theinternetconfusesme
130463
2191
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Feb 13, 2018 4:15 PM
theinternetconfusesme
130463
2191
121
theCKthing
We don't care about valentines day, but we just can't say no to an excuse to gorge on chocolate together.
OctopusOccult
#4 Me and my girlfriend got together on the 19th, we celebrate our anniversary and Valentine's in one day.
km9v
I thought it was Singles Awareness Day or SAD.
quickhand
My girlfriend and I celebrated our first valentine's by buying fireworks and blowing shit up. That's how you do it.
notanevilgenius
sounds like a keeper.
mazimillion
Things my parents don’t celebrate: valentines, NYE. Things my parents DO celebrate: dog getting a new haircut, GOT returning, scratchoff win
acatnamedmonkey
... This seems to indicate I'm turning into a parent.
BruteHoleForce
It’s more “laugh at desperate coworkers day” the day after is “laugh at hungover coworkers day”
HappinessandtheCheshireCat
Dam, I forgot to get a girlfriend.
BecauseCanadian
I got married on Valentine’s Day and I cringe every time I think about it
RazorAndBladeSavedTheDay
these are the perfect level of spicy
im4mi
Feb. 15th......1/2 price chocolate!!!!
NuVanDibe
#1 fuck you dude maybe she just tossed them thought they were sweet. fucking terrible advice jfc
sbnao1
TBH I find the Hallmark hate interesting. Vday isn't a Hallmark holiday. It's much older. Loves been a theme for centuries with the holiday.
apt311
#4 My wife and I met Jan 23rd. I think Valentine's Day was our second date. She was sick.
kellycorn
Broke up with my boyfriend yesterday though I didn't want to so tomorrow shouldn't be depressing at all.
theinternetconfusesme
How’s Kyle taking it?
kellycorn
I think he is relieved because the relationship was so exhausting to him. He was pooped.
jerkingfrooda
Celebrating Mardi Gras instead. Pizza and beer romance.
CarInAVet
But Valentine's is on Ash Wednesday...
chitterbug
#1 or has someone who keeps hitting on her and doesn't want to bring it up and ruin the day.
imooforyou
Yeah that account is a bit bitter. But the 'loved and lost interest' one made me laugh.
nero4ty2
wife and I both worked in restaurants for a long time, both vowed to never do anything "special" we eat chocolate and taco bell
thornmallow
I like V-Day. yeah. I said it. I'm done pretending I don't care about cute holidays in a bs attempt to avoid looking high maintenance.
thornmallow
Tired of being judged for being romantic because some people use the day as an exscuse to gold dig and be needy.
theinternetconfusesme
You know what? I respect your honesty and it’s nice to hear that someone out there enjoys it. Good on you.
ThisIsntFlyingThisIsFallingWithStyle
Bought myself a new video game. Happy Valentine's day from me!
ThelostWorldofAtlantis
My partner and I agreed not to celebrate because I really don't like the ridiculous hallmark holidays and the pressure.
[deleted]
[deleted]
ThelostWorldofAtlantis
That's normal fare in our house
snoogans671
My wife thinks its stupid. The most we do is I make dinner and she buys me beer or bourbon if she finds a good deal on it.
EmanNiemThcin
Meanwhile in catholic areas: Happy lent everyone, here is your ash!
TheRealSpaghettiMonster
#4 Thanks a lot for the reminder of my stress, @OP
ChoochyMcGee
Just realized I’m going to look like basic single sad girl tomorrow.My friend’s thesis defense is tomorrow and all she wants to do is -
ChoochyMcGee
-order 4 entrees from Buca di Beppo, get Nutella empanadas, and watch The bachelor with me and two other single lady friends to celebrate.
ChoochyMcGee
And do puzzles. Only now realizing it’s Vday and this will look like a sad single girl gathering instead of badass doctorate celebration.
darkdragonempress
Just make sure to have high spirits. Then it just looks like friends having fun instead of desperately latching onto the nearest male.
twominutesforhighsticking
Nothing about nutella empanadas says sad. I'm trying to figure out how to make friends with ya'll in time to get an invite now.
halcat
There is absolutely nothing sad about friends out enjoying themselves on any day of the year. Anybody who thinks a table full of (1)
halcat
laughing women is "sad" is a miserable joy killer who I will personally Gordon Ramsay out of the restaurant for you. (2)
Xandelle
Ever year for 4 years now, we buy about 10lbs of crab and have a badass home cooked meal and spend quality time together looking at memes.
thedreamcrusher
That sounds AMAZING.
Gianttesticlemonster
Gunna grab some brews. Cook a burger. Watch basketball. And then watch some shameful scientific content
TwistedAttitudes
I bet you're into the real shameful NSFW content, like people not wearing close toed shoes and lab coats.
voicesandmusicformoney
Well, Pornhub Premium is free on Valentine's Day, so definitely a good time to do it.
Gianttesticlemonster
Free all week actually
bimbosaurusrux
WhiteningMcClean
I haven't even planned my day out but this probably will describe it with pinpoint accuracy
crann
Webcams! Amiright. Wave of the future. The tesla roadster in space stream is still up and running, gotta get you some of that dirty science.
youremyboyblue123
Really? I thought it was over.
youremyboyblue123
https://www.cnbc.com/2018/02/08/elon-musk-shares-the-epic-last-photo-of-starman-in-the-red-tesla-he-shot-into-space.html
youremyboyblue123
Meaning that they “posted the last image of spaceman”
crann
Oh, well. Nevermind, guess he'll have to settle for the other webcams.
MystieNethersworth
#2 though ~ so tempting
youremyboyblue123
.
theinternetconfusesme
Do it - pics or it didn’t happen.
MystieNethersworth
My boy-o would be so distraught if he knew I did something that neurotic~ you do it and send us pics!!
Darkspire
Not as tempting as throwing a chair at someone who does that.
MystieNethersworth
I found the person hiding an affair from their SO! Happy Valentine’s Day!
Darkspire
I'm single, so I'd be surprised if you could find your own ass with a map and a mirror. An accusation like that can destroy a fledgeling
Darkspire
relationship easily, regardless of the loyalty of the man involved.
Renza0
be sure to document how many people come running out of each restaurant when you do it, and provide us with the details
RydWolf
But what about #3? That's the real temptation.
MystieNethersworth
Well that ones a definite
IAmTheOneCuttingTheOnions
theinternetconfusesme
They’ve been dating less than a month but face the same expectations and pressures of delivering a romantic evening as other couples.
Herecomesjohnny
i mean, every date is a romantic evening. Cuz then that's just....sex, isn't it?
penguintoot
nahhhhh
RazersEdge
Joke's on you, some of us are single...still... *sobs*
spacecowboyein
My gf and I broke up recently cause she had to move, but I know she was looking forward to the 14th. I don't mind the holiday either
spacecowboyein
I'll take any excuse to eat at a nice restaurant- Plus guaranteed sex
ladyjigglebutt
Divorce is almost finalized...
YOUPROBABLYSAWTHISNAMEINTHECOMMENTSANDLOOKEDBECUASEITSALLCAPS
Don't forget it's singles awareness day
ozzycats
11 years now
ISayIdontLikeSandWhenISeeSand
20 years and counting
butternutsquashfarts
I feel your pain. Wife told me in December she's leaving me. I truly thought I had spent my last Valentine's Day alone.
HornyUn1corn
Don't stress it. The best relationships I've had have come from me not intending to find a relationship. Life... Finds a way.
WaveOfSilence
Absolutely. 5 years in a relationship that just... happened. Lol.
NeverSeenAMovie
Yup gf broke up with me last week
ChubbsStaypuft
Being in a relationship is overrated.
IvanAwfulitch
Widowed for nearly 14 months :/
IAmAnEgg
:( so sorry
IvanAwfulitch
Thanks. The reddit group /r/widowers helped frame things in perspective. Unfortunately, membership in this awful little club is growing.
TomZarekVP
4 years for me. I've got a "girlfriend" who is mostly FWB but like for a year and a half and Vday won't feel right whatever I do.
imgurianitarian
IBrutallyCritiqueDickPics
That's a great theory and all but I'm single and poor.
TasteOfNoise
indeed. I have several long term relationships and have been happily single since 2012. I haven't once tried dating since. lovin it
IamAMON
23 years and running
Xenarion
That makes two of us. But hang in there, 7 more years and we'll be wizards.
myr14d
I mean. Razer's got you beat. Hell, he's even got me beat and that's impressive.
Lamanch
Just remember, if you're still a virgin at age 30, you become a wizard.
nononini
Oh yeah, can confirm that.
IamAMON
Not a virgin, just single.
PRDWRaven
Wow, i didnt kow that i was guaranteed to be a wizard! Apparantley im luckier than i thought. What happens when i reacch 60? 90? 120!?
PRDWRaven
Holy shit, i didnt kow that i was guaranteed to be a wizard! Apparantley im luckier than i thought. What happens when i reacch 60? 90? 120!?
PRDWRaven
Holy shit, i didnt kow that i was guaranteed to be a wizard! Apparantley im luckier than i thought. What happens when i reacch 60? 90? 120!?
CastawayKyle
For real though, I would remain abstinent for life if it meant I could move shit with my mind and turn people into goats.
RoninRyker
Yo, I’m with you.
kirbyvictorious
It doesn't count if you're only 23 years old -.-
anonymousdoctorsinspace
Nobody said he was 23...
joyjumper
Oh. My. God.
FUNKAPUS
If it doesnt count when you're only 23, it never counts. Your experience doesn't invalidate theirs.
Rips4w
It sure is pleasant being lovingly married to a woman who legitimately doesnt give a fuck about Valentine's Day.
tqmidget2k
it is.
IreallywantmynametobeSpaghetti
My anniversary with my Fiancee is today Feb. 13th we have NEVER celebrated Valentine's day.
LupusIgnis
Today is half a year apart from my wedding anniversary, so we celebrate that. Except we were both too ill to do much more than exist.
spiderqueendemon
"You mean Discount Chocolate Eve?" -all the married people.
HaleSatan
My husband and I have seen about 7 Valentine's days thus far. Haven't celebrated one and I'm so glad we don't.
Nottheuseryouarelookingfor
Same brother. Wife thinks it's a bullshit holiday made up to sell candy and cards
clownqueefs69
Well look at Mr. Fancy over here. Enjoy all of your extra money.
avalani
I tried not to give a fuck about it. Then he told me he bought 3 gifts. So I had to buy shit too.
ApogeeMcGee
True story.
RedIronCrown
Married 17 years and we've never done anything special for Valentine's. We don't do much for our anniversary either.
Voidhawk42
NowWatchMeGlitch
Couldn’t remember when my bf and I started dating so we just said Valentine’s Day. Now there’s an actual reason to celebrate it.
ASOIAFgymcoach
Ditto but our anniversary is 2 days later (not intentionally around v-day)
Calistrasza
I'm the same way. *highfives your wife*
vitaminRmademefat
rainbowcoloredpoop
Idgaf about Valentine's day either. My bf and I always agree to not celebrate and then he brings me chocolate anyway. The bastard.
DynamicWeight
Smart man.
rainbowcoloredpoop
I'd be just as content if he didn't bring me chocolate on Valentine's. However, I'm not gonna say no to free chocolate.
strangledbyaturtleneck
Mine has done little things that I would appreciate anytime of the year. I told him no breaking the bank
youremyboyblue123
I usually work longer hour days on V day just to not think about being single on V day.
strangledbyaturtleneck
We're both working, we're gonna go do something fun on the weekend instead
strangledbyaturtleneck
I'm sorry, I misread your comment. You should take yourself on a you date. Have a nice dinner, watch your favorite movie, something special
SerialKitten666
Some people like celebrating Holidays tho, it's an excuse to be extra romantic/sweet in the chaos of each other's lives, it's not terrible
HaleSatan
I get why people enjoy the celebration. I just can't grasp people who get all pissy when they don't get a $200 gift. My sister in law is 1/2
HaleSatan
That way and it's so obnoxious. Just don't be an unappreciative little shit.
Rips4w
I agree. We just hate consumerism andI materialism together and we constantly shove our love in each other's faces. No V-Day necessary.
SerialKitten666
That's sweet :) I'm just celebrating with pizza, chocolate fondue and beer with my man, people don't need to go all out either, for sure.
thatfucknguy
Kinda sucks when you appreciate the holiday and she doesn't, though. That's my boat. Oh well, I still do my best to make it special for her
cogitoro
Came here to comment this. All these folks heaping praise on women who don't care about V-Day. SOME OF US MEN LIKE THE DAMN HOLIDAY
WookieWookieWookie
My wife and I got engaged on the 16th, so we celebrate both
mrsforfunsies
Got my husband a new power tool that he was drooling over at Home Depot. Asked him to grab my gym bag out of the car and he found it...
mrsforfunsies
Ran upstairs squealing about if it was for him, how nice it’s going to be, where he’ll put it in the shop, asked how I got it in the car...
mrsforfunsies
After all that, kissed me on the forehead and said I’m the best wife. We had a lot of bumps in marriage recently and this was perfect.