Life has presented me a choice..

I'm listening to this on repeat as I work through my gender identity and what it means to me.

It's been quite the journey over these last 34 years and still I'm surprised by what I've learned.

I'm sick of being held back.

Sauce: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-tZ-5uVJ0k

I've been keeping a personal journal lately, and it's eye opening how much I have been pushing down to make others comfortable.

This music video has opened my eyes to how I see myself. I know it's just a "jumping off" point. But it's like it hugged my soul in a way physical touch never could.

To the people in the comments that can't or won't understand what I'm feeling right now, take a second to understand what it's like when you were not allowed to have a shred of your own identity growing up.

Then pause to feel what it would be like if that continued into adult life, with a partner that mocked and belittled you, similarly in the manner your mother did. I had no voice. No outlet that allowed me the room to breathe and it was suffocating.

But now that I'm finally free, it has left me with a feeling of much needed self discovery and desire for self expression.

It's done in the little moments. The way to fuel my soul and learn who I never was allowed to be earlier in life. I'm not going to apologize for it. There's no reason to. I should be allowed to live my truth.

I know it may seem weird or out of place, but it's keeping me from leaning into depression. I've been working through my trauma and facing things no human should have went through.

Life should make you want to celebrate. Not feel chained down, with a mask you don't want to wear.

As I'm writing this, I find myself crying. Truly expressing emotion that I should have been free to do growing up. I've been held back my entire life and I'm sick of it.

I'm using this Pride Month to sit with a lot, and work through it all.

There's never a reason to allow someone to keep a boot on your neck. Fight. Fucking fight with everything you have and never let that shit happen again.

To the ones still in the closet, I see you my friend. I was once where you are and I want you to know how beautiful and loved you are. Come out whenever you are ready. We'll be here with open arms and love.

To the others in the community out spewing hate and trying to remove the "T" from the LGBTQIA. You are doing what the bigots want. They're using YOU are fuel to add to the growing pyre.

Stop leaning into Hate and understand there are better, more beautiful things in this world.

Transgender people are sacred, in all walks of life. They walk a line that should be celebrated and respected. There is nothing to fear from them. All they wish to do is live their lives.

In what way does that hurt you?

Let us build a community that is born of love, warmth and genuine human connection.