ItIsPronnouncedGifNotGif
37248
896
39
These people that say, "Sobriety has given me my life back"....I just can't be in this pointless existence.
*Edit* So grateful for the positive comments. I'm crying with emotion trying to make coffee this morning. I'll keep trying, thanks guys, you are all truly wonderful, not a single hateful or negative person. From my heart and soul, thank you all. X
L0rdinquisit0r
you were probably drinking for a reason, address the problem and mail it someplace else. then its not your problem.
chiefuffaker
I’m right there with you. Sobriety is no fun. If I can’t have a big slice of chocolate cake, I’m not gonna diet.
jkwgn
Congratulations on your sobriety! 8 years here. Catch a meeting. Not like the movies. Find one you like. One day at a time. Came in at 45 (30 years of alcohol, etc...), now my job is good, new relationship, I'm a diver, play pickleball, jujitsu, and my health is better. Took 2 years to really get it going, but now it's soo much better. Don't give up! Good Luck!
Arcygenical
I feel that. Not quite as bad as you, but I hate to admit how much of a better person I am with Alcohol in my life. I enjoy social connections 10x more, I'm interested in intimacy, I'm creative, I start and finish products. I basically kill every aspect of my life with booze in it... at the expense of my health. It's a real fucking drag bro. One day at a time.
Evo435
Depression is really terrible, hope you can get some help.
PleaseRespectMyAsshole
I feel you, man. I've slowed down on my drinking and I've realized how fucking boring my life is. I need to fix this but I don't know how.
Wheee12
fformulaa
Omg! I feel the same way when i quit. Then i do some plastic models or paint by numbers or read, and feel better. Then I'm like, man a beer or drink would go good with this right now. Then whoop, 3 shots in. I've asked friends and family to help me by going to play tennis or shuffle board or badminton or hit my cheap rowing machine. But i gotta tucker myself out so when i get home i don't hit the bottle but the bed n a show
Leaps
Don’t have bottles at home is step 1.
MarkoClassicGaming
It will get better but it will take a bit more time. You made it to 100 days so that alone is amazing just keep with it! I believe in you!
evildadunit
I felt this. You were a maintenance drinker? I can deal, with a bit of a buzz... but you were drinkin' for reasons and those reasons are older and stronger... find 1 thing in your life to change, as small as a cleaned room... tomorrow brings another hangover free morning
MrHappySmiles
Dude you have to engage in hobbies and being social. Now that you’re paying attention, you’re gonna be experiencing it.
Joecoin2
Nah, you'll be all right, not gonna happen over night.
The only thing better than being drunk is being sober.
Ask me how I know.
hotrodny
Give psilocybine a try before you take the final solution
ItIsPronnouncedGifNotGif
Wouldn't know how to get it....
hotrodny
https://www.remeday.com/psychedelics/psilocybin-therapy-guide
A Lot of info and providers
Vix4
As absolutely awful as it is, this is also a step on the process. All the shit you held at bay comes crashing down so it’s a lot. It’s rough, you are not alone and it’s worth sorting this shit out to get that life you deserve. Get some extra support when it gets too much. We all need help sometimes to make your light shine bright. Please keep trying. The world needs you in it
Jersquall
So you're feeling sober. You spent 30 plus years in a fog. Now is the time you need support and not because you are sober but because you you are clear headed and addressing that by itself has you in stress mode. THIS is why they say one day at a time with sobriety. Hit up a meeting and talk it out. find those who once felt exactly like you. because, they have been right where you are today. my point is, you are not alone and you have a out here. you have a confidence problem as well. AA go.
RadioactiveNerfDart
I e never understood why so many people act like life is some amazing gift instead of what it really is - an ultimately pointless blip in time, spent in a world full of evil and suffering.
ItIsPronnouncedGifNotGif
It really is.....😏
RadioactiveNerfDart
It isn’t a reason to give up, tho. It is a reason to try to find the things that really matter to you while you’re here. If you love animals, you could get a pet to take care of, or volunteer at an animal shelter, or both. Just one example. There’s lots of ways to help yourself by helping others.
DarnThisStuff
https://media1.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1Zm1hYW95b2Nwd3dlMGFhejNmZ2gyaTJsZnB1am5peGM2ZmRhMWwzciZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/LSKVmdIwZFeNEBKBxZ/200w.webp
zweifel
Go do a master's degree. Something interesting or something that will make you lots of money.
mobiusstrip
I 100% get where you're coming from. Drinking was/is my identity and life is so boring/Grey without it. But. Drinking is bad for me and bad for my life. We have to figure out what our life is, my friend. You are worth living for. Just you. You ever want to talk message me. I get it. Do not make a decision that obviates any mind changing in the future, friend. Please. Reach out, we'll catch you.
DJOldguy
NO DON'T THINK THAT!!! Step away. It's not easy, yeah, been there, done that, but I got very lucky in having someone to believe in me which ultimately led to me believing in myself. Find something, anything, that makes you want to do more. Rescue animals, or build models, or study something, you're never too old. Sobriety did not give me my life back, my wife and unborn child did. Sobriety nearly killed me, sure, but I found my "something" in them. Good luck champ!!!!
ItIsPronnouncedGifNotGif
Thanks for replying, and I'm genuinely happy you're getting there. I'll keep giving it a go....
DJOldguy
45 years sober, has given me a longer perspective that's all, you can do this too.
ItIsPronnouncedGifNotGif
45 years?! Holy crap. That's one hell of a new perspective; hell of frightening to me! I'll keep trying, day 101 today.....
DJOldguy
It does get easier, but look out for future potholes. There were times when it would have been so easy to fall off the wagon, but those times do get fewer and further between. That first year.. fuck I sometimes wonder how I made it that far. Biggest lesson, have faith in yourself and you will do it!!!
RibbleTPibits
My life didn’t get better when I stopped drinking. I was still left with all the physical and emotional discomfort that made me drink in the first place.
Not drinking is a great start, but sobriety is a peace of mind and a quality of life that comes from not having to drink.
It takes time and consistent effort, but it is well worth it. I hope you find what you are looking for.
Mountons
There's no meaning outside of you, doesn't help but don't wait for it to come from elsewhere. It's okay to not want to be here. Don't feel guilty about it at least.
glagnar
You got this. The bigger the boat the longer it takes to turn around.
ItIsPronnouncedGifNotGif
I like this. Thank you.
mrmartini
It takes the brain a good while to heal itself. It was probably 2 or 3 years into sobriety before I was able to laugh. It was an odd & bittersweet thing to realize that ... I hadn't laughed in years and it felt really odd to do so. It's all about time.
ItsPronouncedImager
You have to find a new way to get that dopamine. A hobby. A new social group. Something. And even then it takes time for your brain to rewire itself. I cut out sugar and it took me 2 years to enjoy sugar free foods. It’ll be the same with sobriety. Give it time. It gets better.
ItIsPronnouncedGifNotGif
Thank you for taking the time to comment, it is all helping me....
pierceeze
When I quit drinking, Isaw a behavioral therapist that put me on a non-addictive, non-abusable anti-anxiety medication. (Buspar). He did this because he was worried about whether I am an addict in more ways than just alcohol. Since then I realized that for the past 15 years I have been drinking to calm my anxiety. The medication took the place of drinking and I couldn’t be happier with the result. My suggestion would be to see a behavioral therapist and see what makes sense for you! Congrats!
ItIsPronnouncedGifNotGif
I'll try going back to the doctor's again. I'm just so tired of keeping on trying....
Dannoboyo
Takes over a year to get your brain to balance out after withdrawal. I'm also guessing you are still the emotional age of when you started drinking, or your original trauma, whichever came first. Right now your brain wants a drink, and it will tell you any kind of sad story to get you to drink again. Your mind is a dangerous place. Don't go in there alone.
ChelVanin
You gotta actively look for something to fill that huge space in your life that you’ve opened up. You’re gonna feel crazy until you do.
Iinajoki360
Gardening, golf, masturbation, rock climbing, painting, pottery, skiing maybe. Masturbation is the cheapest of these. Golf is stupidest. Added that one because I realize not everyone likes my interests.
OmNachoMama
The masturbating can create it's own addiction
sirdouglasbuttersworth
I would argue that the most important thing to fill that void with is spending time with good people. Boredom will grate at you but loneliness will drain your very soul
xj4low
RC model car racing. Models. Computer games. Mt biking. Hiking. Reading. Legos.
Save up the money you spent on drinking and use it as a sizable down payment on a new car.
yellowvega
Physical exercise like body building, running, bicycling, hiking, swimming. These things have the added benefit of endorphins which make you feel good. Also set goals so you can measure success.
CyanideBreathMint
I am semi interested masturbating on the golfs course /s
SayRamrod
glovelyday
You've been self-medicating tor 30 years. If you're not working with a physician or therapist you should be.
edwardelricsnipples
good thing those are cheap and every one of them can always effectively help every patient
GerhardRammelhausen
I mean it's cheaper than suicide.
DocWino
You get back what you put in. I work in a detox facility. Yes there are good and bad in any profession. If you think someone is better off doing it alone, you are sadly mistaken and giving dangerous advice.
HunterThompsonsMissingHands
Had the same thought, and I applaud the sarcasm, truly. :) I've started therapy again after about a decade, primarily to understand and control my self-medication, but holy FUCK was it a process to find a therapist in network, available for new patients, and scheduling is a nightmare. It's supposed to be once a week but I'm lucky if I can book another one, that isn't smack dab in the middle of my shift, and isn't a month out. Best of luck, OP. I believe in you, friend.
trythebleucheese
If you think therapy is expensive, think how much all the alcohol bought to keep this person medicated must have cost...
MaleProstateMilker88
That's why I can't become an alcoholist because I can't afford therapy or alcohol. Definitely not gonna start drinking disinfectant bottles in hospitals either to work around that.
glovelyday
And the "costs" it puts on every aspect of you personal and professional life.
theyallwenttoMexico
Why did you quit?
ItIsPronnouncedGifNotGif
Lost two jobs, nearly lost family....
FlatPlutoSociety
Two good reasons to keep living and keep working on sobriety: your family, and your future healthy self. Keep it up, 100 days is a huge milestone and there are lots more milestones in your future.
ItIsPronnouncedGifNotGif
The logical part of my brain knows this, but at 3.30am, I'm wanting a crisp, cold beer.....
FlatPlutoSociety
Yeah, what you know and what you feel are going to be at odds for a good long while, unfortunately. I hope you have someone you can call at 3:30 when you need to.
theyallwenttoMexico
I think that when people make positive changes, they forget why they made these changes when the urge is strongest. 👍😊
ItIsPronnouncedGifNotGif
Thank you.
DickSoup
You can’t expect your life to suddenly do a 180. You had 30+ years of not being sober. It’s like hitting a wall at 50mph. You’ll recover, but it takes time. And it isn’t easy. But it is worth it. There are better days ahead, just stick with it.
JavaCofe
Yah. Life is still out there sucking ass, just I'm sucking a little less being sober (3y 6mo)
GrosseChung
Yeah unfortunately you gotta build your life again, just not drinking isn’t going to bring you happiness. But it’s a start.
kinarism
Have you looked outside recently? We fucked.
jesseCandyBaroness
This. It takes time to recover. Pretty sure I was told 12-18 months before your brain is back to your new “normal”. There are times things suck, but not being sober won’t make them better. Try to be patient, and patient with yourself, while building this next chapter of your life. Getting sober does not suddenly make life’s problems go away, but it does make it easier to make the decisions you can be proud of (or at the very least, not ashamed of)
NotSomoneElse68
Look up Anhedonia. It's almost universal among people new to sobriety.
GerhardRammelhausen
Yeah, coming out of an addiction your brain is not working like it should. The chemicals produced by the brain just hit different now and it takes time to adjust again.
gtollie
Positive toughts and an uplifting message from @DickSoup thanks for all you do !
stouffer
Dick: noun, or Dick: verb?
This is important.
wseslar
"Uplifting message from dicksoup" was not a combination of words I expected to ever read in my life. Thank you to all parties involved
brainkandle1
Rimjob Steve!
EccentricNimoy
R/BrandNewSentence
wseslar
Nononono, I don't need yet another rabbit hole. *Sigh* fine...
ItIsPronnouncedGifNotGif
Appreciate it, thank you.
tentacularfleshscape
Also if the alcohol was used to paper over other life issues, those are still gonna be around and need fixin
Sasurau
One thing you might want to consider is therapy. Often folks self medicate to deal with other, underlying issues (for me it was depression and anxiety). I don't know your situation, but it might be something to think about.
Also, it can take a long while to relearn what you once enjoyed (or find new things you now enjoy) after quitting. A lot of my entertainment was connected mentally to drinking, honestly to this day I get limited enjoyment out of MMOs because of that.
MatrimBloodyCauthon
You've got this.
E39M5S62
7 years here. Give your brain time to heal; it needs to rewire itself. It got easier for me. I used an online support group, that might be a good option for you too.
colinstu
You had a coping mechanism providing you dopamine. This is gonna be brutal on your brain chemistry to have your receptors and transmitters adjust their function. Talk to your GP if you can and see about any alcohol cessation prescriptions. Especially if super depressed.
AnonOmis1000
I've never suffered from addiction, but some advice I've heard given to those recovering is to find some hobbies. You spent a lot of time drinking. That was your hobby. Now you don't have it and don't know what to do with yourself. Find something you can focus on and fill the time you would have normally spent drinking.
Callipygius
Ideally something addictive so that you will naturally want to keep doing it. Like online gaming ;-)
ItIsPronnouncedGifNotGif
Trouble is, lost any and all enjoyment in hobbies years ago. Put my guitar and golf clubs on the roadside for the bin men about seven years ago, haven't turned on the TV or games console in years. Absolute apathy.
AnonOmis1000
Maybe you should see a therapist. Maybe you were trying to self medicate. Getting a diagnosis could help
ItIsPronnouncedGifNotGif
Thank you, tried all that. I think I'm just one of those old men that have just slipped through the net. I'll just continue existing for the kids sake.