NotABsian0073
115987
3447
53
Jan 24, 2019 5:45 AM
NotABsian0073
115987
3447
53
DrewSf29
The thing is, when you're on cocaine you just dont WANNA eat. It's like: eww who eats food that sounds gross let's go slap a farm animal
Yinusa
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MantisTobogganPilotMD
South Beach Diet = 8ball and a potato chip per day.
prettylittlehex
Or just get the Flu, I've already lost 10 pounds in two days...
SmooveDoober
Careful, cocaine's a gateway drug
Draggerofknuckles
Plenty of sleep and cocaine don't mix, or so says my friend
westcoastjeff
Meth. Not coccaine for quicker results.
HandsomeJack19
People drink too much water. It's unnecessary and the benefits are overblown. If you force yourself to drink when you're not thirsty. Stop.
gatorgirl34733000
Bulimia works pretty great
CrossControls
Meat and water.
nafun
The secret to losing weight fast is to first get crazy fat. I lost almost 50lbs the first month. 30 in the first week!
nafun
The down side was that after a year and 150lbs I was still fat.
Kriggo
All jokes aside, that’s incredible. Well done you! I hope you’re happy and healthy now.
ImSorryIfYouGotOffended
Pop Molly,hit clubbing, dance and sweat like no tmrw.
orangebicx
Well he is not wrong
jaboiLD
It was.....surprisingly effective. But not great when you’re already skinny :/
DubSteppinFool
The hardest part is getting enough sleep once you have the cocaine
GhoulsGW
you just do a little key bump in the morning.
MisterTrashPanda
And then at lunch. And before that big meeting. And then...
FckMyAssholeWithYourBlood
Meth would be cheaper tho
orangebicx
Really hard to sleep on, coke does not last that long whereas meth will keep you awake for days if you a bit too hard
nfamouscj
Expensive dental bills
huntingsamsquantches
Move to Venezuela
AaawwWFrier
Stressful job helps too...
NormanReedusLooksLikeHeWouldBeGoodInBed
Wouldn't amphetamines be more effective?
cuplinks
It used to be prescribed as a weight loss drug so yeah, probably. Also lasts longer. And is cheaper.
graehall
Stimulants are effective, but also, if you've already got a poor diet, a great way to have a heart attack and fucking die. YMMV.
myr14d
Cut off an arm.
TornoSubito
Is this a legal or illegal measure?
RootEnoch
frogglesmash
Who's arm?
FrozenFoodGuy
A mime’s arm. You’ll never hear them complaining anyways.
RootEnoch
metalfoto
Donate a kidney.
EyesOnThePies
Or a leg.
v
xwing420cookiemonster
Oh god you wouldn’t take 30 days to do it though?!?
Deathbychocolateandpoison
It will grow back, right?
NachoIskerka
"But where do I get some Cocaine?" "Put on a Clapton vinyl from the 70s. It'll just start pouring out of the speakers"
bubbawasmybestgoodfriend
she don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie.....cocaine
TheEmperorsTrueChampion
You are a liar. I just did that for last two hours and barely got line.
NachoIskerka
You have to buy the older ones. The newer ones have much less cocaine to conform to FDA standards to junkie musicians.
thisisausernamelikeanyothersbutthisonesmellsweird
never tried cocaine.. But i like the smell of it..
yourlocaleconomicsnerd
Hooked on a feeling...
ThisPleasesZulthar
I'm high on believin'...
troublecliff
So, to get your nose under it, you gotta get down. Down on the ground?
MyFavouriteHoodie
Cocaine
ThisUserProfileWillSelfDestructIn321
HurryUpIGotNuts2bustButtstoFuckndSlutstofuckinUppercut
After a day of cocaine my body craves fast food and alot of it
RodgerRodger
*J. J. Cale
Jathantaylor
I was just about to say it was a J.J. Cale cover, just like Skynyrd's version of call me the breeze
babattaja
J.J. Cale!
NachoIskerka
No, i know jj cale wrote cocaine. Im referring to the sheer amount of Cocaine clapton did in the 70s. He basically breathed it into mics.
NachoIskerka
No, i know jj cale wrote cocaine. Im referring to the sheer amount of Cocaine clapton did in the 70s. He basically breathed it into mics.
RodgerRodger
ahahaha! sorry for the confusion!
Delathi
Poverty worked for me.
ThisNeedsMoreBoobs
Humor +1. Truth!
FiftyShadesOfMascarpone
Crohn's disease is also remarkably effective. Haven't tried cancer yet, but I've heard great things about it.
bobbob1016
Clean veganism? As opposed to dirty?
BigJewishHulk
Clean vegans also shower
bobbob1016
Ah, ok.
Basementpooper
Whole food veganism as opposed to processed foods
ME2G
Adderall XR 60mg/day. With a focalin kicker in the afternoon.
samtherat6
Veganism doesn’t automatically make you healthy, even if you exercise. Source: potato chips are vegan and I’m a fat boi.
AlaSnackbar
Fully endoreced by the American cocain society
daedalus98
Meth also works
Cela84
I cut 34 lbs in a month once. Worst month ever, and then I fought a guy in a cage. All worth it.
batmanbumantics
.....is this a reference or is your life wild?
Cela84
My manliest moment, cut lots of weight, then fought a guy in a cage in a dim bar in Fredericksburg. Then my mom fought off a bear attack...
pinatafarmer
Cocaine and tapas
bongface
That's the fucking dream right there
Shy180
Classy reply.
IAmJacksRagingBileDuct
Keto and fasting. You'll shit your intestinal lining out but you'll drop the weight.
Bronxon
But why, why would you need to loose that weight in 30 days?
rmiGod
When I started working out, I lost about 8kg in the first month (from 85 to 78). I think her goal is ok.
LetTheSpiceFlow
It is extremely unhealthy to lose more than 2 lbs/~.9 kgs a week without a professional overseeing your diet. For multiple reasons.
rmiGod
Well, I don't know. All I did was to hit the gym and stop eating sweets like the cookie monster. I just lost weight naturally.
LetTheSpiceFlow
It’s case by case. Losing large amounts of weight puts strain on filter organs like your kidneys and liver. Eating on a restricted 1/2
LetTheSpiceFlow
calorie diet will often lead to skimping on a balanced diet, and over the course of a long enough period of time can lead to malnutrition.
rmiGod
In my case maybe the change of lifestyle also mattered (I was sedentary). After 1-2months, my weight became stable.
Lucritas
DrBlackMiami
Dats dat hamron
Canimakeasuggestion
Cokayeeena. Cocaine is a hell of a drug...
Counterfit
She thought it was cocaine. She was wrong
ethanpanda101
To be fair, she ODed on snorted heroin. Not that anyone should ever try drugs BUT seriously don't snort heroin.
legalisegaymarijuana
Lowat? Everyone should try drugs, drugs are awesome. You never had molly and fucked?
FeChefImgur
did she know it was heroin ?
mishalala
Oh. You need to see the movie.
BigHop
No
caustickiwii
She thought it was cocaine.
ItsDandySpaceDandy
No no. Let them try.
Lucritas
Yes let em
Lyllii
What about injecting marijuana?
grinner
only if you inject the whole blunt straight into the artery
Lucritas
Or drinking glue
RatherRagged
Only into your PP.
kojenk
Only into your eyeballs.
springuy8
Definitely inject the marijuana. It's the best way.
nyut
You don’t drink the weed?
RocketNewman
Wait I thought you put your weed on a spoon and held a lighter under it and just kinda sniffed.
DevilishlySexyStarfish
That's obviously fine. How else are you gonna do it?
skincancerisfun
I shove it in my peehole 'cos I'm cool
Lyllii
I heard there are people that smoke it. But that’s just outlandish
ethanpanda101
It's not. Smoking is the best way to avoid getting too high. More and more people freak out when they eat too much.