered in a yacht race from the Golden Gate Bridge to Papeete, Tahiti and finished in last place. Though he was sued for running a man over with his yacht, Parker successfully dodged charges." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Painless_Parker
Clayman8
#27 sounds like bs sonce the Fwench would just pronounce it as Hugues, or [Ew-gh] for you Freedom-using weirdos.
TheMalcontent
#19 that's actually a plot point in part 7
ChiLLeCheeze
Makes sense since Jesus always made his stand known. There was even a bunch of stories written about his stand.
whatbuttondoipush
#7 THC really happened in Buffalo NY. A teacher found a pack of gummies on the floor and gave it to 2 kids.
MayMayz4DayzYo
#26 Girl, flee
jasondeslin
#7 When I was a kid I was told that hordes of people would be trying to give me free drugs my entire life.
Turns out, drugs are fucking expensive, and people don't just give them away for free without a very good reason.
sgnight13
#35 think it probably has a lot more to do with the whole thing where we make a bunch of orphans and then ten years later those orphans rightfully want to kill us
nukemall
#45 Feeling the might bite someone energy right now.
TheMightyMoto
Neat
Shaodyn
#35 Correlation does not mean causation. That said, this is interesting.
nothingunused
That's why it's a working theory. Wait until he publishes his thesis.
TootiesMagooties
#27 "imagine my name is Hugo without the go"
hydraien
Yep , i call bullshit on that one , Hugh is the English-language variant of the masculine given name Hugues, itself the Old French variant of Hugo . There was a french king named hugh ans is still a name commonly used in france
randomwalrus
Hugh Anus, you say? I would like to learn more, where can I subscribe/enlist?
KlvrDissident
Superb dump! So many keepers
cdspace
#16 Narrator: But that was not the end.
TyphoonMuscles
#27 Wouldn't his name be pronounced Ew?
Nateinthewild
#43 I'm sorry but if Superman is a 10 then Batman would be an 8 or 9 at best, but fucking ROBIN?! A TEN? Give me a break.
MelodyLightfoot
They didn't say robin was a 10 they said an 8
Nateinthewild
Oh they said 10 years old, my bad. But still, even an 8 is insane
PyroAvok
Just knowing the JL secret identities puts the narrator at 9. Robin at least knows who Batman is.
MelodyLightfoot
He is trained to beat up adults much larger than himself and depending on which robin it is he may also be a trained assassin.
blueKD
#49 His whole Wikipedia page is a wild ride https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Painless_Parker
tesseract4d2
#10 "fuel isn't dead people... Oh they mean dinosaurs... Wait, fuel isn't dinosaurs... Oh, algea dies too..."
tr1ck
#47 /gallery/remember-who-you-are-ODlHHte
qtRaven
#50
shardix
"No themes, just memes. Some extra Altered Beast as a treat."
Where is the Altered Beast you son of a bitch? There is not a single WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM to be seen here.
nothingunused
I remember being 14 and playing Altered Beast at the convenience store. Weird but genius idea - get kids in to play an arcade game and they'll get hungry and thirsty. I think they had Shinobi, too.
NotEveryoneIsSteve
My bad. I posted them in my last dump and copied the outro.
keyblader1985
#41 holy shit..
TresusIbor
Yeah that's uh...damn
Bobbobbobobbananafanafobob
I always thought it was fucked up that there were ghost Pokémon but not ghost people. Does that mean humans don't have souls? Or does it mean that God is real and the kingdom of heaven is denied to pokemon?
ThrowTheAccountAway
Dead kids often become often become Pokémon
Badprenup
Human ghosts appear in the games, show, manga, and other media https://m.bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Ghosts_in_the_Pok%C3%A9mon_world
HaluumTheMad
Some ghost pokemon ARE ghost humans. Yamask, and Phantump in particular are the ghosts of humans
Raoul97533
#43 If it calculates Danger and not pure power, Superman wouldnt be at a 10. Unless someone who wants all comic stories to be dark and edgy writes Superman, he might be very strong, but he is a kind and caring man.
nothingunused
Superman was originally envisioned (more realistically) as a supervillain.
NotEveryoneIsSteve
Yeah, Batman should be way higher. His whole thing is danger.
tehguldincalk
I think a 10 for Supes is still fair considering he's one of the most powerful beings alive, and has a lot of enemies. Simply being around him invites a great deal of risk. Just ask Lois...
GeneralWho
"Dangerous" doesn't always mean "likely to cause danger" but can also mean the capacity for danger. The ability to cause harm, not the inclination. It's a fairly common point even among non-edgy Superman stories - Man of Steel, world of cardboard.
zaxlor
It's why the dude at the end goes from a 3 up to a 9 - Just him KNOWING who the faces behind the suits are, makes him INCREDIBLY dangerous if he leaked that information, but his actual PHYSICAL ability to cause danger hasn't increased.
spacecowboyein
I don't get why Wonderwoman would be 11 if Superman is 10. Isn't Superman wayyyy stronger?
Bacxaber
He's a better person and won't live as long as her. Diana's a violent misandrist most of the time.
badgesweedontneednostinkingbadges
I disagree. Superman is a 10 because he has the potential to be that dangerous, and Diana gets the 11 because of the immortality thing. But Batman should only be an 8 or 9. He's strong, but not "super" strong, and while he has a bullet-proof suit, he is, after all, only human.
Bacxaber
That, and Diana's very often written as a violent misandrist.
Meebers
Batman also canonically has ridiculous contingency plans for every member of the JL going rogue, so if just the identity knowledge bumps the narrator to a 9 then knowing how to kill the rest of them definitely puts Sad Rich BatDad at a 10
Xerubay
Yeah, but Batman is rich and money can cause all kinds of trouble.
HeadJamistan
Well, if we're really gonna dig deep into nerd lore, we can look at how many times superheros minds have been corrupted by 1/
HeadJamistan
"insert mechanic here" and gone evil for a while until someone gets them back and comforts them by saying "I know it wasn't you" or 2/
HeadJamistan
some other happy sappy crappy line designed to soothe the superhero who slaughtered people.
boevis
#12 I don't understand the punchline, so I googled it, and ... I'm still not sure I understand it. Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss is a meme making fun of both Live, Laugh, Love, and "Empowerment Feminism" because the "Girlboss Movement" failed (seems misogynistic to assign Gatekeeping and Gaslightning as indicative of feminism...) A pretty mainstream democratic (but zionist) YouTuber named Natalie Wynn, on her channel ContraPoints, mixed up the words to make fun of them and buzzwords in general.
SmeesNotVeryGoodTwin
More so than making fun of Live, Laugh, Love, it makes fun of the reality of the Girlboss movement, which celebrated superficial wins and the women who achieved power by upholding patriarchal structures with toxic behavior. The girlbosses are gatekeeping and gaslighting other women to prevent them from achieving similar success and societal progress.
boevis
Wait, since when was there an actual girlboss movement? Afaik it's just a meme phrase like girl math. I feel like the word movement is doing a lot of heavy lifting
boevis
Again, this was like 5 minutes of googling things, so if I'm way off base on this, I'll gladly delete.
DonkeyGoat
Thanks for looking it up
emberfish
God forbid women do anything
Boksha
If I had to guess, I think it's just meant to be a blend between a shaggy dog story and an anti-joke; so, a long story introducing concepts that COULD combine into a lame pun ending, and then doesn't because the storyteller screwed up somewhere along the line and with the elements combined as-is, the punchline comes out as complete nonsense.
Teneksi
I must admit that I both heard and used "gaslight gatekeep girlboss" and derivatives as a meme, independent of deeper thought about the origins, meaning, and motivations behind it
the ending is funny to me because of the garbled familiar phrase.
see also: Nate the Snake, man door hand hook car door
NotEveryoneIsSteve
Nate the Snake XD I read that about fifteen years ago and still think about it.
boevis
There's a loss joke that ends with man door hand hook car Gun, wish I could find it
Arbitrarynamehere
Contrapoints is Zionist?
Kiotetravels
She made a tepid post basically saying the standard democratic line of "well genocide is bad but protesting doesn't work and there should just be a peaceful two state balance" so it's not exactly zionist but also any waffling on genocide is basically pro genocide.
Arbitrarynamehere
Dang even the explainer is getting downvoted sorry chief
Kiotetravels
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1b25oaHoxeGE1cmgzZWQ1YmxmNmEwMzg5cHdkN3BkdDkzNXYwd3lpcSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/SAHGcjT1jNvDB6oxI8/200w.webp
NomDeImguerre
#26 what's that figure on the shelf supposed to represent?
DonkeyGoat
I'm glad I'm not the only one that doesn't know
Joeybigtimes
That’s a KAWS street art figurine. It’s one of the more recognizable art toys, especially since it’s the same basic design over and over. It’s super commercialized and oversaturated. It’s what you buy if you’re mildly interested in street art but don’t dedicate any time to it.
NineByNine
...so basically the physical equivalent of an nft then
Joeybigtimes
Kinda? It’s a collectible, and there are some people who buy them as an investment. I personally think those people have too much extra time and not enough joy in their lives. So yeah, kinda.
It certainly attracts the same kind of people.
NomDeImguerre
Ah, so Funko avant-le-lettre, I get it. 👍🏼
Joeybigtimes
Nailed it.