shae27
35304
806
22
Jul 30, 2025 8:32 PM
shae27
35304
806
22
Butidontwanttomakeausername
#5 Yes but I still feel obligated to go to work and hold onto my human life
a2s2020
#9 “aww” (A beetle who thought it was your friend)
aThingWithTheStufAndTheJunk
I do not radiate joy. I radiate the occasional bon mot and that seems to tide people over.
Wikipedo
#5 19 out of every 20 Brits are criminals
ToSisPoS
#1 boom. ROASTED
Mostlydeadpool
#1 That's all well and good until the joy generator needs their battery replaced by something and nobody is willing to help or reciprocate.
CaptainScarfish
#8 While defending the innocent is a noble goal, those creative semantics are still likely to incur the same wrath as a lie. A rose by any other name.
NZSheeps
#5 Does that mean one of The Beatles was a beetle?
StillAKidAtHeart
All any of us are really looking for is someone whose Demons play well with our own.
GuerrillaschaukelnInDerTodeszone
My demons be like
meganical
I mean, I’m looking for ways to suffer less constantly but you probably have a normal body and immune system
Sypurist
I loved her not because of how she danced with my angels, but because the sound of her name could silence my demons.
Mostlydeadpool
[doom music starts]
brandsilven
#5 Ringo Starr: "All three of my mates were Beatles."
mm2k
Awww
dakonsept
Ringo is the Beatles Georg who skews the ratio for all of us...
ShiningDawn
#8 why the mental gymnastics? Just say you can lie to protect people, there's no need to complicate things.
TheLovelessHummingbird
I have this issue. It can get super dicey because I work with customers on support calls. My anxiety and autistic traits take over a lot when I'm anxious because I'm working against the clock. So their questions that need diplomatic or even straight up lies (in my view, coworkers don't always agree they're lies) receive straight up answers that can and have made things so much worse. BUT I still have the job so it's kind of fine, but I gotta at least try
IrrelevantHandle
I have a hard time with lying too (autistic) in no small part because I try to make my morals logically consistent. It's a lot more work, thought, and research than people seem to think.
Mikehippop
It's probably related to an argument regarding Kantian morality. Kant argues that it is always immoral to lie, even to protect someone. This person is saying "Well, technically you're not lying." Personally, I feel that it is entirely possible to protect your friend in this situation without lying or doing mental gymnastics. "Is he here?" "Yes" "Can I come in?" "No" "Perhaps I'll wait outside." "Perhaps I'll show you what your liver looks like."
PectorialMuscles
You can't protect your friend against overwhelming odds. Eventually they will get got. You failed by admitting their presence. Your first and only job is to obscure them. I read this scenario through the lens of hiding from the Gestapo.
Lying is as immoral as the reason you're doing it. People following such a childish absolutism should grow the fuck up. In the case they can't, answering: "can I get your friend," with "no," is perfectly fine.
Mikehippop
This scenario, both here and as it was originally presented, concerns only a single enemy. Additionally, you have made the assumption that my friend has chosen to remain in place rather than flee via the upstairs rear window. In regard to the gespato, they are going to force their way in regardless. With modern technology, there is no place you can hide. Any conversation you engage in is merely a formality. It is best to simply kill them. Invite them in, then see them out with explosives.
ShiningDawn
So you believe violence is preferable to dishonesty? Personally I'd sooner lie to avoid wasting time. It's not like people who come knocking on your door are entitled to your honesty.
Mikehippop
I'd rather tell the truth and waste as much of my enemy's time as possible. I'll give them a grand tour while my friend escapes. As for violence, I find it preferable to peacefully walking into a gas chamber. If I'm going to go, then I'd rather go violently. Death is the inevitable result of living. I might as well bring a fascist with me.
ShiningDawn
Well if you're that afraid of lying, go right ahead.
Mikehippop
Oh yes, quite terrified. Why just the other day I described my shirt as black only to later discover it is, in fact, Navy Blue. The moment I found out, I had a complete mental breakdown and had to spend 15 years in a mental institution.
ZougasNewFist
#5 this is incorrect unfortunately.
A quarter of all known animal species are beetles
Not a quarter of all animals
BrusselSpout
Oh, so my fourth friend is not beetle? I was just about to break the news…
randomwalrus
The friends portion still remains truthful though. As there are only four types of friends; Jock, Nerd, Foodie, and Beetle.
RhymingEverything
john, paul, george and ringo
oldvydeo
That's four out of every four.
petpet3d
I would believe that a quarter of all animals by number are ants.
ZougasNewFist
I actually googled to see if ants were technically beetles because I thought the same. They're not
Ithinkimbetterthanyousometimes
Can you Google to see if ants are a quarter of all animals
Ggbambi
Any luck?
MajorasTerribleFate
My attempts revealed wild variance on the populations of both ants and copepods (populous kind of mostly small crustaceans). Without knowing the truth of these numbers, either could vastly outnumber the other or represent the largest number by quantity.
GrumpyFatPants
Someone should go and do a census on ants to establish a firm set of data
BitRoyal
So if none of my friends are an ant, not only am I an ant but my friend group is a statistical outlier. We're the Only One Fourth Ants Georg of friend groups.