Jan 9, 2019 11:58 AM
gpm1120
125370
2742
44
p4r4noid4ndroid
Florida? Florida.
learntotakejoke
they need a Crocodile Hunter
midrampage
Your dog has some really dry skin.
TheWhiteRat
Clearly also has autism.
I'm not sure exactly what, but it's on the spectrum.
Inarticulated
Seeing stuff like this makes me happy to live in Sweden
ceramicpear
Newlywed here. My MIL is a saint. MY mother, however...
AbeFromen
Is the punchline in MIL jokes?
IamNotFunnyNeitherIsMyUserName
Could I talk to you about Christ our saviour?
juicygingrr
Simple comment but i didn’t expect it! I laughed so hard that I spit my drink on the cat! Take ur +1 dammit
I love it when I come across a comment like that on Imgur. I’m glad you got a laugh.
IBentMyWookie
Quizz25S
Do you have a moment to talk about our Dark Lord and Master, Cthulhu?
WhereArtThouMyTesticles
Florida is America's Australia.
JaromirAzarov
That's one very fit looking gator.
mercbrit
I had a frog do that once. It was less intense.
NocteVolte
Your mother in law looks alot like an alligator
Ah you know her
RepostCurator
Needs to be fatter
Crackheadpirate
Interior crocodile alligator I drive a Chevrolet movie theater.
Imisspelledthatonpurpose
Florida?..... Florida.
Brutsarge
Again I say...this is why I come back to imgur over and over! Here’s your upvote!
AbsoluteFuckingWaffle
"Hey there, sugar. You looking for a good time?" -Gator probably.
darkninja2992
I'm game. I love gator girl
dogs reaction
CarnivorousRabbit
*Cat
hillarydufflebag
That’s a cat homie
My bad lol
aPokal
You don't know that. It could an helicopter or a frigate.
boundbygravity22
Boots, a belt, A hand bag and a wallet. With enough left over for dinner
NoSleepTilBrooklyn
Unfortunately, mine knows how to open locked doors.
TrombeOverride
Florida house cat meets Florida swamp cat (in a somewhat controlled environment).
AFelineMassofEyes
82 posts in just three days! Wow, gpm1120 is as prolific as a computer program.
Awesome you took the time out of your busy schedule to count and comment...how nice.
The secret of my free time is... having only one imgur account. ;)
matches0526
That's that new security system for the porch thieves called later gator security
SgtJohnsonsJohnson
Hey Florida could you not?
ReusableBastard
Flo'da.
RazjelI
Alanacat
I could never live in Florida or anywhere this is a normal occurrence. lol
Pandorasjukebox
I've lived in Florida my entire life and that's never happened to me.
Registeredfordeuce
Same here , never happened
Mack1986
No mother in law can keep her mouth shut for that long
AskBobLoblaw
Mine can. She's the passive aggressive queen. She asked me where her dress was on my wedding day. That's it. Not another word.
RandomMemmer
Wow. What a shitty person.
tremonti
I don’t get it.
PrepareToTyEdition
My friend doesn't get it, either.
thatsjustcake
The mother in law probably wanted the bride to be wearing her wedding dress.
RavenHellfire
No kitty!, that thing will eat you!
Doomgriever
Nah, this cat ain't having it! (in the full video the alligator is chased away by the cat :) )
Haha, cats got bigger balls then I do
Another
Lucritas
Weren't that beautiful
Yes it weren’t!
UncleScarwasright
especially naked..
Sibben
Lucky you. My mother-in-law is a scorpion.
adhominem
Stop derailing, this is obviously a mother-in-lawn.
Spicycaecilian
She wouldn't have paralyzed your legs if you hadn't called her fat, though.
She had it comming though, the way she just attacks cakes.
Seethreepeeoh
Y'all putting a lot of faith in that glass.
1coyote
Dinner is just on the other side of that glass!
CyrosReaver
Not a Floridian, eh?
anonnona887
Grandma used to either chuck them out towards the yard or throw them into her 2x6 tiny pond. This is the equivalent of a squirrel in florida
DadddyWarlord
Have some faith arthur!!!
RelevantImgurian
It’ll be fine, this is Florida, that’s basically the neighbourhood stray cat.
Hyero
swamp cats
pfsar
What choice do they have at this point? Call a timeout and ask the gator to wait while they get a home security firm to install upgrades?
The5SecondFuse
ErrareHumanumEww
Giles?
OleFloridaMan
Nah he’s just a baby
J0765
He has no way to break it and wouldn’t. They are opportunistic eaters.
Dungeongeek
The gator isn’t trying to eat the cat, does that mean it knows how glassworks?
LeadByBadExample
There's a cat behind it. Don't worry, that croc wouldn't dare.
ArtOzz
...Could he break it though? I mean, its not like theyre ramming creatures is it?
I’m betting it would break if he just jumped up on it and yes, they do that quite often.
HattMamilton
No. Lol
DefinitelyHungry
Ya but had you ever seen them whack anything with their tail? That thing could spin around > hit tail with glass> glass breaks.
FigmentOfReality
Yeah he could easily break through, but thin his peanut brain would probably get really confused. he would just sit there with too much sti
ThePooFlyer
ever see the video of one death rolling and ripping another crocs leg off? I think a thin glass door ain’t gonna do shit it it’s determined
StarryPlough
How are those things related
souleater2847
You ever seen one of those things run?! If a dog can accidentally shatter a pane of glass a angry gator won’t have a problem.
Gators only get angry if you get directly in their face or in their territory. It will start hissing before anything else here.
iamawaffleiron
He's not angry, just hot. Cooldown in the shade for a bit and then he'll leave after an hour or so.
Floridamanmakeslightsaber
Fuckers can haul ass.
1Plebian
It's not technically impossible, its just impossible practically.
CaptainMorganTheFreeman
They're the laziest motherfuckers ever though, so it's really, REALLY improbable
zorrofuerte
Yes, IIRC their bodies deal with lactic acid build up differently than mammals. Like it takes them an hour or longer to be able to do 1/2
something that requires a lot of energy whereas in mammals it would be minutes. So they really like to conserve energy. 2/2
RobbyDobby
Had a pet American alligator in college and that thing would literally try and kill you (a full grown human) through the side of his tank
That thing would easily smash that glass and not even flinch
Deathwing777
You sound like your describing Crocodiles. Alligators are pretty docile as long as you don't provoke them. Often they just run away.
I have no experience with alligators besides owning one as a pet, but that little shit was insane
KansasComrade
Where is Steve Irwin when you need a question about a croc answered!?
DemonicCarnage
I'd say he's about where we left him, he doesnt get around much these days
ConsecutiveIntegers
Not a croc anyway. Steve would tell you so and also call it a beauty
He knew everything about all animals.
He ded. Ask the daughter, she probably knows.
TheDarkSideOfTheMoonMoon
Well of course she knows her dad is dead!!
johsuhey
Omg lol
boywiththehappypenis
How the fuck do you get out of that situation?
OddSoull
As a Florida living in the heart of swamp cat territory .... they arnt as aggressive as you think they are
secretoaster
Give it water and chicken, then stand up and give a firm handshake while maintaining eye contact. Say good bye.
oddyberry
Move from Florida
echonite
I would have a shotgun specifically for such situations.
fireinbloom
Alligator spray.
iwin
Hair Spray and a lighter
wouldkindly101
It's not a spider
I go to my room, and get my .380. The creature damaged the lily in my garden. It tried to sell crack to my cat, officer. -sprinkles crack
lyonori
Not be a pussy.
IMayOrMayNotHaveTroubleFindingAndOrChoosingAUsername
"Oh hi Karen, why are you standing out there in the heat? Go home."
ManickTheSmith
waphles317
At over 5 feet, it coming around humans means it'll be killed instead of relocated. I grew up in a hunting family, that is the perfect --
size to eat. So, I know what I would be doing.
CamelToeChew
A 40 or 45 caliber handgun.... or a shotgun. That would to too
TangyGraffiti
Only if you hit the right spot.
eggmuffin
Walk a few meters away. Done.
Gatzarlok
Call a professional, or get behind it, grab it's maw while closed, duct tape it closed, and throw it back into what ever swamp it came from.
Threewisemen
Shoo it away, that's not a big one. (Make sure your pets are secure in another room before you start to shoo)
AzurenDerp
With a gun.
Grizabellakat007
You shoo it away. Git!!!
delacruz101
2nd amendment
NuclearMonk
I'm not sure the Constitution includes arming alligators.
yet
BlueLanternBraxx
A shotgun.
hfkfkjdjjdjbrbrjjkfkf
They have guns in Florida.. lots of them
meatgortex
Smack it up, flip it, rub it down.
whooshby
Use the back door.
OnDutyBooty
Am a fan
TeachKindness
Mrdaihatsu
Some gators don't like that.
Jinxer13
Don't be so sure, those might be ... crocodile tears. Ok i ll go
UnknownVD
I’d eventually walk away... in my new pair of boots!
GDSTEVE
I keep a tin can full of nickels to shake at them. It doesn't scare them , but I make it feel bad by bragging about how many nickels I have.
PipeandSlippers
https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BriskUnfitCutworm-small.gif
Fuck, that's tight!
freerider35
That's what he said.
yummywaffles
From personal experience we throw a shoe at them and they’ll go
KarenFromBehind
Only works with crocs though
How do you know what size they wear?
leagueoffai1
La chacla!
You wrangle it, fuck it, send it home, Boom that's how
MrKnut
Careful you don't get gator aids
YesitisOtherBarryYesitiss
What was that second one again?
JavaCofe
You heard me.
I'm game
I'm fine with one and two
KalteKartoffeln
Stop confusing me
TomZarekVP
You want to be confused? look up TSVirgin Rosemarie on Porn Hub. Watch the first video.
hotdropoclock
can somebody who's more trustworthy of the NSA guy in their webcam do this and report?
What's there to be confused about? Sex the gator. Then wife it
Maxgaap
And pay 18 years of gator child support? I don't think so.
VodkaPls
Alligators are anti-vax. You got 5 - 6 years tops.
CharlieTheCharlingCharlie
Gator aid
More like gator laid.
jbilly90
Well see they have people you can call that are licensed to get rid of unwanted gators like this. This one needs to be eaten. Too used-
To being around people. This is when you really have to watch them bc they are more dangerous. No fear of humans
LiterallyNothingAvailable
Eaten? Isn’t the alternative taken into captivity?
sanaujiram
But then you don’t get to eat it and have sweet alligator leather items
Umm sometimes they do but mostly they get killed and used for food or leather.
ladymakeup
You want to start a gator zoo in Florida?
Why would it have to be in Florida? There are alligator sanctuaries all over the country. We even have one 7k ft high in Alamosa, Colorado
SmileLikeAKat
They already have one of those in Florida it’s called Gatorland.
p4r4noid4ndroid
Florida? Florida.
learntotakejoke
midrampage
Your dog has some really dry skin.
TheWhiteRat
Clearly also has autism.
midrampage
I'm not sure exactly what, but it's on the spectrum.
Inarticulated
Seeing stuff like this makes me happy to live in Sweden
ceramicpear
Newlywed here. My MIL is a saint. MY mother, however...
AbeFromen
Is the punchline in MIL jokes?
IamNotFunnyNeitherIsMyUserName
Could I talk to you about Christ our saviour?
juicygingrr
Simple comment but i didn’t expect it! I laughed so hard that I spit my drink on the cat! Take ur +1 dammit
IamNotFunnyNeitherIsMyUserName
I love it when I come across a comment like that on Imgur. I’m glad you got a laugh.
IBentMyWookie
Quizz25S
Do you have a moment to talk about our Dark Lord and Master, Cthulhu?
WhereArtThouMyTesticles
Florida is America's Australia.
JaromirAzarov
That's one very fit looking gator.
mercbrit
I had a frog do that once. It was less intense.
NocteVolte
Your mother in law looks alot like an alligator
gpm1120
Ah you know her
RepostCurator
Needs to be fatter
Crackheadpirate
Interior crocodile alligator I drive a Chevrolet movie theater.
Imisspelledthatonpurpose
Florida?..... Florida.
Brutsarge
Again I say...this is why I come back to imgur over and over! Here’s your upvote!
AbsoluteFuckingWaffle
"Hey there, sugar. You looking for a good time?" -Gator probably.
darkninja2992
I'm game. I love gator girl
learntotakejoke
CarnivorousRabbit
*Cat
hillarydufflebag
That’s a cat homie
learntotakejoke
My bad lol
aPokal
You don't know that. It could an helicopter or a frigate.
boundbygravity22
Boots, a belt, A hand bag and a wallet. With enough left over for dinner
NoSleepTilBrooklyn
Unfortunately, mine knows how to open locked doors.
TrombeOverride
Florida house cat meets Florida swamp cat (in a somewhat controlled environment).
AFelineMassofEyes
82 posts in just three days! Wow, gpm1120 is as prolific as a computer program.
gpm1120
Awesome you took the time out of your busy schedule to count and comment...how nice.
AFelineMassofEyes
The secret of my free time is... having only one imgur account. ;)
matches0526
That's that new security system for the porch thieves called later gator security
SgtJohnsonsJohnson
Hey Florida could you not?
ReusableBastard
Flo'da.
RazjelI
Alanacat
I could never live in Florida or anywhere this is a normal occurrence. lol
Pandorasjukebox
I've lived in Florida my entire life and that's never happened to me.
Registeredfordeuce
Same here , never happened
Mack1986
No mother in law can keep her mouth shut for that long
AskBobLoblaw
Mine can. She's the passive aggressive queen. She asked me where her dress was on my wedding day. That's it. Not another word.
RandomMemmer
Wow. What a shitty person.
tremonti
I don’t get it.
PrepareToTyEdition
My friend doesn't get it, either.
thatsjustcake
The mother in law probably wanted the bride to be wearing her wedding dress.
RavenHellfire
No kitty!, that thing will eat you!
Doomgriever
Nah, this cat ain't having it! (in the full video the alligator is chased away by the cat :) )
RavenHellfire
Haha, cats got bigger balls then I do
Doomgriever
Another
Lucritas
Weren't that beautiful
juicygingrr
Yes it weren’t!
UncleScarwasright
especially naked..
Sibben
Lucky you. My mother-in-law is a scorpion.
adhominem
Stop derailing, this is obviously a mother-in-lawn.
Spicycaecilian
She wouldn't have paralyzed your legs if you hadn't called her fat, though.
Sibben
She had it comming though, the way she just attacks cakes.
Seethreepeeoh
Y'all putting a lot of faith in that glass.
1coyote
Dinner is just on the other side of that glass!
CyrosReaver
Not a Floridian, eh?
anonnona887
Grandma used to either chuck them out towards the yard or throw them into her 2x6 tiny pond. This is the equivalent of a squirrel in florida
DadddyWarlord
Have some faith arthur!!!
RelevantImgurian
It’ll be fine, this is Florida, that’s basically the neighbourhood stray cat.
Hyero
swamp cats
pfsar
What choice do they have at this point? Call a timeout and ask the gator to wait while they get a home security firm to install upgrades?
The5SecondFuse
ErrareHumanumEww
Giles?
OleFloridaMan
Nah he’s just a baby
J0765
He has no way to break it and wouldn’t. They are opportunistic eaters.
Dungeongeek
The gator isn’t trying to eat the cat, does that mean it knows how glassworks?
LeadByBadExample
There's a cat behind it. Don't worry, that croc wouldn't dare.
ArtOzz
...Could he break it though? I mean, its not like theyre ramming creatures is it?
juicygingrr
I’m betting it would break if he just jumped up on it and yes, they do that quite often.
HattMamilton
No. Lol
DefinitelyHungry
Ya but had you ever seen them whack anything with their tail? That thing could spin around > hit tail with glass> glass breaks.
FigmentOfReality
Yeah he could easily break through, but thin his peanut brain would probably get really confused. he would just sit there with too much sti
ThePooFlyer
ever see the video of one death rolling and ripping another crocs leg off? I think a thin glass door ain’t gonna do shit it it’s determined
StarryPlough
How are those things related
souleater2847
You ever seen one of those things run?! If a dog can accidentally shatter a pane of glass a angry gator won’t have a problem.
Hyero
Gators only get angry if you get directly in their face or in their territory. It will start hissing before anything else here.
iamawaffleiron
He's not angry, just hot. Cooldown in the shade for a bit and then he'll leave after an hour or so.
Floridamanmakeslightsaber
Fuckers can haul ass.
1Plebian
It's not technically impossible, its just impossible practically.
CaptainMorganTheFreeman
They're the laziest motherfuckers ever though, so it's really, REALLY improbable
zorrofuerte
Yes, IIRC their bodies deal with lactic acid build up differently than mammals. Like it takes them an hour or longer to be able to do 1/2
zorrofuerte
something that requires a lot of energy whereas in mammals it would be minutes. So they really like to conserve energy. 2/2
RobbyDobby
Had a pet American alligator in college and that thing would literally try and kill you (a full grown human) through the side of his tank
RobbyDobby
That thing would easily smash that glass and not even flinch
Deathwing777
You sound like your describing Crocodiles. Alligators are pretty docile as long as you don't provoke them. Often they just run away.
RobbyDobby
I have no experience with alligators besides owning one as a pet, but that little shit was insane
KansasComrade
Where is Steve Irwin when you need a question about a croc answered!?
DemonicCarnage
I'd say he's about where we left him, he doesnt get around much these days
ConsecutiveIntegers
Not a croc anyway. Steve would tell you so and also call it a beauty
KansasComrade
He knew everything about all animals.
ArtOzz
He ded. Ask the daughter, she probably knows.
TheDarkSideOfTheMoonMoon
Well of course she knows her dad is dead!!
johsuhey
Omg lol
boywiththehappypenis
How the fuck do you get out of that situation?
OddSoull
As a Florida living in the heart of swamp cat territory .... they arnt as aggressive as you think they are
secretoaster
Give it water and chicken, then stand up and give a firm handshake while maintaining eye contact. Say good bye.
oddyberry
Move from Florida
echonite
I would have a shotgun specifically for such situations.
fireinbloom
Alligator spray.
iwin
Hair Spray and a lighter
wouldkindly101
It's not a spider
Floridamanmakeslightsaber
I go to my room, and get my .380. The creature damaged the lily in my garden. It tried to sell crack to my cat, officer. -sprinkles crack
lyonori
Not be a pussy.
IMayOrMayNotHaveTroubleFindingAndOrChoosingAUsername
"Oh hi Karen, why are you standing out there in the heat? Go home."
ManickTheSmith
waphles317
At over 5 feet, it coming around humans means it'll be killed instead of relocated. I grew up in a hunting family, that is the perfect --
waphles317
size to eat. So, I know what I would be doing.
CamelToeChew
A 40 or 45 caliber handgun.... or a shotgun. That would to too
TangyGraffiti
Only if you hit the right spot.
eggmuffin
Walk a few meters away. Done.
Gatzarlok
Call a professional, or get behind it, grab it's maw while closed, duct tape it closed, and throw it back into what ever swamp it came from.
Threewisemen
Shoo it away, that's not a big one. (Make sure your pets are secure in another room before you start to shoo)
AzurenDerp
With a gun.
Grizabellakat007
You shoo it away. Git!!!
delacruz101
2nd amendment
NuclearMonk
I'm not sure the Constitution includes arming alligators.
delacruz101
yet
BlueLanternBraxx
A shotgun.
hfkfkjdjjdjbrbrjjkfkf
They have guns in Florida.. lots of them
meatgortex
Smack it up, flip it, rub it down.
whooshby
Use the back door.
OnDutyBooty
Am a fan
TeachKindness
Mrdaihatsu
Some gators don't like that.
Jinxer13
Don't be so sure, those might be ... crocodile tears. Ok i ll go
UnknownVD
I’d eventually walk away... in my new pair of boots!
GDSTEVE
I keep a tin can full of nickels to shake at them. It doesn't scare them , but I make it feel bad by bragging about how many nickels I have.
PipeandSlippers
https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BriskUnfitCutworm-small.gif
boywiththehappypenis
Fuck, that's tight!
freerider35
That's what he said.
yummywaffles
From personal experience we throw a shoe at them and they’ll go
KarenFromBehind
Only works with crocs though
NuclearMonk
How do you know what size they wear?
leagueoffai1
La chacla!
learntotakejoke
You wrangle it, fuck it, send it home, Boom that's how
MrKnut
Careful you don't get gator aids
YesitisOtherBarryYesitiss
What was that second one again?
JavaCofe
learntotakejoke
You heard me.
darkninja2992
I'm game
darkninja2992
I'm fine with one and two
KalteKartoffeln
Stop confusing me
TomZarekVP
You want to be confused? look up TSVirgin Rosemarie on Porn Hub. Watch the first video.
hotdropoclock
can somebody who's more trustworthy of the NSA guy in their webcam do this and report?
darkninja2992
What's there to be confused about? Sex the gator. Then wife it
Maxgaap
And pay 18 years of gator child support? I don't think so.
VodkaPls
Alligators are anti-vax. You got 5 - 6 years tops.
CharlieTheCharlingCharlie
Gator aid
VodkaPls
More like gator laid.
learntotakejoke
jbilly90
Well see they have people you can call that are licensed to get rid of unwanted gators like this. This one needs to be eaten. Too used-
jbilly90
To being around people. This is when you really have to watch them bc they are more dangerous. No fear of humans
LiterallyNothingAvailable
Eaten? Isn’t the alternative taken into captivity?
sanaujiram
But then you don’t get to eat it and have sweet alligator leather items
jbilly90
Umm sometimes they do but mostly they get killed and used for food or leather.
ladymakeup
You want to start a gator zoo in Florida?
LiterallyNothingAvailable
Why would it have to be in Florida? There are alligator sanctuaries all over the country. We even have one 7k ft high in Alamosa, Colorado
SmileLikeAKat
They already have one of those in Florida it’s called Gatorland.