Nothing like logging in to find two DMs, one phishing for my personal information and the other asking me to send them porn. Fuck's sake.

Aug 23, 2024 9:50 PM

ElbowDeepInAHorse

Views

45511

Likes

1039

Dislikes

97

Like, I get there's users who don't like my posts, but good grief with the low quality bait.

(Artist: slavedemorto)

Asking you to send porn is like... so much more work than just typing the word "porn" into a search bar... like, why...

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ask for it in the open you fucking coward.

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Eh I can think of 6 places where at least 2 pieces of porn 1 person could find.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

half the channels in the stable are dedicated NSFW channels. bro, its not hard to find

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Would you give out your personal information if we were to send you porn instead?

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Don’t worry. I’ve got the goods

2 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 4

2 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

So no hoof pics?

2 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 1

Show me them cloppers!

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

You post smut all the time. I'm surprised you were bothered by the 2nd one

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 3

Wackos everywhere.

2 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 2

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Can I get porn that also features your mother's maiden name and the name of your first pet?

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

You should just send them the discord link. There's enough porn there to feed the whole horny jail.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Were they at least asking for thematically appropriate porn, or just plain old nudes?

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 51 Dislikes 2

Wait you don't send people pony smut if they ask?

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

So...did you expect more porn requests?

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Yikes lol

2 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 2

Just to make sure..

2 years ago | Likes 105 Dislikes 3

Unless, of course, you're really into sending strangers porn... As long as you are both consenting adults, who here should yuck your yum.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 4

2 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 0

But... Porn!

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Can we get your personal porn number?

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

555-6969

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

only two? that's a good day then

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

like... make a porn? Or just send them random porn? Cos there's a lot around

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Its not even that hard... unlike those of us born in the 80s

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My son will never know the rush of finding a magazine when building a den in the woods

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Elbow already knows... v

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Send me porn. I ran out.

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

You're probably on a list of people who are likely to fall for those types of scams. If you send me your social security number, I can make sure it gets scrubbed from any and all such lists/databases

2 years ago | Likes 233 Dislikes 2

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Luckily, I'm only on the list where women (or "women") try to get me to join sketchy paid dating/sex sites, because I guess my perpetual singleness and lack of getting laid oozes through even my unrelated email addresses.

2 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

Can you do me, too?

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Shoot, alright, one sec and I'll get you a photo of my card ;p

2 years ago | Likes 104 Dislikes 2

Is... Is that a euphemism? ;-)

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Don't do it! You can tell its a scam because they claim its free. A REAL company, like mine, will charge you a mere $99.99. Please respond now!

2 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 1

Send me the pic, too, so I make sure he's scrubbed it from such sites. I'll send it to a third party so he makes sure I made sure, and so on and so forth. It'll be a list of some sort. :)

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

If you also send me your credit card number with expiry date and the security code, I'll make sure it's not on any scammer's lists

2 years ago | Likes 45 Dislikes 2

This guy sounds trustworthy, I'd listen to him.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Paperwork paperwork paperwork!

2 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 1

A little work is worth long term security. Please mail a copy of your fingerprints to the address I DMed you so we can ensure you haven't been framed in any murder cases.

2 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 1

Please send dna samples to the address I provided. Amounts are not specifics just go by more is better. Never can be to careful these days.

2 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

The answer to both is always 1060 West Addison St, Chicago, IL 60613

2 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 2

This is the way

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 2

Nice try, Elwood

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Ooh, wuzzat?

2 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 3

Blues Brothers reference, in case that wasn't clear by now. Great movie.

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Wrigley Field where the Cubs have played for like 120 years.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Wait, only 2?

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

Thankfully!

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 2

I was a slow week..

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

I've been a slow week for months.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

"send me porn" "can't you find furaffinity or DeviantArt on your own?"

2 years ago | Likes 103 Dislikes 2

Reddit has a couple of clop related subs

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

If you can't find porn on the Interwebz, then you're actively avoiding it

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

It's like Google hasn't been a thing for three decades

2 years ago | Likes 74 Dislikes 1

Sounds like they want something more "personalized".

2 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

I could imagine if Ellie was filming herself wearing a horseshat for privacy reasons squirting lube over the keyboard of her restoration project and put that up on patreon or something enough weirdos would subscribe… then just link to that if anyone is asking for personalised (cashier keyboard) porn.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Haha, funny Elbow, Google hasn't been around three deca....

2 years ago | Likes 47 Dislikes 0

you dont wanna know what we had to resort to before google

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Shhhhh it’s ok. We are 4 ish years from it being 30 years.

2 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

DeviantArt only allows nudity I thought...but yeah, FA...though I don't know if they've solved being compromised yet

2 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

It is fixed

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

But there is always e621

2 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 1

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

There are other sites as well but I dare not name them here

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Or rule34

2 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Or Derpibooru

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

They haven't been compromised, it was a DNS redirect attack

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Oh...I just went off of the hundreds of people saying "DON'T GO TO FA"

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

the server itself was not compromised but a clever hacker who had acess to dns redirects would have been able to compromise your session token if you wen to a fake site he redirected you to

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yes, because you would have ended up on the fake site for a bit, because it was redirected to another server.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

Worse, a real site and it was Kiwi Farms

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I realized that when you said it was a DNS redirect. I didn't look too deeply into it because I go to e-hen and e621 for most of my art needs anyway.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Sounds like one was offering low quality bait, and the other was hoping for high quality bate.

2 years ago | Likes 492 Dislikes 3

And here I am. The MASTER of BAIT! No one can compete with my power! :V

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

This comment and the replies are all gold. Bloody seal clap trauma group unit.

2 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

v

2 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Im sitting here in the ER covered in my own blood (no longer an emergency) laughing and clapping like a goofy seal.

2 years ago | Likes 52 Dislikes 1

Congrats on the drugs.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Congratulations on being someone's new nightmare, I guess.
Therapist: Tell me about it
Patient: They were in the ER, covered in blood, laughing. And clapping. I see them when I close my eyes!
Therapist: Bloody seal isn't real, it can't hurt you.

2 years ago | Likes 40 Dislikes 0

"OART OART OART!"

2 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Damn I was hoping for the one where the orca just casually tilts the backside of the iceberg and the seal slides out of view into its mouth.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

What we need is a better class of criminal.

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

What, like wizard?

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

https://imgur.com/7xq2V0l

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ah now Alan Rickman was great as the sherif, literally stole it

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Inside of you are two bates. But you alone are their master.

2 years ago | Likes 122 Dislikes 2

Master? My bating skills are mediocre at best.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

What if someone else is the master of the two bates inside me?

2 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

Then all you hear is whip cracks all day no matter what you're doing.

2 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Three Bates howling.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0