ShizStain
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Aug 17, 2022 9:50 PM
ShizStain
224248
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43
IsaystoMable
I love how this posting evolved. From aww cute to holy shit!
at0msea
I mean. Still shout out to Paris Hilton. If she kept it.
SherMattLockSmith
My mom has a couple that are a mix of kune kune and Vietnamese pot-belly pigs, one of them loves to cuddle with her on her recliner to nap.
misterecho
Butters grew up big and strong!
ShizStain
You butter believe it
RexLibris
"Pigs are much bigger than you expect" Martin
Cactus21
ProfessorVanDiggenSagg
Cranbananarama
So giant, crazed boar scenes in anime aren't all that exaggerated then.
Drix1942
Princess Mononoke is the shit, man. :)
atomicsockmonkey
Just the size. The "fuck everyone" attitude is all natural.
BeeButtes
Paris is actually a pretty dope person.
StarscreamAndHutch
Misteree8
*Shooting star by bag raiders* starts to play
tiptoeingthru
Musgofarrin
Literally goals
DaierMune
"Cry Havoc and let slip the hogs of war!"
Targe0
Can we all just take a moment to pay respect to the first crazy son of a bitch who saw a wild Hog and said to themselves ->
Targe0
"I'm gonging to farm that thing" and then actually pulling it off. Utter mad lad that one.
Imsomewhatofaboobmyself85
Never trust a man with a pig farm.
Targe0
Especially when its the first one and they are all still giant Hogs.
FrogBotherer
Pigs really are bigger than you'd expect.
DukeDarkwood
I referenced that captain. understood.
FatBastardVegetarian
Musgofarrin
Depends on if you grew up seeing pigs as rideable or not
Targe0
Part the the disconnect is that most people only see the young ones as a lot of commercial farms "Harvest" ->
Targe0
them while young so they are naturally smaller. Often done before they reach sexual maturity as that's when their sent glands kick in ->
Targe0
and can change the flavour to be much gamier which people like less.
MightyMile
And louder.
meganical
Tig ol piggies
ChorizoPig
My healthy 15 y.o. potbelly pig, Chorizo, is 124#.
Carl99
Awww give scritches please.
WhisperingJeffGoldblum
Is that a pig harness? Do you walk Chorizo or does he walk YOU?
ChorizoPig
I walk him twice a day!
ChorizoPig
luckeyjack
You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body 1/1
luckeyjack
2/1 that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. 2/1
nemocares
I doubt their table manners though, so scrubbing away all the DNA evidence afterwards may be a chore and a half.
luckeyjack
3/1 Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig."
FloatingOnACloudOfTitties
Musgofarrin
Why is everyone quoting Snatch?
FloatingOnACloudOfTitties
Because…
HikariShade
Because it's true info... Look up the Pickton case in BC, Canada.
Unholytrashpanda
Fyi micropigs don't exist. They are malnourished potbellied pigs who are bred very young. The malnourishment early on stunts their growth.
SometimesISayHistoryStuff
Fun fact about wild boars and medieval hunting. We have a fair few hunting treatises on what animals should be hunted to teach a young >
SometimesISayHistoryStuff
knight about the skills needed for fighting in battles. There is some information about how it's useful to hunt stags or hares or whatever,>
SometimesISayHistoryStuff
but to really teach you the fear and struggle of combat it was suggested to hunt two animals above all: bears and boars.
Targe0
Basically the only way to teach you to fight with your life on the line, is for your life to be on the line.
MrE158
Also bears and boars will do their best to kill you even if wounded, most animals try to flee if at all possible when hurt.
buttcreambandit
Pig ol bigs
Endocrom
dashriproc1
Family in Austin, TX imported Russian boars to guard their property. They found human bones, likely left after the boars ate trespassers.
Ponderpoo
As an Austinite...can I come pet them. I will accept my fate. I just want to boop them.
TuurDeCabooter
Our wild boars are easier to handle https://similarbutdifferentanimals.com/2018/11/28/central-european-wild-boar/
TomatoPepper
pumba
jdfotopoop
Thanks for including the unhinged person all caps screaming on tumblr. Its been a while.
FatBastardVegetarian
Howmuchistoomuchspam
“I know how big they get and I want one“ - Me
ChorizoPig
Best book I've found on keeping pigs as pets: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1930580746/
KnifeKnut
You wouldn't aim for the mouth, but they would indeed further impale themselves on an unlugged spear in order to try to fight back.
Targe0
I mean there was reason they hunted them in full armor with a group of like 30 men with hounds and horses.
Chickenlicker
out of interest, what does that little brace piece do that makes a difference?
PullThePinAndCountToWhat
Basically stops the spear from driving in all the way down the shaft, so you're not within tusk range. Sure, you do more damage w/o it, >>
PullThePinAndCountToWhat
>> but pigs (and other large beasts like bears and moosen) are so fuck off tough they'll fight with that whole thing running through them.
KnifeKnut
Cross piece is wider than the wound. Oftentimes it is mounted perpendicular to the cutting edges to increase effectiveness
kittyperfect
Look at the adoration on that piggies face!
1337bobbarker
There has never been a boar that size. Even the biggest recent fake was only 1060lbs.
c64masterrace
HelaSisterOfThor
I watched Paris' documentary. She's a fascinating person. She wanted to be a vet. Had tons of pets growing up. She's not the "persona."
meganical
She could solve lot of the world’s or even just her own country’s problems with her money, but she chooses not to do that without tax breaks
LiquidSillyness
As a lady with large feet, learning Paris started a shoe line for her also large feet, really melted my view of her.
NoQuestionMarksInDeclarativeSentences
You likely just educated a lot of foot fetishists.
Cheomesh
Yeah she's an odd one.
Wyrdbunny
There are tons of people in therapy trying to overcome how they were raised. Can't say I would do much better.
Zeterai
Wanna bet she'd be a better president than the last one?
Recidivous
Her publicity in the early Oughts were not kind to her.
nomorehate
I remember that spoof music video about her going to prison
AfterTheRainComesTheRainbow
I enjoyed her in Repo! - especially when I learned her costumes in the movie were from her own wardrobe
mmmurppp
I’m fascinated that she can be so sexy yet not classically beautiful.
Clarysage
She seems to have a pretty good sense of humour about the persona she made for herself, judging from all her cameos.
bemxuu
There are many people who cannot distinguish between a character and an actor playing it.
KawaiiInari
I still want to see it. From what I read it sounds like she was pushed to be that person we all detested. Sounds sad.
Rorysaurus
People want the party girl Paris persona. Its what gets her money and gigs. She had a brief appearance on RPDR and she sounded so different
HelaSisterOfThor
Coping mechanism for the abuse she suffered. Def watch it. It's on YouTube.
InTangier
She did act the part tho, and cashed on that fame.
aThingWithTheStufAndTheJunk
I actually remember reading the article that introduced her to the world. Think it was in the NY Times and it both played up her persona 1/
aThingWithTheStufAndTheJunk
while also noting that it was very much an act and how she was remarkably intelligent.
Kat1997
How many kids (or adults) do you think would have done any different knowing that thier family is reliant on that image.
Kat1997
Yeah, she did so under enormous preasure fron her parents and family, she was expected to provide for them while still underage
InTangier
I get that her story is tragic but frankly we need better idols. I'm sad for her but in the end we got another basic person (albeit acting)
FloatingOnACloudOfTitties
She’s not nearly the asshole the media made her out to be. She seems like a nice person who just happens to be an heiress…?♀️
PoppaBigBear
Didn't think she was an asshole, just thought she was pretty with nothing else. Glad to be proven wrong.
HelaSisterOfThor
She went through some terrible shit.
NoQuestionMarksInDeclarativeSentences
Such as?
Euchale
also had a sex tape leaked of her.
FloatingOnACloudOfTitties
https://www.newsweek.com/paris-hilton-speaks-out-alleged-sexual-abuse-boarding-school-1705905
KLUSTENATOR
Everywhere like such as...
arego8967
Her parents sent her to a boarding school for troubled teens and it was an abusive place. She's trying to get it shut down
HelaSisterOfThor
Yup. She's been testifying in front of congress and state legislatures to strengthen laws to protect kids from abusive schools.
smegmaspread
Not to take away from her but lots of people want to be vets. Then you actually try to do it and realize it’s more selective than med school
NoQuestionMarksInDeclarativeSentences
Link?
smegmaspread
smegmaspread
But for real, it’s all about the number of vet schools vs med schools. California has 16 schools where you can get your MD and 2 for vets
smegmaspread
There are only 32 schools in the entire United States that offer degrees in veterinary medicine.
smegmaspread
You literally have a better chance of being a human doctor than you do to be an animal doctor.
FloatingOnACloudOfTitties
Then deal w/ the extremely high suicide rate for people in the veterinarian business…
rbudrick
Her stop being poor shirt, persona or not, was a horrible thing to wear. Hard to come back from stuff like that.
AuthenticEunuchHorn
Really, I never forgave her for shitting on all the people from that dumb show she had. I don't care if (if) they ended up well-paid after.
Kat1997
She projected that image because its what her family demanded, she was increadibly young and being preasured to provide for her family
Akurei00
Not what her shirt originally said. Photoshopped. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/paris-hilton-stop-being-poor-shirt/
FlyByGRider
If you don't want to find the pic, it says stop being desperate
HelaSisterOfThor
That was photo shop.
HighFunctioningAlcoholic
That was photoshop...
rbudrick
To all who replied, thank you for the correction. Oddly, I remember this even being on the news as a scandal, hence my not thinking abt it.
Kat1997
She actually never said "stop being poor" a lot of the shit the media said about her was at best an exaggeration and often an outright lie.
PoliticalWanderer
Yeah, pigs are BIG suckers. There's a reason why they can eat 2 pounds of uncooked flesh in a minute. (If you know, you know)
OmnesMundiLardum
Frank knows
Blethigg
Hence the expression; As greedy, as, a pig.
LrrrRulerofThePlanetOmicronPerseiVIII
Never trust a man with a pig farm
2Cats1Box
I, too, have done my share of writing research :)
MultiOfPersonality
"writing research" uh huh, lmao
Bunhyung
"Hey Cordell! Why don't you push him in? You can always say it was me."
NotTheMamaNotTheMama
?
tanebot
Do you mind telling us who the f**k you are?
PoliticalWanderer
Other than somebody who feeds people to pigs, of course. (Honestly though, isn't that everything he should have needed to know?)
thedarkcanuck
The name Robert Pickton comes to mind
beastdude2003
Get your tounge out of my asshole garyyyyy
TrowelAndError
That was why everyone freaked out when Dorothy almost fell into the pig pen in Wizard of Oz
Badseedx3
They will go through bone like buttah!
FloatingOnACloudOfTitties
Misteree8
Ello ther govnah!
apostlepk
Do you know what Nemesis means?
ShellPhish
A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent, personified in this case by a 'orrible *unt, me
RabidDingo
Nemesis.
Protanope
In the quiet words of the virgin Mary, come again?
Yellowdart49
Are they lancashire pigs?
NoQuestionMarksInDeclarativeSentences
Why do ya fink they call im the bullet dodga'?
potentiallyunsafe
Good thing I don't have a nemisis
A3rdParty
Aww, that is so sad. I'll be your nemisis! I'll start on the pig pen now, look you up later. Sound good?
potentiallyunsafe
PoliticalWanderer
They're 'orrible cunts, they are.
tentacularfleshscape
Personified in this case
SmokyTrumpets
Hence the expression....
Zeroforwinger
They go through bone like butter
ThroughTheLookingGlass
Like butter you say....hmm
WineEmDineEm69em
"Butt-uh"
orbitn
I can eat two pounds of their cooked flesh in a minute too so it evens out
jacblake
This guy knows…
MultiOfPersonality
Mitch McConnell in his younger days!
Nostradamuswaswrong
Still can't believe that was Gary Oldman.
JackHerge
Excuse me?!
Nostradamuswaswrong
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mason_Verger
DoNotTryThisAtHome
Simply one of the better actors of our time
WyrdJamie
Hannibal reference?
FloatingOnACloudOfTitties
I’m thinking Snatch…
PoliticalWanderer
Snatch. In it a crime boss has a tendency to use starved pigs as the way to dispose of bodies. https://youtu.be/2xUynRdzzsM
WyrdJamie
It's been longer since I've seen Snatch, so I forgot. Pigs eat a person in one of the Hannibal movies & they mention facts like that.
QueenOfTheFey
So...like the Robert Pickton, but a crime boss?
EaNasirIsABastard
If you fed a body to pigs the DNA would be in the soil for years. Have you ever tried to clean blood of 100 pigs?
ThroughTheLookingGlass
What about a pressure washer and extra dirt or diff animal DNA to mix with it n mess up the sample? or.. what if u just add more blood?!
EaNasirIsABastard
They can take a sample and find 100s of DNA within it then filter out. If it's your farm you will have explaining to do.
QueenOfTheFey
You're over estimating modern forensic science my dude.
orbitn
are we gonna talk about your name
EaNasirIsABastard
No
SingleDadLife
But teeth and hair upset their tumm tumms
Comet260
The phrase "tumm tumm" reminds me of the Goliaths from Borderlands 2.
WhistlinDickC
3 ninjas
CoffinFullOfPudding
Teeth can be a valuable source of calcium for gardeners or perhaps those with chickens
wabitgirl
It's not so much that it upsets their tummies, but rather that enamel and keratin don't break down in their stomachs and can be id'd
flyinghamstick
Kind of like corn in my diet
SqueezitTheClown
The correct answer. Bricktop was being cheeky. Hence “You can do it after, but you don’t wanna go sifting through pig shit, now do ya?”
Bronymous
Could you imagine 30-50 of those running theough your front yard?
Lew4731
Paris Hiltons? Hell yeah.
Kyrorayne
huxleyy
Perfect response thank you
TheWorldAccordingToAtlas
Gotta start by imagining a front yard.
RailRabbit
METROlD
RIDE THE PIG
meskarune
Yes, happened to me in Texas. I heard oinking and looked outside, boar everywhere digging up mushrooms. Yard was ruined lol We let them be.
meskarune
Not like you can tell giant boar what to do lol I was not expecting the oinking sounds though, sounds just like a pig. Also shit was everywh
Gestalt7
*Their yard
Hypothesist
cancel that order for fertilizer
kerrigan778
I get the joke but worth noting that wild boar and feral hogs are not quite the same. Both are dangerous though and they do often interbreed
tomyironmane
Welcome to Texas.
huxleyy
Perfect response thank you
omnipotentpasta
Where my kids play?
Onlyhereforthelaughs
You mean THEIR front yard. I'm merely living in it.
Penguinsandbroadswords
This is why I understand Texas making it legal to hunt them with AR15's from a helicopter.
meskarune
They roam around in big packs / herds too (idk what a group of boar is called)
BatsArentBugs
No I cannot.
LoadedBakedPotatoes
I can imagine, but I would need 50 claymores to stop them from ruining my lawn.
JohnBrooks2001
They destroyed my 1 1/2 yard over 2 nights. 30 year old plants and bushes and grass dug up.All my neighbors yards too. we killed about 20
Donoiw
Worse: All of them have come to your house because they smell food there somewhere
BatsArentBugs
Or your yard, because of the milkshakes.
jimmythehat1
JustTryingToHelpDude
Probably why moats where invented in the first place.
BrutaldeLuxe
Lots of boar where I live and they roam in packs. One night and your entire lawn and kitchen garden is gone at least they taste kinda ok.
OmnipotentBeing
alt1387
YoSamiteSam
There are over 7 million feral hogs in the US. They are organized into herds of up to several thousand and move in formations over 1km wide.
WristDeepInaBook
yes. Next question please
TitillatingPterodactyl
One Paris Hilton is enough thank you.
gbombuh
That’s hot.
DoNotUseMyUsername
Splitlicker
BearUnhinged
DemSumBigAssRidges
FujiJustin
CanadaEhBuddy
My favourite role she has done is when she was in Supernatural
itsthevoiceman
She's sexy and a nice person. More would be fine, really.
ProfessorVanDiggenSagg
"Nice person" may be debatable. But I've seen her sex tape. Definitely nothing sexy there.
CommanderXirlos
Sex tapes are always disappointing. “You know that hot person you’d want to fuck? Here’s them not knowing how, nor the guy recording.”
ProfessorVanDiggenSagg
True that. However, no matter how amateurish, you can expect at least some sort of participation in sex. Dead fish had more zeal than Paris.
Inphiltration
It's almost as if celebrities are not actually as beautiful as they present themselves and just have a shit ton more resources then most
mercyPandaRunner
Most wild boars are smaller though. Those giant ones are exceptions.
Imsomewhatofaboobmyself85
I heard that that the giant ones are hybrids that came from domestic pigs escaping and interbreeding with the feral Hogs resulting in 1/2
mercyPandaRunner
No, there definitely are huge boars. There are also 2m tall humans. Domestic pig x wild boar hybrids are a different story.
mercyPandaRunner
Those are sometimes called "superpigs" or "stone sge pigs" and tend to be less shy than wild ones but as robust as wild ones.
EchoDelta141
AC-130 inbound
aThingWithTheStufAndTheJunk
Feral hogs are not that large. They look more like squat, pudgy deer prancing around. Source: have seen them prancing around.
Cranbananarama
Is that a reference I'm understanding?
[deleted]
[deleted]
theactualfrickinmoon
How was he right?
Juddyouclown
Because they’re massive, and it takes a lot to put em down.
BellaCiliegina
There's a great Reply All episode on this
YourClothesAreRed
I gotchu babe. https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/30-50-feral-hogs
jamesrPlayer
Man, it seems like that was a lot longer ago then 2019.
trapdoorogre
Thanks. Please take this Etruscan Boar Vessel as a token of our gratitude.
LaserSalsa
Unfortunately it's a fake. Have an etruscan chicken flask instead
YourClothesAreRed
I'll treasure it for as long as I'm online, my love.
PhailRaptor
Depends. Are they feral hogs?
FelixT93
And are the kids playing in the yard?
SeriousHustler
Do you have an assault rifle?
FelixT93
Two, I was forced to dual wield them.
SamaelQliphoth
Only milkshake launchers
4vie
Your front yard... your porch... your living room.... and garage.....
ProfessorVanDiggenSagg
I knew that 3 year old gif would some day become relevant again.
v
MrRandom314159
Good ol' Yahtzee. He really does good game design for simple stuff like this.
scavar
Lol what is this from?
notmuchthoughtoreffort
A game Yahtzee Croshaw developed. He made 12 games one year as a personal challenge and archived the process on his channel Zero Punctuation
MrRandom314159
Did he ever finish the Starstruck Vagabond game?
ProfessorVanDiggenSagg
Precisely. Found the Dev Diary. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sq8vo_ZLFo
kodiak931155
Its an interedting series. Its why i picked up game maker studio
forcefulpuspus
Someone named their child Yahtzee?
ProfessorVanDiggenSagg
Nah, they named it Benjamin. But every writer needs to wield a proper pseudonym, I guess.
Hotsauceman
He made games? Fuck! I love his reviews
Strangeboke
He's made a LOT of games, as well as a few novels
Yotarian
I hope he then reviewed them in true Yahtzee style by picking them apart as effectively as a 7 year old is honest about your insecurities.
JustDontCare
Princess Mononoke taught me that if I don't cut down the forest, I should be good.
lEbIGdADDY
Didn't the giant hog attack a village that had nothing to do with the forest being cut down?
GrimnLock
It had a bullet stuck in ita body that slowly corrupted him
Scorch052
It lied lol
OutlawGerman
Yes. Berlin used to have a shoot on sight order back in the early 2000s. I was chased twice on two occasions by boar ?
Qpnao
And now you're an outlaw
SalmonTheWise
Chased twice on two occasions... So you were chased 4 times? Was it the same boar, you thought you lost him and he is like "think again"?
ExecutiveProducerWolfDyck
You think you're being funny but clearly they speak English as a second language and you just come off as mean.
OutlawGerman
Nah. He was pretty funny.
OutlawGerman
Dude had my face and a giant x through it. Someone got paid.
graaghles
You would certainly want a caliber larger than .223
IMainReinhardt
.308 Winchester and flat nose .44 Remington Magnum works.
mercyPandaRunner
Actually not permitted for hunting wild boar or deer in most of Europe. You need something like .30-30 for that.
kerrigan778
223 can do it but it's a bad choice for stopping power or guaranteed ethical takedowns
kerrigan778
I've seen masters do ethical kills with 22 magnum though on mid sized hogs
Lichelf
Within 3-5 minutes?
cmfler
That would not scare me at all. Now if they were feral on the other hand that'd be a completely different discussion
SlightlyDankMemes
While your kids are playing outside?
madeejit
My 3-5 kids!
thinkybrainpains
One of our dumb domestic turkeys landed in the pig pen. lasted maybe 20 seconds. blood and feathers everywhere. turkeys scream, fyi.
CaptMinion
Pigs are fucking vicious.
TrappedInABubbleGumFactory
Delicious?
CaptMinion
That too.
keyblader1985
"DINNER!!"
Zeterai
Not for long they don't. Gobble gobble.
EricHoyland
Domestic turkeys are soooo dumb, we had some when I was a kid, one of them drowned it self in less than an inch of water
DesiRuseAndDesiRabble
briham86
Should have had the turkey eat a duck that ate a chicken first.
thinkybrainpains
CaptMinion
Piturducken?
oldguyexlurker
Person who just threw the turkey into the air: "I swear to God, I thought turkeys could fly."
thinkybrainpains
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p00nBSNIPwg
zerovanity59
I mean wild ones can: very nimble.
BisAndThighHighs
There was a post that someone made about when they were a kid and they were showing the farm animals the new puppy they got. 1/
BisAndThighHighs
When they got to the pigs one of them slurped the puppy through the fence and ate it. 2/2
ButtTrumpett
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
ConfettiPanda
thinkybrainpains
fuck. man. thanks for the trauma.
JustSomePersonThere
Sounds like your pigs are malnourished.
imafarmer
As greedy as a pig
thinkybrainpains
Nope. You don't know pigs. Fat & happy grain and scrap fed. Big ol' farm pigs will literally eat anything they have a chance to eat.
JustSomePersonThere
I’m sorry, I wasn’t clear. I didn’t mean malnourished as in under-fed, I meant not getting enough of specific macronutrients and vitamins
JustSomePersonThere
present in those turkeys. Even chickens will cannibalise each other if fed only grains and no protein. Am I wrong about that?
HiddenSanity
Nah, that's normal depending on the breed, some will literally eat themselves to death given the chance.
myotherusernameismyotherusername
I've been to walmart, they ain't special.
HiddenSanity
Indeed, lots of large dogs have the same issue, can kill themselves if you accidentally give them access to too much food.
Zeterai
I, uh. Don't think they were talking about the dogs.
alan3ScifiRunner
And they're not particularly picky about what they chow down on.
BigTex1
You remember the scene in wizard of oz where dorthy falls in the pig pen & everyone freaks the fuck out? That’s why.
lysani
My mom spent time on a farm as a kid, as one of the things they were *extremely* strict about was staying out of the pig pen.
lvioivl
I didn’t understand why everyone was freaking out so bad until year and years later when I watched Snatch for the first time.
baranovich
Hence the term greedy as a pig
00LimaRomeo
Like a kebab to a pisshead.
davemymindisgoingicanfeelit
came here to say this...
thinkybrainpains
yes...I was sent in the pen to grab a piglet when his mom heard him screaming and came running for me with pure murder in her eyes.
thinkybrainpains
Dad scooped me out faster than it took me to realize I was even in danger. Told me I wasn't hearing him right. He wanted to pen mom FIRST
Hyndisfox
Thats why I don't feel bad eating pork. The pig would eat me first if given the chance.
BenderBenderBender
That, and bacon. Mmmmm bacon.
Misteree8
So, big ass land piranhas?
6313326
Big ass omnivorous Land Piranhas that are about as intelligent as a smartish dog, yep.
Smingersdidit
And breed like tiny prey animals
Misteree8
The scene of the little person in the pigpen in Mad max:thunder dome makes sense now. Ok ligit a terrifying way to die.
Soufange
Also in the Silence of the Lambs sequel.
LeraviTheHyena
I thought hyenas would be a terrifying way to go(they will eat you alive) but now I know there's something equally scary!