I've struggled for a couple years with forgiving one guy.  This really spoke to me this morning.

Nov 25, 2016 6:24 PM

Starwelters

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Source: https://youtu.be/HclFjAn6BwQ?t=2m3s

FP Edit: You people are awesome.

Hey @OP, your post motivated me to reach out to my father after 13 years. Thanks.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

astonishing people even if you don't share their religious beliefs you can't deny their wisdom. I think they feel the same about each other

9 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

I think that's the most important thing to take away from these two men, bravo for understanding this Alma!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Forgiving doesn't mean keeping them in your life. It's just, not holding hatred in your heart and letting go.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I'll hold hatred in my heart until I find something better to fill the void removing it would create, thank you very much.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

These text animations are so distracting

9 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 2

The Dalai Lama is my guru

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Truth. I forgave my sister for breaking her promises, but I still remember that I cannot trust her.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

forgiveness is a sign of control over emotions and acceptance over events that can't be undone.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Some things cannot be forgiven.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I was cheated on multiple times by my ex, it took me a few years but i eventually forgave her. Aside from the end, we had a good time.

9 years ago | Likes 96 Dislikes 7

Forgiving someone for cheating is retarded

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 14

Holding a grudge gets you nowhere

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 2

Also, some people change...

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

lol bad move chum

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 33

And why's that?

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

Awesome! I did DivorceCare twice. Chapter 11 covers exactly this: forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgiveness is a choice you make.

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 3

I realized that we never would have worked long term anyway. We would have split regardless eventually. There was no more reason to be upset

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You should try to show compassion & empathy for others, forgive them if u can, but that doesn't mean u are obliged to keep them in your life

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I'm having a lot of trouble with this right now, cannot emphasize how much this helped. Thanks OP

9 years ago | Likes 181 Dislikes 4

Me too. Thank you, OP

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Cheers. It's as much for me as it is for you.

9 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 0

Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness by Frederic Luskin ... THIS is the stuff. no forget, yes to the rest oflife

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Today i realised you dont have to think about that thing that harmed you. Just plan something good.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 2

I wish it would. I wish I could forgive and move on, but you can't just stop feeling something that impacted your life so deeply

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

From what I learn, its about power. You just feed your own hatred, they might not even know you exist. Take control and move on.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You get angry with someone, do what aussies do, have a fight, best man wins, then go to the pub, loser buys the first round. Problem solved.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I have to disagree. I can't count the amount of times someone's humiliated me, physically hurt, or insulted me, then brushed it off as 1/2

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

2/2 nothing, only to have their friends make you seem the villai because you're angered by it, telling you to "let it go." it's infuriating

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

We choose who we surround ourselves with. There's nothing wrong with trying to find new friends if you're not compatible with those people.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It was never friends. I'm thinking back to highschool and prior. My first real friend I met in grade 11. first 18 yrs were hell.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

A person only ever fucks me over once. I don't do revenge, I do however adapt my behaviour to shield myself against them.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I see no reason to forgive. People should focus on not beeing dickheads

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

I would totally watch a show on these two as high roommates.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

There's an anime called "Saint Young Men" (or "Saint Oniisan") where Jesus and Buddha live as roomates. Should check it out :)

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You, good sir, are a scholar and a saint! Thank you!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I really fucking needed this lately, and today of all is no coincidence. Thank you for this share.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

I forgave my abuser and it immediately backfired on me sooo...Nope, still happy not forgiving. I'm happier knowing I shouldn't.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Wait Tutu on imgur? What a guy!

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Also forgiveness can't be demanded. Forcing victims to "forgive" the people who wronged them is just wronging them all over again.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

This helped me because I'm realizing how strong I was in the relationship. But I forgave him continually, and he abused it 1/2

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

2/2 and I have to hold on to anger or else I'll lose sight of the reasons I broke it off. Being at the brunt of emotional abuse is shitty

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You don't forgive until you are ready. This is a fake choice; forgiveness isn't the only way to avoid anger. You CAN CHOOSE to not be...

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

...angry with a little practice. You can hate someone while not giving them the power to change your emotions, and sometimes it's a good...

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

...way to handle things. Use your best logical judgement to choose the best possible outcome, and calmly work towards it.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

There have been too many signs in my life that it's time to forgive two people who have hurt me.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Forgave my dad years ago for molesting me. What i wouldn't give to see him again. He died 12 years ago. I miss him. Hate me if you want.

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 3

Was he sorry?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I honestly don't know. I was young & didn't see him much after. He died not too long afterward

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Woah, that's some powerful healing there. Don't hate you, just in awe. Forget what anyone else says. Live in love.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Same, not dad but cousin. I don't look at forgiveness as an understanding or excuse for the act but forgiving myself for not fighting 1/2

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

2/2 back. For saying "it's ok you were 4 years old and didn't know what to do." It's not saying what happened was OK. It's for yourself.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Can I send you a message ?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Absolutely

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I for one have a major problem with forgiveness. I e just been in a place In my life were forgiveness is taken for granted.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

...beyond that I feel like some people need to know that forgiveness is NOT to be expected.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

When you don't forgive you let that person live rent free in your mind and heart

9 years ago | Likes 188 Dislikes 3

Fuck that, forgive. If I can't live rent free then so cant that douche.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I usually end up forgetting before i forgive so i am just angry for no discernable reason.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And fuck that person, he doesn't get to sleep on my little heartcouch. Not affer the shit he pulled.

9 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

+1 for "heartcouch"

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

eh, I ain't forgiving Hitler, and I'm pretty sure I'm giving him less space than a Nazi.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That hit me more than ever (slightly over exaggerating) but believe me, thank you! your message helps more than you believe

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

100% what I'm struggling with right now. Cognitively, I totally get what you're saying. On the other hand, I'm. Just. So. Angry. Still.

9 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 1

On my end it's that I was completely dissociating with the past and just learned in therapy that I actively block out and bury anything 1/?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That comes up that hurts. I pretend that all happened to another person and that it was a past life of some sort. 2/2

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If you still have anger to process, trying to forgive can be pointless. Take care of yourself and heal, and forgiveness will come in time.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Beat up a punching bag, play a violent video game, role-play a true/lawful/chaotic good character in an RPG, etc. It's energy; use it.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

A person I thought was my best friend hurt me very deeply. It took seven weeks to process my anger. I wrote a long response to him but (1/2)

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Never sent it. I wanted to. I wanted to empty all my rage and pain onto him. But after a day or two I realized, I wrote that for me. (2/?)

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I didn't write it for him. Now that I've expressed all my anger (and it was a lot) I feel better. I can forgive. But before I cut him (3/?)

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Out of my life, I set a boundary. If he ever wanted to be in my life, he needed to apologize for what he did and said. Even though (4/?)

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Remember that anger and forgiveness aren't the same. Allow yourself the opportunity to process your true feelings otherwise they will come

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Back to "haunt" you. When I struggle with forgiveness I focus on 2 things 1) was it the intention of the other person to hurt me and 2) what

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Have I learned and how am I better for it. Then once I have successfully forgiven I think about how the circumstances have positively

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Benefitted me, no matter how small, what is my silver lining. And if all else fails I ask myself "why would I want to be forgiven"

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Beautifully said. I've forgiven a lot but I'll be damned if I forget what people have done, I won't let the past repeat itself.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I've completely disowned my mother and father for being abusive drug addicts. I watched my mother nearly beat a woman to death as a child.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I watched my father nearly beat my mother todeath... and I... I got it too, just as bad... beat mentally and physically.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Is soon as I grew old enough to get away, I did. And till this day I hold so much resentment and hate... this post might have very well

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Changed my entire perspective. There has been a personal paradigm shift in a way I never thought possible. This has changed my life

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Good for you. Your parents had many issues and dealt with them poorly. You can learn from that and be better.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It might be worth your time to watch the source video, then.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Because you have to forgive someone in order to forget about them, why?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You don't forget. You're allowed to remember, but the forgiveness is more for your sake than theirs.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

When you forgive them, they don't have to know that you forgave them. It is a mental statement that you will no longer hold on to anger

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

about the situation. It's in the past, and you hate the person's actions rather than the actual person. Everyone has some good within them

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

and to disregard that ounce of goodness means that someone else would have gone without if that person wasn't there.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Desmond tutu

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

True happiness comes from snorting coke off a hookers ass. - Dalai Lama

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 6

I don't understand this and never have. I don't need to forgive somebody to move on with my life without them.

9 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 14

how can you be sure?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I think forgiveness is just as much about you truly moving on as it is about letting the other person slide. Just my 2 cents.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

That's the problem with forgiveness without repercussion. The forgiven never has to change their behavior & new people learn the same lesson

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Each to their own. Power to you if you can move on without forgiving someone.

9 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 2

You can also have an awesome revenge and then move on...

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Same. Hate when people white-knight and say I should forgive when they've incredibly wronged me. They don't deserve it, but I won't dwell.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Holding a grudge isn't healthy. Its like drinking poison, doesn't hurt them, only you. Forgiving is not forgetting, its putting it in a-

9 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 2

Place where it can't harm you anymore.

9 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 1

That's just it. I just don't think about them at all. It's not like I sit around fuming over people who wronged me. I learn and move on.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

That would be radical acceptance and that's powerful in itself. Many people have trouble with this and it's so important for a healthy life

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I'm curious to know if you still talk to them, especially if the situation would make you "rude" for choosing not to.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I will always be 'professional' with people, regardless. Those I choose to be close with, are few and far betwen, and I'll drop that easily.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

So you tolerate their presence then? Do you do anything to warn others against trusting them? Being "professional" gives a false impression

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I mean isn't that the entire point this gif is making?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I am the same way, but some people need to forgive to move on

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Isnt this what theyve meant with forgiveness?

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

depends on how hard you'll try to kick their asses if they cross your path again.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Maybe it is, and I just don't know it. I don't hold grudges. In just not made that way, and maybe that's why this concept confuses me.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

yea you're basically unconsciously forgiving them! thats good!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I've always understood them to be separate things entirely. To me, forgiveness is more about personal growth regardless of moving on or not.

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

Yes

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

In another world these two would have made the greatest buddy cop movie in history.

9 years ago | Likes 2579 Dislikes 6

I forgive you for this comment

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Monk n' Funk.

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

This would make an excellent title.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

BLACK AND TAN!

9 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 1

Blackie Chan

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I'd watch it

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Dude, Dali Lama and Cool Pope should team up to fight crime!

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

They still have time. Maybe they'd just be the retired cops who do paperwork and sip lemonade

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

They still could.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Good cop-good cop routine

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Lmaooo

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What do you mean another word? We got this word! Somebody get on that shit!!!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Rush Hour 4?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Good cop/bad cop?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

They still have time. Maybe they'd just be the retired cops who do paperwork and sip lemonade

9 years ago | Likes 52 Dislikes 0

ICE T?

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

It's lemonade, man!

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Why can't it be both?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Read the sign!

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Like Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker ?

9 years ago | Likes 507 Dislikes 9

No, that was just some racial stereotype shit the child rapists in Hollywood dreamed up.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 3

More like Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder. R.I.P.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Lama and the Bishop

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I would agree except Jackie Chan doesn't even like the Rush Hour movies.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I thought they had just gone into motivational speaking

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Like Maisie Williams and Sophie Turner, Sir Patrick Stewart and Sir Ian McKellan and Chris Evans and Crisp Ratt's buddy cop movie where /1

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

/2 They all have the same lines in different places.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Nope. Way better.

9 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 3

I'm sorry, but no, not better than Chan + Tucker. Maybe pretty good, but not their level.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Pump your brakes, kid.

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Like Baby Legs and Regular Legs?

9 years ago | Likes 72 Dislikes 1

You main Twins?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I'll catch the bad guy with my...... Regular... Legs

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

Wo huh goo gaw what it isn't goo fo absoluly nothing

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

http://imgur.com/camYZ4N.mp4

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

On the off chance you really didn't get it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQHUAJTZqF0

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

AINT NOBODY UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Like Mel Gibson and Danny Glover ?

9 years ago | Likes 148 Dislikes 1

Word

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Like Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson ?

9 years ago | Likes 104 Dislikes 0

But Sam wasn't a cop in Die Hard 3...

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Like Emilio Estevez and Samuel L. Jackson?

9 years ago | Likes 56 Dislikes 0

Like Tom Hanks and Dog?

9 years ago | Likes 54 Dislikes 0

I'd much rather see plain black and white text than this pretentious cartoon-effect text crap that only diverts you from the message

9 years ago | Likes 1026 Dislikes 101

You call that a font? You fucking peice of shit!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 14

Yeah, @op should have used comics sans.

9 years ago | Likes 80 Dislikes 3

Eveything is better with comic sans. Trust me, I'm the internet. You know it, I know it, everybody knows it.

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Wow what a grump...

9 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 6

Text has none of the tone that speech has. The colourful underlining attempts to give a hint of the inflection from the original speech.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I literally have know clue what the post says

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

You are forgiven...but not forgotten, ass

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Probably not forgotten, yeah. At least The Grammar Nazi convention shall later recall this thread as "The Auschwitz of the word pretentious"

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Lmfao...bravo

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

No, it is great. You are wrong.

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 4

It wasn't Op making the video, it is within the video itself.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You need to take a chill-pill, kiddo.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

I couldnt understand half of what they said becauase of that text

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Fuck yes. The text made this ridiculous to follow.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Thank you!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Good idea, can you please re-do this gif for us!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

I'd have probably rather liked to see this in short segments with text from Imgur's video to gif. So I, or anyone, theoretically could

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Calm down.. Jesus Christ.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

no, it diverts you, since that's your opinion.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

Opinions are valued, doesn't mean they're agreed upon.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What do you mean? Since I'm using you-passive isn't that basically the same thing

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

He's saying it might divert you personally but that doesn't mean it has the same effect on everybody else

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

So it's nitpicking at it's finest. Classy

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

i'm telling you its best to speak for yourself if you start an argument with your personal opinion, otherwise its a blanket statement.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

If its pretentious... Then what is the pretense? Pretentious doesn't just mean fancy-lookin, it implies dishonesty of intention.

9 years ago | Likes 52 Dislikes 12

'Pretentious doesn't just mean fancy-lookin'. So you admit it can mean other things?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Pretentious and pretence while they share the same root do not have the same meaning. A synonym for pretentious is pompous.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I'm a foreign speaker, "pompous and unnecessary flashy" is something like what I was after here. Thanks for correction

9 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 2

Mate don't mind these fools, correcting you when you were right, pretentious works perfectly here.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

No, you got it correct. You can absolutely use pretentious in that way. It was still a mean comment though

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

I knew it all along. I'm just trying to seem humble here and not get downvoted for showing my expulsion mastery of the language

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

Perhaps "ostentatious" or "gaudy" would work for you in the future, Friend.

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 1

Pretentious is a synonym of ostentatious, all you cunts correcting him when he's right in the first place

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

I agree with you, I think pretentious was just fine. He just said he wasn't a native speaker so I offered him alrlternatives.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thanks, nice to get actual advice on that! But idk, "ostentatious" sounds like such a pretentious word, idk if I'll use it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Forgive op

9 years ago | Likes 367 Dislikes 3

But do not forget

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

That actually got me thinking. It's timed well, OP probably saw a lot of effort in it, and all I had to say was that it annoyed me. Damn

9 years ago | Likes 160 Dislikes 5

Actually, I clicked on the sauce, and the original video has all the comic-y stuff already on it.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Still, someone had to put all that effort in. The original poster, you might say...

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You piece of shit. I'm sorry.

9 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

You're forgiven.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

That's the spirit! No worries!

9 years ago | Likes 49 Dislikes 0

Just between you and me, I'm not really sorry, just trying to seem more empathetic to rack some more of them sweet comment points \_(ツ)_/¯

9 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 4

i forgive you

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

I forgive you!

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Haha looks like you are forgiven! This is perfect.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Piss off you twa... Oh right, forgiveness and all that

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0