PiercedViking
60013
2097
30
Feb 13, 2025 12:31 AM
PiercedViking
60013
2097
30
bregil
Apologizing for hurting his fragile feelings is woke so by his logic you can't do that.
Rufferstuff
ElbowDeepInABlackhole
Fuck that, I don’t fuck with people who use terms like “woke” so I would just let it go, fuck it.
ontarioOT
I'm reminded of the meme about the guy being conservative bc he spilled beans on himself in a movie theater and people laughed at him.
LariCheltsy
chrisckelly
We are ALL thinking about thos Beans, Bill.
Navrodel
...I'm not fond of the assertion that anyone that's so easily fooled deserves to be taken for a ride like this.
On the other hand, "anti-woke" is the absolute dumbest brainrot to actually cause real-world harm, so I feel absolutely no guilt in advocating for abusing whatever flaw in the ignorance can be exploited to try to break it up.
sometimesarobot
Ah, beans
StarscreamAndHutch
Your cousin is a maga dork. You should not feel bad about it at all. You didnt go far enough. Once you found out his weokness, you should have played that card some more.
Columbus43219
There are guys like that who aren't wiping their ass after they shit, because it's gay to touch a man's butt.
verone3784
This is fucking incredible. I so want it to be real.
Starfox5
People complaining about woke are the assholes. No matter how you fuck with them, you're not the asshole.
jetact12
Dont apologise him. Apologies are so woke. It means you have a lot of feelings.... nah. If you love him, tell him you are sorry you hurt his feelings. Then ask if he heard about Lone Star Beer's new woke status?? You guys should dump it all in the Gulf of America.
TrinDiesel
I don't know man. Apologizing for pranking someone sounds pretty woke to me.
YoureWaifuAShit
direct link to the post https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ilz66t/aita_for_pretending_to_think_beans_in_chili_are/
Equitaur
Apologizing is woke, bro. Are you telling me to be woke?
Shiggityshaybae
This may be real. In fact, it probably is real.
However, i refuse to believe or accept it is.
Because I have been having a really nice day and I refuse to believe someone is that fucking stupid*
*I know that many people are. I just.... I had a good day. Let me have this.
PiercedViking
Shiggityshaybae
Thanks bro 🤙
ZaphodBbx
All I get out of this is that *somebody* missed the opportunity to use 'hill of beans' in their argument...which is a fucking shame.
PiercedViking
Is this the hill of beans you're gonna die on?
HillOfBeans
THANK YOU!
Whatdoyousaytoanicecupoftea
Here's looking at you, kid. /s
IamAlbertPotato
Whenever I hear someone use the term woke I just assume they're a dickhead
gman003
I have yet to find a situation in which the person obsessing over hating "woke shit" has *not* been the asshole. Maybe it can happen in laboratory conditions, but real-world, seems like a useful rule of thumb.
talinuva
There are many situations in which the person obsessing over 'woke' is not The asshole.
In all of those situations, however, that person is still An asshole.
dasklaus
Lab scientist here, no, no chance of it happening here.
jzbstl
Of course not. Science is notoriously woke. So are facts.
distractedFreek
Dude is absolutely not the asshole. His cousin is.
feliscorvus
Now I’m wondering about effects on actual asshole of bean chilli vs non bean chilli….
DysgraphicProgrammer
Cousin is an asshole. But there are greater assholes who put this nonsense in his head with anti-woke propaganda.
Apeofdeath
Are those anti fa beans?
angryjeep
No. They were Navy beans but then they got injured in desert storm and spend lots of time at the hospital plotting against the far right. They're AntiFaVA beans.
Apeofdeath
notmyrealface
What a fucking snowflake.
CoffeeZombie
I mean, it *is" true that chili did not originally have beans in it. It was a meat stew. There are plenty of folks to this day who refuse to even acknowledge a dish as chili if it has beans.
SalmonTheWise
Chilli without beans is just spicy Bolognese sauce.
LordofGoats
And beans are one of the "three sisters" crops grown by many of the native peoples of the Americas, and giving them any kind of credit is woke, so... BEANS IN CHILI IS WOKE.
aThingWithTheStufAndTheJunk
If people like that aren't using beef jerky to make their chili, they're fucking hypocrites.
ratchetasslombax
I wouldnt say hypocrites,jerky was used in stews if no fresh meat was available,but if a cow was injured theyd kill it and harvest it for the chuck wagon.So not really a required ingredient for chili so much as it worked when they didnt have fresh meat.Original chili was beef,lard,crushed chilis and salt pounded together and formed into bricks,then put into boiling water with flour or cornmeal when time to eat.
dudehiemer
Well, woke or not, Kidney Beans are illegal immigrants from Central and South America. I hope the OP of the OP lets his cousin know this.
TheMoonBnuuy
I don't think u/WokeBeans is the asshole here, no...
The asshole is the one who worries about perceived virtue more than whether the food is good or not. Like what the fuck. It's just a recipe, calm the fuck down. Who cares if hippies liked to eat beans or if scientists say beans are a better protein than meat... WHO CARES? Why does it even matter?
Telemapus
Yeah but come on, he made the man question his own chilli. 😂
FordyP
Too bad he questioned his chilli but not his reflexive hatred of the idea for empathy (which is all being "woke" really is - being aware of other people's struggles)
dingybasement350
It must be exhausting and incredibly miserable living like that. It seems like conservatives just bask in anger and misery.
OtterlyMagnificent
Honestly, I wish the 'perceived virtue' anti-woke people would start treating everything they interact with like that. If someone they think is/was woke, they shouldn't interact with anything produced through their labors.
...mostly because it would completely destroy the anti-woke movement when they discover that not only does the modern USA exist because of 'woke' behaviors, but that without 'woke' individuals like Alan Turing (gay, significant contributor to breaking the German war effort)1/
TheMoonBnuuy
You do realize that the anti-woke people would very much rather the Germans have won that war, right?
OtterlyMagnificent
...No I realize that. But I don't think they understand the consequences of Germany winning that war.
leodavinci1
It's because they really aren't all that smart. Also religion. I'd be willing to bet almost anything that the cousin was an evangelical "Christian".
Gaelwyn
Also known as a christofacist.
OtterlyMagnificent
or Henry Ford (Pro-fascism, but also created the 40 hour work week and early employee protections) or Elijah McCoy (Black man who revolutionized rail travel/transport with peanut oil based lubrication) or any of the other THOUSANDS of 'Woke' individuals whose creations brought us the modern world, who the anti-woke administrators are trying to write out of history.2/2
yikesaroni
humonious
The post is real https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/2NAh1BRCZF
RAJrios
I don't believe that was ever in question
Smuckerz
The most unbelievable part of this story is dude researching if beans are woke or not after being told it was a lie. I would be more inclined to believe it if they began declaring how smart they are because they watch fox news before reminding me of Dunning-Kruger.
LtRooney
There are legitimately people online who just compile lists of "woke" things for the dipshit community to be angry at and avoid. I wouldn't be that surprised if cousin here has a few of those bookmarked to let him know what he's supposed to be outraged about this week.
Snooj
Of all the things on the Internet that I doubt but wish was real, this ranks pretty high.
thelegendofthetwistednavigator
No one commenting that his meal is a Mexican dish?
He's upset that his "immigrant" food might be thought of as "woke"?
That's like getting upset that someone thinks your steak is "meaty"
Rhythmaster
It's all fucking dumb as shit but they've been conditioned to hate and fear anything that is woke, and now the talking heads can just label whatever they want as woke and the cultists will immediately hate and fear it. I dream of a world where human beings think for themselves instead of being manipulated so easily, but we are a long way from that...
TheBigBadBonerBiter
Funny as it is it's very likely made up. r/AITA is one of those subreddits that turned into an excuse for people to practice their creative writing.
raknor88
For a community that prides itself on doing their own "research" he's was damn quick to take someone at their word.
BEARD3DBEANIEE
Always has been
KingdomsCrown
They usually do take things at people's word when it aligns with their own beliefs
TheManWhoStaresAtTurtles
The essential irony of the conservative. Lionize a religion they share nothing in common with, preach from a book they've never read, decry the concept of science (as if it were a solid thing and not just a name for the process of scientific inquiry) while saying they do "research", prize independence while being in unified lockstep is basically the one major logistical advantage they hold as a political operation, etc.
Ignorance and hypocrisy is basically the mission statement.
Omnimorph2112
"you made me question my chilli" might be my new favourite sentence. I hear it in Rolf's voice from Ed, Edd & Eddy.
hawkeye2816
Are you casting aspersions on my asparagus?
admiralawesome4213
az ze son of a Shepard, you have BETRAYED THE BEANS, and made me question my chili, Ed Boy! BRING OUT ZE SLAP FISH!
Oatmealman1
Do not burn the candle at both ends for it leads to the life of a hairdresser
jejorda2
I don't know Ed Edd & Eddy well, so I'm imagining Rowlf from The Muppets with chili.
DigitalDruid255
You dare question the chili of a son of a shepherd?
JustBoone
He better bring the cupcakes of forgiveness or he's gonna get slapped with a fish.
keyserv
My chili, dude. MY FUCKING CHILI.
Jimmyb3121
That just made this whole thing SO much better
SedatedSl0th
THATS MY HORSE
FuzzyGingerian
Rolf had a mythical energy
TheSecondPiewackit
Under normal circumstances, I would be very against making a man question his chili. But in this case? Nah, fuck that guy.
sfrinlan
Nobody makes me question my own chili!
SilentTox
Which also means you hear it in gokus voice...I think. Same voice actor? I might be remembering wrong and not bothering to check.
FrenziiTheIMP
Yeh, he's also the offical VA for English dub Goku.
Ryebread91
For the ocean dub yeah. It's quite jarring to hear that voice again and how awkward the dialogue they chose was.
Greymalum
Spices are woke, sorry. Old settlers used dirt and stream water.
naught101
I mean, most of the good ones came from countries with lots of brown people, so I guess that checks out? /s
mothmam
Yeah chili spices came from Mexicans so doesn’t make them woke or DEI or something LOL
Doismellbacon
Coffee too... They should drink straight up chicory like the pioneers
Telemapus
Stream water is DEI. Stick to the ponds.
TheSecondPiewackit
Chili peppers are woke because they're shaped like dicks. Only chicks are into flavorful food. Goddamn libz.
eathotdog
Chilis are woke because they're Mexican
spontaneous9
Wait. You mean he uses PEPPERS in his chili? Oh man. Dude. Next thing you know he's gonna be voting Democrat.
rshini
You mean those MEXICAN spices, not good ol' American spices
SaveitforQueenDoppelpoppolus
PEPPERS is spelled kinda like PEEPEE which is a word for a dick so he's basically putting penises in his chili and that's pretty gay
spontaneous9
Right, not that there's anything WRONG with that.
Y'know, except it's WOKE.