lem888
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Aug 29, 2024 2:15 AM
lem888
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bontonswanson
#16 I'm sorry but what about anaerobic bacteria?? If we're not going to ask exact questions why are we expecting exact answers
DeeplyBroken
I've had a grand total of about 100 teachers throughout my life. Of those, about half a dozen stand out as excellent teachers, and a similar number were total assholes. The rest were pretty nondescript.
YvesStRollerblade
That dump could clear out the unisex toilet right next to the copy room.
420supercoolusername69
I’m stealing this comment
justfillingthespace
That may be the greatest fuckin' yoink I've ever seen.
RAJrios
Yeah, I'm stealing THAT comment!
Nanntuckett
#28 It’s heart breaking students and teachers would be thinking “please let the school be on fire” because school shootings are so common.
getthismanabeer
Should probably stop terrorizing kids with the drills. Or repackage them as a different type of Tornado drill.
And demand our news media stop putting neon lights and big flashing arrows around schools to make the idea so attractive.
(And pass univ background checks, and just everyone be more fuckin' level headed.)
Anyone remember bomb threats? Used to happen all the time in the 90s. I remember my dad's office cube had a whole printout about what to do if a bomb threat were called in.
RAJrios
Did you just say that emergency preparation drills are terrorizing and should be stopped?
DeeplyBroken
My 7th grade math teacher could see that I was an outlier. While the rest of the class added up tall columns of digits, I sat back in the corner learning algebra from a machine that the teacher gave me. I've always felt good about that. :)
BenjyX55
#30 Mess with turt, you get hurt.
groovinlow
#24 The best part about using this picture is that this is right before they're all going to be shot. Same feel!
EroticZombiePants
#30 Kid lived a cartoon bit. He'll be fine.
sme2812
I want a lock that goes *lock* when I lock it
DVSBSTrD
Have to pay premium pass for that feature.
applesforjuice
#3 lord of the flies is such bullshit. By some crazy random chance, schoolboys literally crashed on an island irl and absolutely nothing like lord of the flies happened. I get it's a thought experiment and metaphors etc but it is supposed to be about society breaking down to instinct then society being built again based on fear etc and it's just not how things work. Kinda crazy that we have actual proof of that, but we do.
arego8967
Favorited! Fellow teacher here
2015Camry
#22 speaks my truth. Though my seniors love it when I queer out in math class just like any 1st grader would. And middle school is/was worse than Sparta when we expected them to use lockers. Oy vey! Class change was HELL!
whateverthevoicestellme
#3 love this, but also love the real backstory is pretty rad.
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2020/may/09/the-real-lord-of-the-flies-what-happened-when-six-boys-were-shipwrecked-for-15-months
StopTheWorldIWannaGetOff
That's pretty incredible. Don't think I could stay sane for that long, starving and dying of thirst. Thanks for the link!
tigerlilytoph
The book "Humankind" by Rutger Bregmen goes into detail about this story (and others like it) to demonstrate that, at our core, people are good. It's an amazing book, I can't recommend it highly enough.
stseregh
Wow, thanks so much for sharing! A shame this story is still not widely known.
I have to go do some sharing of my own...
guldan
Amazing, thank you for the link!
KellyCrazyCatLadyinTraining
Thank you for this article.
NoNameFred
I mean… "Lord of the Flies" was not the first story about a bunch of kids being shipwrecked or trapped on an island. It's just, most of the previous ones basically had the kids get along swimmingly and build a magical utopia for themselves. Golding, having spent a lot of time teaching at Private Schools, including a Boy's School, basically just compared the kids in those books to the behaviour of his pupils, laughed at it. "Lord of the Flies" is somewhere between retort, and parody of the genre.
apLundell
I don't understand why people always say this. That real event involved six boys who were really close friends and had good outdoors skills. That has absolutely nothing to do with the premise of the book. The only thing that matches is "island". It's literally closer to the plot to Gilligan's Island than it is Lord of the Flies.
apLundell
Don't parrot "The Guardian". Think back to what the book was actually about.
IrrelevantHandle
The book was about Golding being sick of books about young English lads going out on adventures and coming out just dandy with no conflict or trauma.
BiomechPhoenix
To be fair, the island the book was set on was incredibly survivable. If the book bore any resemblance to reality they would 100% have all been eaten by the pigs
LittleChickadee
I wish i could upvote more than once! Golding was a deeply broken and unhappy man, by his own admission, & wrote a horrifying piece of pure fiction. A real-life scenario happens of teen boys literally marooned and it was wholesome & inspiring as fuck! Humanity isn't always pure shite
SometimesISayHistoryStuff
In fairness, there are other examples of shipwrecks in which the survivors really did go kinda crazy. One example of some boys who were already friends and had all the skills to survive on the island really isn't a large enough sample size to determine any true nature of mankind.
I suggest, for my project, that we shipwreck several hundred groups of people on islands with varying levels of foreknowledge and survival skills and see what happens.
KellyCrazyCatLadyinTraining
As long as I have all my amenities, like A/C, a refrigerator, memory foam mattress/pillow, ear plugs, white noise machine, I’m in. Otherwise, hell no for me. Lol.
notatopbanana
Slow down there, Vault-tek
AxellTheDragon
KellyCrazyCatLadyinTraining
As long as I have all my amenities, like A/C, a refrigerator, memory foam mattress/pillow, ear plugs, white noise machine, I’m in. Otherwise, hell no for me. Lol.
Grevling89
Let's start with sending the senate!
swanglemydangle
#9 I feel like this is why anxiety is so prevalent now
2shortplanks
#5 I've got a computer science degree. I'm been a professional programmer for over 25 years. I've *written* apps for phones.
I still can't figure out how to use all these school apps.
It's a combination of them being badly written, the teachers using them badly, and the apps being full of features that neither the teachers, parents, and kids don't actually want or need.
pandemicpolemic
And increasingly riddled with microtransaction upsells and pitches for school logo coffee mugs.
Austinious
I'm a computer science teacher and have had to implement some school specific changes to this shit, and can confirm...they were all written by a 14 year old after 48 hours of a FortNite and NyQuil Bender...
kinarism
School apps = internal business apps that got released into the consumer wild without any user testing.
seekingdaedalus
I manage teams that work on one of these (one of the big ones). I'm sorry! We really do our best... the architecture is just damn complicated over 15 years of development. And I can tell you for a FACT that they are full of shit that users don't use or need, but our product team is too terrified to take away in case people use that excuse to stop buying it.
Lontri
When I was in uni, there was some school app or website where all of the course materials, instructions, assignments, teacher's notes, online exams etc went to, and ALL IF THE FUCKING TEACHERS USED IT IN A DIFFERENT WAY, AND IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND ANYTHING FAST, IF AT ALL, AND I HATED IT SO FUCKING MUCH!
Students are forced to write papers in one way, so that they're all uniform and easy to read and stuff, but teachers can do whatever the fuck they want with the site/app.
Lontri
Also took this one year-long course, finding the assignments and materials was such a pain in the ass, different modules had their instructions and materials in very different places.
2shortplanks
That’s a familiar experience with the school apps. Some teachers’ materials I can find. Others I have no hope.
What’s worse with the apps than websites is that the teachers have different versions! So when I have to ask them where the stuff is they can’t tell me - because they literally do not have access to the app I have to use and don’t know how it works.
Madness
Ahriman953
All the apps/websites I've had to use (Blackboard, Canvas) have a toggle mode that allows the teacher to view the app/website as if they were a student. Made life so much easier.
andpotatoesforall
#3 “Sucks to your ass-mar!”
goodapollo515
#21 also why are we always shaming the garbage men of the world? I’m so fucking grateful for them goddamn
whitefoxkei
#16 well, it's the closest thing to a correct answer on there. Lots of living things can exist without air. Most fish, for example.
ninjzaness
It’s for kindergartners
whitefoxkei
Kindergartners know what fish are
WillLickNudibranchsForBUzz
I'd back you on that one.
paintnwood
#1 my sisters send me all their kids’ Santa letters, they know I work for the Big Guy, and deciphering the wish lists of the littles is one of my favorite parts of Christmastime.
belongsinamuseum
Decent people: “I’ve always said that we need to pay our teachers more!”
Teachers: “That would be great! Not even that though, we just don’t want to have to beg for supplies.”
Decent people: “Sorry, best we can do is a free donut once a year.”
rocketbear30
#30 Former teacher here. There is no fucking way I would text parents. Hell no. Yall can email my school account or call my classroom extension between 7:30 and 3:30.
belongsinamuseum
Parent Square bro
GooteMoo
#13 Ah, just like prison, then
gamblingpoet
as a high school teacher, that fire drill one is bullshit. the second that unplanned alarm hits kids are bolting out the door because fuck it less time in class, more time outside. hell some of them start the fires to cause the alarm to go off. you know the reason kids beg not to go outside? cause its too cold. or too hot. not because they are scared of a school shooter scenario. its a real threat, don't get me wrong, but teens aren't acting like that.
Syiss
As a person who was in high school for 4 years I can say literally nobody ever bolted for the door, or started a fire on purpose to set off a fire alarm. Am I lying? Are you lying? Is the first person lying? Or maybe we all just have different experiences and they are all real and valid and you should shut up.
TriggeredPrivilege
“Maybe we’re all real and valid but your’s is wrong so don’t speak.”
Syiss
He's the one who called the original persons story bullshit. If he had just respectfully shared his own counter experience I wouldn't have said anything. He thinks his own experience is enough to call bullshit on anyone else though. Well I have a different experience than him so I guess his is total bullshit too huh? Or maybe you and he can both learn a lesson from this.
TriggeredPrivilege
So only some of us can call bullshit. Got it.
Syiss
I'm not calling his experience bullshit you fucking troglodyte. I'm saying he shouldn't call other people's experiences bullshit just because they don't align with his. I am using the facetious example of disregarding HIS experiences because they don't align with MINE to show how fucking stupid it is to do so. If you can't understand this you probably don't have the reading comprehension to safely browse social media and I suggest you hand your phone back to your mom until you turn 16.
DVSBSTrD
As a teen I was completely desensitized to fire drills. I hated having my time disrupted and listening to that fucking alarm on the way out.
beerlady
Yeah, my experiences were not very quick movement when an alarm went off.
Keairan
Eh, if there was just a big school shooting nearby, I could see it happening.
slidewhistlesymphony
This dump has your name on it! @janie99
kinarism
#6 every single teacher who's been in a classroom more than 2 years loves teaching kids and helping them grow. You don't walk into that room dreading dealing with kids. You dread walking into the building and dealing with the admin bullshit that has been built up around them.
graehall
holy shit, I made this one years ago, was the first meme I ever put my watermark on
HandsomePenguin
I dunno that clearly says Hallgrae...
graehall
Look we let Americans do month/day in their date layout and barely mock them for it so just let me have this
LaurenLikesStuff
graehall
Fun fact, the drill product shot did not have a drill bit, I photoshopped the drill bit in and so far nobody's noticed
LaurenLikesStuff
Well done! You clearly spent some time on this.
DongleDingler
I love that you ended it with "Proudly brought to you by the NRA" so it can draw their rage, but they'll never acknowledge it
lagspike79
Thank you for your service!
PedalPizza
It’s always fun to see your memes make it in the wild.
graehall
facts. That's at least a small part of why we make them
OliverKlozoff1269
The large part is all the sex and fame and money you receive?
graehall
Oh yeah, it's gotten me a lot of *checks writing on hand* pebnis and... borgine, so much!
OliverKlozoff1269
*napoleon dynanite voice* LUCKY
PikachuOnDeezNuts
This is like meeting a celebrity
graehall
I'm just a regular shitposter like everyone else, I put my pants on never because I'm at home in my bedroom making dumb memes
DickButtDave
So are celebrities but we act as if they are gods
KellyCrazyCatLadyinTraining
As someone not wearing a Bramlet, or even a shirt at the moment, I completely understand. My favorite quote is, “Home is where the pants come off.”
shaeuldur
Celebs aren't relatable, this makes you better and more relatable than a celebrity
HomWapko
Imalwaysready
That makes it sound like you peed on it.
Nathanyel
I mean, it looks like that.
DumpsterSauce
But that says HALLGRAE, and you're graehall.
graehall
There is nothing to see here I can assure you everything is above board and there's noth... QUICK WHAT'S THAT OVER THERE *vanishes*
TrazynTheArchaeovist
LaurenLikesStuff
Bluey reaction!
v
TohmaytohTohmahtoh
Teachers are worth their weight in gold. We need to support them more, pay them more, and help teach our children to respect them for the heroes that they are.
Nexus297
#9 The left side is still how I view things.
LuIu
I'm more 1949...gray exists.
bigguywhokills
But why is red at the bottom, instead of where it would be in a rainbow?
PraiseThePook
There was a part of my brain that truly wanted to answer "It's alphabetical". I try really hard not to be that kind of person.
Gaelwyn
Because it's sort of in the same order as the color wheel. So you have the primary colors of red, blue, and yellow spaced out and between them are the secondary colors you get by mixing the primary colors together, purple, green, and orange.a And then the extras (black, brown, white, grey, etc) are at the end.
waitwut94
#28 hopefully this isn't george orwell rhetoric but why can't there just be a public live feed of cameras in all public schools any faculty student and parent can access? quite like surf live feeds. I can't think of a cheaper solution to put ppl somewhat at ease.
xizar
They're already built like prisons... you want to make them into panopticons, too?
executivedisfunction
The necessary band width for 2 or more cameras in every room, hall and occupyable space, means there is instant info overload, and massive investment in technology that too many know how to knock offline when planning an attack. The Devil is always in the details. Look at the videos of traffic managers for cities with multiple freeways, intersections and bridges/tunnels. A damn wall of monitors 24/7, which takes a particular type of brain and lots of training, to make any sense of.
TriggeredPrivilege
The teachers unions would never be on board
AbdulMasaiev
#16 The "all living things" part makes "air" wrong for "circle THING all living things need to survive". Fish live underwater just fine with no air. "Bah, splitting hair, obviously we mean oxygen". Still naaaaw: https://edition.cnn.com/2020/02/26/world/first-animal-doesnt-breathe-oxygen-scn-trnd/index.html
Therefore since all answers are wrong, you're free to pick any one of them you want. Thus, the puppy is the correct thing to circle.
ninjzaness
It’s for kindergartners.
AbdulMasaiev
They know what a fish is
belongsinamuseum
As a teacher, this is yet again another example of a shitty test question (if real.)
eggmuffin
This is an example of what Terry Pratchet dubbed "lies-to-children". They are the stories we tell to assist others in understanding something, stories that are not actually true. The common depiction of an atom is another example.
As people's understanding of a subject grows, we tell them increasingly accurate stories. Hence "all life needs air" becomes "all life needs oxygen", and then "actually, some life doesn't".
potshot
While technically true, it's a commonly accepted method of teaching that you simplify things, and build up from there.