TheOneYouWereWarnedAbout
22054
647
15
By Moreparz:
https://www.youtube.com/@moreparz
Jul 18, 2026 6:43 PM
TheOneYouWereWarnedAbout
22054
647
15
By Moreparz:
https://www.youtube.com/@moreparz
Cranbananarama
Would joining forces with emus help?
SheepySleepySmuggler
"God hates Australia - just look at the animals" is probably the best argument for the existence of God I've heard...
BruhForScale
Funny video but it’s misinformed. They are territorial with other snakes but afraid of humans. I live rural and only see one or two a year, their entire existence is hiding from predators. There’s only 2 deaths a year, more people in Australia die from dog attacks. Aussies love bragging about the dangers here but I would rather live with snakes and spiders than bears or big cats.
CaptnRisky
Agreed. Brown snakes are chickens and would rather flee than tackle with anything.
iananimated
Yet I've lived in Melbourne Victoria for 19 years and never seen one. There's been reports of some in various areas around me at times but I've never personally seen one and I live on the border of town and country. I kinda wanna see one.
Hotsauceman
DANGER NOODLE!!!
TheOneYouWereWarnedAbout
Hard for a noodle to get more dangerous.
NightOwlRally
It could yell hurtful things at you, "your parents will never be proud! Your friends don't really like you!"
"OMG SHUT UP JUST BITE ME OKAY" ;o;
ObjectivePragmatistWithHope
OMG, I laughed SO fuckin HARD (& I kinda feel a little bad I laughed so much)... "This motherfucker is so at home in the suburbs, he drives a fuckin Prius". LOL (literally)!!!
monkeyfly
As a boy my family lived semi rural and I'd often get chased by these ones. They're an apex predator and they know it. They have zero f's to give.
Resistance1000
If unicorns existed, they would be Australian and the horn would be highly venomous.
iusedtodream
And the unicorns have Chlamydia and shit cubes
TheMindEntropic
How did aboriginal people handle the occasional snake bite?
MidnaDS
That's the neat thing, they didn't.
TheMindEntropic
Nah, they would try to move as little as possible. Laying in one place and sleeping it off is better than wandering around for help.
TheMindEntropic
You can downvote me, but you can't override what the first aid course taught all of us.
TobiOfTheAkatsuki
Please watch MoreParz. His shit is so funny; I nearly pissed myself at his arabian sand boa video.
pinkmansaidthebest
Just stay down there, Australia. We good with our own US problems.
Sturdycrotch
I more Moreparz, he's so aggressively Australian
Aranon1183
And yet, I still would not mind living in Australia.
ShotgunFatality
Haha Garry's Mod reference. Nice
JamesFaction
One of the world's deadliest, one of the most common in Australia, and the best name they could come up with is "eastern brown snake"??
SailorPupitar
Yeah should have a cool and mysterious name like rattlesnake, how'd they even come up with that?
Theniyaal
It's amazing how much this feels like early-2000s Newgrounds Flash video software running on mid-2020s Tiktok hardware. Glorious.
Lassannn
Its favored prey is the house mouse. Because, you know, the house mouse is extremely impervious to snake venom and requires the second most lethal venom in the world, as we all know. If you don't consider this proof that God exists and that he has an extraordinarily dark sense of humor, you're even more cynical than Shakespeare.
reineseele
#AustralianAnimalsAreJustDeadly
DarwinsAgain
It's not found across the whole country though. Over in Western Australia there's the Western Brown snake.
NomadUniverse
We have 23 of the world's 25 most venomous snakes. Straya!
Malsbury
And how many people get bitten? Almost none. Because we leave the fucking things alone!
chiefrunswithscissors
No bears though. I'll take a snake over a bear any day
BeachsideBarghest
Yeah mate, a snake won't eat me after it kills me.
loremaster85
Don't worry, the bear won't wait until you're dead.
LuveBunny
Indeed, bear is going to be eating you while you are still alive.
MapleSyrupMafia
I'll take bears over snakes... I can go elbow deep into my car fender and I won't get my hand taken off by a bear hiding in there. Even working outside, the worst that can happen is that a field mouse jumps at me and rips off my jugular. We do have 6 months of cold, but no mosquitos during that time. So yeah, I'll just stay up here.
Isthe4thtimethecharm
A lot easier to spot a bear and stay away
Mairoa
Also most bears can be deterred with a "piss off"
Aranon1183
I was less than 20 feet from a pissy Grizzly before. It started charging the truck I was in as soon as my cousin got out to dump the trash at the dump; where it was living. That was honestly a fun experience!
Irishtrailrunner
The world's deadliest snake has the most boring name.
Now, boomslang is a name for a killer a nake
Deeg51
Australia also has the Death Adder. Just sayin'
Akaszkronos
That's just treesnake in Dutch/Afrikaans
Irishtrailrunner
Black mamba, King cobra, etc. Even Garter snake found cooler than Brown snake
NomadUniverse
It's not the most deadliest, just one of the most. We have 22 others that belong to the world's top 25 as well.
pandemicmodedad
What about the fer de Lance? They have quite a nasty bite
Irishtrailrunner
And a much better name
ComoSeIguana
Yeah, I want to visit Australia, but I might need to go in full armor that has a cooling mechanism inside of it because it will probably be hot inside the thing and an electrical force field so nothing jumps on me. Like that freaking huntsman spider. Fuck that noise.
BeachsideBarghest
White-tail spiders are what you should be worried about. They'll hide in your clothes or bedsheets and have a go at you when you try to slip into either. I have a nice scar on my leg from one of those cunts and their necrotic venom.
Emjayen
North America has large, terrestrial carnivores; you've got far more to concern yourself with at home, even on this already negligible threat scale.
The heat, particularly the humidity, will however kill you and it's summer 7-months of the year.
ObjectivePragmatistWithHope
Yeah, but the only terrestrial carnivore that actively hunts people are Polar Bears. In N. America, specifically the US... FEAR THE DEER! "True Deer," which include Moose, Elk, Reindeer, but mostly White Tail, as well as Red & African, which are not native, but have been intro-ed to the deer population; in car accidents, and personal confrontation (getting shived &/or stomped by deer, cuz it's that time of year Oct-Dec), kill more people a yr than all other animals combined, in either category.
Emjayen
Sure, however you do have the concern of encountering black/brown bears, which while ofcourse aren't interested in humans, can pose a threat if they're with cubs. The prospect of being mauled by a bear is far scarier to me than stepping on a snake (which applies just the same in the US). It's a negligible threat overall though obviously.
We don't have deer (except in some isolated areas), although similarly the most deadly fauna here is actually horses.
ObjectivePragmatistWithHope
Ironically, ALL the fuckin deer out killing people in car accidents and assaults, are overpopulated and overrunning areas that SHOULD have, but are severely lacking in, BOTH wolves and bears. -_- LOL!
TheOneYouWereWarnedAbout
The Huntsman is big and scary looking but I hear its harmless.
ComoSeIguana
It is, but I'd rather not take my chances
BluePaladin42
Outside of one falling in your lap while driving cuz it was napping in the sun flap, but yeah, they are harmless and actually pretty timid. The funnel web spider on the other hand...
datCookieGuy
I had one try and go down my back in the car once. My instinct to grab something that touched my neck saved me from having that happen. Fucker was huge, but ended up on my passenger side dashboard... dead.
monkeyfly
Mostly harmless. The bite hurts but it's unlikely to kill you unless it happens while you're driving a car or something. They hunt their prey by chasing it down so they move super fast which is quite terrifying though.
tizme
Babes, I grea up
In a town of 3 houses in the deep dense bush, we used to go into the bush, batefoot for hours at a time. I once saw a red belly black snake, quite venomous but very chill, when I was 16 I moved around the city of Sydney, for 25 years. Never came in contact. People do run into them, but it’s quite rate tbh.
Emjayen
Same - was barefoot in the bush as a kid plenty. Grew up in the Blue Mountains.
tizme
Nepean damn, Bargo. Not too far.
cyno01
Ever since i learned about spider-clouds im not sure i even want to go as close to Australia as New Zealand.
JohnThatcher
I did some quick searching, and all I could find was an AI slop video claiming a scud cloud was actually an airborn mass of spiders and web. There was also a nearly unsourced article (I suspect, but can't confirm, AI written) on smartscience.blog that described the event, but went into very few specifics and the few specifics it did have were either misleading or outright wrong. A few articles I found referenced an even in Australia where spiders were displaced by a flood, but were never 1/
JohnThatcher
airborn en masse. The two closest I came was 1) a news report from California where a specific species of spider produced balooning web that was particularly fluffy. Spiders were airborn, and it looked like whispy clouds, but it wasn't large singular events with many spiders in a combined 2) spring events were thousands of newly hatched juveniles would baloon in close timing with one another, but while large in number, and airborn, they don't tangle together in a single cloud-like group. 2/2
BeachsideBarghest
The AI writing that probably got it off the SCP wiki: https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1506
inkyjennings
Some of those infamous photos of spider clouds were actually taken in Texas, and some in Pakistan.
cyno01
Luckily also places i have zero desire to visit.
BeachsideBarghest
Yeah nah, as a lifelong Australian that AI slop was the first I'd heard about it. So don't believe everything you hear about us online... except drop bears, don't fuck with those.
mirrorz
Man, someone should round all those cunts up and imprison them on a remote island continent.
ExtraWoody
https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1cGpnZHQxYTFidmM4cGNnZjl1aDlna3B2aTZvdmZlYmo4aWw1NmVtYiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/jxbEDWXurUJ0rrUzpF/200w.webp
chewmaca2
Nah, on a smaller pedo island with the same people that visted said smaller pedo island.
nezo
There is already a snake island off the coast of Brazil
TyPfhhv
*Calling St. Patrick...*
SexGolem
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1MnNmNTFocWFnbjJ3cWV0MHF6NHFzdTc2dGM5cWFlZ25nZGEzbmFzeCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/26tk0DmjQ0Koxsl44/200w.webp
ToSisPoS
jetact12
Get Patrick he loves everything!!
DasBeaker
To be fair all Australian food is prison food.
LuveBunny
Tell me you have never been to Australia without telling me you have never been to Australia
uplookdont
Im gonna just go ahead and guess that missed the joke because you forgot or don't know aussie history.
Eurpoeans didnt just bring death and disease and genocide to Australia they also established it as a penal colony. Prisioners in the uk were just sent here to live or die as the might rather than keeping them in prision.
Maviyakuku
For 10 years. Initially.
Maviyakuku
For the best coffee, come over to Kenya. We grow it from the ground up.
Aranon1183
Some cunt was butthurt over your history joke. Lol
BeachsideBarghest
Ahaha because we're a prison, good one. For real though, we have an incredible foodie scene in Syd and Melb, plus the best coffee in the world.
Elonth
is that a "we are the best at making coffee in the world." or a "we make the best coffee beans in the world." "best coffee in the world." statement? I personally have no dog in this race as I'm one of the unfortunate few whos coffees taste is an anthema to my tastebuds. You can do w/e you want. I have the genetic disposition to hate want to spit it out. No amount of cream sugar or spices.
Just genuinly curious because I hear a lot of people will throw down the gauntlet at the "best coffee."
BeachsideBarghest
Best at making coffee, in my opinion. I've travelled a fair amount internationally and havent been impressed by most places I've been to. Aus obviously isn't the right climate to grow coffee beans but roasting and making we've got nailed.
Elonth
I'm going to give you the benefit of a doubt that you sought out actual enthusiast ran joints that are holes in the wall instead of like a starbucks.
morganfreemanslarynx
In all fairness, he's right you know. Not about inedible food. About everything there would like to kill you. I've been around some joeys, and huntsman, not the woman you know, the spider. Terrifyingly amazing. Aussies, are born with that courage, it was scary as fuck for me.