RomeoZeroRomeo
68384
1553
48
I always ask my wife if she wants to hate me when I put something big in my pockets. Last weekend was comic con. I carried a whole-ass nalgene bottle in one of my pockets.
I need to get me a sword. Good thing ren faire is next weekend.
Idk, it was 105° yesterday and I sure as hell didn't feel like committing any crimes that didn't involve cold showers and AC.
That's the great thing about lazy coworkers: they make the rest of us look really good by comparison.
These are the kind of things they don't teach you in American history classes.
I'd go to this wedding in a heartbeat.
Merry Christmas in July, everyone
Ziti the Kenyan sand boa tax. Thank you all for stopping by, and I hope you enjoyed or suffered appropriately.
plainoldfool
#2 I'm a cargo shorts guy and my wife encourages it. I'm her pockets.
kaeldra
#9 Jesus Christ this show made me cry more than once.
DoseOfScience
#11 Remember, a mountain of politician corpses is a small price/step toward a better future.
epledryyk
and these days you can walk faster than all of 'em can run, so it should be pretty easy
oldguyexlurker
#28 Co-worker once asked why I was sitting at my desk with my face a couple inches from the screen. Told her I broke my glasses the previous night and they were being repaired at the shop down the street. She asked how I got to work (40mi drive into downtown Phoenix.) Told her, "I drove. The big blurs were cars, the little blurs were probably motorcycles, and anything else was pretty much on its own..." She backed out slowly... Well, the blur got smaller and I couldn't hear her anymore.
RomeoZeroRomeo
Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. It's a good thing none of the big blurs came at you with flashing red and blue blurs
drduffer
#16 How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only 1, but the lightbulb has to want to change.
NateintheNorth
I'd heard the narcissist one as: "Just one but they don't twist it. They just hold the lightbulb and the world revolves around them."
fartharder
#9
IShouldReallyMakeAnAccountSoICanFavoritePosts
#7 I would like everyone to know that Mr. Krabs is now Ms. Krabs. Thank you and have a nice day :).
TI99Kitty
I think your video is missing. "Open in new tab" just opens a blank page, and "Save video as" just saves a 0 byte file.
IShouldReallyMakeAnAccountSoICanFavoritePosts
Oh, that's weird, it's just a picture of male vs female crab anatomy.
dirtmarker
#18 next level humor here.
sinbaddybad
#31 I feel seen
Heavenissize17socks
"Cats. Cats are nice."
Syovere
#37 You wanna read the names in the left column again? because *wow* that one's flagrantly racist
Cap2000
Racism is the belief in racial superiority I'm not sure I see that there
Syovere
Second name in the left column is an overt stereotype name that would've been considered crass decades ago. Racism manifests in more than just overt "white power" bullshit, there's subtler ways too - not that this is even remotely subtle.
IAmJustTryingToFitIn
Not to mention the "weaponization" of autism. Both of these speak to the creator's beliefs quite a bit.
ExTechOp
The current state of the article on Uncyclopedia: https://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Finno-Korean_hyperwar
PainGwen
#14 I use an app called How We Feel to name and explore my emotions as needed, and it records the weather at the time I log a feeling. I looked at graphs of the last three months and all my high energy negative records occurred at high temps (above 80F), and all of my positive records or plain lowkey sad records occurred at temps below 80F. I’m curious to see how it goes throughout the summer and into autumn/winter.
CheeeseGremlin
#2 this is why I bought the Samsung flip
Marikhen
My S22+ can hide in these pockets: https://www.amazon.com/Dickies-Womens-Perfect-Straight-Stretch/dp/B083XTNHQC
eleonorae
I love Ziti.
RomeoZeroRomeo
We do too. She's a sweetheart. Even in 99% of the time it seems like we're just caring for a tub of dirt.
eleonorae
What does she eat?
RomeoZeroRomeo
Pinky mice
chefsoda
#9 The bottom left corner is one of the sweetest and most creative moments of a truly sweet & creative show.
Ithinkimbetterthanyousometimes
You could say that about each frame
RomeoZeroRomeo
It was one hell of a show, that's for sure
IrrelevantHandle
The top right corner is my favourite of the gooey episodes; existence doesn't need to be forever to be valuable.
chefsoda
That episode made me hate Fry enough to stop watching for months. I've watched them as LL more than once, but never that episode again.
IrrelevantHandle
Fry was barely in Lethal Inspection?
chefsoda
Sorry, you're absolutely correct, I was looking at the left & thinking of Jurrasic Bark. Lethal Inspection was lovely
brownribbon
#5 lol
koalamonster
#28 the number of patients that I've seen that have told me they don't want to wear glasses because then they feel like they get dependent on them is bonkers. Worse when it's a kid and a parent says they don't want them to wear them because it's going to make their vision worse and then they'll have to wear them long term- people are... confusing.
skathir
#45 Damn. You're not wrong.
GandalfTheTeal
#46 Took way too long to realise that said mechanical bull... I think. I can only see me-cal bull
RomeoZeroRomeo
Mezcal bull, perhaps?
OmNachoMama
#14 Souxie and the Banshees 92 degrees https://genius.com/Siouxsie-and-the-banshees-92-lyrics
folded13
https://genius.com/Suzanne-vega-999-f-lyrics
AveryverySadBear
#27 okay, but Spiderman vs godzilla would be so coooool
RomeoZeroRomeo
I'd watch it
AveryverySadBear
Like think about it. Radiation isnt much against spiderman. And like, hes super strong and fast. The halfway through the movie they have to team up to defeat the green goblin riding mothra like his little hover scooter
RomeoZeroRomeo
Beautiful
NBRI
#3 😂😂😂😂😂😂
TheOnlyPtylerdactyl
#36 there was an extremely brief slice of time where swords were so good, and guns were so inaccurate and slow to reload, they were basically on a level playing field. These conditions are favorable to weebing
tallweed
As I recall, Oda Nobunaga used guns for an advantage then prohibited them after he won. In the 1800s farmers had to request permission to use firearms to kill wild boar in Hokkaido that devoured their crops (Lost Wolves of Japan by Bret Walker).
SometimesISayHistoryStuff
Fun period of time when you got the early cuirassiers, schwarze reiters, and demi-lancers who just went into battle with 3 to 5 loaded guns shoot all of them once, and then leveled their lances and charged.
parabolic000
The Highland charge as well! One of the reasons some commanders thought the plug bayonet was a better weapon than the musket itself.
pgdave
Swords didn't really compete with guns, though. Bows and crossbows did. Swords were used militarily into the early 1900's.
rainehdaze
Plus the four hundredish years of coexistence between samurai and firearms covers a wide range of attitudes. The sengoku jidai is a very different situation to the most isolationist extremes of the edo period.
Daarst
Swords were never even the best non-firearm weapon. That title belongs to spears/polearms. If you can reliably put a hole in the other guy before he can even try to put a hole in you then you have a huge upper hand.
Pyrowolf1
I think it depends on the type of combat. Lined up in ranks? Sure. One on one type skirmishes, I think the spear/pole arm isn't nimble enough to beat a sword
blackcat360
Nope spear and polearms will beat a sword even one on one. A sword is like a pistol they are easier to carry and keep on you daily. It’s not what you would want if you had a choice.
Pyrowolf1
You know, I went and looked some arguments up and I can totally buy that.
CaptainThePirate
#1 it’s always a wang.
RomeoZeroRomeo
Or boobs. Or profanity.
Lassannn
My shortest friend is also the fattest, so gym goals...
anjeleyezjr
My shortest (and only) friends are my dogs. I will not be throwing them.
StoopKidAfraidToLeaveHisStoop
#25 I love skrim
maxthyme
#7
copperdomebodhi
#13 Each of the four corners has one flagpole flying five flags. Or, each corner has five minarets, each with one flagpole flying one flag .
Boksha
Read it again. It unambiguously states that the castle has 5 flags, not each corner having 5 flags.
The simplest solution is 3 of the minarets have 1 flag, and the 4th minaret flies 2 flags.
copperdomebodhi
Ah, but "its five flags" could mean "the five flags that represent the castle," not, "the only five flags on the premises."
randomwalrus
Rationalize all you want, we all saw you fail that sanity roll. Just accept your failure, and go drink the moat water.
MinervaMeThis
Or the corners meet at the center to make up the roof so there's a flag in each corner of the square plus the pointy center.
Revyloution
All the other shit posting can gtfo. Elegant solution citizen!
WesTerallo324
keillrandor
It turns out that there was a minaret in the middle, too...
Revyloution
That was my first guess, but I realized it was wrong. Specifically says flying at the corners.
keillrandor
But can that description be trusted to begin with? :P
OwlFarm
It's just a White Castle. The flags represent the 5 steam holes in the patties.
StoopKidAfraidToLeaveHisStoop
#30 nah we should all be doing the BFM(bare fucking minimum) . Technically meet the standard of duties as described in their Ken literature, they are doing that to you. I inherently work at a fast pace and I know it’s only fucked me more than anything. I’ve conditioned myself over the years to slow down to a speed that matches my hourly pay, which I weigh against average costs of survival, not cost of living(which is an insane fucking term we just started allowing), but cost of SURVIVAL. 1/
StoopKidAfraidToLeaveHisStoop
If what I make in a month isn’t remotely proportionate to cost of not dying, they will get what they pay for.
StoopKidAfraidToLeaveHisStoop
I should specify this refers to service industry jobs, retail, anything where they can milk your desperation until your udders go dry and you go to the abbatoir and the guy you trained takes your spot and your stress. The fuck man we got life so wrong. Way before capitalism became the new religion. But late stage is ominous, I can’t see where we’re headed, but I don’t see anything promising
StoopKidAfraidToLeaveHisStoop
*own literature
januskincaid
#5 NGL I don't get it. Explain please?
RomeoZeroRomeo
You know the Christmas tradition of putting an elf on a shelf and moving it around your house? If not, it is in fact a thing. But "elf" is how you pronounce "11" in German. Might also be how you spell it, but I don't know off the top of my head.
januskincaid
Ah, just completely blanked that, thanks. Ich sprechen nur ein bisschen Deutsch.
ironymus
11 gets indeed written as Elf
RomeoZeroRomeo
Thank you