Qualtagh
75946
1485
37
Nov 29, 2019 6:30 PM
Qualtagh
75946
1485
37
ImgeneralBennet
Lay him naked in the front yard
SithShodan
Shave his belly with a rusty razor!
Atramors671
Eat the last of his nutella was a bit of a stretch, honestly.
bigsteve31sk8
He might be a sissy so sleep in separate beds and blow each other kissies.
brannana
After the Valdez spill, we always used “Put him in charge of an Exxon tanker”
sittnduk
I mean, what else would you do with a drunken sailor?
pogoblaster
Blow the man down
FleetingExplative
kelpsie
"fits the rhythm of the song" - That's not exactly impressive. The song itself doesn't give a fuck how many syllables it has.
YouCantGetDiseasesFromABird
Tumblr doesn’t understand music. Exhibit 1: SpiDeRMan DanCEs tO EvERy soNG
Heuhojimbo
As a sailor who has been drunk, I approve
bikergeek6249
Around 1990 I heard "Put him in bed with Tammy Faye Bakker". That poor woman.
HowWasThisUsernameNotTaken
In my experience, it was a severely uptight Chief screaming "Drag his ass to the command DAPA."
darthlame
Put yer finger in his dirty anus
QueenCousland
No, put his finger in his dirty anus! Give him a kylecorn moment.
EverythingIsBon
Shave his belly with a rusty razor
EverythingIsBon
Put him in a long boat until he's sober
kman2000alm
not sure i follow
nothingontv
I sure don't.
onecowboytoo
I noticed that put your dick in his ass is missing because that is the first thing they do.
FormalWareBytes
Put him in a room with the captain's daughter
CoySwimmingKoi
lol on the Italy base, I knew a guy who dated a chief's daughter... while she was in the hs on base. They ended up engaged though
moshthun
I know that one as "Put him in a bed with the captain's daughter."
BaridBel
Put him in charge of an Exxon vessel
realbrickwall
It's "Put him in the bed with the captain's daughter". This is important because the "captain's daughter" is another name for a whip.
realbrickwall
The line means beat him until he's disabled, and this would be common for a sailor being found drunk on the job.
EverythingIsBon
TIL. Thanks
wannatouchelbows
Yup. Stuck in my head now. Gonna be singing and making up lines for the next while.
Deros1331
Up she rises! Up she rises!
failedtodelete
Send a dick pick to his mother
SmolTenk
Since we are on the topic, this is my favourity version of the song with different lyrics. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qortHuDyVOM
ComanderoftheShepard
try this one just not PG in the slightest
Kazpur81S
“Put him in bed with the Captain’s daughter!”
Dreigiau
I'm never entirely sure if they're referring to the captain's literal daughter or the "Captain's Daughter", aka cat o' nine tails
QueenCousland
I think it's a pun.
Dreigiau
Quite probably, I'm just not sure which is the intended pun and which is the direct meaning
CoachL4D
Shave his belly with a rusty razor
S0MEPERS0N
"Trouble with the Captain nine months later!"
Kazpur81S
Hahahahaha
KaJuN
Tattoo "Welcome Aboard" on his dick.
sanchez3452
Surprisingly, I knew a guy who had that tattooed above his dick
Qumefox
EverydayIdleness
I can't make "draw a dick on his face in sharpie" fit the meter.
TheCapedProcrastinator
try 'sharpie marker'.
TheCapedProcrastinator
Or stretch out 'draw' to 2 meaures.
Bioslate
You could also use penis too...
alexcoldt
draw a dick onhisface in shar-pie
HomelingRazor
*with a* instead of "in"
usernamehasalreadybeenchosentoomanytimes
Draw a big dick...
o4kill
What. Doya. do. witha. drunk. en. sailor. Draw. a. dick. onhis. face. in. sharpie.
zapbranagan
Good try mr officer
YouCantGetDiseasesFromABird
1-2-3-4-and-5-6-7-8
chiefs86
IRS one is probably the worst. I can't get that to fit whatsoever.
Dargan
Same meter as the captain’s daughter. “Tell-th’-I-R-S he owes back taxes”, same as “throw-em-in-the-bed”
chiefs86
ah, indeed. yeah nevermind that one isn't too bad
adventurea
With sharpie marker. Solved.
Fooby
otoh eat the last of his nutella works perfectly
RecurringNightmare
works fine, traditional text has 10 syllables squeezed on 9 beats, so stretching "a dick" over "shallwedo" fits well...
Alpha38
None of these fit the meter very well.
jalexj
You're not trying hard enough.
FairyKingOberon
Draw. A. Dick. Onhisface. In. Shar. Pie
Moralitea
How about “draw a dick on his face in dark black sharpie”
bigeasy44
Try “magic marker” instead of sharpie
MoralRectifier
Perhaps "DRAW a DICK on his FACE in SHARP-ie"
touchofgray8503
I was getting ready to do this but wanted to see if anyone else has first. Well done.
Nimafox
Oh yeah, that worked for me. Also I think it's cool and you can communicate with caps and I can understand.
Qualtagh
If you draw out the word "draw" (heh) for a couple beats it can work. But yeah a few of these require that the singer is also drunk.
J4nein4ne
What, like a drunken sailor?
gatomejores
drr-aw a dick, on his face, in shar-pee!
Lierofox
https://onlinesequencer.net/1293351 It works if you use this rhythm. "Draw A Dick On-His-Face In Shar Pie"
Lierofox
Also consider that most of the verses have a different number of syllables in the phrases that need to be stretched/mashed to fit.
UnworthyBeatrix
That was my first thought. They all fit the meter because the meter in the original song does whatever the fuck it wants, it's drunk.