ButtersTheCat
43233
966
29
I wish I could tag Pete Hegseth on this post. I just know he'd love it.
Oct 7, 2025 10:13 PM
ButtersTheCat
43233
966
29
I wish I could tag Pete Hegseth on this post. I just know he'd love it.
DaSauceSeeker
"Everything's bigger in Texas"
DiogenesOfSin
This is 100% the stuff that really gets to Hegseth. He got such a 'macho man' persona that he can't stand the reality.
MightyUrto
....doesn't the Texas National Guard have physical requirements? ....WTF man....
deanbrah
they obviously do. nobody under 250 lbs allowed
AIisAbutnotI
#1 That's a lot of chins for the No Fatties crowd.
ThomasTheWankEnglne
national lard
cgt9803
Texas National Lard
KellyanneConwayTwitty
Dude I'm crying
ButtersTheCat
OH LAWD, THEY COMIN
SamaelQliphoth
When the drums of war become tubas
gonzar09
/gallery/blOoFM1.mp4
DYLANLEE79
Texas is invading...*checks notes* .... Chicago!?
Doismellbacon
"checks map"
woozle
Sebastopol140
blessedarethecheesemakers
Meal Team 6
JesseWasTaken
There were two teams that entered the military plane that day... it was a long flight with no meals, only one team walked out
InspectorA5
Ok, y'all gotta understand. It's still 90 degrees here in Texas. They're up there and it's 62 daytime. They're not gonna be hurting from the heat, it feels GREAT for them. Just remind them deer season starts Nov 1st and they're stuck in Illinois. Have a skinny Boi dress as a deer furry and dance ballet in front of them. Psyops people.. mess the head.
AZJackeen
Deep dish Chicago pizzas laced with laxatives placed strategically around the city will take these lardasses out.
sideeyehussle
Didn’t they get the Hegseth memo?
0570
Deploying Meal Team 6? That's neckless!
Drew442
"Surrender all pizza, hot dogs and polish sausages at once"!
rbudrick
Make them run. It'll be over in no time.
whistlebuzz
Why are they sending the national gaurd from a different state into IL?
In a totally unrelated topic, anyone seen the movie 'Civil War' yet?
PurifiedInTheWatersOfLakeMinnetonka
Fuck yes and HOLY FUCK, was it depressing. https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTY1YjkxZmJlaG83MDBuNzc1MWZhZGVxNHlodjNoYzY0bzBkMHRrZjFpOWhyaGx3YSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/a6zGGyjGKq7GE/200w.mp4
daychilde
Because if you send them from the same state, they're more likely to know people and be less willing to be violent.
OnceBotheredTwiceShy
jackal696
That movie sucked, only a few battle scenes. But it's ok just not a good show
eion85
Because he's getting cooperation from Texas.
QuitLookinAtMineAim
Because they don't think the guardsman will shoot their neighbors, so they will be deployed away from their homes.
GIMike1972
This https://media1.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1dTA5YmI2cXN3ejJyanR4Y3hndWozeG9pbHc3eWJnNjB4NWo4NXUyMSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/q5sAhc1CLcHZci9Ad1/200w.webp
TheBreadTurtle
yeah that's how they escalated Tiananmen Square, too. Local troops were too friendly with the protesters
QuitLookinAtMineAim
It makes sense. The national guard is literally our friends, family, and neighbors. They also need to carefully hand pick them because most wouldn't march on US cities.
Baconlovesyoutoo
Park a taco truck up wind, let's find out where their loyalty lies.
ButtersTheCat
It's hard AF to resist a taco truck though
Baconlovesyoutoo
I know. My money's on loyalty to the tempting taco. Do taco trucks do doordash?
PileOfWalthers
Fuck I thought I was fat. I'm just some dumbfuck I.T. guy.
BeastofKnowledge
Sonicschilidogs
"No more fat soldiers"
enderite
A lot of facial hair there too.
JohnSatclaire
"Hey asshole! Sweep me like that again? I'll stuff the barrel so far up your ass, you'll be able to tongue-fuck that muzzle you can't keep track of!" -Dude on the right, probably
billstranger
Isn't that the same guy twice?...
SleepyHollowAppleTree
BiggRanger
Gravy Seals, lol.
I0VE525P00GE
Ground pork troops
SamaelQliphoth
Of the Department of the Mayonavy
Crispy4Skin
Green beignets
necrojoe
They are undercover as the "Da Bears" guys.
ButtersTheCat
LOL my husband said the same thing
GIMike1972
https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1N2w3eG94bXRvazVuOW9jZHBsc2J1ajdnM2FjaGhnYW95ZHQxdHRpeSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/73lCISNMvgpgc/200w.webp
lackadaisycull
They packing more chins than bags
OneCraftyHooker
Savage
oldmanfromscenetwentyfour
The real fuckin GRAVY SEALS
Cornflakes91
meal team six (and twelve, and 18, and midnight snack(
tallyhoho
How do I award a comment
siegfriedwatson
I thought Pete said no fatties were allowed in our military ranks, but the only 'loyalists' are so fucking out of shape from what I've seen.
NoUserNameIsTaken
that's weird
mesquiteTex
A lifestyle diet of Whataburger and chicken fried steak will do that.
Zixtank
The Green Buffets on the table, lads
SirBonSama
I thought Drumpf said he didn't want no fat servicemen?
SackTheRipper
I doubt they've logistically setup lodging and anything other than MRE for these "warriors". They'll be in plain clothes at a White Castle in no time.
KarlderMarder
It's the turkeyneck company
jackal12345
More chins than a chinese restaurant.
laurapede83
And the bags are filled with even more chins.
ActionJohnnie
More chins than a phone book in China.
SauceySandwich
That's the Naty Guard for you, Reserves are where it's at
lackadaisycull
*Fatty Guard
SauceySandwich
Naty = Natural Light , a well liked can of water in the Army, along with Lone Star and Busch
BoingBoingBoingBoingBoing
You may have a Hulk…….We have a Shrek
QotU
https://media1.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTY1YjkxZmJleXNzNXM3N2t0eTQ2OXNmMTl3cWcydWJuOHJ1cGh1dGl3M2JocXgwNiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/GpyS1lJXJYupG/200w.mp4
Groose
Why are we ragging on these guys? If im not mistaken, they don't get to choose where they are deployed or not they just so it because its their job. Mind you i could be incredibly wrong and if I am then I apologize
NemoPseudonymWuzHere
For obeying orders.
d4m4s74
"they're just following orders" isn't an acceptable defence since Neurenberg
PauliePlaysPoorly
How are these fat bastards supposed to chase anyone down?
Sebastopol140
Sitting on people's faces.
PauliePlaysPoorly
Eww.
Raventhief
Well, they just imagine everyone else as a barbecued drumstick.
PauliePlaysPoorly
Oh lordy don't get in the way.
boevis
That's what the guns are for. A couple of these guys are going to have been told that the "president will take care of you" and "we protect people who are dedicated to our cause" with it heavily implied that they should shoot protestors.
yesdearmetoo
What if you knew her and found her dead on the ground. How could you run when you know.
boevis
huh?
QuitLookinAtMineAim
Tin soldiers and Nixon coming, we're finally on our own.
johnxbear
This exactly
TheWombatStrikesAgain
Trump does have a history of pardoning war criminals and people who do illegal shit in his name.
marquettegoldeneagles
Ok then why even try. If were so fucked why even do anything? Guess we should all just lay down and wait to die? Go doom spiral somewhere else.
TheWombatStrikesAgain
Go draw your dumbass conclusions somewhere else.
woozle
I was in the Texas guard and they (we) were easily the laziest mofo's I ever served with and it was just one of my service periods.
Awmph
that's a good thing. eager and zealous mofos'd be worse
threepotatoesinatrenchcoat
I talked to a recruiter about joining the TNG after I got out of the Marines and was finishing up my degree. I should have known better, but he told me I aged out of the officers program (I was slated to graduate at 29), but I could keep my E-5 rank if I enlisted. Glad he lied to me, knowing how they're being used now.
tallyhoho
You think they're going to just say naw I'm out this is way too much work and I'm not getting paid enough to got shot on the south side
xj4low
On top of that, their time will be cut short before they are counted as fully enrolled. Most likely told to take a 2-3 days off assignment to reset the clock. Hard for these guys to keep their jobs back at home.
lrateyourrig
The "good" ones who get laid can get picked up in ICE. An unemployed workforce will do terrible things for money, if history echoes.
woozle
lol I expect them to do as much nothing as possible.
Atomic2
If only they were going to the southside. This is a show of force; they'll be in the loop and river north and thats it.
TheSecondPiewackit
Dude... Texans were consistently convinced they were the best shots, but always got Marksman at the range.
TheSecondPiewackit
And that was on Active. Not even the Nasty Girls.
BishlamekGurpgork
As a military illiterate, "getting marksman" is bad?
thorisalaptop
Marksman is basically “competent but not great”. Above marksman is “sharpshooter” and “expert”.
TheSecondPiewackit
If you don't get Marksman, they make you keep shooting until you get Marksman. It's basically the lowest passing grade.
sevenfingerman
I was a submariner and yeah, we had big guys. But not like that.
TheGoatsDad
Run Silent,
DdCno1
Were the most obese ones referred to as ballast at least?
woozle
there was a lot of pencil whipping on the PT tests. "Hey Hank, how many pushups you reckon we should put down this time?" "...73?" "okay, we'll put that down."
sevenfingerman
As long as they can fit through the weapon shipping hatch and know how to do their job.
johnblood616
Two guys I grew up with joined the TXNG. Two of the weakest, most pathetic losers you have ever met. I say this without hyperbole. True scumbags and nobodies. Less than nobody. Stupid idiots too. Complete morons. Also trashy. Trailer trash. I mean it. Beyond reproach.
kontroversialkarma
Sadly, Texas has become well recognized as the depository for dregs of society. This image is certainly proof of that.
When one realizes that texans use tremendous amounts of food stamp money from California to get that rotund. I find it terribly parasitic.
TexanSailor
Did… did someone tell you California subsidizes Texas with its state income tax?
Because if you’re talking about federal spending, this seems like a really dumb hill to die on.
kontroversialkarma
California is the fourth largest economy on the planet. Yes, they do subsidize the ghetto known as texas, with its state income tax. Are you a bot attempting to spread more misinformation? I find interacting with bots like you intolerably tedious.
TexanSailor
You are terribly misinformed sir. Californias state income tax gets spent in California, as they are not required to provide that money to the fed govt.
California’s federal income tax could get spent in Texas, sure, but Cali has a 5 trillion GDP while Texas is at 3 trillion… regardless DC decides how that fed money is spent so… you’re basically subsidizing DC and wars and not subsidizing “ghetto states.”
I hope this was helpful but you don’t exactly seem the reasonable type.
woozle
johnblood616
Is your name Rick? Mexican guy that hated "wetbacks" and knocked up 3 different women and didnt support kids. I dont think he has ever had a job beyond McDs when we were young. Went Evangelical in his 40s.
Or Chris? He was a creep who had like hardcore porn mag posters on his wall. His nickname was Prof Nymnal (Rescue Rangers) he was such a creepy little creep.
woozle
oooo, it was a close call. Glad I'm not one of them.
eadanke
Maybe they should deploy to my town then; it's basically one big tree covered hill, we'd whip those sad bastards into shape.
woozle
....are you a hobbit? you have to tell me if you are.
eadanke
I wouldn't say that I'm not a hobbit exactly, but I will admit that if you came around looking for hobbits you wouldn't find any.
BenYourFriend
There’s no rule that says I have to tell people that I’m a hobbit
woozle
GCRust
I dunno dude, sounds like that'd be in the Simarillion...
DarthGoodguy
It’s in Untold Tales of Middle Earth, Vol. 3. But it’s unfortunately not canon.