kmccre3
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I am literally day two of coming back to work after taking a mental health leave of absence after a nervous breakdown, and this news just felt like a delayed reaction dick kick from 2022. After a year of grief and struggle I worked so hard to be ready to face the new year. And now I feel even more guilty than I already did for taking the leave of absence in the first place.
He was such a kind kid, always smiling, never involved in drama or fights with the other kids, well liked. But he had a problem with addiction, likely stemming from having a joint laced by someone when he was in middle school. That left him with a learning disability, and I guess he wound up homeless after graduation and was outside when the deep freeze hit.
I just feel so much pain and rage. There are people who are to blame for this. People who allow homelessness to continue. People who prefer punitive policy to rehabilitation. People who leave social safety nets in shambles. My wonderful student brought joy and happiness to my classroom every day and all he needed was a society that would look out for him, and now he is dead.
I'm seeing a therapist and talk with my loved ones, but I need to make other people angry about this too. He deserves that people be angry that this happened to him. He mattered.
This is now the fourth student that has died since I started teaching here five years ago. At least that I know of. Kids/families just ghost us all the time and we only end up learning about so much. Our student population is 100.
I am going to make it to summer. I can't abandon the kids I have now. But I don't know about after that.
roxxiecld4360
Not all teachers feel so close to their students. Apparently you are a good one. You do make a difference I'm sure. Hang in there
uncas5128
I am so, so sorry. That's just horrible and tragic.
dontlookinmybeard
We are mad with you. But students need you. You made a difference in that young man's life. People die and that blows but its life.
Ronelyn
*giant hugs* That sounds gut-wrenching, hon. :( Your grief is real and understandable. Take the time you need with it. Nobody should>
Ronelyn
>expect you to make big decisions about your future right now, including you. Be kind to and patient with yourself. *more hugs*
CatEyebrows
The USA is 50 3rd world countries disguised as the wealthiest county in the world, with a military big enough to fight god
JimmyVonJamieson
Try not to feel guilt about taking your leave. Sometimes we need to heal ourselves before we can continue to help others, and sometimes.....
JimmyVonJamieson
...our healing can take longer just because you care that much. Which makes you even more invaluable, and important to take the time to heal
bigmeanandgreen
I lost a former student to suicide about a month ago. It feel impossible to teach when you are living with such grief. I'm so sorry.
kmccre3
I'm sorry for your student too. Suicide took a cousin of mine a few years back. We gotta just take it day by day.
kmccre3
Thank you everyone for your kind words. If you feel moved to please contribute to a local trustworthy charity for homeless in Savion's name
SindarElla
Do you know of one that operates in your area that we could donate to?
kmccre3
Www.Milmission.org is probably t">a> is probably the largest. Also hopehousemke.org
idownvoteyouall
Donated to wilmission i hope it helps
Hurlerontheditch10
If he brought joy and happiness to your classroom its only because he received it in kind. Always remember that. Continue to lead the way!
CraggyIslander
Excellent words.
kmccre3
I'm gonna keep fighting the good fight. Your kind words help
Tyaldan
Continue to be kind and amazing, but dont let that stop you from fighting! You arent wrong, people SHOULD be angry. I know i am.
DylenVoght
Sir/mam I shed tears for you tonight. It seems to true that inequality of today and if one person changes there mind because of your words..
DylenVoght
Then you have made a difference.
kmccre3
I hope so. Just gotta do what you can, when you can, for however long you can. I think that's what Beau says
uniquepseudonym
I remember having to tell my TAs in a giant lecture class that they needed to be cool to students who said that they had a tragedy...
uniquepseudonym
...but when you have 300+ students the #s mean that there's going to be some actual dead grandma's. And occasionally a dead student....
uniquepseudonym
...the longer and more students you teach the more likely some will end up badly, but also the more lives you touch.
HandoB4Javert
Charles Dickens would recognize the times we have now for those without money. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Christmas_Carol
aShogunNamedMarcus
I feel we are truly living in the blurst of times
Eileen3402
For every kid who has a dire situation there are many others who light up someone else's life. You can do it for them.
beAbetterperson7
Keep teaching if you can, when current or former students die, its like losing a relative. It sucks. Focus on those in front of you and know
beAbetterperson7
That for 9-10 months of the deceased students life, it was made better by you in it. Its all we can do, and for some it means everything.
kmccre3
You are right. The injustice our society puts on our kids is just so fucked, and instinctually want to put myself between them and harm.
beAbetterperson7
And for some you can see the path their on, you try and alter the course and forna while you succeed only to find out later that your work/1
beAbetterperson7
Got them off the path,but for some their time off that path was just a scenic detour and they return to the original.Focus on the daily wins
CloakedFigure
You’re a good person @kmccre3. Take care of yourself, and hang in there.
Neurisko
Punishing homelessness is more expensive than creating solutions to it. Politicians are bastards. Vote for people that are less bastard-y.
kmccre3
Oh I'm trying. I vote in every little election and teach my students how to register themselves to vote too
walnutbreath
What did they lace the joint with to give him a learning disability?
kmccre3
Not sure. But it left him unable to sting coherent sentences together. Who does that to a kid not even in high-school yet?
ProbablySmellLikeDoge
You did nothing wrong. My friend committed suicide while I was too busy doing my last finals week of college. it is so hard not to blame 1/.
ProbablySmellLikeDoge
Myself but in the end we as individuals do not have the resources to always be there for people who need it. You pointed out many other 2/.
ProbablySmellLikeDoge
Injustices and reasons for why the world is the way it is. But that doesn't mean the blame needs to land on you. Stay safe friend
kmccre3
Thank you. I realize I can only keep fighting the good fight if I take care of myself.
PrincessWendyB
There are so many more kids who need a compassionate, rather than authoritarian, instructor- if you can, keep going.
Eratix
This is the kind of caring and empathy we need to teach to the next generation. You have my respect.
MoonAmericanFloydHeywoodR
You are fully allowed to think of yourself and your needs. It might be time to move to a different kind of work. Nothing wrong with that.
TheNextHafthorBjornsson
I teach borderline intellectual functioning kids in a bad area and it's exactly the same if not worse here and it's insanely disheartening.
ckchilli
Thank you for your service
kmccre3
The thing that I keep coming back to is that there exist people who could make this sort of thing a relic of the past, but they don't.
LordAuditorVorkosigan
You may be the only person who cares about these kids. Problem is, that's a really, really hard burden to bear, and it's not yours alone.
stilloldbull
My son’s high school friend was caught smoking weed. When they started piss testing him he screwed his brain with undetectable bath salts.
stilloldbull
One of saddest mishandled incidents I have ever known…a smart funny kid now a walking vegetable.
BobHopeLives
Nothing is worse than the death of a student. It's one of the things I never learned in college: How to cope with and help other students 1/
BobHopeLives
... deal with the death of a child. 2/2
kmccre3
Yup. You assume you'll outlive them, or atheist you won't lose them while you are still relatively young. I have lost 4 in 5 years
SkamanSam
I used to hang out with homeless dudes at their camp near the tracks. I would try to het them help and some would take me up...1/2
SkamanSam
2/2...One winter, when I was 20, all 17 in that camp died, found huddled together. I had never felt so powerless; have never felt.
MissSiesta
Damn.
kmccre3
Empathy is utterly critical, but damned if it doesn't leave you open to utter heartbreak. Each one of those people mattered
SkamanSam
I didn't know a lot of them well, but they mattered a lot to those who introduced me to that group. Gutter punks have the biggest hearts.
SharkDoctor
I am a student with a housing issue and past addiction issues. I was recently held captive and I guess tortured if you wanna call it that 1/
SharkDoctor
They set me on fire and snapped my arm and stuff. And they threw me out when they realized I was dying. 2/?
SharkDoctor
I told my favorite professor that I just couldn't wait to be back in school and trying to move on and he said "why bother. What's your 3/?
SharkDoctor
Plan? Why not just go to community college?" I ripped him a new asshole but man. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Addiction is 4/?
SharkDoctor
bitch, and I've found myself frozen to the ground just to get that damn bag of dope. Don't quit teaching, know for certain that 5/6
SharkDoctor
even if they've never told you, you've changed someone's life. If you need to talk, I'm here. 6/6
suckstoyourauntie
It made me angry, too. You're right, the government, catering to the rich and giant corporations, instead of improving society; I blame them
kmccre3
Thank you. It actually really helps to know that someone else feels anger at this too.
kobolddreams
My only cousin I cared about died this way after couch surfing two years ago. Every time I think about the death all I can remember is us1/2
kobolddreams
running around our granny's basement pretending to be pokemon saying the pokemon name's over and over, hunched over like little goblins. 2/2
kmccre3
In sorry for your loss. He didn't deserve that, you both deserved to stay friends forever
kobolddreams
It was the first death I've ever experienced in the family, and I hadn't really seen him in years so I wasn't still attached, but 1/2
kobolddreams
even if it's not as personal a loss as it could have been, you and I are gonna be remembering these wonderful people with love forever. 2/2
YpsilantiRomani
It is hard but it may not be the profession for you. My cousin try to be a nurse in the terminal paeds. department & 1 of the nurse told 1/2
YpsilantiRomani
Most nurses don't make it very long, but the 1s that do will spend their entire career there
kmccre3
Well I am at an alternative school for at risk kids in (arguably) the most segregated cities in America. So I am considering trying to ...
phoenixaddams
Chicago or Milwaukee?
kmccre3
Milwaukee
darkoshen
I knew it.
darkoshen
Milwaukee? I bet it's Milwaukee.
kmccre3
Move to a less intensive environment. I just need to make it to late may. Do my best for my kids until then
watcher2000
May be a hard take but maybe you are where you need to be with high risk kids you never know how many kids you may have been the reason
watcher2000
They have made it maybe they don’t even know you are that reason I know tough times make it hard to continue but you have to know you have
BarryTheCyborg
You are doing you best it sounds, even if it varies day by day.
AlcoholicsAnonymousBYO
Everyone deserves a break from heavy duty and that sounds as heavy duty as it comes. As a journo? Learnt the hard way I cannot save 'em all.