5 Totally Real Reasons To Eat P3!

Sep 19, 2018 11:14 PM

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450

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1494

Today on BuzzGur, 17 reasons why your spirit animal is a pack of protein snacks! Now with bonus life hacks! (Is that still a thing? Is any of this still a thing?)

P3 is the Portable Protein Pack that contains meats, cheese, nuts, and SQUAD GOALS. Just read on to learn its amazing and totally true secrets.

P3 Helps You Understand Today’s Youth!

Is that what “yeet” means? Thanks, P3, for making me sound less old.

P3 Grants The Power Of Flight!

With up to 17 grams of protein power, you’ll blaze right through the ceiling and out of the land of TPS reports and middle management. Please note: P3 is not responsible for any property damage that might occur. Please fly responsibly.

P3 Makes You Grow Hair… But Only Where You Want It!

P3 is the more interesting way to get your protein...and by far the more interesting way to combat male pattern baldness!*

* Just kidding! This is a joke. FTC, don’t do us a legal. Heck.

P3 Repels Multi-level Marketing Salespeople!

How it works is that you buy P3, and then you get 5 of your friends to buy P3, and they get 5 of their friends to buy P3, and in the end you make a lot of money! Somehow?

P3 Makes You More Attractive… To Dogs!

Everyone needs an entourage of adoring dogs. A dog-tourage, if you will. Find P3 in the meat case at a grocery or convenience store near you. Find adorable doggos at your local animal shelter. Find BuzzGur nowhere, because we made it all up.

Can we not please?

7 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

That shit is nasty! You can make your own pack using quality goods cheaper.

7 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 1

This absolutely shitty expired re-packed Lunchable at 3x the cost with less food again? Fuck off.

7 years ago | Likes 65 Dislikes 1

7 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

7 years ago | Likes 644 Dislikes 2

WTF is a buzzger?

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Seconded

7 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

*rolls for persuasion*

7 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

7 years ago | Likes 145 Dislikes 1

because the environment needs you to have individual snacks wrapped in plastic BECAUSE THERE IS NO OTHER WAY TO BUY AND STORE CHEESE OR NUTS

7 years ago | Likes 107 Dislikes 4

It's trash waste for trashy wasteful people.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

So lazy.

7 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

I get that they want it to be playful with how awful it is, but there's a fine line to that art and they missed. This is just awful-awful.

7 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

You lost me at buzzfeed

7 years ago | Likes 579 Dislikes 4

And all the memes they tried to shoehorn in, poorly...

7 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

[deleted]

[deleted]

7 years ago (deleted Oct 16, 2018 12:15 AM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

you talking about the ad or the comment they made? probably should of clarified

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

It was buzzfeed

7 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Perfect match for these shitty edgelord lunchables.

7 years ago | Likes 49 Dislikes 1

....what.

7 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 2

How do you do, fellow kids?

7 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

How do you do.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

get the fuck out of here

7 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Dear Imgur, When I visit, I get excited to be able to escape the everyday. When your first post is an ad, I feel like I am failing at this.

7 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

so much plastic waste...stop it

7 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

I feel like this was made by aliens that had the internet explaned to them via buzzfeed articles

7 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Hellooo Imgur? Fuck off with these shitty ads.

7 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

I mean I like the P3s but this kinda makes me not want em anym

7 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

...ore

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Buzzfeed? Fuck off. Mediocre processed bullshit? Fuck off. You're an ad? Fuck off. For real though, fuck off with your shit product.

7 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

An attempt was made

7 years ago | Likes 63 Dislikes 2

Did they even really try though?

7 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

Yeah, I was gonna say "That's arguable, man". XD

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Are you comparing imgur to buzzfeed or?

7 years ago | Likes 315 Dislikes 2

Ending a question with "or?" is one of my greatest pet peeves.

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 13

its pretty much a "im asking but feel free to correct me if the assumption in my question is wrong and totally off" or thats how i use it

7 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I think it's in the way I read it. If it were written "or..." rather than "or?" it wouldn't bother me so much.

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I think they had a baby... and called it BuzzGer

7 years ago | Likes 42 Dislikes 2

like imgur would ever mess around with a pedoguy like buzzfeed

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

BuzzGer is basically scrappy doo

7 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

LEMME AT EM LEMME AT EEEM

7 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Ads are a necessary part of enjoying free stuff on the internet, but this is just insulting.

7 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

I would go out of my way to NOT buy this product because this ad is so bad.

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Wasn't sure it was a joke until I got to 'yeet.'

7 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 0

There have been some decent ads on here. This is not one of them. This might be the cringiest attempt I've ever seen. You don't get it, Ad.

7 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

Another post that someone should be ashamed of having made, but instead they get paid and we get fucked in the eyes by their lumpy shitpost.

7 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0

@sarah

7 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

As rule alway down vote Anything with the starting word (BUZZ)!

7 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 1

[deleted]

[deleted]

7 years ago (deleted Apr 2, 2021 4:40 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Except Buzzlightyear!! Too infinity and beyond!

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

buzzkill..

7 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

It's like some executive asked an intern to give him a list of memes, and he tried to use all of them in one ad.

7 years ago | Likes 332 Dislikes 2

This looks like something my company's marketing Dept would create as they are so out of touch and cringy it's scary.

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"Squad goals! hahah! We're hip! Buzzfeed knockoff! Millenials! Doggos!"

7 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

''don't do us a legal. heck'' why are they using doggo speak in a meme with no doggo.

7 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

They are not one of us

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Hello fellow children

7 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

The worst of it is that executive is probably young enough to know better. Unless he's from the Ironic Generation.

7 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Nail on the head

7 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

"I hear the youngs like dogs and yeets. And put one of those 'maymay' things in there. They'll gobble that shit up!"

7 years ago | Likes 48 Dislikes 0

Dear God maymay kills my soul a little every time I hear it. My boss is only 38 but says it that way.

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

“Don’t do us a legal. Heck.”

7 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0