DadOnTheInternet
191349
3327
45
Nov 12, 2021 3:23 PM
DadOnTheInternet
191349
3327
45
Richter12x2
#2 in college Accounting, I got busted studying French. The teacher said "Why are you reading French in my class?" "I'm passing YOUR class"
MoralRectifier
Friend of mine submitted his stat homework as a 3D graph he did in excel. Prof held up the page and said, "What is this? This is nerd."
3Davideo
#2 Worst. Literature. Teacher. Ever.
PWBoiler
Had a professor whose wife left him one weekend and his entire lecture on Monday was just her secret family recipe for Biscuits & Gravy.
CelticmoonKate
I had a Home Ec teacher teach the class to make a cake, then told us it was her MIL's secret family recipe. Because she hates her.
ShareYourDonuts
I had a gov’t teacher who wore transition lenses. We always made excuses for him to look out the window so he would turn back wearing shades
ahmuisemhacadeo
I once had a history professor walk into a lecture 15 mins late and ruffled. Turns out he was hit by a car while cycling to university 1/2
ahmuisemhacadeo
He was fine. He wanted to relax and drink his soup in relative peace, so he spent the rest of the time telling us fun facts about potatoes.
spyhermit
That's the opposite of fine. That's a man who was in shock and needed some time to decompress. I'm glad he was able to do so.
delecti
I absolutely don't miss being a student, but I super miss the vibe of college.
stronomer
#2: serious asshole. How to fail at making an interesting class so that the intrinsic motivation of students still wins, then destroy that.
ActualZedAxial
#5 wut
TeflonTrout
I gamed out my hs algebra class score based on the syllabus, I could skip almost all homework and still pass on my 95% or better tests...
TeflonTrout
Teacher was (rightfully) sick of my shit. Simultaneously fucked me and helped everyone else by taking 20 points off the finals' total.
princessdogface
As a tenured college instructor, agree 100% with the shenanigans. I know several profs with well stocked bars in their offices.
BallDoctor
Tenured is the key here.
CoherentLemur
Walked into an office to see a prof pulling a new bottle from a whole case of Kahlua. We eyed each other up, and pretended it didn't happen.
FormerlySable
I’m a former college instructor who makes her own kahlua.
ReginaKasteen
IStartConversationsAndThenGetBoredWithMyOwnPoint
In HS AP class I kept chatting with a girl I had a crush on. Teach put us out in the hallway to not disturb his lecture. Dude wingmaned me>
IStartConversationsAndThenGetBoredWithMyOwnPoint
>but I totally botched it. "I guess he's really mad at us; we should should just sit out here and be quiet I guess" God damn I was an idiot.
StatelyRavenOfTheSaintlyDaysOfYore
#9 standard title for non-binary is Mx, pronounced meks. It's been in use since the 70s. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mx_(title)
captapathy
What bothered me about the story was how they made 40 sound old.
wkearney99
Got caught snacking in class, teach asks the usual "Did you bring enough for everyone?".... open duffel bag... WHY YES, I DID! Chaos ensues
FireSolvesProblems
#2 I'm a college graduate, yet I fear and respect this man.
3dartwork
#1 how would no one smell that? Soup can be smelled uncooked from 5-7 feet at least. How'd they get a thermose in?
brobinson2001
Thermos' are air-tight, and have a vacuum between the inner & outer walls.
3dartwork
He opens the thermos to drink out of it. The point was for him to eat during class undetected
LadyLatte
My 4th grade math teacher hid the textbook I forgot in the classroom, then made me stay in from recess because I had lost the book.
seyne
#2 jokes on him, there was a study that found people actually rate their enjoyment of stories higher if they have the ending spoiled
ifididnothaveabellybuttonwherewouldiputallmylint
Just read the same book they are currently reading lol.
seyne
before reading it (at least for short stories)
ChainmailleAddict
If I have the ending of a story spoiled I will only read it at gunpoint. You know how EXCITING IT IS to NOT know what happens?!
ErynGalen
I've googled many a book or movie ending to see if it was worth getting emotionally invested in the plot
Archaon6044
Dumbledore kills Bruce Willis, and Snape was already dead!
folded13
That is not what that study said. Yes, I read the original paper.
ClawsOfTheWolf
My chemistry teacher during the exam "Don't talk to each other during the test. Whisper instead so you don't bother the other students."
ridureyu
I tried that, the students responded by making howler monkey noises and throwing a chair.
ClawsOfTheWolf
My teacher was senile. He literarily gave a student the book to read DURING THE TEST after the student had asked about a question...
redwrangler9942
My new science teacher went over our final exam, gave us credit for homework we never submitted, good times!
arhalts
Some profs have open book tests and just don't formally mention it unless asked learned that when one handed a student a boom and said
arhalts
The test was closed book
SergeiBoobtitsky
I had a biology professor walk in, bat away a fly, and then say under his breath a bit too close to the mic "God I hope that was real..."
SergeiBoobtitsky
He then proceeded to tell us about all of his trips to South America and how high he got in the jungle licking frogs.
Asteroidrules
Guess that explains why he wasn't sure it was real.
somnif
I had a p.chem professor who was such a 60s acid casualty that he'd often be like, startled by inanimate objects. The lectures were tedious.
SergeiBoobtitsky
That sucks. This guy was a great lecturer and was actually really engaging and interesting, just a bit quirky. Because of the drugs.
somnif
Yeah, dude would spend ~45 min of each 50min class repeating the previous lecture verbatim. It was VERY slow going.
somnif
But, easy A. Tests were from the homework, and he'd work the homework problems out during discussion periods, and you could bring notes in.
ducalme
I had to re-read #15 because I couldn't figure out how a thesaurus was full of NyQuil.
boevis
My Chemistry Professor was a Buddhist Lesbian Communist. She had a timer set to play a meditation charm every 15 minutes and went silent>
boevis
when it went off. The last 15 min of class was usually occupied by an anecdote about her Argentinian lover or a rant about the evils of >
boevis
capitalism (she was Russian). She had us put our name, class info, and pronouns on a piece of tented paper. For the first week she was very>
boevis
insistent on it being on our desk, by the end of class I was the only one with it still on my desk because my name is constantly misspelled>
boevis
I was the only person to get an A, and she used me (never by name) as proof that she wasn't an awful teacher. She was, I had already taken >
boevis
the class and was retaking it because I missed too many labs the first time, which is an auto-fail. Anyway, on the last day, she called me >
semifancy
My Russian history prof showed up to class wasted and went on to tell INSANE stories about Russia. In a Russian accent. He was American.
wingineer
Was he the one they call...The Machine?
semifancy
We just called him Rex.
imasneakypineapplehead
Such a good stand up
fuznotfuz
I have always hated the eye contact meme. This is the original, and it's stunning:
fuznotfuz
https://www.museodelprado.es/en/the-collection/art-work/execution-of-torrijos-and-his-companions-on-the/cc128630-425b-4752-a805-008d26556bbb
SteveMND
My anthro prof once tried to register his "Cannibalism & Human Sacrifice" class as a lab as opposed to a lecture, but they wouldn't let him.
Benki6wbh
Of course not cadavers are expensive
WhatzitTooya
...I wonder how many people here had, uhhh... second thoughts when reading "anthro prof".
SteveMND
Hey, I had to abbreviate some words just to fit all the text in! But, um *quick site search* here then:
Dogman1227
You...um, you gonna post the sauce?
SteveMND
Oh hell no. I just did a google search for something already on Imgur that might fit the joke!
mojawa
Would this prof be Dr. Lector?
ExTechOp
I think he went by Dr. Roman Fell?
Jackeea
No, he didn't want a lector, he wanted a lab
hardytardigrade
I think lectors can have issues with hip dysplasia
zethma
ImSilverTongue
XuncuTheTiger
*chef's kiss*
kamosey
#4 Errrr... how else do you check for mail?
BlacknCrimsonRose
The clarifier was "regularly", which seems to imply they do it on infrequent occasions.
RunsNakedThroughSwamps
Just shove your arm in
Leonon
I look in from a distance in case there's an opossum in there.
RunsNakedThroughSwamps
Opossums are so soft though!
kamosey
Like some kind of weirdo?
MoonyT
i've tried that. The problem with that method is you cant see because your arm is in the way.
RunsNakedThroughSwamps
Have you tried having an eye relocated to your hand or wrist? Then your arm won't be in the way
MoonyT
That sounds expensive. There has to be a better way! Sounds like a job for that Unnecessary Inventions Guy!
buttdestroyer
I had a teacher that once punished me for talking during class by moving my seat from the first row of the class to the last row. Where my >
idontlikepickingusername
I had a professor in a third year engineering class make me change seats for too much noise. I dropped my pen.
TakeYouAway
My "life and careers" teacher would make you move your desk to be right up against his if you were late or talking in class lol always funny
mustbethedragon
I've used this with my students. I call it babysitting.
buttdestroyer
Buddy at the time was also seated. So... That went well.
Snooj
If this was in college I think he's saying it's your nickel so it's fine to fuck around but don't bother anyone else.
buttdestroyer
It was not. I was like 15 or 14 at the time and I fully admit that my behaviour was shitty to begin with. The punishment just didn't work.
swarthod
I was always very chatty in school, so I got moved all the time. I finally got moved by myself against a wall, but then I just talked louder
phridoo
I got moved into the hall once, desk & all. Turns out, being sat at a desk in the hall is a great conversation starter for passers by
JPwold
So you are saying you were a dick on purpose. Nice
starrs3
I got the same treatment except i got really good at lip reading.
KentuckyFriedForeskin
Oh, so you were the kid I hated who didn't have the sense to stfu when the teacher is trying to teach.
RunanD
¹I was finished with a math test once and started reading something with like 3 pages to go. The teacher wordlessly took it away. I was an
RunanD
²assistant librarian who just so happened to have brought that copy to turn in because I found my own home copy. So I pulled out the second
RunanD
³copy. There's some giggles, she sighs, and takes this one too. A girl is now fully done with this woman's shit and starts going off
RunanD
⁴about how this teacher always acts like she has something to prove and the test was over, and we both get sent to the principal lmao.
Bojovnik84
I hate that I have a burning desire to point out it is roll, not role in #9. The fuck is with me?
prtfvr
When you find out, let me know because that bothered me too.
PacMan4Life
#9 would be even better if their last name was Sanders
Rheios
I'd have just have used "young master" or maybe "honorable". If they were older too "venerable"
DukeDarkwood
Potter or Blake would also do well.
venomlash
Sandurz, even
TrustMeImADog
I have real doubts about the veracity of #9. It reads like a Tumblr teen fan-fic, and is only missing "then they all clapped".
pizzapartyhard
Why did he ask only one person about their preferred pronouns?
PacMan4Life
I'm assuming the teacher had spoken about it with the student before, but just wasn't sure what they wanted to be called
TrustMeImADog
It also glibly ignores that assuming someone might be non-binary based on how they look could be hurtful itself.
Wasnbo
First guess, the "here" was more like "hErE???" and the professor picked up on the uncertainty.
albaboss
I always use “Commander” for my non-binary students. I’m also really into “Mr.” and ”Miss” and it’s hard to find a good alternative. Ideas?
TrustMeImADog
Drop the title. Easy. That child is now Smith.
XplodingUnicornGlitter
I actually googled this for my sibling just yesterday - it’s Mx! Pronounced “mix” or “mux”
pizzapartyhard
Cadet?
moxieCakeBaron
I once had an English teacher fail me for the year while telling me I was a better writer than him and must the kids in the class, reason
xyxyxyxy31
JLB36602
I had an English teacher who would give us extra credit whenever we found a vocab word we just learned in a book we were reading, and for
JLB36602
some reason the Star Wars books I loved to read (late 90s/early 2000s) were loaded with these vocab words. Eventually she had to re-write
JLB36602
the policy to 1 extra credit vocab word per week and she told me to stop reading so many Star Wars books.
moxieCakeBaron
Nothing wrong with reading star wars books. I had a science teacher I liked I asked him so many questions out of class he limited me to 3
moxieCakeBaron
Given was my poor grammar skills as I feel through some cracks and was never taught. The teacher also never took the slightest attempt at
moxieCakeBaron
Helping me improve them, just always said your story is great grammar is bad here's a 69 one point below failing. He showed me my grade
sylkysmooth
Ah, a fellow person who also had anything below a 70 be failing. I still remember the faces of so many transfer students when they'd >
sylkysmooth
> transfer in and immediately be failing like half their classes or more because they had maintained like a 60 in their other school which >
sylkysmooth
> there was the bare minimum to pass. "Good" times.
moxieCakeBaron
At the end of the school year 69.9 which by school policy should round up when I got my report card it was a 69 I ended up in summer school
ChainmailleAddict
Dude! Commas, periods and structure! They taught you this a long time ago.
TielKiri
Sounds like they didn’t, though
Snooj
He could have at least taught you about periods.
neryaf
That's really a job for the parents.
Spidey209
That's sex ed
TygrF
You have my sympathies but judging by what you've written here alone, dude had a point. Consider hiring a dedicated editor. Even for social
moxieCakeBaron
When I have limited character space and typing on my phone I tend to prioritize getting the message across without wasting much time
TygrF
media comments.