xfamousx0
151741
4066
81
Sep 30, 2019 9:32 AM
xfamousx0
151741
4066
81
chucklemore
bsavvy
There once was a man named Dave, who kept a dead whore in a cave,she smelled like shit and was missing a tit, but look at the money he saved
hetriedtokillmewithaforklift
When I went to engineering school, the bathroom had a force equation for ejaculation on the wall
dan10026
Ah bathroom vandalism, the voice of the people.
AtsaMattaForMe
ActionJohnnie
Why are you looking here? The joke is in your hand.
Busdriverfromhell
In my home town there was a guy who wrote almost every buplic toilet "bingolappu simo iski taas" wich means " bingo tag Simo strikes again"
mrcatpoop
“You can’t see this” written in black marker on a black painted wall I laughed every time I went in that stall
Skizzlesnap
Best one I’ve read: Three things I hate. 1)Lists 2)Vandalism 3)Irony
RobertZimmermanWasRight
Ach wie gut das niemand weiß, das ich wichse und nicht scheiß....
ItWasIWhoFarted
"Ich bin entrüstet!" Sprach der Ritter und stand nackt im Wind. (Sorry this doesn't translate cause pun)
TheChook
One of my favorites from a classic game: “Attention arcade game players. Please don’t eat the urinal cakes”
mrcatpoop
Leisure suit Larry?
TheChook
Correct!
sometimesifeellikeanut
For a great BUICK call 555-7617
Licensedsmartass
Road House
3PiecesOfBread
xmac1x
Here I sat in acrid vapour, took a shit but had no paper. But I'm no man to sit and linger, I clenched my eyes and used my finger.
BlueLanternBraxx
"They try to use paint to cover my pen, but the shit house poet strikes again."
secretdpp
Wagner
dieselinmybeer
I know that one from my Army days. I may or may not be a fan of shithouse tennis too.
BeneGesseritConspiracyTheorist
jesusisherelookbusy
bikergeek6249
My high school's bathrooms didn't even have doors on the stalls.
pandro
After the boys' bathrooms' doors vanished, friend of a friend walked in and the principal was taking a dump. Admitted they should get doors.
bikergeek6249
Oh, my high school had separate bathrooms for the faculty. You can bet those had doors on the stalls.
pandro
yes, I assume he was in an inconvenient location.
tumppu
"Here I sit and contemplate, should I shit or masturbate" and other all time great bathroom wall quotes...
bliblablu350
.
Jonataurus
Both
undertow92182
Nothing wrong with an autoblumpkin
Arvannies
tesseract4d2
That's a new one for me, and that's goddamn hilarious
AwesomeTeddybear
What do you mean "that's a new one for me" like that's your birthplace. How many or these do you know and where do you live
tesseract4d2
I hadn't seen that graffiti before. I've seen plenty of bathroom graffiti. "call me if you're poopin" or "here I sit all broken hearted" etc
Primary1
A classic
WeekendWarriorMark
Thats not how “beaming up” works
Schmooooo
Suspension of disbelief is just as applicable here as it is in a Star Trek movie
ILikeTaterTots
tornadosandwich
Yeah it disintegrates you and makes a copy on the ship
tornadosandwich
Basically a fax with a shredder in the output slot
plas229
A man's a fool and he should know it, who makes himself a bathroom poet...
InboxMeYourGermanShepherds
"If your hose is too short, or your pump is too weak, better step a bit closer before you piss on your feet."
daemiencurow
Learned in the military: "Here I sit feeling fine, taking a shit on government time."
pockpock
Similar: Chef makes a dollar, I make a dime, thats why I shit on company time
Dyslexicbirch
Girls bathrooms usely either have nothing or phone numbers
ItWasIWhoFarted
Or insults. In any case theres TP on the floor and a tampon wrapper in the bowl.
tarataqa
You have wrapped tampons? Damn, aren't you FANCY?!
ItWasIWhoFarted
They're wrapped in plastic. We don't really gave applicators though. Gotta stick em up there with your finger.
tarataqa
Can I use someone else's finger? ;)
ItWasIWhoFarted
Whatever floats your goat.
user153530
A shithouse poet when he dies,has erected in the skies. A monument to suit his wit. A thousand feet of solid shit.
DownvoteIsTheNewUpvote
"for a good time, call - NA NA FO, FA FA FO, EY NA FO FA"
ilhares
This helps give a fairly clear timeline of when it happened. Was a time we didn't worry about the area codes.
notthesameasmyotheraccountss
But there's 10 numbers there...
ilhares
Exactly - thus it would have been written AFTER area codes became a necessity in small areas.
apfelstrudelmakesmehappy
Those girls bathroom quotes are something I've never ever experienced. Be nice if it was. Usually there's more swearing involved.
iwantkandi
Swearing and period jokes
ItWasIWhoFarted
Only saw it once when someone turned an insult into something nice and more went along.
BeanMugged
Here I sit, broken hearted. Tried to shit, but only farted. Tried to fart, but only pissed. Thinking of that girl I kissed.
DontLurkAtMyBanana
Took a pill, went to drill, coped a feel only to discover my Sargeant wasn't so chill
realGeorgelucas
In restrooms you need to pay to use "Here I sit, broken hearted. Paid a penny, only farted"
magik360720
Here I sit all broken hearted had to shit but only farted, later on I took a chance tried to fart but shit my pants.
vampirehedgehog
Here I sit in stinky vapor. Some asshole stole the toilet paper. Shall I lie? Shall I linger? Or am I forced to use my finger?
JohnnyLawlessEsq
Here I stand with a broken heart. There was a whole lot more than I thought to that fart.
bliblablu350
.
PeteZarolls
Construction job-"Here I sit, tired and dirty. Trying to shit until 3:30." "There you sit, dirty and tired. Come 3:30 your ass is fired."
DoubleSecretAgent
Justboredtobehere
That's a different version than I'm familiar with..... mine clearly form the pay toilet era...... 1/2
Justboredtobehere
...2/2 Here I sit, broken hearted. Tried to shit, but only farted. Next time I'll take a chance, save my dime and shit my pants.
Justboredtobehere
Also... "If your shaft is short and your pump is weak, stand close to the toilet or you'll piss on your feet."
CorySnyder
“Here I sit, cheeks a-flexin, giving birth to a baby Texan.” Weeds by Jenji kohan anyone?
jumper34017
Here I sit, hangin my mooner, giving birth to an OU Sooner
CTlawman
Did you hear about the Texan who was so big they couldn't find a coffin to fit him in? S o they gave the corpse an enema /1
CTlawman
and buried him in a shoebox. /2
Peepsmoss
I leaned it here I sit, broken hearted, tried to shit but only farted, then one day I took a chance, I tried to fart and shit my pants
Peepsmoss
Learned*
PhireHandy
This works if you pronounce chance as chance, but not if you pronounce chance as chance
B99Reactions
Its data, not data
dogsarebetterthanhuman
But even if you pronounce as chance, itll still work if you pronounce pants as pants instead of pants
fordon
P a a a nts .... yikes.
ausernamewhat
Those who write upon these walls, roll their shit in lil balls. Those who read these lines o wit shall eat those lil balls o shit.
CloseupCaptionReaction
Doh!
VagisilToothpaste
I mean, it rhymes...but what the fuck does it even mean? Or, what is it getting at?