hokka4
105209
1573
112
Nov 17, 2022 10:16 PM
hokka4
105209
1573
112
DemoEvolved
I need to be the captain of the next titanic.
gis4gif
MoonAmericanFloydHeywoodR
Mitch McConnell: "Captain quality is an issue."
Sjg437
Even if the Orange Prick called for help, who the fuck could understand the nonsensical gibberish he would be spouting.
MoonAmericanFloydHeywoodR
"Hello, Georgia Secretary of State, FIND ME MORE LIFEBOATS!"
SkyreachX
So... Zapp Brannigan?
guitarfourtysix
Galfronon
I perfectly captain that ship to a destination people said it would never go to before it set sail, but I took it there.
Jace99
If there is an iceberg, throw the older passengers at it, they’re disposable. It’s making me look bad.
praga37
The iceberg is gonna disappear after a while, probably by April…
thechelonianshelmet
They should let me build a wall around the Pole. The Pole sends bergs, but it's not sending its best. We should use Nukes....
player112354
It was funny to read about chump prior to his election. Using the same jokes for years. Is basically using his brain cells. Use yours
usernamesarenotcomments
I have the best lifeboat
DJOldguy
This list equally applies if he was Captain of the USA ... erm, he was President, is that the same? Well these things apply anyway!
BendOverAndIllShowYa
Falling back into the same trap. Keep talking about this Fuckin’ guy and he’s gonna win. Ignore the asshat and he’s done. No media coverage
Primotimewaster
He would also be the first, if not the only one, off the ship. Easier to explain that he knew nothing about the "iceberg".
DoseOfScience
Wouldn't he have to run to get there first?
Primotimewaster
As soon as it happened he would have jumped ship. Plus he'd have his very own escape life raft.
imgurnaknockuout
He'd demand the iceberg show it's birth certificate
Wikipedo
We can use UV light to melt the iceberg
DelCorazon
This iceberg was the iciest in terms of ice content. I bet if we nuke it or inject it with bleach it would be gone in minutes…
goodshotbro
The iceberg came from Chyna
WiiShaker
What a little bitch ass pussy. His whole life. Weak.
BallsackHippo
I TAKE NO RESPONSABILITY!
bitchgotaname
This would be number 1
TheWonderfulWorldOfDickButt
Hang on, I got one for this
Frederf
He'd even pronounce it that way.
BallsackHippo
He'd be the 1st to abandon ship; He, two MAGA seamen, Ivanka, the vault content & this souvenir --->
TheElusiveEnchilada
abirduphigh
I still can't believe that man child was our head of state... for four years... so much damage done.
Vixess
Buckle up buttercup because if he doesn't get charged with a federal crime it might happen again.
pfshfine
I'd correct your spelling, but since you're imitating former guy... You got it too accurate.
lostlittletimeonthis
"the titanic was not properly built" "it didn't sink we were atacked by a submarine"
BallsackHippo
I swear, it was a Japanese torpedo boat!
Giant2179
But I'd like to be the captain of two or three more ships
Jbelkin
He’d be off in the lifeboats faster than the Concordia guy … he’d commandeer the other boats for the gold faucets …
decarnatedame
* There was no ship
ps238principal
"Can we see his qualifications for captaining an ocean liner?" "His degree is under lock and key and he'll sue if they're released."
MisterLemons
"Just stop asking. Look, does the other guy have one? There was a laptop that had a list of all the stowaways on the other guys ship"
hnngh
Coward captain of the MV Sewol tragedy in South Korea leaving his ship before anyone else. 304 died.
sinte
"Coward". Captains don't owe it to anyone to "go down with the ship". Fucking idiots. If you can save yourself, save yourself.
hnngh
This fucker told all the kids to stay put and that more information would come. Then left first. Didn't direct evac. Nothing. Fuck you.
hnngh
If it wasn't clear, you didn't read or look up shit. Go eat a dick.
hnngh
Most of the dead were from a local high school. Flowers on the desks of those that died.
len0k
He’d be the first person on the lifeboat.
IAmTheMightyLeon
"Some call it the China Iceberg, or the Chinaberg. Where are those people in the back going? Someone lock the doors."
bekindtoanimals
?
Jace99
Chii-na berg.
youreapieceofshitmorty
Clockworkdancerobot
Pretty much
yeahhedugit
Is that Trump or Elon?
newsguycraigevans
Yes
cearn
And millions will believe him on that :\
ManhattanHarper
My friend at the CDC said we were fucked in 2018 when he and Bolton fired the pandemic response team
davegur
Yep.