Smashallsmurfs
208905
16856
504
#2
#3
#4
#5
Who really has time to study?
#6
#7
Too old
#8
#9
☜(゚ヮ゚☜)
#10
Adorably angry
#11
#12
#13
#14
All is bed
#15
Fun game
#16
#17
#18
#19
#20
And one asshole is giving bunny ears to the people in front of them
#21
#22
#23
#24
#25
#26
What your support can mean to others
#27
#28
#29
#30
#31
#32
#33
#34
#35
#36
#37
#38
#39
#40
#41
#42
#43
#44
#45
#46
#47
#48
#49
#50
#51
#52
#53
#54
#55
#56
#57
#58
#59
#60
#61
#62
Cat Tax - Toothless aint got time for yo shit
FP EDIT - WHAT THE CRACKALACKIN CRAP ON A CRACKER!? I am glad everyone has enjoyed these, I have enjoyed reading ALL the comments and the discussions. Send me whatever, hell just send a hello and we'll talk nerd?
bigtwindaddy10
Soft, yet firm....lovely feeling dump!
CClop
I agree. Lost juuuuust enough time at work that I don't feel too bad about it.
soepie7
YourbestfriendMichael
OAH HO HO HO HO HA HA HA
Smashallsmurfs
Shark bait ooh ha ha
WirenutsInYourButts
"What kind of fedora wearing, Mountain Dew and Doritos slushie drinking, mlady stuttering, acne on their back..." I am dying over here!!!
Smashallsmurfs
That was my favorite comment.. which is why I included it!!!
Wadef4
A room that is nothing but bed? You mean this?
CaliDreamer
I've been in one of those, and trust me, that ain't no bed.
Chevalpuant88
buckeyegoddess
Marshmallows?
pyrrhlis
HELL FUCKING YEAH
TODAYSNUMBERIS
Isn't May short for Maybelline?
SonderingStrike
Maybe it is.
bingotown
There it is.
Sparkles42
Thanks Obama
somenerandom
As a 22 year old #8 is accurate
whyWontKeiraKnightleyReturnMyPhoneCalls
#61 because you can't transmit STIs by bleeding into your underwear. i mean ok pads n stuff shld be free but that's why condoms already are
Ashliarco
#27.. not sure they'd give chemo to a pregnant women, and that's why cancer pts lose their hair....
arpitp
I'm glad someone else noticed this.
Danmanbadman
#39 that's a dildo on the bed, right?
indramonmon
Spider dildo
chronovore
It's black, so it's just some Venom leftovers.
cjs91
looks like a tv remote
LanceKairan
If you're brave enough...
GodApollo
I thought you said dragon dildo, this says things about where i go in incognito...
ojrodriguez
It can't be unseen!
Ichose2
or a remote, but I mean, if you're brave enough, and maybe wrap it first...
JustAGorilla
Freshly pinched loaf.
MayoPacket
Remote.
Kazan42
It's a TV remote
Kalid19
Tube of lotion? ...thats not much better, is it.
onaclov2000
Plot twist, boyfriend has unnatural fear of spiders, was a dress in the bag, this chicks a hoot
ArdentSlacker
Quite a happy birthday.
thornus67
It's a cucumber. That's dinner. One cucumber.
Catchiest20Two
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVfNrNcvlto
Radix865
But before that, it's a toy...
thornus67
Well it has to marinate in something first.
lcplspanky
Then it's a pickle
MarshallAppleWhitesSuicidalGhost
You say this but recently watched a kid at a restaurant order a whole cucumber and proceed to naw on it. The kid was happy.
downvotingallpoliticalposts
pookieeatworld
Can somebody make one of these already that says "that's a dildo"?
IMakeGifsLookGood
bsmusic
Living up to that username
75PercentSith
reversedthatsapenis.gif
GrimDarkRealities
Damn, you got here first, +1.
EphemeralPanda
#24
Interceptor3104
#51 Ok with me.
XVF09
Seconded
unclestankstank
#51 there is a very clear distinction between trans and instersex. I wouldn't lump the two groups together.
RedDwarfIV
Wrong number
Textuality
I want to smack people who are 22 and claiming they "feel so old". Wait 'til you're in your 40's before starting that crap. :)
DiggerPlease
I want to smack people in their 40's claiming they're old. Wait 'til you're in your 60's....what were we talking about again?
Textuality
At least in your 40's you can use the whole "mid-life crisis" excuse. :)
ILiekTurdles
#47 that's a ball python. They're basically harmless.
SalvalecRhaplanca
Yeah they're not venomous and are adorable.
Klaxun
Came here for this. There are two types of snake, venomous and constrictor. Thank you.
Blastergv9
I thought my wife would really enjoy this post... but then I saw her face...
samsonguy920
Booo
SonderingStrike
Now I'm runnin' screaming.
BritishBatman
#18 our, is nor pronounced the same way as are.
BritishBatman
*not
BritishBatman
why is this downvoted... it's a correction to what I said...
lVlARIO
Thanks, was gonna say that I pronounce it more like hour.
InTheDistanceAPlaintiveEnglishHorn
There a stressed and an unstressed pronunciation. The same as the word "a", which usually is "uh" but sometimes it's "ay".
LoopStricken
Depends where you're from. I do if I'm being lazy.
lifeofablondie
#54 is technically wrong, Apollo 13 didn't blow up, an oxygen tank exploded after it left the atmosphere. The crew repaired it and came home
[deleted]
[deleted]
lifeofablondie
Actually I am. You wouldn't know
SunkittKatte
You're absolutely correct. Now, if he had called it "Space Shuttle Columbia"...
digitalutopia
Columbia didn't really explode - it just disintegrated. Challenger on the other hand ....well that was one unexpected fireworks show.
xchupee7
That's the goal
Camelspotting
They said it exploded and then you said it exploded, am I missing something?
TheClayKnight
Only part of it exploded, post implied whole thing did
TechKiddz
So an orgasm after "reaching the atmosphere?" Then coming home.
DetectiveClues
They couldn't repair it, they had to use the lunar lander as a life raft which was even more impressive given it was only meant to carry 2.
lifeofablondie
https://www.google.com/amp/www.universetoday.com/63673/13-things-that-saved-apollo-13-part-10-duct-tape/amp/ they did a patch job
DetectiveClues
they didn't repair the O2 tank, though, it was external. Article was about modding the command module CO2 scrubbers to fit the Lunar module
Gregrox
No, the crew didn't repair it. They did a lot of things to get home, but fixing the CSM's oxygen tank isn't one of them.
Gregrox
They manually piloted the Lunar Lander. They rigged a diy replacement for a CO2 scrubber from the CSM to put in the LM. They did math.
Azerai
Fuck yeah! Science! Math!
Gregrox
But they didn't repair the oxygen tank.
CaptCraazy
So what you're saying is it will be awkward, dangerous but in the end totally worth it?
lifeofablondie
It's considered "a successful failure" because everyone survived but they failed their mission of making it to the moon
CaptCraazy
So in our little metaphor, we wouldn't get to the actual 'goal', but it would still be exciting at first and some 'cleanup'-work required?
LordofGoats
Basically he finishes, she doesn't.
Ichose2
Always embarrassing when the rocket goes off prematurely
TheYuriG
Love how you are still maintaining this relatable
CaptCraazy
It just gets better and better. Also, everyone will remember the event, with mixed feelings probably.
swipesomething
#52 I'm sorry but I don't see anybody claiming a "Rhode Island only" or a "red head only" toilet
samsonguy920
That would be segregation which is a no-no around my parts.
ImgurCouncilOfLlamas
We should implement those as a social experiment.
RedDwarfIV
Or a $500,000+ toilet
swipesomething
http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/familyguy/images/e/e5/Executive_Bathroom_Island.png
MattDude
#2 Jesse McCartney - Beautiful Soul.
StarkTangent
Fr i was like "...it's just a song chill"
judgemasterven
THANK YOU.
SerpentHawk
First album I ever bought with my own money. I was an interesting kid.
123K456
Me too
QuazMasta
When the cringe is all in the attempted burn...And you're not sure if OP knew that.
Martellus
I still can't remove the image of the devil singing that song. Cause of all this wanting her "beautiful soul" thing.
StonesOnTheHill
And now I can't remove the image of the devil as a neckbeard, with a fedora precariously balanced on his horns.
IAlwaysUpvoteBirdies
I loved this song when I was a kid. I was convinced I was gonna marry him one day.
Snarfmonster
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ek2PDE1cAyY Song sauce
SunkittKatte
Wouldn't be tumblr if they weren't a bunch of legbeards obsessed with roasting neckbeards, even if there aren't any actual neckbeards...
[deleted]
[deleted]
CholericChimera
Nah people like you are just super judgemental
tellinitReal
It's judgemental to call someone judgemental you blubbery hippo of the crypt
[deleted]
[deleted]
CholericChimera
You're digging too deep. It could be by a guy after his breakup with a girl he really liked or any situation. It's just a post.
tellinitReal
NEVER STOP DIGGING YOU SHALLOW PUDDLE OF A SAD!!!! Get some cream for that hurt anus
tellinitReal
ps....*whisper*long live the king
CholericChimera
People have nothing better to do but dig deeper so they can judge as you can clearly see from the comment on the post.
tellinitReal
Not everyone can afford a machete to cut through deeper past your neckbeard though. Be realistic or less butthurt you scrublord
tellinitReal
ps....*whisper* Tumblr is dumb
Whipcrack
May is ahort for Maybelline
SonderingStrike
Maybe it is.
SonderingStrike
Maybe it is.
RandomSampleForDumps
Random sample for this dump: #14 #21 #28 #33 #37 #38 #45 #48 #56 #62
CentaurForDiseaseControl
#61 shut the fuck up women benefit from free condoms too
RedDwarfIV
Women can choose not to have sex, therefore we shouldn't make birth control pills free. Weird how that argument can be turned around.
CentaurForDiseaseControl
Exactly
dontcallmeplath
I think you missed the point.
Ichose2
The point of free condoms is it saves more than it costs- kids are expensive, so contraception has a high ROI. I think food, health, and 1/2
Ichose2
shelter would be worth making part of a strong social safety net, including basic hygiene products, but that's a tall order w/ current gov
CentaurForDiseaseControl
No I got it. I agree that women should have access to those things but don't give me that "men don't need to have sex"
corticalstack
Those who need sex can masturbate without a condom. Folks with uteruses can't just chose not to have their period. C'mon, man.
CentaurForDiseaseControl
Masturbation isn't the same as sex, and it doesn't just benefit males to have access to condoms
CentaurForDiseaseControl
Condoms are free in most clinics because it's cheap, effective, user friendly access to contraceptive product. No other form of
ontheinternetnooneknowsyourapotato
But those are two separate arguments
HermanManly
bingotown
Oh you, talking sense.
SonderingStrike
HIV can kill ya, temporary lack of a cloth dildo (Purposefully misrepresenting by the way) really won't kill anyone.
ihavealteredmyusernameagainprayidontalteritanyfurther
But do you really want strange people's blood seeping through their clothes and getting left on chairs all over the place... huh?
SergeantPeppersLonelyHeart
Hiv can be spread through bodily fluids though
bingotown
Oh you, talking sense.
blooregardqkazoo
WinterGrasp
No
LinnehKitteh
Her face is so crooked. I can't unsee it.
ohmyapplepie
Yes
Citride
That's what I thought too! We are one of mind.
Poofingers
How about; " young hot orange is the new played out, beat up black".
Smashallsmurfs
Tumblr logic?
[deleted]
[deleted]
AnakinItsOverIHaveTheHighGround
lookatallthosedownvotes.jpeg
BlueIceDragon
BarnibusSwarleyStinson
Found the tumblr user
MasterOfPunpets
What did it say?
BatchOCookies
Jokerightoveryourhead.jpeg
ElectronicSharts
What he say
Nukeshi
It'sOkayWe'veAllBeenThere.png
itrymybesttooffendsomeone
Uh it's because she went from Orange to black not black to orange you dumb shiycunt
BarnibusSwarleyStinson
Username checks out
ImgurLurker12r
Wow so mean
itrymybesttooffendsomeone
Look at the namr
MasterOfPunpets
What did it say?
InfernoTerra
Yeh except I didn't say cunt or anything mean. :p
MasterOfPunpets
Then why the downvotefest?
BarnibusSwarleyStinson
"it was obviously a reference ye cunt to fucking orange is the new black" not the exact wording but yeah that was basically it
MasterOfPunpets
Thank you
MiguelCardoso808
#16 It's called Argumental lasted 2 seasons on Dave .
eskimowins
That 1% of the population thing is probably the stupidest thing I've seen so far this week. To be fair it is only Wednesday.
samsonguy920
Are you disagreeing on any of those four things not constituting 1% of the population?
eskimowins
Well I mean that's only one of the incredibly stupid things in that post, but yes I am disagreeing on that point.
eskimowins
Australia = 0.3% (too low), Redheads = 1-2% (not too far off but likely too high), Rhode Island = 0% (not even remotely close)...
eskimowins
>$500k/yr looks way too low on a tiny bit of research, and pacific islanders I would need a bit more clarification to work it out
CephalopodLodge4
#18 do y'all not pronounce "our" like "hour", or is it "are" for you?
muinmuin
According to Merriam Webster, both are correct
bingotown
Depends on how fast I'm saying it. It definitely sounds like "are" if I'm in a hurry.
LoopStricken
No, it's 'you' for you.
sbudeeg
Pronouncing it like "are" is mispronouncing it. Unfortunately, English is too hard for native speakers, so most people pronounce it that way
Dallium
Best I can tell for me, it depends on how the word preceding our ends. If I'm emphasizing our, I always pronounce it like hour.
KickyFootDance
#8 you're 22 and have friends in high school?
SunkittKatte
tumblr.
craggyp
please read properly, it's a Finnish high school.
RerunAway
Apparenrly everyone else thinks this isn't weird FootDance. I scrolled down to question this.
BurntRamen
Or it's a sibling which inspired the grandma joke?
skelitor120
You clearly don't play video games.
feraraaaaaaaa
I get you
Textuality
All that really takes is being a senior when they're a freshman.
SuperBobKing
Unless you started a year late or failed a year that would make you 21, not 22.
Textuality
Depends on when your birthday is.
SuperBobKing
If the older person was as young as possible and the younger person was as old as possible it would round out to 4 years older, but the...
SuperBobKing
Shit, I just realized I got those ages swapped, so reverse that. The way I said it would make it 20, not 22. The average is 21 though.
BiggerOstrich
My friend's brother is a sophomore and we're good friends
TheDouche
I'm 42 and some of my best friends are in high school. Granted, we've been friends since I started buying them booze when they were 14.
restos
Username checks out.
asliceofbread
Do you let them come over and party at your place too?
Templarfreak
I'm 20 and have friends in middle school because Internet.
magicpantsmcd
Are their parents aware of this? Lol
feraraaaaaaaa
I'm 24 and got 14yo friends, as well as 50+ year olds. Age doesn't define friendship
SecondHandDeathWish
I'm 22, my best two friends are both nearing 50....
Camelspotting
Friends of younger siblings usually.
InTheDistanceAPlaintiveEnglishHorn
but then they'd be used to hanging out with someone that age...
iconvincinglybullshhthings
I'm 27 and have friends in high school. social crews run deep. also a really good friend whose 45
NotTheRealNPH
Your life seems cool
greentinroof
Hey me too, except my friends are all 27 cause all = 1 and I'm 27 and I have no friends.
OtterOfDoom
This will be me next month
greentinroof
Happy early bday
XelaDarks
My fiance and I were both freshman when we met. I was in highschool, she was in college.
IDoNotContribute
Dude. That is fucked up.
XelaDarks
Not necessarily. I actually could of been graduating highschool in that year. Was too lazy though so I stuck with my age group.
khaleesimotherofkittycats
Where I am, that would have been a 14 year old dating an 18 year old
LoopStricken
Could have.
XelaDarks
Most people who are together are about 5 years apart anyway. Legally you have to be within 4 or less, and we were.
greentinroof
Legally? 16+ is fair game in Canada
XelaDarks
I matured early so no one knew, thinking I was past 22. Now when a 15 year old is with a 35 year old, thats concerning. Which I've seen.
ISpiltCoffeeOnMyPhone
stuiiful
Women are very picky about what tampons they use. Probably the reason why they aren't free
ARegularOldPlumbus
And not to mention sanitary items are taxed as a luxury.
TheMightyHerring
Right? I know girls that get them free from planned parenthood places, but those predominantly help girls. Guys don't usually get free ones.
SunkittKatte
Uh...do you even know about the secret patriarchy meetings, shitlord? Educate yourself about how men get literally everything free! /s
InTheDistanceAPlaintiveEnglishHorn
In Brazil it practically rains condoms. During Carnival, you shouldn't be surprised to find someone giving out condoms in your living room.
Spinbot11
You would think that anyone giving away free condoms would be giving them to whomever needs them and not just men.
BurntRamen
Planned Parenthood, College Student Unions... any place that wants to prevent the young people that hang around from having more babies.
HarriBurton
In England, family planning clinics tend to give them out. I think it's only to the under 25's though.
InTheDistanceAPlaintiveEnglishHorn
Some colleges here (in Wales) have the scheme that you can use your student ID to get free condoms in many places.
SexualConsent
My thoughts exactly. It's not like you go to the store and you trigger the gate and a sea of condoms fall on you
SunkittKatte
Don't you even have your patriarchy membership card on you at the store? They give everything to you free if you do.
SexualConsent
I think you need to be 18+ to be eligible for the card, dang it!
gorgosaurusrex
Planned Parenthood?
CephalopodLodge4
sexual health clinic
SunkittKatte
Wouldn't be tumblr if they didn't need a mostly false generalization and a false equivalence to make a point sound sane.
IDoNotContribute
That is what I'm saying, last time I got free condoms I was in high school
dontcallmeplath
There's always a big bowl of them @ the local sex health clinic/planned parenthood. And they'll give you a paper bag full after a screening.
poopymcstoppy
Tampons and pads aren't free because the manufacturers are 100% guaranteed to make money as long as women exist.
QueenOfProcrastination13
There's free condoms in a big jar at my local Pride Center.
skelitor120
Lots of places, actually. They're shitty condoms of course which I always thought kinda defeated the purpose. Not that I'm arguing against--
dontcallmeplath
The ones at our clinic are lifestyles brand. Not necessarily "shitty."
skelitor120
All I know is every free condom I've ever used broke during initial penetration and cockblocked me, lol. Haven't had any other issues with -
skelitor120
-other condoms
skelitor120
--the logic, but teenagers having babies are scarier to me than teenagers bleeding through their pants. Not, of course, that it should be --
skelitor120
--one or the other.
Falos
WHAT WE REALLY NEED IS AN EXTENDED COMMENT FEATURE FUCK
arcenlapin
I didn't really like that one either. Apples and oranges. Would I like free tampons? Yeah. But I'd rather have free condoms.
StarvinMarvinAteMyJunk
Also a man might use 1 condom a week or 1 in his life, whereas if a woman uses 1 pad/tampon she's going to need several a month every month.
easybrz
You know what they call guys who use free condoms???
skelitor120
That's a funny one lol
easybrz
Dad.
SimpleMemeFarmer
I once saw a sign complaining about men get free razors. Like, dude, seriously, why did no one tell me we get free razors?
ARegularOldPlumbus
Men's razors aren't taxed like women's razors are, maybe it's that?
MilesPrower
...Then buy men's razors. There's a very simple solution to this issue.
basilpesto69
When I turned 18, Gillette sent me a free fusion proglide. That was it.
frozenvision
You live in the UK? There's an extra tax on female products there, and there was a protest a while ago, maybe it was that.
Kommanche
There isn't an extra tax. You just pay VAT like everything else.
MilesPrower
It's not "extra."