MayMyEnemiesLiveLong
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Sep 25, 2021 1:20 AM
MayMyEnemiesLiveLong
92405
1039
32
LTP88
This happens to me every day. Not being a Christian I never say grace.
MrHailstone
I only ever saw saying Grace on tv. Do people really do that?
SometimesIUseAllOfMyCharactersAtOnceAndDontCareAboutTheConsequ
Sensino
SOLUTION! Eat the food REALLY FAST before Satan get a chance ;P
Endocrom
Why are their massive eyebrows vertical and between their floating disembodied eyes?
Sauroctonus
Because cartoon.
YourMotherApproves
It's ok. I just say one blessing at the beginning of the year to cover all my meals.
Sauroctonus
Is this a normal dinner for Americans?
Muhfynmann2
“Bless this meal and make it nourishing for my body amen.” Dives into a plate of mashed potatoes, gravy, fried steak, pie, and a Diet Coke.
SupaCabra
Sleep tight
Snowdemoman
You'd think they could just hire a priest at the local mall, to bless everything going in and out of the place.
bigblindguy
An actual Christian recognises that this has already come to pass, else why are a third of the worlds children hungry right now?
Shaows
But I thought the devil only ate ass
puppiesncream
Well, well, well, speak of the devil.
Frenchgeek
Tells you something about the taste of this dinner.
ColdestOne
BigTex1
And that’s why I sleep nude.
Brettkeen
The greatest lie the devils ever told
confanity
Maybe nobody in the family cooks well so all their food is ass.
GroovyCrowley
Promises... The fucker never showed up
BlackWingPhoenix
This is why you should by “pre-blessed food” instead of non-blessed food to avoid this problem!
HelpfulCorn
Eat kosher!
Ristari
https://youtu.be/j9JUqS4Q2A0 like this?
BlackWingPhoenix
You have no idea the joy I feel that someone else gets my reference
Pavloval
The efficient Christian just blesses all the food in the shopping cart.
Insomnia297
I'm pretty sure the pope has blessed the ocean at some point and all water pretty much comes from and goes there eventually, so all food
Insomnia297
is blessed
VaIerie
I get mine pre-blessed. Sometimes double pre-blessed from the store.
Gestalt7
My grandfather always used to say that there was no point in saying grace over leftovers.
NotSomoneElse68
That's kinda how Kosher works, but it's earlier on, like when they process the meet.
ShamanOfHigh
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9JUqS4Q2A0
KaptainObveeus
Our grocery store pays 10 priests and a bishop to do the whole store every morning. Saves time at dinner it's great.
AccountCreatedToUpvoteDogs
Can we swap holy water into the produce mist machine?
badatediting
Constantine blessed the fire sprinkler system water, turning it to holy water in the movie.
Eli93
"It's done been blessed!"
Sensino
Why not just bless the whole shopinc center? Or bless the entire Earth? THAT would be really efficient.
naughtydawg19858
or you can buy your food pre blessed, or even DOUBLE PRE BLESSED!
MinBlick
I am not convinced that this isn't a thing in America.
Ghlargh
Hire two priests to bless the whole supermarket on their way to work each morning.
PwnageHobo
Just set up an automatic blessing at the threshold of your demesne
VodkaReindeer
Surround your entire community with a blessing line.
CaptainYesterday
The conveyor belt at checkout automatically spritzing everything with holy water.
PwnageHobo
A goddess inside a cage, thrown into ankle-deep water, casting a purification spell over and over until the giant alligators go away.
Colorado114
Hmmmm idly specific…. I wonder if a pyromaniac wizard is nearby?
PwnageHobo
idiotcube
Use it to prank vampires by inviting them across said threshold!
BamboozleInsurance
That's some bullshit
PwnageHobo
Inviting them in to do them harm would violate the rules of hospitality. It's not worth the karmic hit involved.
badatediting
If we don't sin, Jesus died for nothing.
Colddamage
What if you phrase it like "You shouldn't come in for your own good, but you may"? That way they screw themselves by not heeding your advice