etapixels
137478
4893
84
Though they're not very good with keeping candy.
Jan 22, 2020 12:39 PM
etapixels
137478
4893
84
Though they're not very good with keeping candy.
Yokuho
Wheres the joke?
ledfan90
You need Rick and Morty IQ to understand /s (I couldn’t find it either, waste of time)
BrisbaneHorrorGal
RatoMolhado
Shadowgloom13
The last one in particular.
Maultasche
Plinkunit
a bit less severe but blowing spit bubbles
zaazi
Super felony is definitely an expression to remember
rianstar
somethingsomethingusernamey
He's trying to decide if it's a felony or a superfelony, give him time.
Evilwing
I was hoping someone would crop this
Darzok
You could of gone with cop this why the dad joke was right there.
BrisbaneHorrorGal
Northeast7
Wow did the comment section get dark fast. So the 20s aren't going well?
jthearon
Super Felony: When a regular Felony just doesn't cut it
Techmite
Speaking
TheOnly24
Super felony, holy fuck
likifucrieverytim
Shoplift.
DuMoulinRouge
Does mace rhyme with face so you know where yo spray it?
KingOfTheAnarchists
Mace to the face is the helpful hardware, folks.
visijared
There should def be a level of offence called "superfelony"
Cranbananarama
Super Felony Man, awaaaaaay!
GatmastaSplat
I got high on acid and made friends with kids at the park cause they had toy dinosaurs and I still knew lots of dino facts.
VagisilToothpaste
Barf all over everything and have someone else clean it up for you.
Tarlon
SumerianCry
Is mental illness just being a baby?
AbdElRahmanTalaat
TheAlviss
Well isn't this fuckin adorable.
CaptainKipup
Playing with kids you don't know isn't a super felony :/ I hate that pedos have made any kind of contact with a child terrifying.
BarteNERDS
"You used to be able to play with kids, but now I see a kid? I put my arms in the air and yell, "Yo, get that thing the fuck away from me."
LocalZoophile
Right? Playing with other people's kids was a lot of fun when I was a kid, but adults don't wanna do the same childish stuff anymore.
LocalZoophile
And though I'm (according to mainstream views & law) sexually deviant and whatnot, and I'm not even into humans! It's very upsetting.
LocalZoophile
And don't even get me started on dogs. Nobody gives them the respect and attention they deserve.
NickRivieraMD
I hate it sometimes but sometimes it's great cuz I don't have to deal with anyone else's kids.
Jatopian
Paedos aren't the ones stirring up hysteria about paedos. That's the media and anyone who just hates men.
CaptainKipup
I mean, if there’s just one man eating crocodile in the river, I would be scared to swim too. It’s hard to turn off the fear, :/
override367
right? combined with the fact that strangers ALMOST NEVER are responsible for such crimes, but the media has people up in a tizzy
likifucrieverytim
A lot of pedos are family members unfortunately.
override367
yeah thats my point, so many parents are worried if an adult says hi to their kid that imminent kidnapping is afoot, but reaely its -
override367
virtually always someone the parents know well and trust
override367
when I grew up I interacted with lots of adults in a lot of ways that would probably get me screamed at or punched because children -
override367
must be kept protected and socially stunted
Mysfitt
Super Felony - new levels of crime
Cryolith
Sleep without any worries in the world.
MindRape
Cute
ForboJack
Gosh I miss that :(
Tavilen
Once you go dead inside and just stop caring, this gets easy again. I sleep like a log now!
Canoerar
'Cept for cot death!! Yaaay!
funtobehad
Believe it or not, kids start getting night terrors around 18 months and almost all of them have it. So, sadly, not even they are safe.
funtobehad
Source: dad of two and one just started this phase.
buttscratchergetyourbuttscratched
Straight to jail
HeroOfKvatch1
I’d say this hit too close to home, but I’d be lying. This was inside the damn house.
celestedrake
In the bed... Sleep is my worry though. Insomnia is rough.
pancakesplz
24 years off & on for me, entirely too familiar with this.
jherazob
Ow
Woestkonijn
Shitting your bed and expecting your parents to clean it up.
RoodKontjeAapje
Perfectly fine vs. you're now gonna get fired.
Goulache
As a fairly recent father, I can tell you babies do NOT "sleep like babies".
Cryolith
Parent of two. I understand quite well.
usernamemustbe4characterslonng
Parent of 3. “Sleeping like a baby” is a cruel lie.
IdUpvoteYouButYoureAt69
Fuck, take me back to that
HypnoChanger
Cute! | You forgot to set your alarm, missed work and got fired.
rossoSaturno
F E L O N Y
DecapitatedJizzWizard
Damnit Tsard again
RoodKontjeAapje
How I miss those days sometimes...
Creature224
Clown will eat me
mindipedia
God I miss that
darthstormer
Believe there is wonder and magic in the world.
bobbynixon
Dude, it’s all perspective. You’ll probably watch porn of the most beautiful women in the world on your future machine later for free
algoth00r
pancakesplz
TheSSMorgan2015
I've heard that shrooms can help with that
AaronPaulSturtevant
i so could use some of those
PrototypicalEcho
Idk man, WiFi is pretty magical and wonderful
geosynthetic
No magic, plenty of things to wonder and be in awe of if you're not a disinterested, jaded sadsack.
sandyman23
TheDarknessInTheHeartsOfMen
ShouldersDeepInAHorse
I mean, there is, but we suffer from over-fixation at everything bad going on because the media ropes us in with it, War, Disease, etc.
BenSnow97
I've completely locked out mainstream media about five years ago, and it's been awesome, can definitely recommend. If anything is >
BenSnow97
important enough, there will be memes about it anyway
ShouldersDeepInAHorse
In the case of this new CoronaVirus, I'm only going to check news headlines with actual quotes from actual doctors.
mastikator
Doesn't most of the adult humanity do that?
MechaTeddy
There absolutely is, though
YouL0stTheGame
Sucking your moms tits
BarDown89
Hahahahhaha
Pleksus420
RideTheStimutacs
Combined memes are the best memes.
SirSage
S U P E R F E L O N Y
UnhelpfulAnswers
Well maybe YOU can't do that to your mom. But the rest of us can do it to your mom just fine
DuckSuckingLips
Speak for yourself
JDtheAmazzzing
But I suck your moms tits all the time?
ProcolHarambe
chickenman702
Wait, adults aren't meant to do that?
NachoPete
pawningpanda
Wha?
controlsthepresent
Niiiice
warmNchewey
Depends on the state you live in?
middlehead
Not your mom's. Your step mom's.
usernametakenisthestoryofmylife
Poop your pants wherever you want.
DongSayaDae
If you cant now just wait a few years and you can.
btimup
Well that Depends
attofreak
well, there are fetish _groups_ for that. You are not alone ^_^
MissNikki84
Shhh the elite don't want us knowing that
godisdeadandnoonecares
Still can!
Dandyboi
Just wait till you're old enough, then you can do it again
etapixels
Dammit, why do I always forget about the poop
ZuIthar
Did you only have one cup?
greasyweiner
If this was spoken out of context..
vanelanjenkins
Old people do that all the time.
Saiphel
Joke's on you I still do that
ruferto
Felony
Elonth
Hey would you look at the time. Its cringe o'clock. https://youtu.be/GTomMm61Ixw
ShaveSteedlesmack
Not yet!
Elonth
nauh ye!
captapathy
Still not a crime!
hungrydutchman
Yet frowned upon
SophieClockwise
But not illegal.
hipifreq
Just a very awkward conversation
TheForbiddenSemicolon
It’s not that you can do that; it’s that you can make some one else clean it up afterward
Alfadorfox
There are fetish groups for that.
DocHerb87
#jealous
andsy
YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!!
elrick43
Cute/eh, probably someone's fetish
fluortanten
Speak for yourself
BrisbaneHorrorGal
StealthyRPG
you can actually defecate in the middle of your work place and as long as ur not exposing your private parts, u technically cannot be fired.
usernametakenisthestoryofmylife
"Steve, we're not happy with your performance. That whole pants-shitting thing we're totally ok with though. So pack your shit, your fired."
StealthyRPG
Legally u cant, defecating is covered under human rights. its the showing of privates which is illegal. so they have to write u up first
StealthyRPG
and write ups are legally removed after 6 months, so LEGALLY. u can shit on the floor at work. twice a year and not be fired.
TheForbiddenSemicolon
Scream and cry until you get the food you want.
Jalopenis
That still works
ComradeTrotsky
You met Karen's before?
Shikari13
Clearly you don’t work in the industry
Fuzzycat16
Every fastfood restaurant out there.......
NachoPete
Apparently girlfriends can do that.
celestedrake
Not in healthy relationships I think...
mastikator
What kinda children girls you dating? I'm calling the police
NachoPete
My wife won't let me date anyone so I only know of this from memes.
DeZaim