sirlapins
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A British soldier has cheated death after crashing into someone's roof and falling into their kitchen when his parachute failed to fully deploy during a training exercise in California.
The parachutist jumped out of a plane from 15,000ft in a High Altitude Low Opening exercise known as Halo which is used by the SAS and SBS for covert missions in hostile territory.
But the soldier started to spiral out of control when the parachute failed to fully deploy over the skies of Atascadero. HALO I just dropped in for cuppa of tea
He deployed his reserve parachute but it was too late and he continued his rapid descent towards the ground.
Residents called 911 after seeing him falling before he smashed into the house.
The impact left a huge hole in the tiled roof of the bungalow as the soldier fell through the loft and into the kitchen
The homeowners were out at the time of the incident at 4.55pm on July 6.
The soldier, wearing British special forces uniform, was pictured in the kitchen surrounded by dust and debris in the house, still attached to his harness.The soldier only received minor injuries from the crash landing and was taken to hospital for treatment.
The rest of the training group landed safely in the designated landing field A free new sky light !!
fuzzledwarf
That's my home town!
electricdreamachine
“Get the kettle on love, I’ll be dropping in soon”
DeeRow11B
“Death From Above! AIRBORNE!”
Hutt1818
“We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty”
PhenTsoksar
pushy blighting fuckers, aren't they?
Bristlehoundthree
TheRealPumpkinQueen
After watching how hard it was for mythbusters to put a piano through a roof, what
sirlapins
his jump bag hit first
intenseaf
We have decided that your injuries are not service related.
keliwan
I'm a fan of "service related - 0%"
Onebigcanuck
I thought there were rules about quartering British soldiers in homes in the US.
BlahBlahBlacksheep555
More like career ending injuries. How hard would you have to hit to break THROUGH a sheet of plywood?
Seethreepeeoh
People from Derry: [first_time.jpg]
sirlapins
ah patty , well said
ElBlaylocko
At least he didn't land on the cactus. That would have been some Looney Tunes shit right there.
EggFooYung
I hope the homeowner had Farmer's insurance. This would make a great Farmer's commercial.
jwillywill
UnitConversionBot
15,000ft ≈ 4.57 kilometres
Sheldonian
Good bot
elten
good bot
jwillywill
WhichIsIt
“I’m not hurt badly because I CrossFit”
labtob
lol people say that?
birthdaybaboon
I first thought it's a picture of a masked guy whacking a soldier with a fishing pole.
lurkilydurkiler
Me too!
ThunderStrike2021
15k is low/average, absolutely not HALO. That is at least 30k, you have to wear oxygen and Such for your jump.
sirlapins
Training, probably 1 load jump & he was not fully qualified
kamosey
Halolujah
JustAnotherVictimOfAmbientMorality
It's raining men!
Thewayofthebear
"Terribly sorry about your roof old bean, had a spot of bother with my parachute"
K3rp
Spit-spot, Albert Hall, meat and two veg, Big Ben, Dave Clark Five, pip-pip, cheerio.
Raygirl
'Cheer up old sport, just pop the kettle on and we'll have a cuppa and then see about this broken roof kerfuffle, wot wot?'
DaveTBull
Oh theres no chance any sas or sbs sound like that anymore
Thewayofthebear
Not unless they want to charm thier way out of breaking some yanks roof they don't
DaveTBull
You greatly underestimate the s.a.s if you think theyll have to charm a way out of a redneck shotgun situation
phuzz00
Jokes on him, Americans don't have enough voltage so their kettles take twice as long to boil.
Duskspeed
THE BRITISH ARE COMING!
SykesFairbairn
Come in Mandrake the redcoats are coming ... feed me!
AkaStarLord
Shit, 1 if by land, 2 if by sea, 3 if by air?
Putitinyomama
FweejTheOverseer
dude. the british are already here.
DougDeNasty
They're not even breathing hard.
NoUserNamesLeftToChooseFrom
Lucky he missed that dish drainer!!
NoUserNamesLeftToChooseFrom
… and those two cactuseses
DancesWithHippos
"A free new skylight" is what the government will claim when asked to cover the damages to the property.
RefAtty
Yeah, the gov will pay for it. It happens usually with errant equipment drops though.
JeffwiththeNukes
Freaking government handouts!!!
sirlapins
i think the pommie gov will be easier to deal with
DancesWithHippos
They were doing this in California. I don't think the UK will be involved.
sirlapins
in peace time ,most gov's cover their soldiers action while training allied country
DancesWithHippos
I'll take your word for it. I doubt my renter's insurance would cover something like that, but what do I know?
jsancton7
Correct, your rents prob wont cover it . The home owners insurance will
sirlapins
could you image the assessor's face when he read the claim .
IowaOma
"The homeowners were out at the time of the incident...". Who the hell is the guy in the shorts?! Who took the photo?
sirlapins
neighbours who ran to help ?
whopoopedinmypants2
First picture: "ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY"
ThicclikePaulBunyan
The comment i was looking for.
insomniax20
Same thing happen Ed to a friend of mine in the Royal Marines. Broke his back though..
KamonDS
Luckily he didn't end up inside a MAGA guy house, otherwise he would have opened fire to defend himself from the foreign invader.
okwhat
Weird how you turned this into a political thing.
[deleted]
[deleted]
tkemp315
I don’t think a MAGA guy would know the difference between a USA soldier and a British one TBH they would just see a soldier and assume USA
KamonDS
At least until the soldier in question exclaims: "Bloody hell, my ankle!!"
AbsolutelyNotTheNSA
*"Ahh for fucks sake! Me bastard ankles fucked!"
interesseret
Origh oright wots this then?! You got a loisense for them ankles?
[deleted]
[deleted]
WenTheEternallySurprised
Especially in that neck of the backwoods.
platapus77
Hey now, I live in Atascadero. But your not wrong.
WenTheEternallySurprised
I only say it with a mix of love, respect, and honesty...
GCRust
"MUH THIRD AMENDMENT RIGHTS!" *Shotgun blast*
orbitn
that was clever. bravo.
TorrentialUpPour
Clearly he was an allied force liberating this patriot from a lack of skylights ;)
Beezlebubble
What part of California? Might find some oil...
PictureArchiver
The foreigner invader being a member of the Regiment, I have not high hopes for the survivability of the MAGA guy.
ElbowDeepInAPoliceState
Cream of the wehrmacht got rolled by a bumch of Cretan civilians with ancient shotguns and pitchforks.
PictureArchiver
The Wehrmacht had nothing on the SAS. They’re like: serious, with the whole warrior ethos, it’s their day job. MAGA guy is fucked.
AbsolutelyNotTheNSA
Even with two broken legs he'd still win.
ASneakyTurtle
So who pays for the repairs? Do they send a bill to the Queen?
FishInThePercolator
.
GuacamoleMoleMolester
"Dude, you owe me taxes for 250 years, get lost."
Munnin41
Yes
Filanwizard
homeowners insurance, Then they will see reoperations from whoever was operating the aircraft. probably joint exercise so USAF.
Longdogg
Probably the US. Chances are that he is using the American issued parachute which has a poor record Vs the British one
Potatokil1er
This was most likely a joint exercise. The US military would take responsibility for this.
brassmule
The guy's joints definitely paying the price for this exercise.
a2s2020
The quite challenging HANO jump (High Altitude No Opening)
minipancho94
courtesy of "Deathworlder's". HELLNO-Jump: High Exit Long Line No Opening jump.
clamdriver
Minor injuries? So he must be wearing those Christmas socks his mum gave him last year.
PhenTsoksar
Don't Do what Deadpool Does Do.
InfOracle
Hahahahahahahaha
KevinStrexcorp
Or the High Altitude Low-No Opening, commonly referred to as the Hell No jump
attylloyd
this is the best comment
minipancho94
"Deathworlder's" does it a bit better, but they're also doing it from orbit. HELLNO-Jump: High Exit Long Line No Opening jump.
Lierofox
Wait... how did I not hear about this? I live 5 minutes from Atascadero.
stabmasterarsondamc
if you had just looked up you might’ve seen him.
sirlapins
July 6th 9500 block via cielo
platapus77
Hi neighbor.
Lierofox
Howdy! Dan's Grub Shack still in business? I've hardly left Templeton/Paso the entire last year or so.
platapus77
Idk, haven’t gone there in years. I recommend the French Bistro.
kanemano
well , dont just stand there, put the kettle on
ArtOfKarolMichalec
Well, don't just stand there, abuse black football players online
whitebbwolf
harsh. the man has not even had a cuppa yet. Give him at least time to catch this breath, there´s a good lad.
cheesecutter
“Ere! Put tha fackin kettle on, innit?”
bigbadgrizzly
Milk one sugar please
whitebbwolf
Mobile Infantry is equipped with kettles 4 tea in their tanks. I do trust SAS commandos possess the ability to fashion a cuppa anywhere
OmnipotentBeing
Bmxtucker
Nah we’ve got laws against soldiers eating our food and sleepin in our beds lmao
RemingtonStyle
I read this in John Cleese's voice
TeaOverdose
tea fixes everything
Luficer
Spiffing
PoorSucker
He looks like he needs afternoon tea.
clamdriver
And maybe a biscuit...
TeddyBearWitch
He needs a builder's brew and maybe with a lot of whiskey.
phuzz00
NATO standard is milk and two sugars. (also British Standard BS6008 and ISO 3103)
JustSomePersonThere
No thank you Turkish, I’m sweet enough!
Trumpolicious
Do you know what nemesis means?
JustSomePersonThere
Awww shit I forgot the response to this! I know it ends with ‘ORRIBLE CUHNT: ME!
BurdenedWithAGloriousPorpoise
JustSomePersonThere
Aw fuck that’s tight. Thank youuuuu!
Malekai18
This is one of the best comments ever!!!
Trumpolicious
Homeowner: The what?
Danack
Paratrooper: "All is lost. Please airstrike my exact position."
clamdriver
Looks like he wearing a plastic shield on his face and trying to sell that poor soldier a fishing rod. California fur sure.
sirlapins
obsured SAS/SBS members do not want their id known
venomlash
Where you come from, do you put the kettle on?
DaveTBull
Pop, put, stick, bung it on,