CyberJackalope
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Jul 4, 2023 9:21 PM
CyberJackalope
140552
2280
68
callmemerrmerr
**These aren't the subtitles** Jesus says to not judge her. He who has not sinned cast the first stone
Msdee83
Baron29
FalconKeeperScallywag
Don’t forget the ol poop hole loop hole
iCantSleepUntilHerButtTouchesMine
Watch “Jury Duty” on Amazon for a truly funny scene with James Marsden being the hump jumper for two others doing the soaking. Seriously great show as wel.
FeloniousMonk13
softballguy
GrimNyrah
Sooooo FMITA if you love Jeeeeeesus. If you know, you know
Damnitmisternoodle
I hate that I had to go look up both terms
bangbangbangbangbangbangbangban
I just wonder.. how did they all agree its not a sin...? And if they did... WHY IS IT A SIN IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE?!
drunksales
TheSwedeLife
Uhhh, you OK over there, Americans?
IAmRandyButternubs
Our one pub trivia team name was Mormon Super Soakers
Init1alDee
that is an amazing name
Euchre
3 Mormons walk into a bar. God explodes.
Funktackular
MmmmmSoup
What
BigBuckeyeZ
Is Jesus a little cross eyed?
ontarioOT
I hate that I had to learn what those terms mean.
JustHereForTheMemes0321
.... what does it mean?
LaffertyDanie1
GreaseMonkeyOfLove
I hate that it exists due to religion’s determination to ruin being alive
aThingWithTheStufAndTheJunk
ItHappenedInThe20thCentury
fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus
QueTeValga
Remember children: Cult + Time = Religion
MisterDonutVampire
Have you ever laughed so hard before that you farted?
TeelMoobeel
while having sex? yes!
MisterDonutVampire
JustHereForTheMemes0321
Absolutely
fudgycurmudgeon
Two questions: what is soaking? What is a hump jumper? I won’t sully my daily-deleted search history.
LariCheltsy
Explained earlier in the comments.
rozwell51
A very strange way to have a threesome.
kruug
Soaking: penis in vagina with no thrusting, just “soaking” in the juices. High jumper: a third person jumping on the bed to simulate the thrusting motion. Because it's an incidental movement caused by the mattress moving, they don't count it as “thrusting”.
Skeevethegreat
orbitn
I could teach you, but I'd have to charge. I deal in milkshakes.
willpostanything
Sewing equipment i guess
wetAnimal
It's a dominant part of American youth culture to get around insane religious puritanical ideology . Wake up and smell the Christian extremism the USA is drowning in it.
dudeloveall
/gallery/SsnD8YL/comment/2336261621 a hump jumper is a friend that jumps on the bed while you're "soaking" to cause "accidental movement" to make the fucking ok in God's eyes. All of this from the religion that gave us the old adage of "Oral is Moral"
Euchre
But uh, to swallow is to waste a chance to bring more souls into the church. Ya can't waste the paste. If he spills it on the ground, he's the bad one for wasting his 'seed'.
pullingsixty
So it really is about the friends we make along the way.
lostharbinger42
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=h">jump">https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hump%20jump and https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Soaking it's just sex with more steps involved and a lot of self denial
mmmerf1
THIS
IHopeMyKidsDontSeeThis
And (and I cannot emphasize this enough) a third person watching.
Rogahar
When you've been raised in a cult and thus the only understanding of the world that you have is what the cult fed you, you will go to some spectacular lengths to fulfil the (entirely natural) urges that refuse to leave you alone no matter how hard you pray in a way that you're pretty sure won't result in burning for all eternity in hell.
MantisTobagganMD
Meh, that's just willful ignorance at that point.
Rogahar
'course, learning that it's all a load of hokum and having yourself some guilt-free casual sex is far better for you in the long run, but that's not an easy thing to do. Religions have a *lot* of practice at making sure people stay brainwashed no matter what.
ITellBadPuns
Level with a guy who was raised Muslim. Is this... actually real?
anabanona531
I was raised Mormon and I never heard of it until well after I was out, but I truly wouldn't be surprised. I once convinced myself if my gf nudged my crotch with her foot that it wasn't sinful.
hobbitdoc
No it's not. Just a myth that everyone likes to cling to because BYU is a weird place where it *could* happen, but doesn't.
SJBSavageInk
What the hell is a hump jumper?
torokunai
learning this today took out neurons I still wish I had
mmmerf1
Apparently, a close mormon friend with poor eyesight and good cardiovascular health.
t4d3jkVillain
Apparently, some part of sewing machine. I still don't get the joke. I actually get it even less bcause i misread as high jumper. Dyslexia strikes again, lol.
Guantanamobaae
Seeing these cartoon characters again is giving me a whole shit ton of PTSD. It was actually these cartoons that first had me questioning the LDS cult. I removed my name from the records & there’s a reason why they hide their history. No one would ever join if they had the whole truth. It’s a commercial real estate conglomerate & investment firm with a small religious wing. That’s the Mormon church.
ItHappenedInThe20thCentury
That's... nearly every church.
Guantanamobaae
Not every church has hundreds of billions of dollars hoarded away in the stock market. UT state legislators meet behind closed doors with church leaders. Nothing passes without the church’s consent. Mormonism will soon be the worlds first trillion dollar church. All with rapidly shrinking membership. Mormonism makes extraordinary claims backed up with zero evidence. It’s a side show of side show at a really shitty circus. I’m just glad I’m out of it.
ItHappenedInThe20thCentury
I'm glad too, no one deserves to be in a cult.
Guantanamobaae
By definition and the BITE model, Mormonism is 100% a cult.
Euchre
You mean those giant plots of land they quietly own all over aren't the refuges for their idea of the Tribulation? (See: Deseret Ranch in Florida)
torcue
My favorite part of religion : finding loopholes, because God made the rules and worded them specifically so that He could be outsmarted.
Malloon
It does make a certain amount of sense. If you assume your god is perfect, the rules they made would be too, so any loopholes are actually intended.
TeelMoobeel
thus: Catholicism.
PhurbuMukpodom
TeelMoobeel
"Pay for your sins, just 5 gold coins! Sin today, pay tomorrow!"
torokunai
cf. poophole loophole
Approved2Move
the weird part about such loopholes is that they're for those who don't actually believe what they claim but go along with it for who knows how many reasons (usually some weird social or familial expectations)
acountrymember
"Landsman has put a lot of work into the avoidance of having to understand concepts like that of the eruv, but he knows that it's the typical Jewish ritual dodge, a scam run on God, that controlling motherfucker." -- Michael Chabon, from 'The Yiddish Policemen's Union'
Isalan88
So if the motion is the sin, does he just teleport his schlong inside or what? Quantum Cock Entanglement?
dieSchadenfreude
Quantum Cock Entanglement, new band name, called it
CakeOrGlory
A jump-humper is a third person who jostles them to "force" stimulation, and they just HAPPEN to be passively coupled, nobody could EVER find them responsible for the act. So maybe they line up and the jump humper just... gives them a shove.
congressionalbitch
I get that part. But we have to address the act of initially putting it in
TheLookAndFeelMUSIC
LOL did some dry humping back in my Christian teen years. It's legit good though, I do it now unironically.
Euchre
So you didn't use the poophole loophole? Dry humping was the preferred release for Catholics back in the day.
CyberJackalope
Oh, yeah. Dry humping is still GREAT foreplay.
EgglyBagelface
Ain't that a mormon thing?
LordHosk
no, its a Moron thing
orbitn
I recently heard that Mormons have to meet with church elders in their early teens, one on one, to discuss sex, masturbation, fantasies and the like. From what i've read, it seems to be true. If so, that's goddamn terrifying.
Kalthramis
technically, sure. in reality, not unless the parent makes them.
Kalthramis
as utahn, i'm sure *someone* has done it, but no. not really. its not like mormons are aliens or something, if horny teens get naked and inside each other, they're just gunna fuck.
wetAnimal
It's pretty common with other young American Christians. Christian extremism is way worse than most americans are willing to acknowledge.
TI99Kitty
That would prolly explain the title.
EgglyBagelface
Lol didn't read
q98p45q42v5
Well there’s the evangelical’s poop hole loop hole.
PhurbuMukpodom
stinkybuttfacemagee
Oh my shit 🤣
gilliamv
Kittensmashh
Can confirm. Was Mormon. Learned about soaking at BYU.
BrdCdn
My condolences. I'm so glad My immediate family and I stopped going when I was a teenager.
apophisismydad
I must have been hanging out in the wrong crowds because I never once heard the term while there.
SnailsAgainstTungstenSpheres
That's so wild. Just have sex ya weirdos, it's real neato
TeelMoobeel
Was it considered a sin like masturbation? Sorry if this is too much to ask.
Kittensmashh
Definite sin that would prevent someone from taking the sacrament or even serving a calling. Temple recommend would likely be suspended and the individual would have to go through the repentance process. Super culty. Lots of mind fuckery.
mmmerf1
SERIOUSLY WTF. As a Catholic, I am a little cheesed that we get so much ridicule when THIS nonsense is going on. We fuck up. We go, say we fucked up. We get told that a) everyone, everyone fucks up, b) fuhgeddaboudit and c) this stays between us, but if you need to bring this up to someone else, that is up to you. AND WE'RE GOOD. Whole process (minus the fucking up, which can take as long as you like) takes less than 5 minutes. You don't even have to look at the guy if you don't want.
apophisismydad
From a layperson perspective, yes it would have been considered premarital sex by any bishop (clergyman). In the last twenty years or so they seem to have stopped caring/asking about masturbation.
Euchre
I was told by a Mormon kid that masturbation isn't a sin itself, per se, but is frowned upon because of being a 'waste of seed', losing chances of 'bringing more souls into the church'. The Biblical context for the 'sin' of masturbation was that it was wrong if you were doing it instead of giving your wife a child, or preferentially to sex with her, at least for some modern interpretations by religious people.
Kittensmashh
Actually, masturbation and pornography are more widely discussed than premarital sex and individuals face immense shaming and guilt for it.
TeelMoobeel
shame is the name of the game with many religions!
EMHPicardo
malakim
But... how does the penis get into the woman without movement?
WhiteRhino723
jayman0123
All comedy aside. Thank you for saving me from having to Google this shit
ArgumentativeArguerJustBecause
SchmotGuys
Blaza612
Man in every instance religion is just plain fucking weird how are so many people religious
KrampusCopia
Indoctrination. That's it. You grow up with everyone believing crazy stuff, and it makes it easier to just follow. If you question it you lose everything and everyone so you just dont.
KingKelloggTheWaffleHaggler
What the
Lethous
As a Mormon, I've heard this mentioned on social media many times but have literally never heard of a single person doing this. Also church doctrine wise, it would 100% still be a sin.
Katusa
ex-Morman and I actually agree. Never heard of this. Definitely still considered a sin under Mormon doctrine.
JustHereForTheMemes0321
wtf? lol!!!!!!
quicksilver1
I would be worried about upsetting a dinoverlord too, honestly.
IHopeMyKidsDontSeeThis
But how does he get it in the first time?
pinkmansaidthebest
Totally makes sense now.
ThePlotSickens
That's so unrealistic they haven't got their sacred white shirts on
SaintSleepyWeasel
What the fuck...
MrSatisify
DrMissAnonymous
KrondorMocker
jon3219
zingrhames
TIL and I wish I hadn't. Yikes.
shpankd
Thanks for the answering’y question of…WTF is that?
somnif
and a "hump jumper" is a third party who bounces the bed so that they end up moving anyway, but like... without sin. Because reasons.
tReasonoustRump
Like in Jury Duty?
omfglmfao
so wait... checks notes... we've got full penetrative sex with a 3rd on the bed and none of it is a sin? Ten points to Gryffindor!!!
KrondorMocker
TsubakiTragic
I'm not sure that this new knowledge makes me feel any better about mormonism (word?) or any other cult for that matter.
Lethous
Not technically a word but it's pretty accepted, technically replace it with "the LDS church". But also, soaking is 100% not a thing
semperknight
Religious people are so fucking weird.
tinybartender
*Religious people are fucking so weird.
KrampusCopia
Turns out it's both!
Midgarmerc
WHAT
Farzhad
God would be way cooler if we didn't have the "created mankind in His image" part and he was in fact a divine T-rex. That's neato.
CharlieandOliver
Can’t commit the sin of masturbation if you can’t reach your cock
tReasonoustRump
westellar
Or, hear me out, we could keep that part and he can still be a divine T-rex.
Farzhad
...Are you not a hominid, and in fact a T-rex?
westellar
Not yet. But maybe this isn't my final form.
MinimumContributor
Maybe he did and that was why the dinosaurs were first. Then the meteor wiped them out and he gave up.
TeelMoobeel
I always thought 'soaking' was a cool concept. I wish I'd known about it when I was a devout Christian. It'd be fun!
JamesBluntThatSmartassCunt
*T. Rex
Bubbells
That's what this means? Dear goodness, that sounds like the dumbass logic my (ex)stepfather's church would think up. 7 years of them trying to convert me and was always amazed by their logic and answers they would have to questions about it
CaptSheffield
Bubbles, well???
Bubbells
See below
SqueezitTheClown
WE’RE WAITING
Bubbells
Okay, sorry for wait. One of the biggest ones that came up was their belief that some guy named Joseph Smith living in the USA back in the early 1800s was told by God to found his own church and where he could dig up some golden tablets that contained the teachings of God. Are they in the Middle East like other relics from the same base religion? Nope, it's in New York. Okay... so can we also see these golden tablets? Sorry, they disappeared before anyone else can see them.
CaptSheffield
Bubbles, thank you.
Bubbells
I mean, seriously, this was supposed to be the basis of your beliefs. If your God tells you to go and spread this teaching then you would think that he wouldn't allow the biggest evidence for it to disappear. And it's not like stone tablets that if someone drops it then it might break. Bonus: try to get a devout Mormon to explain heaven, the afterlife, and space. Gave me a laugh for days
KMFDM781
I'm pretty sure the T Rex part is a joke, but Mormonism is so ridiculous that it wouldn't surprise me if they really believed that shit.
Guantanamobaae
In some very orthodox corners of Mormonism, dinosaur bones (like other Christian sects) were planted by the devil to try and deceive gods one true church. If you think soaking is weird, look up armpit crabs at BYU.
Lethous
It's not a thing, it would 100% still be a sin. Soaking is not a thing, byu kids are stupid and teenage boys probably make stuff up to get in a girls pants.
Rystefn
Butt sex is still a sin. Oral sex is still a sin. But people have basically always done both while pretending it's not. Still being a sin doesn't stop it from being a thing.
orbitn
I recently heard that Mormons have to meet with church elders in their early teens, one on one, to discuss sex, masturbation, fantasies and the like. From what i've read, it seems to be true. If so, that's goddamn terrifying.
Guantanamobaae
It’s very much a thing. You could have some old man in his 50s-70s asking a 12 year old girl if she masturbates. There’s no training for these men and some bishops will ask extremely inappropriate questions and will want specific details, especially if there are sexual “sins” that involve another person. Members are subject to bishop roulette, meaning each bishop comes up with their own arbitrary punishments. It’s fucked.
orbitn
Lethous
It is kind of a thing, and it's weird, or as weird as that makes it sound though, 1 same gender church leader would bring up the topic at a church retreat or something and just discuss teenage temptations and that they are normal and logical, but to keep it in their pants and wait for marriage. It should just be church themed sex ed, but like any church, some leaders make it weird and creepy.
Guantanamobaae
Nothing worse than being stuck in a closed door meeting with a bishop asking probing questions about what I do with my own dick. That shit pissed me off. Then come to find out most bishops are yanking it while simultaneously punishing others for the same thing. The public shaming of restricting sacrament is barbaric. I removed my name of record but I highly doubt they ever stop counting me as a member.
Lethous
It you remove records that's supposed to be a clean break, not even counted as a member. You would even need to get baptized again if you ever wanted to go back. My uncle did that, my wife just go like once a month, we have the classic modern issue of the doctrine is fine but the church is annoying. Especially since I live in a conservative area and it often finds its way into talks, like Jesus wouldn't be a democrat in a heartbeat.
orbitn
There needs to be laws about that sort of thing..
whistlebuzz
So what’s a humper-jumper?
J0k3rIX
A friend who jumps on the bed to transfer the motion for the sex part
speerface
Apparently it’s when a third party jumps or bounces on the bed to simulate sexual motion in order to create a more realistic environment for soaking.
teddybonkerrs
That’s fucking foul
whistlebuzz
Yea… ‘cuz that’s not sex
HooahDO
The new show Jury Duty does an amazing joke on this that I’ll never forget.
mrgreen326
Yeah that's the only reason why I knew about this before seeing this post
Lethous
Again as a Mormon, 100% never heard of this being a thing
Guantanamobaae
As an ex-Mormon, it’s very much a thing. Are you an active member but live outside Utah? You should also look into armpit crabs. It’s even worse.
teddybonkerrs
ARMPIT CRABS?!? That sounds like a special kind of hell
Lethous
Yeah I've never lived in Utah, dated one Utah Mormon early in the military, that girl was nuts, she was a freaky, but also nuts.
Flatbacktire
Come on! you can't just say something like that without explaining!
Johwin
| still refuse to believe soaking is a real thing and not just some urban dictionary fuckery
mormonbatman
It's urban dictionary fuckery. We just have sex.
Bojovnik84
Pretty sure it was made up by some dude that busted 2 seconds in to the pussy and needed to save face.
NightOwlRally
I'm fuckin dead lmaoo
ThisGuyHere
We had a Baptist youth minister tell high school kids that his sexual activity with his long time girlfriend was okay bc they did anal. Yes, literally the song "Fuck Me in the Ass Because I Love Jesus" a decade before they sang it. Needless to say, all my Baptist classmates in my small town were pumped. Well, the guys were...
Euchre
Well, if anal is OK, everyone's got an anus, so it doesn't even have to be a girl, right?
ThisGuyHere
snowclone180
Utah Mormons are like people from another planet. Nothing they do shocks me. They had to do a pulpit announcement some years ago to remind people that adultery still includes other people married in the temple that you aren't married to. Apparently a trend in Utah was having affairs with other temple married couples and calling it gravy because ''were all married in the temple'' which makes no sense at all to anyone that's paid attention to 5 seconds of Sunday school. Outside of Utah, No.
Euchre
Due to variations in Mormon beliefs, be careful driving through Utah on any Saturday afternoon until right before midnight Sunday. Mormons don't believe in traveling anywhere but to church on Sunday, and some count sundown as the start of Sunday, and others go with midnight. I've been cut off by a Utah plate on I-80 and I-84 going easily 100mph right before sunset, and then right before midnight, trying to beat that Sunday deadline.
BrdCdn
Was a Mormon as a child and teenager in Canada. Never heard of it. Utah Mormons are a whole new level of weird though so maybe. I doubt it's common though.
wetAnimal
Wake up and smell the crazy American because it's not only real but also really common. America is full of extremists christians doing stupid shit, a lof of which has serious consequences for all Americans, unlike soaking which is hilarious. But still americans burrying their in sand about what America is actually like is exactly why things have got as bad as they did.
julesthelee
it may have started that way, but now that kids got the idea it's definitely been done
Euchre
Without any consideration of religion, it's been used by some practitioners of tantric sex to draw out the sexual act without rushing to orgasm.
Jooud707
I believe it is only because mormanism is a really fucked up Cult. And God forbid teenagers do what every other teenagers do
secretdpp
Mormons are fucking weird. If you think that's crazy look into the mental space Olympics Muslim countries will do to justify buttfucking young boys. Religion is fucking cancer
newsguycraigevans
Pretty sure if I researched this I will be put on multiple watch lists
latenightbreeze
It's Mormon fuckery. So basically complete bullshit.
omfglmfao
even if it's urban dicionary fuckery so far... it won't be for long
tirohtar
I know several Mormons. I can definitely see it being a real thing. That whole cult is weird, like when some atheists complain about Christians, that's Mormons from the "normal" Christian perspective.
trayal
Spend more time among Utah students. It's a real thing.
RoombaTheAssaultVacuum
It is real. They do it because T-Rex's sight is based mostly off motion and soaking makes it impossible for the T rex to find them.
Mohaynow
Believe it, its more fun. Also makes Mormon boys out to be the worlds best salesmen.
TheLookAndFeelMUSIC
"Told you a last a long time in bed!" "yeh but you're not doing anything."
technofiend
In this house we follow the letter of the law! https://youtu.be/aG5Y4VXlk-w
anna747
This is gold!!!!
Kalli
If you ring Satan's doorbell, God can't ignore us
treysdad
These two are wonderful geniuses
casbott
It's region locked. Here's a region free version https://youtu.be/j8ZF_R_j0OY
AsAHistorian
I did undergrad at BYU and I'm convinced it's not a thing; I never saw or heard of any evidence of it, and like, the kids I knew there were weird in their ways, but not in that way.
thegreatninjaman
probably something that started as an urban legend and people decided to just do it because they thought that was the normal thing to do.
Euchre
The 'urban legend' argument seems to have arisen after at least 2018, and I know I've heard of it by 2007 at the latest, and I think closer to 2002, maybe even earlier, based on some Mormon coworkers and friends at those times. I've had some interesting discussions with Mormons who were open and willing to discuss some tricky (at least for them) topics. Did you know there's 2 kinds of marriage with them? Regular like we know, and 'eternal', which can't be divorced from, and is less practiced.
Cptbluebeard7
I know a Mormon from Utah, she confirms it's real. She could be fucking with me, it's kinda hard to tell, but some guy just started shaking me after.
JarJarBinksKisser
It is hilarious that they believe in a all knowing god. But think they can fool that god with dumb shit like soaking 🤣
RunningInSpaces
Have you seen what jews go through to avoid , "working on the Sabbath?"
jimplaysgames10
They think god is that guy from the meme "you are technically correct, the best kind of correct"
skincancerisfun
Whats crazy is they actually think they are MORE pious for finding ways around it. Like, the reason they know the loopholes is because they studied the word of god so well they deserve it.
Willowknowsall
You going to have somebody jump on the bed?
skincancerisfun
Ikr? But it tracks. It keeps it shameful, which makes people easier to control, and it practically guarantees kids (and we all know how much religions love them)
NoonaTuna
It's real, and for most western diet fans; A fitting tub.
casbott
"The loophole", by Garfunkel and Oates. https://youtu.be/j8ZF_R_j0OY
t4d3jkVillain
What's a soaking?
Deathpunkin
my friend also has this question
cansado
“Vaginal penetration without thrusting”, and jump humping is when a third party jumps on the bed (or whatever surface) to generate up/down on your behalf. Source: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soaking_(sexual_practice) - I better get some updoots for this, because I can’t unsee it
IdRatherBeOnThePlaystation
GuiltyAsChargedXer
Thanks for taking one for the team!
SonOfChicken
I only knew about this from watching jury duty. I thoroughly enjoyed that show
Findrek
Growing up I dated a girl who did oral, anal and every other kinky thing you could think of besides "the deed" and thought meant she was still "pure". This isn't far off from that.
TheLookAndFeelMUSIC
Autoerotic asphyxiation isn't technically a sin padre!
ZOMGNO
Yep. A friend dated a chick like that. He said she was really into everything they did, but had to stay a virgin for marriage. Um.... the amount of anal you two did? Not a virgin.
roneyBugPrince
Really? Shit I actually thought that was just some porn thing and maybe a couple of randos living in the bible belt. Interesting
Findrek
At least one made it to the midwest.
Qualtagh
Uh my man, pretty sure she just didn't want a parasite from a casual fuckbuddy growing inside her. That's pretty damn normal.
Findrek
First, we definitely discussed that it was religion motivated many times. Second, normal people use contraceptives (not to mention pullout and hope unfortunately) to avoid pregnancy, stick it up the back door is not a normal first stop.
ItHappenedInThe20thCentury
I get your point, but that's why god invented condoms.
THEcableguy
Even saying condoms were invented by "God" is so fucking cringe. Talking to religious people is like reasoning with a God damn toddler. Jeezus christ.
ItHappenedInThe20thCentury
Just so we're on the same page: I meant that as a joke, no religious person I've ever met would accept that "god invented condoms" - quite the opposite.
Alistairetheblu
Those (normal) people are out there, but that doesn't invalidate that these (religious loophole nuts) people are out there too.
niru83
It’s true. Lived in Utah for 30 years. If you think soaking is crazy, wait until you find out about the “super date” the byu kids have.
NortherWinslow5
OK, I'll bite, elaborate.
leocruzs
.
StopStealingMyBlankets
According to a quick Google, it's young Mormon couples running off to Vegas to get married, have a bunch of sex, get it annulled, and going home.
mmmerf1
Okay, THIS is why the Catholic Cathedral in Salt Lake City has the Latin text of Galatians 1:8 written in gold letters on the ceiling. Right here. They heard about Mormon kids doing this and just shut down the picnic and cancelled the football game.
StopStealingMyBlankets
All so they can say they didn't have sex outside the bonds or marriage
blainetog
But an annulment means there was never a real marriage to begin with, so technically they *did* have sex outside of marriage...
lostharbinger42
tbh, I'm not sure if hump jumping or soaking is less believable
Lethous
The hump jumper can't be a thing, in any logic, if somehow soaking before marriage isn't a sin (it would be very much so in LDS circles) then 100% having a third person in the room is a sin.
updootsonlyupdoots
Wtf are either of these terms
Cyanide555
Soaking. Put it in and don't move. Hump jumping. A friend jumps on the bed to make you bounce up and down. Mormons are weird
TieflingDelivery
C*ck warming?
extraDimensionalAnxiety
Just called my gf a cock warmer. I don't think I have a GF anymore.
iriszero
Never even heard of these phrases till I watched Jury Duty. Lol
GorillaPowers
The 1995 Paulie Shore movie?
iriszero
Nah. The 2023 faux-reality tv show on Freeview with James Marsden
iriszero
Freevee
JoeDepciMowed
Oh my gosh...yup! Also, jury duty was a fun watch.
VX7567
I went to BYU and I absolutely believe it. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it’s really, really weird over there.
Gherkincensed
See that isn't a good thing for religion.
flyingmonkeystick
Being the jumper must be fun as shit.
ComicPi
Jumping on the bed is fun in all situations
ItHappenedInThe20thCentury
I would love to be a bitch and disagree with you but you're just right.
Lethous
I've never heard of it in any YSA group or anywhere else I've been to, it's gotta be urban dictionary stupidity. However I fully expect it's manifested itself into existence in a place like BYU
KinetoPlay
Wildly off topic but hi. Do they encourage you to watch any of their TV shows while you're a student there?
NooPogodi
"Bottoms Yo" university
Wubbalubbadubdubb101
Bring um young
RichardPotato
Nengex
Utilize the poophole loophole.
PhurbuMukpodom
bricksanchezmusic101
Zeroforwinger
If someone has the self control to put it in and not move it, god bless them. They deserve to go to heaven.
Goatlovers
That is hilarious. Internet points for you!
ApplebottomGene
Top comment, +1
Lethous
If it's actually a thing it has to be just crap the guy says to the cute Molly Mormon girl to let him put it in and go from there
myotherusernameismyotherusername
Does flexing to make it jump around count as moving?
Lichelf
I assume they secretly move while their friend jumps on the bed, or when alone flat out just have sex normally 2 seconds after attempting to soak, but pretending like they didn't afterwards.
MaurnaElegYiar
I mean get a girl in the spooning position and it can be a very big tease if you do things right
Gayforbae
Yeah don't you just love it when her veiny strapon teases your tight puckered hole?
lostlittletimeonthis
MightyMile
rfc1918block
Lol I just imagined me trying and yeah nah.
iLynux
My partner actually enjoys some of this. The pressure and throbbing, squeezing, teasing no movement. But you can only do it so long and then you gotta go to town with the pumps.
rfc1918block
I do it after we climax typically. Good for connection.
iLynux
Yeah. "Noooo, stay innnn. 🥺" Lol, ok
VashTehStampede
You obviously don't understand the mental gymnastics a religious nutter will go through to have sex but still claim with no irony that they are better than you.
MasterMookie
When basic needs go against your teachings you know you got a problem. Practically like breatharians
servingmytimeinusersub
"nutter"... Heh
VashTehStampede
This guy gets it.
NateintheNorth
Can confirm, I put it in my gfs butt in hs.
LooseyGooseyBrett
Butt, what what!
Turdsandwich10
Lmao
ExtraWoody
PriestofThor
LaughingInTheFaceOfDanger
Tigersterne
Yes, but a Catholic woman I know told me she lost her "anal virginity" first, because according to her mother "using tampons was sex too."
blindlynx
I have additional questions.
Tigersterne
Putting tampons in your vagina is sex I believe that was covered in the original comment please keep up