People saying she'll remember this forever, you're really just saying this dad is so shitty that this is like the one time he will ever comfort her. What you see him so, the BARE MINIMUM is a good father probably is doing this every week or day at that age. She's not going to remember this at all if he's a good dad bc this is "Tuesday" for her.
I love the initial intention. It does seem like he let the praise get to him and stole the show a bit. Parenting is such a human activity. It's so hard to get it right all the time. Hindsight is such a bugger. I wonder if this experience will teach his daughter or the other girls to feign fear/incompetence for attention or if it will serve as a lifelong reminder that community and love persist during our struggles and can help us through.
Eh, everyone here be like "she will remember this forever" which is only true if the dad otherwise NEVER comforts his daughter. For an involved father, he's has to calm her down multiple times a week like this, and this is only special bc like nine cameras probably for him doing this on camera
My Mom & sister owned ballet schools. I danced my whole life. I would have been so pissed if some parent took it upon themselves to join their daughter on stage! Kids have to learn if you're going on stage one gas to be prepared. The instructor & father should have never put up there!
My sister is a dance teacher and let me tell you, the kids this age are already on point and super focused because the whole show is great and she is an awesome teacher. I guess this could still happen, they are kids after all, but she cherishes them so much during the year that they come in prepared and locked in.
This. Jesus Christ, lotta ppl without kids here like aww he's making sure she remains in the place that terrified her while also drawing all the attention away from the actual dancers at THEIR recital.
What in the hay.. this is just wrong. Hops right up in front, picks her up and and joins in when she clearly doesnt want to be there and is overwhelmed. Further traumatized his daughter and not only interupted the recital but forced himself into it. This is not a feel good story and the fact that no one here seems to recognize this is disturbing but okay then.. time to take a break from this and delete the app.
It's cute on it's face, but if you have any kind of experience with kids or recitals, you'll know this was a suboptimal response. I can't really blame him for not being perfect, but I will criticize people HERE who miss it
If she's crying on stage, maybe wonder if you've put too much pressure on her, or failed to see all the pressure she's under. That's very cute and all, but he could have gone AROUND the other performers...
I don’t know man. Seems like the girl has to learn, however difficult, to push through that. Even if she can’t at that time and it’s a bad experience, maybe the teacher should help instead. Having parents come out on the stage just doesn’t seem right to me.
I get the sentiment, and maybe it’s the right decision but seems a bit too much for me. Again, sure I’m probably wrong but just doesn’t sit right with me.
This is my take, but it's borderline. I grew up on stage and that's how I feel, and if my daughter (who dances at this age, as did he older sister who is painfully shy) cried, I would stay in my seat, but it would be tough to do.
You feel this way, because we were taught exactly what you said: No matter how frightened you are - you need to push through and handle it on your own and DON´T YOU DARE asking for help.
But this is not healthy, not for us as adults and even less for our kids. I am so happy for that little girl, that she got the support she needed. And I hope we all will be able to heal.
Maybe the phrase push through it isn’t right. But at what point do you start teaching some level of self reliance. Maybe that’s not the right phrase either.
In one sense it’s really cool the dad did that. Shows a lot of balls. But that can’t be the response for every parent for every kid that cries. Is that ok at 5, or at 7, or at 10. I know it’s hypothetical but what is the right age to have to learn how to do things with your peers. I don’t know. Just doesn’t sit right with me.
You establish patterns of behavior at this age. She can handle a little adversity. As you said, she's four.v you're underestimating preschoolers resilience
This is why it's a good idea to be high when attending. Makes it easier to just rush the stage and dance around like you're part of the show, heightening the sense of humiliation already experienced by the oldest child in the act. Grab HER hand at some point too, if you can. Make sure she knows the chance she took going up there doesn't mean anything to you.
You see this and your first instinct is to mock the dad and accuse him of being on drugs. Im sorry that seeing such love makes you resentful to the point you have to lash out at others.
With buying the booz? I'm all set with that. Oh you mean getting a ride? I figure I start drinking AT the auditorium, and then just kind of hang around after the show until I sober up enough to drive back home. But thanks!
That might have been what set her off. Maybe her partner couldn't make the performance. And when she realised that she started crying. Would explain what happened.
she is not a BOMB !!! she is a little girl . not everybody is born for the stage . and he is an AWESOME DAD .... maybe if you had a dad like that you would not say things like that
No. It was just pure stage fright. You can see the teacher wave over the kid who would have been her partner. Kids are not that complex. If someone was missing, it would have been addressed before they got on stage. Not left for a 6 year old to figure out on their own.
If you are the Main Character, you get on that stage and do the dance your daughter should've been doing. No other human does that. Only people living vicariously through their children do that. Only people starring in a Hallmark film do that.
"No, you don't get it, the audience doesn't mind." - website that constantly upvotes posts about Bystander Effect and Increase in Passive-aggressive Reactions in Society doesn't understand how the crowd mentality works
"That girl will remember this her whole life." - yes, as the time she didn't want to do something so she was filmed crying and blasted across America in memes that went viral... do any of you listen to yourselves? You post pics of your baby on Facebook don't you?
Yes, but the important thing is that the kids seem to still be having fun. Except his, but she's still getting to be part of it. And the kids are the only ones who matter.
Seems he read the room well. Before this recital he could've been there for all the dance classes before this, so the crowd knew them... And, you heard how he impacted it with the crowd's cheers.
And I think many or most parents can relate to wanting to be able to help very young kids in situations like this. He actually did and he did well.
Yeah I'm not sure this was the best move on his part. I'm sure he had no intention of it but he just stole this moment from all those other kids and made the whole thing about him. It probably would have been better if he'd taken her off-stage to comfort her or maybe stood off to the side and encouraged her. But then again the crowd doesn't seem to mind so I guess no harm, no foul.
No me either. He absolutely should have gone to his daughter and helped her and I really doubt it occurred to him that he was stealing focus. He just wanted to help his daughter when she needed him. Can't fault him for that
I've been to these things. 95% of the crowd has loved ones performing some other time. But there might be four families upset bc they're directly impacted. These things aren't cheap either. Could be over $100 for a little kid costume that gets worn once. Yeah it's insane but for some families, that's how they spend their small discretionary income. And now it might have been a waste.
EXACTLY. They were in the back... it's not like they came up to the front of the stage and stole the show. I really doubt if any of the other kids had a problem with it sounds like an emotional adult collapse to me. I say they should roll with it, find the good in it, and quit being a bunch of Karens.
Im not worried about the play itself, beyond the experience for the families, im more worried about how uneasy a small child would be with a grown man approaching the stage.
God damn our culture has fucked up men. The patriarchy hurts men as much as women. There is NO REASON why this was in any way even a tiny bit threatening except you've been indoctrinated to believe that male caregiving is an aberration and I'm so sorry that you have internalized that. I'm a mother of 2 and this would never have even crossed my mind.
My man, you started saying you were worried about the play, then said you were actually worried about the kids unease, then said it was your own unease behind your comments. I'm thinking you may not be aware of what's behind your feelings here.
Right, but im sure other parents wouldnt want a random guy to be on stage with their kids, additionally it could the performers to worry during the performance, and distress is something I try to avoid inducing in others if I can.
Comforting the child is more important than comforting some adults, if they are too egoistic to step back, they don't deserve it anyway. But the audience seems to love it, so it's best outcome for everyone here.
and regardless, you can guarantee two things: 1. his daughter is going to remember that gesture the rest of her life. and 2. likely a ton of other girls there on that stage are deep down thinking "I wish my dad was like that"
True, I was watching that and thinking, how lucky is that girl that she has a savior father ... AND SHE KNOWS IT. She is hugging him so tightly for safety.
My father thought it was funny to show off to his friends that he could make me cry just by looking at me.
No matter how any of the dancers or attendees feel, you're right, that child needed their daddy.
As a single father of a 13 and 15 year old, they really have forgotten the vast majority of embarrassing sacrifices I made for them. And I’m ok with that when I see them making sacrifices for others.
I got punished for not wanting to run at the minimum recovery time for my appendectomy. It had BARELY healed and my PE teacher called my mom complaining I wasn't running yet so my mom spanked me and grounded me and told me I better be running tomorrow. It took another month before it fully healed.
Why? Did you come here to watch a perfect piece of choreography like it's Broadway? Or did you come to see your kid share something with you? How does that guy helping his own kid detracts from that?
Maybe you should view it from a different angle and see it as an opportunity for your kid and you to remember that the beauty and unpredictability of life means that it can't always be about just you two, but instead about a community of people who will sometimes interrupt the show in order to help both you or your kid. Have a good day, sir. :)
I remember my kid at this age doing this, and for me, it was just the joy of having them enjoy being on stage. I don't think this would have changed that.
This is what support for a ND child looks like. Not only does this kid look like the smallest, it clearly isn't coping. It shouldn't have to leave the stage. Everyone hates these things except the 3 worst kids in the school.
I think your thinking is American. What happens in the video is pretty common here in Nordics. Everyone likes it because they know some of sad. No American "me, me, me, me and nobody else!" Nonsense.
Poor emotional regulation would be to act on the anger. Not feeling anger in the first place. We're human. Humans have emotions. Anger isn't even the right emotion for this anyway.
As a mother.... the fuck is wrong with you? A father giving emotional support, while preserving her joy on stage? That pusses you off? Why? He's in the back, the other children are preforming just fine. What the bmcx b mbkkxkdxxxxxkz hell is this "Let them suffer so they don't interupt my video" with... a wholesome, and emotional moment that will live on in both of their memories forever?
There, I left in my toddlers interruption of you reading this comment. Just for you.
Right? It's toddler dance. This shit isn't a competition or anything. Christ it's a miracle if you can get them all on stage moving in the same direction to begin with.
thats the other parents emotional baggage. if they want their pride and joy to be happy despite what any other child is going throught, it is their right to be a douchecanoe. as a dad id be delighted to see a dad put his childs comfort over the cringe of getting up on stage.
Not the other parents, the other performers. Imagine going to a dance class everyday fir weeks, you got your cool outfit on and you're ready to do the thing, only to have fat dad get all the cheers. It's no longer about you or your peers, its a heartwarming moment for two other people.
The answer is not "fuck the other kids and their parents.* That's it's a group project. Go up, find your kid, calm them, advocate they go back out, accept if they won't, and stay the fuck out of the way of other people's joy.
Other people's joy lol. If you play back that video and you find the man dancing with his child "irritating" instead of heartwarming... then I bet my last dime you're a whiney trumper. Me Me Me... Don't tread on me.
I think the question is whether to gather your child and then get offstage, or dance for your child in the performance? Nobody is advocating to leave the girl crying alone onstage. But both the little girl and the other children and parents may have been happier if the father simply took her backstage and comforted her there
That might be the question, but the answer here is simple - what he did was totally fine and supported by the folks there. Not to mention that we've got video proof that he wasn't a distraction to the other kids and so don't need to speculate based on personal feelings based on memories we don't have from that age.
"and the other parents feel maybe if you and your daughter went away, it would be better for everyone without you there" this is one of the reasons society is as shit as it is today, the belief you have to "fit in for the crowd to be comfortable" rather than just being a good person. fuck conformity.
I think the context of the show is the main factor. Child dancing olympics? Yeah, maybe don't go on stage. School play or dancing for beginners? Appropriate. The crowd sounded super supportive, so I'm leaning towards the latter.
I know myself as a child, him being there would have made it harder for me to focus and I think that's what the comments are mentioning, it may not seem like a "huge deal" to the parents because it isn't "the Olympics" but there is potential impact on the kids still on stage
People have gotten into full-blown brawls over tee ball games and kid games at birthday parties, you never know how some parents are going to react to shit.
And that's extra true for anything related to sports or competitions, there's a LOT of crazy parents trying to live vicariously through their kids or trying to turn them into a child prodigy superstar.
DecapodianSaysWoopWoopWoopWoop
My brovaries...
LittleDragon
My brother wouldn't even pick up his kids after they turned 2.
madmax17
lool brave guy.
Chaapai
That's more parenting g and support in 5 mi Utes than my father has given me in 57 years of life.
liquidriddle
So jealous of this little girl and the support system she has
minionsandbananas
100% DAD
Marcolorn
Awwwwwwwwwww.
shitheadtookmyname
People saying she'll remember this forever, you're really just saying this dad is so shitty that this is like the one time he will ever comfort her. What you see him so, the BARE MINIMUM is a good father probably is doing this every week or day at that age. She's not going to remember this at all if he's a good dad bc this is "Tuesday" for her.
SpecialIdiot
Father of the year ladies & gentlemen
starkeclipse
I love the initial intention. It does seem like he let the praise get to him and stole the show a bit. Parenting is such a human activity. It's so hard to get it right all the time. Hindsight is such a bugger. I wonder if this experience will teach his daughter or the other girls to feign fear/incompetence for attention or if it will serve as a lifelong reminder that community and love persist during our struggles and can help us through.
ImAMomWhatsYourSuperpower
I don´t think a kid that gets this kind of love and safety from their dad would NEED feigning anything for attention.
shitheadtookmyname
Eh, everyone here be like "she will remember this forever" which is only true if the dad otherwise NEVER comforts his daughter. For an involved father, he's has to calm her down multiple times a week like this, and this is only special bc like nine cameras probably for him doing this on camera
ImAMomWhatsYourSuperpower
I think her reaction tells a story: She is used to getting comforted by him.
And I don´t think she will remember this specific action, but she WILL remember hw it feels to be safe and loved.
As for the cameras - there will be far more than 9, because everyone is recording their kid during stuff like this.
betmcc19721
My Mom & sister owned ballet schools. I danced my whole life. I would have been so pissed if some parent took it upon themselves to join their daughter on stage! Kids have to learn if you're going on stage one gas to be prepared. The instructor & father should have never put up there!
Daemencer
My sister is a dance teacher and let me tell you, the kids this age are already on point and super focused because the whole show is great and she is an awesome teacher. I guess this could still happen, they are kids after all, but she cherishes them so much during the year that they come in prepared and locked in.
ItsACrazyWorld
No.. dont do this.. take the child and leave the stage.. you are only making it worse.
shitheadtookmyname
This. Jesus Christ, lotta ppl without kids here like aww he's making sure she remains in the place that terrified her while also drawing all the attention away from the actual dancers at THEIR recital.
dtvetter
I'm not crying. You're crying
Zixtank
That ain't just a father. That's a dad.
itZujones6
Beautiful
Badgerbadgerson3
That's gonna be a formative memory for her.
shitheadtookmyname
As someone with kids this age, no she literally won't even remember it the next day. Hell, probably forgotten by bed time
CharlesTooke
For me, too. And I'm 70!
hill4KittenVillain
What in the hay.. this is just wrong. Hops right up in front, picks her up and and joins in when she clearly doesnt want to be there and is overwhelmed. Further traumatized his daughter and not only interupted the recital but forced himself into it. This is not a feel good story and the fact that no one here seems to recognize this is disturbing but okay then.. time to take a break from this and delete the app.
shitheadtookmyname
It's cute on it's face, but if you have any kind of experience with kids or recitals, you'll know this was a suboptimal response. I can't really blame him for not being perfect, but I will criticize people HERE who miss it
DarksteelPenguin
You do not know what upset the kid, nor what she said to him when he picked her up. You're making an awful lot of assumptions here.
Jamnew60
Good Dad Award.
YippeeKayakOB
100%
TonyDiethelm
If she's crying on stage, maybe wonder if you've put too much pressure on her, or failed to see all the pressure she's under. That's very cute and all, but he could have gone AROUND the other performers...
Bis67
💪🏼🇧🇷
TheFastpaws
That is a good dad!
PuppyBella
What a wonderful parent. So many would just whisk a child off stage. Darn it is dusty in this room...
shitheadtookmyname
Stage scared her. So let's keep her there. /s
BendOverAndIllShowYa
I don’t know man. Seems like the girl has to learn, however difficult, to push through that. Even if she can’t at that time and it’s a bad experience, maybe the teacher should help instead. Having parents come out on the stage just doesn’t seem right to me.
I get the sentiment, and maybe it’s the right decision but seems a bit too much for me. Again, sure I’m probably wrong but just doesn’t sit right with me.
shitheadtookmyname
This is my take, but it's borderline. I grew up on stage and that's how I feel, and if my daughter (who dances at this age, as did he older sister who is painfully shy) cried, I would stay in my seat, but it would be tough to do.
ImAMomWhatsYourSuperpower
You feel this way, because we were taught exactly what you said: No matter how frightened you are - you need to push through and handle it on your own and DON´T YOU DARE asking for help.
But this is not healthy, not for us as adults and even less for our kids. I am so happy for that little girl, that she got the support she needed. And I hope we all will be able to heal.
DameDePiques
She's a 4yo for fuck's sake! She has time to learn to "push through it" when she's older.
BendOverAndIllShowYa
Maybe the phrase push through it isn’t right. But at what point do you start teaching some level of self reliance. Maybe that’s not the right phrase either.
In one sense it’s really cool the dad did that. Shows a lot of balls. But that can’t be the response for every parent for every kid that cries. Is that ok at 5, or at 7, or at 10. I know it’s hypothetical but what is the right age to have to learn how to do things with your peers. I don’t know. Just doesn’t sit right with me.
shitheadtookmyname
You establish patterns of behavior at this age. She can handle a little adversity. As you said, she's four.v you're underestimating preschoolers resilience
BastardMan1977
Dad level 100
rolliefingers
This is why it's a good idea to be high when attending. Makes it easier to just rush the stage and dance around like you're part of the show, heightening the sense of humiliation already experienced by the oldest child in the act. Grab HER hand at some point too, if you can. Make sure she knows the chance she took going up there doesn't mean anything to you.
gandalfgandalf
Are you ok?
ThatOtherGirlYouKnow
https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1NjNhZnQ3eTM2NDdodXZldXpwdWY0c21pNmNwY3N2dWttb3h5ZjQ3NSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/UpELDJaNeHTHRWh6r6/200w.webp
SatansRepairDroid
You see this and your first instinct is to mock the dad and accuse him of being on drugs. Im sorry that seeing such love makes you resentful to the point you have to lash out at others.
rolliefingers
Ok well I still think it's a good idea to be drunk at school performances. I really don't see how anyone could argue with that.
BastardMan1977
Wow you actually doubled down on the stupid. Yikes.
RestlessVagabond
Why do you like being drunk around children? Creep.
Arbitrarynamehere
Seek help
rolliefingers
With buying the booz? I'm all set with that. Oh you mean getting a ride? I figure I start drinking AT the auditorium, and then just kind of hang around after the show until I sober up enough to drive back home. But thanks!
Jimthebutler
Not legal in some places. Being drunk in a school is illegal in all U.S. states.
ThatOtherGirlYouKnow
https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1NjNhZnQ3eTM2NDdodXZldXpwdWY0c21pNmNwY3N2dWttb3h5ZjQ3NSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/8YEeD1WB5FeyAiONoe/200w.webp
SciencePetsComputers
That's not a healthy coping mechanism at all.
FraudulentPepsi
Would she have not had a dance partner?
HelgavonLichtenstein
She did. The instructor noticed the dad was comforting his daughter and danced with the dance partner so she wouldn't be alone.
Targe0
That might have been what set her off.
Maybe her partner couldn't make the performance.
And when she realised that she started crying.
Would explain what happened.
minionsandbananas
she is not a BOMB !!! she is a little girl . not everybody is born for the stage . and he is an AWESOME DAD .... maybe if you had a dad like that you would not say things like that
slinkiisu
Dude what they said was entirely reasonable, children can be upset by things not working out like they expected.
aristera
No. It was just pure stage fright. You can see the teacher wave over the kid who would have been her partner. Kids are not that complex. If someone was missing, it would have been addressed before they got on stage. Not left for a 6 year old to figure out on their own.
iambutton812
I think the older one, teacher, maybe? Stepped in to partner with the child who would have been her partner.
MrsHowVeryDareYou
Eh, kids this age are set off for the most bizarre things - logic does not apply.
ThanosDei
Yeah but that dude went to the dance recital alone…
CreeewDeeeTaaay
Is that even his daughter?
Targe0
Well he did take her home, so she is now.
DaveTheScientist
Damnit you beat me to it. *Golf clap*
Lowland
Ok dude, I giggled
huellbabineaux911
He knows the moves though
NZSheeps
He is a regular attendee
Pilgrymm
ByThePowerOfSCIENCE
reminds me of:
— which one is yours?
— oh, I haven't decided yet
ItsCaptain0bvious
"Which one is yours?" - "Haven't decided yet"
SexGolem
"This one has a good heft."
Jimthebutler
I would be worried about impacting the play for the sake of other children and their parents.
Necrothean
This.
If you are the Main Character, you get on that stage and do the dance your daughter should've been doing. No other human does that. Only people living vicariously through their children do that. Only people starring in a Hallmark film do that.
Only people with Main Character Disease.
Necrothean
"No, you don't get it, the audience doesn't mind." - website that constantly upvotes posts about Bystander Effect and Increase in Passive-aggressive Reactions in Society doesn't understand how the crowd mentality works
"That girl will remember this her whole life." - yes, as the time she didn't want to do something so she was filmed crying and blasted across America in memes that went viral... do any of you listen to yourselves? You post pics of your baby on Facebook don't you?
NickRivieraMD
as you can see, it has made it better, in no small part thanks to the older kid who stepped in to partner with the now unpartnered dancer.
Targe0
Yeah, but as you can hear, the crowed is into it.
Plus he's staying at the back not getting in the way of the others.
iambutton812
He does get involved and breaks their circle from going slowly around the stage later in the video.
Targe0
Yes, but the important thing is that the kids seem to still be having fun.
Except his, but she's still getting to be part of it.
And the kids are the only ones who matter.
WigglyBlondeNoodle
Then they should use this as a lesson in performance: that anything can happen and you still have to perform.
W0lfsbl00d
Seems he read the room well. Before this recital he could've been there for all the dance classes before this, so the crowd knew them... And, you heard how he impacted it with the crowd's cheers.
And I think many or most parents can relate to wanting to be able to help very young kids in situations like this. He actually did and he did well.
Rihn
I'm glad I don't worry about such things.
Jimthebutler
That sounds comforting. I hope you enjoy your peace of mind.
Asuicidallemursgotmygun
Yeah I'm not sure this was the best move on his part. I'm sure he had no intention of it but he just stole this moment from all those other kids and made the whole thing about him. It probably would have been better if he'd taken her off-stage to comfort her or maybe stood off to the side and encouraged her. But then again the crowd doesn't seem to mind so I guess no harm, no foul.
Jimthebutler
I dont blame him for doing so, I just would be reluctant to approach it in the same way.
Asuicidallemursgotmygun
No me either. He absolutely should have gone to his daughter and helped her and I really doubt it occurred to him that he was stealing focus. He just wanted to help his daughter when she needed him. Can't fault him for that
gronzilla
He did no such thing. It's all in your mind
shitheadtookmyname
I've been to these things. 95% of the crowd has loved ones performing some other time. But there might be four families upset bc they're directly impacted. These things aren't cheap either. Could be over $100 for a little kid costume that gets worn once. Yeah it's insane but for some families, that's how they spend their small discretionary income. And now it might have been a waste.
queernosaur
Honestly who the hell cares it's a children's performance. The literal only goal is for them to have a good time
hmmmfascinating
EXACTLY. They were in the back... it's not like they came up to the front of the stage and stole the show. I really doubt if any of the other kids had a problem with it sounds like an emotional adult collapse to me. I say they should roll with it, find the good in it, and quit being a bunch of Karens.
Jimthebutler
Right, and that could be impacted by a grown man approaching the stage.
Einbrecher
The projection is strong with this one.
queernosaur
It seems like people in the comment section are more concerned than the rest of the kids seem to be
bolobass
*someone's dad. And no.
DaveTheScientist
The... play? Do you think there is some narrative being lost because now he isn't in perfect sync with the other girls? This isn't exactly Broadway.
Jimthebutler
Im not worried about the play itself, beyond the experience for the families, im more worried about how uneasy a small child would be with a grown man approaching the stage.
DaveTheScientist
It doesn't look like most of the kids even noticed. I think your unease may be misplaced.
Jimthebutler
Maybe, and if so, its a great thing I wasnt the one in the situation this man was in.
Valharroth
Man this is some weird pearl clutching you're peddling.
Jimthebutler
Im not saying he shouldn't have done this, im saying I wouldnt be comfortable approaching the stage in the same way.
textilelover
God damn our culture has fucked up men. The patriarchy hurts men as much as women. There is NO REASON why this was in any way even a tiny bit threatening except you've been indoctrinated to believe that male caregiving is an aberration and I'm so sorry that you have internalized that. I'm a mother of 2 and this would never have even crossed my mind.
DaveTheScientist
My man, you started saying you were worried about the play, then said you were actually worried about the kids unease, then said it was your own unease behind your comments. I'm thinking you may not be aware of what's behind your feelings here.
Feralkyn
They're like 5 or 6, this isn't a performance that's gonna be appreciated on the merits of their ability lol.
Jimthebutler
Right, but im sure other parents wouldnt want a random guy to be on stage with their kids, additionally it could the performers to worry during the performance, and distress is something I try to avoid inducing in others if I can.
Dybidude5
Comforting the child is more important than comforting some adults, if they are too egoistic to step back, they don't deserve it anyway.
But the audience seems to love it, so it's best outcome for everyone here.
Jimthebutler
I dont blame him for doing as he did, I would just be reluctant to approach the stage in the same way.
Dybidude5
I feel you, I am just an uncle myself, not father, and I might hesitate as well. But we can both learn from this loving man.
nobuduno2
When my wife begins with "I'm sure", I ask her if she "knows" or is she guessing? If you don't ask, you don't "know"
Jimthebutler
Then you are condescending to your wife.
gronzilla
True-ish, but also right about "I'm sure they..." being condescending
Feralkyn
Yeah that was terrible to read damn. poor wife
Whitebeardthepirate
and regardless, you can guarantee two things: 1. his daughter is going to remember that gesture the rest of her life. and 2. likely a ton of other girls there on that stage are deep down thinking "I wish my dad was like that"
MADhouse64
True, I was watching that and thinking, how lucky is that girl that she has a savior father ... AND SHE KNOWS IT. She is hugging him so tightly for safety.
My father thought it was funny to show off to his friends that he could make me cry just by looking at me.
No matter how any of the dancers or attendees feel, you're right, that child needed their daddy.
Whitebeardthepirate
it's also the type of post we need: positive, uplifting. showing there's still some compassion in the world, rather than being worried about image
maxgts911
Probably too young to remember later on.
ImAMomWhatsYourSuperpower
They probably won´t remember this action, but they WILL remember the feeling of safety.
NostraDamnEveryone
As a single father of a 13 and 15 year old, they really have forgotten the vast majority of embarrassing sacrifices I made for them. And I’m ok with that when I see them making sacrifices for others.
Iamtrebek
I wish my dad had been like that. He threatened to leave me at the hospital because I was crying post surgery at age 5.
azazyel
My mom did that to me just at a doctor's office.
IMakeLotsOfReferencesAndRemakes
I got punished for not wanting to run at the minimum recovery time for my appendectomy. It had BARELY healed and my PE teacher called my mom complaining I wasn't running yet so my mom spanked me and grounded me and told me I better be running tomorrow. It took another month before it fully healed.
Whitebeardthepirate
*hugs* you're strong having survived that.
IrishPub
Yeah, I get the sentiment, but as a dad I'd be pissed that some guy is now up dancing on stage.
DarksteelPenguin
Why? Did you come here to watch a perfect piece of choreography like it's Broadway? Or did you come to see your kid share something with you? How does that guy helping his own kid detracts from that?
ArthurBooRadley
Maybe you should view it from a different angle and see it as an opportunity for your kid and you to remember that the beauty and unpredictability of life means that it can't always be about just you two, but instead about a community of people who will sometimes interrupt the show in order to help both you or your kid. Have a good day, sir. :)
prufock
This is what we call a "YOU problem."
ialoneambest
Agreed. Out of respect for the other performers he could have danced his daughter off the stage.
Always leave them wanting more.
textilelover
As a mom who had a kid in recitals, I would have been DELIGHTED.
IrishPub
See, that's the mom factor. I'm stuck in that South Park episode where Stan sees everything as shit.
NickRivieraMD
This you?
momothefifth
what about it would make you pissed? why is "as a dad" your justification for getting pissed?
shitheadtookmyname
Upstaging everyone
dashers
I remember my kid at this age doing this, and for me, it was just the joy of having them enjoy being on stage. I don't think this would have changed that.
IrishPub
You're more understanding than I am I guess. Maybe I'm just becoming more jaded as I get older. Lok
bertchstudio
This is what support for a ND child looks like. Not only does this kid look like the smallest, it clearly isn't coping. It shouldn't have to leave the stage.
Everyone hates these things except the 3 worst kids in the school.
SergeyPrkl
I think your thinking is American. What happens in the video is pretty common here in Nordics. Everyone likes it because they know some of sad. No American "me, me, me, me and nobody else!" Nonsense.
Colopty
An anger response doesn't come across as a symptom of being jaded, seems more like poor emotional regulation.
IrishPub
Poor emotional regulation would be to act on the anger. Not feeling anger in the first place. We're human. Humans have emotions. Anger isn't even the right emotion for this anyway.
WitchIrkalla
As a mother.... the fuck is wrong with you? A father giving emotional support, while preserving her joy on stage? That pusses you off? Why? He's in the back, the other children are preforming just fine. What the bmcx b mbkkxkdxxxxxkz hell is this "Let them suffer so they don't interupt my video" with... a wholesome, and emotional moment that will live on in both of their memories forever?
There, I left in my toddlers interruption of you reading this comment. Just for you.
IrishPub
Sounds like you need to calm down.
BrdCdn
Right? It's toddler dance. This shit isn't a competition or anything. Christ it's a miracle if you can get them all on stage moving in the same direction to begin with.
WitchIrkalla
And it's scary. Being on stage, suddenly in front of a bunch of people. It's no wonder the poor little girl needed her dad.
conlanabu
thats the other parents emotional baggage. if they want their pride and joy to be happy despite what any other child is going throught, it is their right to be a douchecanoe. as a dad id be delighted to see a dad put his childs comfort over the cringe of getting up on stage.
hmmmfascinating
TOU fucking CHÉ https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1aDF0Y2JzbGlkaG55MTJjbTZzM2diYjN3MGRna3V3ZDU4MmZ3NTNmOSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/3oFzmkkwfOGlzZ0gxi/200w.webp
astrangehop
Not the other parents, the other performers. Imagine going to a dance class everyday fir weeks, you got your cool outfit on and you're ready to do the thing, only to have fat dad get all the cheers. It's no longer about you or your peers, its a heartwarming moment for two other people.
normalizebeingalone
It's it the other childs emotional baggage?
shitheadtookmyname
You know the dad could do even better and take his terrified kid off the fuckin stage where everyone wins, right?
EBlade19889
The answer is not "fuck the other kids and their parents.* That's it's a group project. Go up, find your kid, calm them, advocate they go back out, accept if they won't, and stay the fuck out of the way of other people's joy.
hmmmfascinating
Other people's joy lol.
If you play back that video and you find the man dancing with his child "irritating" instead of heartwarming... then I bet my last dime you're a whiney trumper. Me Me Me... Don't tread on me.
yamsonyamsonyams
What a stupid take
Flopdong
I think the question is whether to gather your child and then get offstage, or dance for your child in the performance? Nobody is advocating to leave the girl crying alone onstage. But both the little girl and the other children and parents may have been happier if the father simply took her backstage and comforted her there
conlanabu
so the message for that little girl is : you get emotional you get hidden away? if youre scared youre removed?
lonelyrangerofthedreams
Einbrecher
That might be the question, but the answer here is simple - what he did was totally fine and supported by the folks there. Not to mention that we've got video proof that he wasn't a distraction to the other kids and so don't need to speculate based on personal feelings based on memories we don't have from that age.
Whitebeardthepirate
"and the other parents feel maybe if you and your daughter went away, it would be better for everyone without you there" this is one of the reasons society is as shit as it is today, the belief you have to "fit in for the crowd to be comfortable" rather than just being a good person. fuck conformity.
jamiedBreaker
I think the context of the show is the main factor. Child dancing olympics? Yeah, maybe don't go on stage. School play or dancing for beginners? Appropriate. The crowd sounded super supportive, so I'm leaning towards the latter.
hmmmfascinating
Right..... it's not Broadway lol
DaveTheScientist
Right? What do people think is being ruined here?? It's 4 year olds learning to dance on stage. There is nothing cohesive to be ruined here.
normalizebeingalone
I know myself as a child, him being there would have made it harder for me to focus and I think that's what the comments are mentioning, it may not seem like a "huge deal" to the parents because it isn't "the Olympics" but there is potential impact on the kids still on stage
Badprenup
People have gotten into full-blown brawls over tee ball games and kid games at birthday parties, you never know how some parents are going to react to shit.
And that's extra true for anything related to sports or competitions, there's a LOT of crazy parents trying to live vicariously through their kids or trying to turn them into a child prodigy superstar.