m15p02h
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Apr 14, 2015 11:14 AM
m15p02h
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KatehasaBlog
This post has made me realize just how influential our British roots are in Canada.
LotusF1ower
These are accurate to a Tea
TheRadbeard
Pls...
Jobomotombo
Oh yes how could I forget United Kingdon, the lesser known name of our country
sidfromtoystory
sounds like the head of the british mafia
FinallyRElephant
I'm American & flew British Airways coming back from Europe. They announced that due to turbulence there would be no tea. Cue audible groans
Squishbeans
When you get your hair done and hate it... but agree that it looks lovely. Thank them and pay them for your new hated hairdo
DezTurkish
*pssst* over politeness is not just a British thing, lots of people do that.
Squishbeans
TRUE!! But they're best known for it
DezTurkish
I thought that was Canadians.
radioFREEmadras
Also: Sailing halfway across the world for the purposes of empire-building with the cunning use of flags. - E. Izzard
TheRedOnesTasteLikeBurning
SlothsareBoss
The Brits are some of the nicest people I have ever met :) Miss my old mates!
CarlosPerfectHair
We miss you too. I doubt I know you but you're probably a decent chap/chapette.
SlothsareBoss
You sound like one too :) Used to live in Northwood, Middlesex and went to Primary school there. Miss it every day.
SnakePit
as a Brit, i get irritated when people call Britain 'England' because they do not realize there's more than one country here. -Scotland
SketchNI
Wales and Northern Ireland get pissed too, man
SnakePit
i'm not surprised. *underdog hi-5*
PenitusVox
Us border tribes get no respect.
thatssoatheist
Saying "sorry?" or "pardon?" whenever you don't understand anything.
bakeyyy
Isn't that just how most languages work?
thatssoatheist
Typically a "huh" or a "what?".
ShadowNFlame
I thought that was just polite. Not British and I do it. I spose I could say: The fuck you just say?'
thatssoatheist
That is how many people approach it, after all.
DezTurkish
That's not just a British thing. That's a people thing.
buddhagrinch
Try searchibg for österreich austria or oesterreich you never know wheter its listed with a, o or all the way at the end of the list
ThePowerOf42
I upvote this.. Sorry
Viregel
There's also that feeling of annoyance when you see an American flag next to the English version.
TheRadbeard
It hurts, sometimes :D
TheKRNL
The struggle is real. Many a time have I had an internal monologue full of rage and loathing but only a cursory "Sorry" is uttered.
Meatryl
Just recently been to Britain, you are worse then Canadians when it comes to saying "sorry" ._.
WhereOnceThereWasAYachtNowThereIsNot
The fucking gall of a MARMITE eater claiming that BUTTER would taint their filthy, gross yeast-infection-spread. OTHER WAY AROUND, FUCKO.
ShenanigansForHireExperiencedBeerTasterAndCraicFacilitator
Jam in the butter is grounds for homicide. I'm sorry but that's just how it is.
kittenkisses
This is the most British thing I have ever read.
bakeyyy
Apart from 'fucko', god knows what that is.
Justineer
+1 for "fucko".
TheLordLucifersBannedAccount02
I know, right? Real people eat vegemite, and they don't put butter on it.
Atheros
unfortunately Marmite is soooooo thick that you need lube.
TheLordLucifersBannedAccount02
I've had it. Doesn't agree with me.
giveittomestraightlikeapearcidermadefrom100percentpears
WOAH WOAH WOAH!!! Just because YOU don't like marmite, don't insult those who do. Its rich in all the good vitamins, and loads of iron.
giveittomestraightlikeapearcidermadefrom100percentpears
Not to mention its like a party in your mouth, and everyones invited.
LordOfTheRingDings
And then they all drank too much and started vomiting.
SlyeFox
Perfect response. +1
AlexImguram
You either love it or hate it. It literally says so in the advert. Explains why everyone here seems so angry.
thatssoatheist
Calling everybody you meet "mate".
SmiffyBoi
This applies mainly to London...
radioFREEmadras
Isn't that Australian?
TheLordLucifersBannedAccount02
Yeah, nah mate, ya cunt.
FuckTheUSCjrShamecocks
Eh fook you say mate?
AlexImguram
Depends where in Britain. Alternatives include pal, son (male), hen (female) and wanker.
ThisIsTheEighthUsernameIveTried
Because you can't remember their name and don't want to seem rude by having to ask.
SKELETONMAAAN
Oh god the second one... fuck your fucking American measurements, I hate your stupid "cup" bullshit. Fuck your recipies, goddammit.
kittenkisses
Would you like me to send you some American measuring cups? I would do that for you.
SKELETONMAAAN
Heh that's nice of you! I can buy them online too, though. They sell those in Europe. I just don't have the money right now.
kittenkisses
Pm me your mailing address and I will send you a set.
SKELETONMAAAN
That's really nice of you but I have to decline. Oversea shipping costs are so high, I wouldn't want that. Thank you very much for the offer
kittenkisses
I understand, I would probably decline too. Let me know if you ever change your mind!
Thegreenbastardpartsunknown
1 cup = roughly 1 decent sized handful. also, half a pint. also, 236.5882365 millilitres, if you want to be a communist about it.
KZDM
I'm confused, isn't a cup just 250ml?
SKELETONMAAAN
We use weight for this stuff, not ml. I think it's around 235 ml.
JCBeastie
No, it's 2 gills.
3142
I had my teeth whitened and only afterwards did the technician tell me I have to go 24 hours without tea.
CultureVulture
I'm so so sorry
YesIChangedMyNameAgain
So, I'm assuming you didn't follow orders or you wouldn't be alive to post this.
raychello
I know I would be :p
SeanAker
...Richard Hammond, is that you?
ownowbrowncow
Went to comment this. You beat me to it +6
FlesHBoX
Every damn time!
raychello
Jesus Christ that's difficult. I have around 10 cups of Yorkshire tea per day
GuardsmanMiku
you got your teeth whitened and you claim to be british? Bah!
starshroom108
Oh my god, are you okay?
ThatsWhatISaidISaidBootyTraps
Did you live??
PhoenixQueenAzula
Insert British dental joke
FlesHBoX
Hamster?
cooplander
designmajor
OMG I'm so sorry. I'm not even British and I'd wanna die without my tea.
JCrashB
Hampster problems.
AnybodyOutThere
You probably could have gotten away with green tea.
baronridiculous
"Hours"? What's that in centidays?
freebodydiagram
100
mrderek
100 centidays
m15p02h
how long did you last without giving in?
[deleted]
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valpestilence
TIL Im British. BRB going to question my parents to see if im adopted.
MrTurtleWrangler
24 hours without tea? You're an inspiration to all us Brits around the tiny island my good sir, to you! *raises teacup*
Chiefer
Why were you in a bad mood?
NinjaNunDevil
Caffeine withdrawal? I get the same way without coffee.
[deleted]
[deleted]
Chiefer
But I suppose more than one person can get their teeth whitened.. I suppose.
Chiefer
It is indeed. Don't misunderstand me, I love a cuppa as much as the next person. I meant because you replied instead of @3142.
MrFluffyPantsMan
What's a toasted tea cake (my mom is addicted to tea and I wanna surprise her with a gift) (being legit though)
m15p02h
Recipe - http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/spiced_teacakes_29429
MrFluffyPantsMan
thanks fam
Imbabala
They're like raisin bun things served toasted with butter (and tea of course) - you can probably look up a recipe online :)
MyOtherAccountIsCreative
That looks like an English muffin. America says English muffin, I guess.
mcgravin
As an American, I love having a pocketful of dollar coins. It makes me feel like a pirate paying for everything in doubloons.
BreadyStinellis
And here I am just thinking how fucking heavy my purse would be if we used dollar coins regularly. I'm so glad we use paper.
Tamaska
As a Canadian: everyone has pockets of dollar and 2 dollar coins here
talenphillips
You need to use a coin pouch tied to your belt.
DezTurkish
Where the hell do you shop that you have pockets full of dollar coins.
Diezen
Usually the train ticket booths around here gives all the change in dollar coins, I've paid for an $11 ticket with a 20 and got coins.
DezTurkish
That is so cool...
mcgravin
I get them from the bank, along with all my $2 bills.
DoaBrago
Was on vacation in the UK a few months back and TRUST ME you dont dont want to carry a bunch of £1 coins.
CamberwickBlue
Go out for a night's drinking with a score in notes, wake up the next day with forty quid in coins...
m15p02h
we're all very sorry
SecludedGhost
I got coins, that jingle jangle jingle~♫
NukerNoah
♪~Jingle Jangle~♪
CarlosPerfectHair
That's why wallets exist...
moreissuesthanplayboy
As a Brit, I fucking hate queue jumpers, there is a firing pit in hell reserved for those people. Just wait like everyone bastarding else!
AgentTempest
Whatever you do, do not move to France. The fuckers here cannot understand queuing and it may be the thing I hate most about living here
Dawnstempest
It's a special hell, one reserved for child molesters and people who talk in the theater.
rasmis
Surely there should be a queue for the pits.
moreissuesthanplayboy
That could be the hell.. Eternal queueing
rasmis
Exactly! The fire pits may be the coolest place, so standing in queue for them would be fitting for the queue jumpers.
Mrfrenchmat
The most British thing about this is thinking that Marmite can become even worse than it already is
Airra
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=am6fco14Gi0
VaginaPedant
+1 Wifey and spawn insist Marmite is "drippings from Satan's anus after he's feasted on puréed kittens and babies." Mmmm. I love the stuff.
geeNICK
+1 for "spawn"
m15p02h
+1 it is truly disgusting
TheLordLucifersBannedAccount02
Maybe you should try the superior vegemite.
genejeannie
Marmite, sweeter than Vegemite.
rbudrick
As an American, wtf is marmite?
stoffo
The most decisive argument when you need to show anyone why British cuisine is a fucking disaster. Yeast spread, looks&tastes like solid oil
CrocodileTears19
Is it..is it like Vegemite?
hivvy
Yes, but for plebs
SlutAtNight
As a Canadian: Yes to most of these too sorry, eh?
pitpeaches
As a Canadian living in the uk: they say never say sorry. They barge into you. Take up the while pavement/sidewalk so you walk in the road
SlutAtNight
I know, I've been there. Also, in the Netherlands, they'll cut in line if you don't watch them
chewdup
Especially #6
SlutAtNight
All the sorries!
CanadianGooose
I threw the my scarf over my shoulder and the end gently hit someone in the face. They apologized to me.
SlutAtNight
Ah....Canada
Plusheen
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
SlutAtNight
The colonized apple?
Plusheen
Indeed! I like you :)
SlutAtNight
I like you too:)
Jeststar
I was gonna say I guess I'm British.
SlutAtNight
I'm Ron Burgundy?
IMakeLotsOfReferencesAndRemakes
As an American I laugh at #10 I get out of my car and confront them. It's often entitled Army assholes.
SlutAtNight
Well, that escalated quickly
IMakeLotsOfReferencesAndRemakes
When you live next to a military base it happens a lot. Even other soldiers tire of their (and their wives') bullshit.
[deleted]
[deleted]
SlutAtNight
Or timbits....
Bertholomew
Or asking for maple syrup and getting table syrup instead.
InvadingYourSpaces
Where is there a Timmies that puts margarine on things? That's scary.
LetsGetDownToBusinessToDefeatTheHuns
I accidentally hit someone with a football while throwing it around the other day. They apologized to me about it.
SlutAtNight
Haha Oh, Canada!
Sasstiel
Someone tripped over me today and I apologized.
witsd
It's a latitude thing. Unless you are one of the nutters who lives further north.
SlutAtNight
Well, I live at about the 52 parallel....am I a nutter?
sixfoothobbit
almost the same as me in London... I thought we were much further south than Canada...
SlutAtNight
Is that right? That IS surprising. And Canada starts at the 49th
sixfoothobbit
UK starts at 50
witsd
I'm 53¼, so I think you're okay.
SlutAtNight
You're nuttier than I am then :P
witsd
I only just moved up here from 51½. Send help.
nelshai
I'm 60.5. You're all soft soothmoothers. But that's ok; most people are. <3
witsd
I'll start knitting you some mittens.
Batmeh
The most british thing about this post is assuming that everything brits do is a brit-only thing.
[deleted]
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DezTurkish
That's a big generalization. There are both incredibly ignorant and highly aware people in both countries. Depends on who you meet.
fuckweaselry
Especially the £10 & £1 thing. Y'all have obviously never been to a Taco Bell at 2am in the suburbs...
DarkUranium
...in the United States with British currency.
fuckweaselry
Tried to avoid criticisms for using $$ instead of £... Failed miserably...
DarkUranium
I typically just use the names: "USD", "EUR" or "GBP".
fuckweaselry
Dually noted. Lol thanks!!
jumperforce
As an american I can relate to about half of these, so yeah
OiFuckface
I lived in the UK for a bit and they did this shit constantly. 'lol im so british', nope you're just a person
jrau18
Yep. If they speak English, odds are, they do this shit. US, Canada, UK, Australia, etc. If they don't speak English, they still do it, 1/2
jrau18
we just don't have to listen to that shit. 2/2
saltedlemons
Almost everyone has experienced #1 in some form. Not necessarily butter and marmite, but something similar.
lyricallove
Peanut butter and jelly
sidfromtoystory
although i do think that some are particular to brits, for example
DezTurkish
Not really. I say this now and got it from family and friends growing up in the states.
bakeyyy
I think it shows how neurotic people are rather than anything interesting. Especially the one about change... other countries have money too
SioulSeRef
quite so
sidfromtoystory
we're a bit too overly aware of ourselves
wiggainparis
Irish too!
wiggainparis
Irish too!
Kyphe
That is the one thing Brits never do! most of what we do is done in Canada and Ireland and even India. Exclusivity is an unsound assumption
uchronia
Know how teacup poodles are still poodles, but nobody treats them like real dogs? Get that small-dog, fwuffy-wuffy bitey-witey disease...
Teelitisti
I'd assume #2 applies to everyone outside the US when browsing English language recipes.
jrau18
Bitch, that applies to people IN the US as well. Fuck those illogical fucking measurements.
Teelitisti
At least you're sold measuring cups that measure a cup and butter in sticks of 1/2 cup(?). Who the fuck measures solid butter by volume?
jrau18
I still have to deal with solid butter being measured by volume...
mrlemonofbanana
I honestly like using cups. It's way easier and more convenient. If the recipe is in cups, that is. Same unit for solid/liquid, yes please.
Teelitisti
I'm fine with cups on liquids and powders, but solid butter can't be measured in a cup and chocolate isn't sold by volume. 1/2
Teelitisti
I can convert between desilitres and cups in my head, but cups and grams don't mix well. 2/2
mrlemonofbanana
I hadn't thought of those (I only though of powders when I said solid). Yeah, those are nice in grams. The butter here even has 50g marks.
ReyMeansKing
I pictured Hugh Grant doing all of these things, apparently he is your national representative in my mind. Who would be the American rep?
ItsOnlyMilky
Tobuscus. I have No idea why, that's just how I imagine American people.
l3xth353x
This man:
ReyMeansKing
Sounds about right.
ThisIsTheEighthUsernameIveTried
The problem with America is you have too many stereotypes to choose from.
CarlosPerfectHair
Oh Lawd, my first thought was G.W.Bush. I'm sorry.
TheLordLucifersBannedAccount02
John Candy
MissDi
Honey boo boo's mum
ReyMeansKing
Ouch. I'm moving.
sidfromtoystory
ray romano
bigfatnick
i tend to think of those people a hybrid of all the people John Oliver comments on. Sorry.
BlindyBlindMansSonnySon
Eddie murphy
Drpurrpurrpurr
Serious question: Does England have strip clubs? How do you tip them, do you throw coins at them? That sounds dangerous.
ginandtonicisanacquiredtaste
In Canada we toss dollar coins and twoonies on to the stage.
Danny41294
I had a girl come around with a plastic cup collecting pound coins in the last strip club I went to. No joke.
Deights13
THE NORTH
NarcanAnomaly
Make it hail
Vedar
We don't give tips for most things.
JustAthena
As a Brit, no we don't have strip clubs. We have burlesque shows.
ThisIsTheEighthUsernameIveTried
We don't tip like Americans, throwing money at anything that moves. If you want a lap dance, you pay them. If you don't, you don't pay them.
Drpurrpurrpurr
You don't tip pole dancers? Wow.
suddenlyrelevant
With a tenner at the end. Or a fiver if you're cheap. My mate was tipped 2x £50 notes once. But she has legs for years.
Dawnstempest
So did they insure them for the decade?
suddenlyrelevant
I think I missed the joke.
ThisIsTheEighthUsernameIveTried
You can tip them, you just do it in one big tip at the end instead of slowly handing them a stack of singles.
JustAthena
Mostly cause we don't have £1 notes and tucking a pound coin into a bra or thong is difficult and risky.
ThisIsTheEighthUsernameIveTried
Mostly because tipping is for people who provide a service above and beyond what their employer is already paying them for.
TheRadbeard
We british don't really tip at all. I heard that tipping in America is compulsory in places, but am I just making facts up?
StillNotYouTube
Usually only if you go to a restaurant with a large group. Otherwise, it is almost always optional, but many people feel it is required...
StillNotYouTube
...because for people in these professions, tips are a majority of their income.
Drpurrpurrpurr
Generally tipping is always done for service workers. Pole dancers commonly get bills tucked in their g-strings.
Framperton
I've heard and seen people just putting money directly on the stage in front of them. Bouncers didn't like people toughing pole dancers.
FuckTheUSCjrShamecocks
It is. To the point where most waiters/waitresses make several $ below minimum wage because they rely on tips. Which is stupid imo.
CustardFaceKid
Hang on, "below minimum"? Genuinely confused here.
FuckTheUSCjrShamecocks
In the us minimum wage is universal like right around $8 , unlike the uk where I think the min. Is determined on age and job level, 1/2
FuckTheUSCjrShamecocks
Though im not entirely sure. But they get around this with servers because gratuity should put them over minimum wage. A lot of people 2/3
suddenlyrelevant
Tipping is 10% in the UK at a restaurant or the delivery guy. But only if super extra quality service. And buying bartender one for them.
Framperton
10% in a restaurant? What the hell,10% even a nice restaurant?
suddenlyrelevant
10% is the norm. We have fair wages here so tipping is just a kind gesture for very good service.
rasmis
I think americans are fairly unique in having low change in bills. I once put a 1 € coin in the slot of a female patron dancing on my table.
coffekid
( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉)
Drpurrpurrpurr
The slot?!
rasmis
Yes. I don't think I'm allowed to post a visual representation on this site. But think of a plumber.
Drpurrpurrpurr
Ok, this little exchange we've had has me cracking up. It will probably be the highlight of my day.
Framperton
What a dismal day.
AwkwardPrickle
Yep. Pay to get in. Then just watch and buy drinks. Pay extra if you want a private dance
Framperton
you don't put money down for the pole dancers? I've been to once strip club total, but I have learned on reddit that not doing so is rude.
AwkwardPrickle
No, you just pay for private dances. You just sit and watch the pole dancers in complete awe! I went to a few in OZ and they work the same.
AwkwardPrickle
Making it rain is unfortunately not a thing here. But our smallest bills are £5 so would be super expensive rain haha
Framperton
Oh LOL. That makes sense then.
BlueAardvark
That last one. Its even worse when they put UK at the top and I scroll all the way to U
80percentlegs
Happens to US too - Superpower problems, taking 1st world problems to another level
TheLimpinBiscuit
Same thing goes for United States. I just press the U key to get there faster.
romkyns
Lies! The US is always the top country in such lists, and invariably preselected.
TheLimpinBiscuit
Not every list. I've encountered several websites that were not so thoughtful.
SmiffyBoi
You always hope it will be "England", the closest to A. but it never is. After a never-ending scroll you finally reach "United Kingdom"
iamazerrad
You never hope it's England
Drewscifer
As an someone from the United States this happens all too often
TomatoKetchupForPrimeMinister
Or you have to choose England but you're from Scotland/Northern Ireland/Wales.
BlueAardvark
And its all so bloody true
inaplasticcup
It's this sort of shit that makes me want to move to Afghanistan.
thatmanmoe
I loved the post but the "Kingdon" in the last one bothered me. I have issues.
laufox
Great...i missed that at first...now i see it and won't sleep :p
procrasturbation
MARMITE
yourfavnate
In the United States it's different. We're arrogant enough that we just expect USA at the top of an alphabetical list. And it is.
icecoldrave
Or when you scroll to U for UK, then Back to G to look for Great Britain, and finally find they want you define yourself as English
rasmis
When it says “GB”, the northern irish doesn't even have an option.
LongtimeLurker148
Yes
rasmis
?
LongtimeLurker148
I mean "yes" so true, so sad. The other person was not me haha
TomatoKetchupForPrimeMinister
Northern Ireland is part of the UK, but not GB
rasmis
That's what I said. Your “yes” could be read as “yes they do”.
SomeDetroitGuy
I love when Brits brag about using the metric system even though they still measure beer in pints, distance in miles, weight in stones.
doughnutty
Canada has this problem too. Height, weight, and cooking imperial but everything else metric
TheGodChemical
It's because we don't want our elderly to get confused.
dmf81
And you cant forget measuring our feet in Barleycorns
ShartMastr
Brits measure distance in miles?
bakeyyy
I've never heard anyone brag about it - we're the only country managing to be almost as archaic as the US...
DeafMangoes
That doesn't even touch the bizarre beer/ale measurements we use. Firkins, hogsheads... Did you know 'barrel' is a unit, not just generic?
StTriniansHeadBoy
Measuring weight in stones is exactly the same as measuring weight in pounds. 1st = 14lbs. Using lbs but not st is like (1/2)
StTriniansHeadBoy
(2/2) using megabytes but not Gigabytes and terabytes.
Thegreenbastardpartsunknown
yeah, but, you see, the actual amount breakdowns for those make fuck all sense too.
ratammer
I'm British and I've only ever heard people complain about the metric system, not brag about it! And no-one uses it in everyday speech.
Tdrendal
I agree it would be much better for me to say i don't know why I'm hungover i only nipped out for a couple of litres
hoopyhoop
Their pints are much better than the inferior American kind.
oceanskysforever
My grampa says the metric people was made for people who can't do math.
HackerJacker
Who the fuck brags about the metric system? What kind of brits do you know?
NotSureWhatUsernameToUse
we also measure ingredients for recipes in pounds and ounces, rather than cups, some scales also have Kg/grammes
Kyphe
No Brit in history brags about a french system! we simply accept the price of being in the EU to get cheap beer is using it now and then!
WhyNot576
Wonder if those wanting full metric will be happy with 68ml off each glass of beer.
WhyNot576
Think is unless youre doing calculations it's irrelevant as the units you know are those you're brought up with, meaning either makes sense
holymopandbucket
Yeah I was wondering about that.. my English boss always says miles instead of km.
GrandMagusRubick
I use the metric system for distance and weight, it's just the millions of older people in our country that might persuade you otherwise.
slagath0r
lord, thank you i think about this all the time
pandrer
Being a Brit still in school everything that is taught is taught in the metric system I have no idea what a stone is
SomeDetroitGuy
In the US, we only teach the metric system in school. I honestly had no idea how many teaspoons in a tablespoon until my 30s.
pandrer
Being a Brit still in school everything that is taught is fought in metric other than mph but kph is used more often in maths equations
chimera388
Gas? Imperial gallons :/
SarcasticBritishPerson
We tried swapping metrics and ended up using all. I don't see a problem with that. It really isn't hard to convert between units.
Thegreenbastardpartsunknown
I agree with you, but it can be a royal pain in the arse when your physics professor puts every conceivable unit in a problem just to be a
Thegreenbastardpartsunknown
dick
dizzle1010
And their money in pounds..sorry bad joke
upsidedownyhead
Only in common parlance. Any serious calculations are much better with metric.
weeman5872
Do people really pluralise stone?
Thegreenbastardpartsunknown
the plural of stone is "stone". I weigh about 16 stone.
weeman5872
Sorry, what I meant was people adding S to the pluralised word (I way 16 stones).
seriouslynicesausages
I can see why "I'll have a 568ml of IPA, please" never took off to be honest
andysniper
and our feet in barleycorns.
fauxglove
What can we use to measure weight with, boys? I dunno, what we got a lot of? ......I know, rocks! Genius.
blobenterprises
Weight in Newtons
Kormath
Considering 95% of the world is using metric I find it hilarious when people try to point out some kind of minor inconsistency.
eggmuffin
If you're going to be archaic, you could at least be consistently so. Use Stadium and Ligula and uncia. Hang on, you fuckers do use uncia.
TheHappyHusky
I love when Americans brag about freedom even though they still oppress anyone who isn't a white middle class male.
giveittomestraightlikeapearcidermadefrom100percentpears
Not that strange... We only went metric relatively recently and ordering 568.261485ml of beer sounds downright stupid!
SomeDetroitGuy
Why not a half liter? Is the extra 70 ml really that critical?
giveittomestraightlikeapearcidermadefrom100percentpears
In beer terms, that's CRITICAL! I won't be robbed of my 68.261ml of precious beer. Because of European Union bureaucrats!
skelekittycat
So do Americans ask for half a liter of beer? Like how do you order? I can't picture not asking for a pint or a half-pint, beer wise
SomeDetroitGuy
They generally go with "small" or "tall". Irish or English themed pubs will do half pint, pint, though. Liquor and wine is sold in liters.
[deleted]
[deleted]
SquirrelButt
Broadwater Farm riots, Brixton riots, Tottenham riots? All because of police killing black people
chicmagnetwampa1
Yeah well, your cops wear silly hats... so... in your face
szepasszony
But that also means they can do this: http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/2cxu8l/whats_under_the_helmet/
AlexImguram
Do we brag about using the metric system?
ArtMadeofYourComment
Insufrably, yes.
Memari
I don't think we do. If anything, Americans seem to brag about not using it.
BeardKhan
And drive in the wrong fucking side of the road.
giveittomestraightlikeapearcidermadefrom100percentpears
Its supposed to have gone back to when there were highwaymen, you pulled over to the left, leaving your right hand for your sword or gun
GreavesKo
Excuse me sir but we drive on the correct side of the road.
BeardKhan
Whats so hard about simple traffic rules? You advance through the right! Its easy!
GreavesKo
I don't even understand what that means and I am a competent driver. Advancing through the right? Do you mean overtaking?
ThisIsTheEighthUsernameIveTried
We drive on the right side, the left side.
rasmis
Yes. It's much easier to mount your horse that way!
khora
Well, it's not right.
Thegreenbastardpartsunknown
GreavesKo
But it is correct
Mycologics
I live in the Netherlands. And the cups thing is merely a mild nuisance. Luckily there are apps for that. Plus we use kilos for weight
swizec
Protip: a cup is a standardized measure and is exactly about 240ml.
IamRevyn
Ahh kilos the universal drug measurement
Mycologics
Damn. If you get your drugs by the kg you're doing quite well.. usually it's just in grams.
Thegreenbastardpartsunknown
except for weed, which is still in ounces sometimes. this is also the reason several shady looking kids in my highschool math class 1/2
Mycologics
We just use grams.
Thegreenbastardpartsunknown
Could convert ounces to grams better than the teacher. 2/2
ThePrettyGoodGatsby
As a Canadian, I have no issues using cups and ounces as measurement for cooking. It's really not that hard.
RedroverRedrover
It's hard if your measuring utensils aren't in those units, though.
SomeDetroitGuy
As an American - I fucking hate it because I can't remember tsp/tbsp/cups/oz conversions. It's horrible.
THEREAINTNOWEEPININTHISHOME
And Euro kitchens I cooked in all used Imperial, mostly due to standards set by people like Julia Child.
khora
No, you just take 28.34 grams for each ounce.
ThePrettyGoodGatsby
I've got a food scale for if it's a weight measurement and the measuring cups for volume. Both have metric and imperial measurements.
khora
I wonder if there is a google translate for recipes.
RadishIsAMeat
You can't go up to a bar and say "I want 568ml of X Brand beer please". You just ask for a pint.
alugastiz
As a barman, I just pretend half a litre is a metric pint
ErogenousEnigma
I thought the size was already determined like why would you say the size to the bartender at all instead of just "I'd like a beer."
RadishIsAMeat
Because you can have a half, a pint or a bottled beer. If you just ask for a beer they will have to follow it up with a question.
ErogenousEnigma
Oh, I did not know, I appreciate the polite response.
ArtMadeofYourComment
You especially wouldn't ask for 568ml because a pint is only 473ml...
oZsh1rts
Maybe in the US it is, but http://www.metric-conversions.org/volume/uk-pints-to-liters.htm?val=1 in the UK it's 568ml dude
icantbelieveijoined
But you could ask for a hogshead
ByThePowerOfSCIENCE
Of course, you'd ask for half a litre - assuming that pub patrons and owners will ever care to change.
ChloeRed
Pubs would love that. They'd charge the same for the pint as the smaller half litre, of course..
ChloeRed
Or more to the point, would charge the same for the smaller half litre as they used to charge for the larger pint. ;)
ByThePowerOfSCIENCE
Or they're legally required to serve 568 ml and everyone either keeps calling it "pint" out of custom or go with "half litre" for brevity.
witsd
We only use imperial measures for very specific things though. Feet and stone are for measuring people, and nothing else.
MandNBeers
Doesn't the military use it to occasionally?
witsd
Pints are for beer and milk, although even milk is being sold in litres these days. We are getting there.
StonedLikeACheatingMuslimWoman
Why not just do 500 ml and be done with it?
witsd
Because that's not enough beer?
StonedLikeACheatingMuslimWoman
That...that's more than a pint though...
denten
...because that makes MORE sense
witsd
Change takes time. And no-one wants to order 568ml of beer.
baronridiculous
Oh, well that makes total sense. BTW, I have to run out and buy six granks of carrots. "Grank" is a measure of carrot. Grank. Yep.
witsd
A measure you just made up, or a real thing? If the latter, I will probably start using it.
baronridiculous
A grank is traditionally 1/3pi stone. A metric grank is half a kilo. Only used for carrots, though. :)
witsd
Google says you are full of lies. And probably vitamin A.
TheGhostofElizabethShue
Also tellies.
witsd
Huh? Oh, you mean that screensize is always in inches? That's true.
ratammer
I'm British and I'm wondering where you're from. I don't know anyone who uses metric in everyday speech.
witsd
Mainly London. I don't ALWAYS use metric, but for most things I certainly do.
doubleponytogo
Do you seriously use "stones" to measure people's weight? I thought it was a joke. Come on, bananas are a much more reliable unit of measure
witsd
1 stone is 14 pounds. I find it much easier to use to estimate my weight than by 1xx pounds. *shrug*
zeshoopuf
Well where's the fucking point in that? Just use one system for everything, at least. =D
witsd
Change doesn't happen overnight. We are moving towards metric, but at a reasonable pace. That said, metric for beer is going to be tough.
zeshoopuf
500 ml, there. That's almost a pint. Half a liter of glorious beer.
witsd
NOT ENOUGH BEER. Seriously though, do you think the price would actually come down by 12% if the amount was?
whyexactly
That makes it even worse
witsd
Nah, it's just a symptom of being part-way through changing over. It'll take another generation or to to get there.
zeshoopuf
Well where's the fucking point in that? Just use one system for everything, at least. =D
HackerJacker
We use miles and yards for distances in most casts.
mritty
You understand that makes even *less* sense, right?
witsd
Not when you consider that we are part-way through the transition. It'll take a while before people can let-go of the old system.
TheLordLucifersBannedAccount02
And my penis.
witsd
I don't think we should use your penis to measure people. IT's going to cause riots, one way or another.
TheLordLucifersBannedAccount02
I wonder how tall I am in penis's.
TheLordLucifersBannedAccount02
I am 12.5 penis's.
witsd
I think that should be your primary chat-up line now. It'll get rid of both the illiterate and the judgemental.
penguing
"Stone" is an absolutely ridiculous unit of measurement
someswedishgirl
Because the other imperial measurements are super useful *rolls eyes*
m15p02h
correct ]
prettihatemachine
thank you!
baronridiculous
Well, to be fair, they're moving to the metric stone, anyway.
bearstrike
The boulder would disagree
SamuthNBS
It's 14 pounds. How is that ridiculous?
rainb0w0range
Barrel for oil or karat for gold are some other examples of stupid special units, only in use because mankind is to lazy to change.
xxcarlodiaboloxx
grains for bullets and powder...
upsidedownyhead
Nah, I find it an oddly suitable unit for comparisons, etc, like using feet for describing rough dimensions. Metric is better for maths...
monkeybrain17
amen
rasmis
I use st on imgur, when I need to shorten a comment. A modern application for an old ligature.
Rhase
"Bucket" is apparently a legit measurement in the milk industry.
Thegreenbastardpartsunknown
No it isn't. It's mostly measured by the hundredweight, although I have no particular concept of how much that is.
Rhase
Must depend on the region, because where my friend works it's legit.
Thegreenbastardpartsunknown
A bucket is just half a bushel, or 2 gallons (US). I just don't see why anyone would use that. The milk truck pays by the Hundredweight.
waitbutactually
How much is a bucket?
Rhase
He told me a number, I forgot. :| It's not an even number of gallons, though.
Wakborder517
Approximately 1 Bucket.
TheRuxinLooksLikeAMiddleAgedLesbians
Two half-buckets
slightlybored
Keeps the weight down, 13st sounds a lot lighter than 82.5kgs, or 182lbs, easier to say too.
LeadByBadExample
For some reason I always think of 1 stone as being around 20kg, so to me it doesn't sound lighter initially.
JediKnight
That's quite a bit more than a true stone. It's about 6kg.
LeadByBadExample
I know. I just always think ~20 at first.
wolfenbones
thirteenst?
slightlybored
13 stone, 82.5 kilogrammes, 182 pounds :)
rasmis
Apple says 82,8 kg. Wikipedia 82,56 kg.
Beelsebooob
Actually, it's pretty good for measuring human weight. That said, I'd still rather use kilos.
ImVeronicaCorningstone
It doesn't seem as significant though. To say I lost 5lbs feels better than 1/3 (?) of a stone!
Beelsebooob
Except in the UK we measure weight with stone and lb, a stone is 14lb. So you'd still say "I lost 5lb".
skinbin
We'd say 5lbs in this instance. We use lbs and stone (12st 3lb instead of 12.25st for example).
HackerJacker
Psst 5lbs is more than 1/3 stone
wereallwatersteve
The ensuing panic attack when go to buy something for a pound with a 20.
Treblaine
And they hold up the note to the light to see the watermark, draw arcane marks on it with a pen labelled "MONEY TESTER"...
Notacarboncopy
Also American, and I totally get it. Then again ive been a cashier so that may have some influence
tomyironmane
Unfortunately, so was I. seeing a customer do that was one of the signs I read as "This person is intelligent and may be reasonable.
giveittomestraightlikeapearcidermadefrom100percentpears
JESUS! That reminds me of a friend who wanted to borrow 30p because he didn't want to break a £20... And then a week later he complained>
giveittomestraightlikeapearcidermadefrom100percentpears
at how tight i am, and that HE didn't have any money! Cheeky bastard!!!
WolfcubEllie
"Sorry I only have a twenty" everytime
DavidMakalaster
My reaction on getting a €50 from an ATM when on holiday was something like "How the fuck am I supposed to spend this?"
spnlock24601
I always find myself apologising when that happens
AndrewTheCyborg
My friend tried to buy some skittles with a £20 note today.
raychello
I had no change, got a 20 and had to get the bus. Then got shouted at for not having change. I said sorry when inside I said "FUCK YOU"
halosk8ingking
well then pay with a 20 note and an extra pound to get a 20 back . . . oh . . . wait . . shit
graymalkin
"I'm very sorry, I'm afraid I don't have better change"
aegiskay
"Sorry, I haven't got anything smaller" comes to mind. Then again it can refer to many things.
TimTamFlimFlam
Don't worry pal. Here, I've had a ton of people pay for a $1.75 coffee with a $100. I don't get it, but 20 isn't really all that bad.
illestdee
I don't get this at all. I like having change - it's useful and means I have a variety of denominations for different purchases. Practical
enigma1235
I once bought something for £3.75 and paid with a £50 note.
PhilipTheSpaceNazi
I'm American. Once I had to pay for a $5 item with a $50 bill. Cashier's look said it all: "You're an asshole do ya know that?"
bakeyyy
Came back from months away just after Ldn buses became oyster-only. Got on one from my station with only cash... had to walk home.
SmiffyBoi
I forgot my oyster once, tried to get on the bus, remembered they were oyster-only, walked home in the rain.
bakeyyy
It's good 95% of the time when it saves everyone a few minutes. Then that other time when you forget, it's the worst thing ever.
BatmanLannister
"I'm so sorry, I don't have anything smaller." "It's fine." "Thanks so much."
biscuits0
Haha was looking for this comment.
godsperfectidiot
What a fight!
distantdez
Every payday morning in the canteen!
CantYouSeeHesTheManLetMeHearYouApplaud
I had to pay for my £4 school lunch at one point with a £50. I felt so horrible.
SmiffyBoi
Usually when I hand over a £50 note (rarely) i just get death stares from the cashier and they start inspecting it assuming it's fake...
m15p02h
Just Eton things
cookiestothepeople
But why? Don't they have notes in your cafeteria? Seems like easy math if they've got twenties and fives.
TheGreatVindaloovianEmpire
Next level: paying with a Scottish 20 OOOOOHHHHHHH
TheGingerBeardedBiologist
"What kind of fake pounds are these?"
JohnC134
i live in scotland but my family is in england. i always try to use the last of my notes before visiting because ive been refused before :c
FineScottishGentleman
:c
aegiskay
THAT'S LEGAL TENDER YOU KNOW
MurdocMiki
I did it by accident.. very awkward lol
shannonmcn
I'll raise you a NORTHERN IRELAND NOTE it's still sterling you knobs!
thisnameistaken
English notes don't even say sterling on them
failtuna
THIS. I work in a shop, we have had the same NI £10 for a month now, no one will take it as change. A woman brought it back last week.
shannonmcn
Brought it BACK? Blatant Imperialism my friend ;)
failtuna
Yeah, she asked for me personally and said she'd been to three shops and they wouldn't take it. So I swapped it.
giveittomestraightlikeapearcidermadefrom100percentpears
And then, out comes the "thats legal tender" line. The one and only time anyone has ever used that line ever.
HaniiPuppy
It's not even legal tender in Scotland. All notes are promissory in Scotland and only coins are legal tender. Clydesdale, RBS, and HBoS ...
giveittomestraightlikeapearcidermadefrom100percentpears
Thats mental! I thought it came over here from Scots tricking the honest English folk into spending their foreign monopoly money.
HaniiPuppy
... are officially trusted banks though, so their promissory notes are accepted for settling debts to the gov.ment. (i.e. taxes, rent, etc.)
OhSquiggilyLine
I thought All notes work this way, even in England? "I promise to pay bearer the sum of £10 on demand" or some shit is on them
HaniiPuppy
They work that way in Scotland, Wales, and N. Ireland. In England, Bank-of-England promissory notes are actually legal tender.
MrBananaBeak
Murika here, wut?
DanAykroydFanClub
Trying to buy something for $1 with a $20 note
MrBananaBeak
I fail to see the problem.
SmiffyBoi
Not only is it an inconvenience to the cashier to waste all that change in their till, but you also end up carrying a pocket full of coins.
Snooj
I think it's because you get coinage back for the 1's instead of paper bills.
PenisDonaldTrump
Oh the horror!
JJtheSpaceGhost
Do you guys not have a 5 pound note or whats the deal? Why is it anxiety ridden to buy something for 20 pounds?
PossiblyAGriffin
If you get cash out from the cash machine... it doesn't usually have 5s. Only a few do. So if you need to get cash out,theres the problem
CaiteH91
£5 notes are magical. They literally disappear.
shannonmcn
As a former cashier I still get euphoric when I get £5 notes :D
buttermyarse
That's the worst thing, when someone moans at all the change because you have no fives.
LilyF
Yes there's 5 and 10. But if you only have a 20 and buy low value the cashier will sigh with annoyance as they count out all their change.
nothisisgod
but I don't understand, If he paid the £11 with a 20 and a one why wouldn't he get a ten in return? Your country doesn't make any damn sense
buttermyarse
He would! Or should! Its making fun of some cashiers not understanding the point of it.
nothisisgod
oh, I just thought y'all had some weird social shit that prevented that, just turns out the cashier was stupid.
jyetie
A ten, a five, and four ones? How is that difficult or annoying?
JJtheSpaceGhost
Muchos Gracias senorita!
ArcaneM37
But why? Counting change is literally their job. If someone in America has a $100 bill, it's not a hastle to count thier change.
RafiDdraig
Because all Brits have an inbuilt passive-aggressive module. If you live in a city, you get derisory looks, town, it's usually fine.
Kaysmira
As a cashier who complains a lot, I have never complained about this, unless I just opened and don't have enough to make change... damn.
BreadyStinellis
I've been told by people who have lived abroad that the US has the best customer service. I can't even imagine being mad over making change
NZsmartass
When a customer comes in at opening and tries to pay with a $100 note, that's when it's shitty. I've had to turn that down before (1/2)
ArcaneM37
Well if you literally do no0t have the money on hand, that is one thing, but surely that have enough to break a 20 in general.
NZsmartass
... because we didn't have enough change in the till, and that's when they miraculously find the $5 or $10 note in their pocket (2/2)
kingoflight
i remember only having a £10 note and getting on the bus .. fucking panic set its knowing you have the money ... but can you pay for it ...
ian9outof10
Contactless. Bitches.
DanAykroydFanClub
"Not the fucking bank of England mate"
raychello
Oh I've had that response. I say hello, smile and I get shot down to oblivion
ArcaneM37
I have taken the bus in many American cities, and you ALWAYS beed exact change.
BustyCrustacean
You pay in beads? That seems terribly old fashioned
IsPepsiOkay
Speak for yourself mate. Paying 3 red beads and 2 orange beads for a bus ticket is much simpler than your "currency".
404GravitassNotFound
£5 coin could also be good
kaikazu
i did that with a £20, the fucker had to check if it real...
punpunmaru
was a problem in london till they got rid of cash, just card now :3
causality
I might feel apprehension if I have to pay with a 50 or 100, but anything lower? Hell no. They have the change and you have legal tender.
kingoflight
Thats means diddly squat if they don't have change though.i know they do but its wasting their time. Also we have to pay for the service.1/2
causality
You seem to subject yourself to an enormous amount of mental anguish over something completely unimportant.
kingoflight
i know ....
kingoflight
They have no obligation to give you change. By law if you were to pay with a £50 they could give you £1 in change if thats all they had.
Malevolentia
Buses carry fucking loads of change. I got on with a £10 note to pay for a £1 ticket and the driver went "Seriously!?" and then pulled 1/2
shadow306k
I'm not that lucky, when I get on the early bus, if I don't pay the £1.60 of the ticket (I pay it along with a 5/10 note) I get glared at.
ThatCookieGuy
WHAT? We get no change here in America (Chicago, at least). I had to pay $10 for a $2 bus ride.
Malevolentia
2/2 out what was easily £200+ in various notes to find me a £5.
Rogahar
Our local buses dont' set out with change, to stop people trying to rob them - if there's no defined time when they WILL have money on >
Rogahar
board, then it's harder to judge when to try and nick it if you're planning to, and makes it not worth the effort/risk.
ender00000
When busses still accepted money, there was an exact change policy. Nowadays you can only pay with pre-paid contactless card or mobile phone
RafiDdraig
Where do you live?
ender00000
Ljubljana, Slovenia
sillyblackcat
In my city in UK there is no change policy in buses :( You need the exact amount :(
jackofalleves
in London you cant even pay with cash, its oyster card, contact-less credit card or a ticket from one of the nonexistent ticket vendors
rockiesmagicnumber
I was shocked you folks get change at all. Denver, CO, USA buses are Exact Change Only
coolbeanslooseit
Our buses don't take cash anymore. Either oyster or the tap debit card thingy
UCanLookButUCantTouch
We got that in Canada, Quebec. U can pay more tho if u dont have a quarter. Its 3.25$ right now. I remember when it was 1.75$ -_-
IsPepsiOkay
Edmontonion here, it's $3.20 here iirc
RafiDdraig
Jesus, what City is that? My county doesn't care, you just get looked at like you just insulted their entire extended family...
troggster
glasgow does it with first bus... but thats because of the drivers that got stabbed or robbed
sillyblackcat
Scotland, Aberdeen.
IsPepsiOkay
Policy is same in Canada, too. Source: I live in Edmonton, Alberta
katyastevens
Reading, Berkshire too. Some drivers are nice enough to help out with change from their own pocket though. London always had change.