XAMANDER
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Jul 31, 2020 10:17 PM
XAMANDER
120091
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RandomMemmer
FeralBurnett
Religion is a sin management system.
AghorSaintSoundsCoolToMe
Sin manufactured in the creative minds of people with political agenda
Goatjr12
American's are over twice as religious as other western nations and it shows.
MandemUnit
I find it unendingly hilarious that anyone thinks any biblical tale at all is supposed to be interpreted as literal.. even the more simple
that300ZXguy
Religion. Opioid of the masses.
taurondir
That is where the Apologetics come in. They call themselves that because they are a bunch of sorry dumb assholes.
OriginalAndWitty
Married woman gets pregnant by a spirit and 3 mysterious men show up with gifts. Yup....sure.
Orangicus
All religions are ridiculous. Change my mind.
Listeningtokpop
You are welcome to believe that, for me personally, Buddhism makes sense, so that’s what I believe.
AgnosticPaladin
Some religions are more benign than others, but all at least make you more susceptible to crazy ideas since they reduce your mental immunity
Listeningtokpop
Mental immunity? Haven’t heard that term, can you elaborate?
AgnosticPaladin
Resistance to ideas that have no basis in reality. Like antivax, flat earth and so on.
AgnosticPaladin
When you believe one thing with no proof or with proof against it, it makes it easier to believe others.
SkunkMom
I mean, everything is pointless and then you die. Without religion, might as well pick between hedonism and nihilism. Chose the later myself
chiefrunswithscissors
I guess I take Noah's ark as a metaphor for "God"wanting humans to be the caretakers of the earth or fuck off.
KyleBeach
Of all the Bible stories, I see that one as most likely to be true to some degree. Numerous religions that were present in the region had
KyleBeach
Some kind of great world ending flood story. Keep in mind that most people never left more than a few dozen miles from their homes their
KyleBeach
Whole life, so to many in the cities ringing the Mediterranean or the other seas in the region, that is the world as they know it. Plus with
KyleBeach
Little communication being possible region to region, if a major flood happens around the sea you border, it's not a stretch for people back
KyleBeach
Then to assume it's happening all over the known world because they likely had no clue the world was any bigger than the handful of regions
MissSiesta
Yeah, there are a lot of crazies out there.
ToneLock
and where he lived there were no kiwi's, wombats and other creatures. Still he had them on the ship. amazing ;)
Valor8
The amount of disrespectful non-believers is unnecessary. You can be nice about it. (I'm a non-believer btw)
merelyadequategooglymoogly
Believing things without evidence, or that are contradicted by evidence, is seen as high virtue. That's a big part of the problem.
dogsarebetterthancats33
Imagine thinking the earth is round
sitenickname
Imagine God not understanding lion biology...
iforgotmypasswordandhadtomakeanewaccount7yearslater
I was told they were all vegetarian at the time.
MINIMVM
DrSlapAlot
I feel like god didnt draw it but i could be wrong
VastMajorityRule
epicureanquest
Both Ibex (I think) in front are male too
mikeatike
cattlegrazer82
Or that male giraffes prefer the company of other male giraffes
toxcrusadr
More likely the artist didn't understand lion biology.
MrSpookywasagoodboy2
God drew this or an ignorant christian
KingRememberedInTime1
bjrkiez
mjulnozhk
that's just the artist, not God. I mean I don't really believe in that shit but let's be realistic
Stephen9000
Lol. Realistic. About gods.
itsthatpoopagain
It's the most ironic to me when they believe in biblical fantasy but not fictional fantasy. Hold on. What you say snake? Oh yeah...
TheRealEh
Religion is a funny thing
newtonsthirdrule
Must have Faith.
stabbedintheface
You misspelled "the greatest plague to ever befall the human race"
CoxZuckerMachine
So is justice
Neoeon
Yes. I cant breathe for laughing.
MaterNyx
True. What's even funnier to me is that today much of it would be diagnosed with psychological disorders. I.e. guy talking to a burning bush
MaterNyx
maybe a hallucinating schizophrenic. Someone claiming to be god's son - something with megalomania and maybe slight touch of narcissism. Etc
Neoeon
Drugs. You eat a mushroom someone found who says theyre very tasty and lots of people enjoy them, go through a trip, and found religion.
MaterNyx
Could also be the case, yes.^^ But then some would have been on shrooms quite a while. Like... Years. ^^ still possible thou.
Neoeon
Wha nut? Native mushrooms people are farming, they enjoy the trip, there are no drug laws... *SHRUG* Na, probably terminal crazy mostly. Tho
Ijustwantquiet
So is reality.
khora
It's out first attempt at science and philosophy.
ImpeachAllInvolved
Yeah....hi-fucking-larious.
Greymalum
Religions can become cults in merely a twist of perception. It can get so crazy bad before we even know.
WH0REDI0T
Actually,Cults can become religions. Once a cult has enough members, it can be recognized as a religion
mydamnkidsdontthinkimfunny
Not mine. I worship the Invisible Pink Unicorn. Blessed be Her holy hooves. May they never be shod. Ramen.
DriverIRQnotlessOrEqual
Funny enough a lot of religions from this area have a flood story. So it’s possible a horrible flood did happen. Which was embellished
caldella
I watched a docu once where they theorized a flood from the Mediterranean turned the Black Sea from freshwater to salt. To the people (1/2)
caldella
who lived there when it happened, it would've looked like the world was flooding. Some merchant w/a boat survived and became legend. (2/2)
DisgruntledFerret
There are also pillars of salt around the Dead Sea. They are not ex-people.
DisgruntledFerret
Likewise, the Nile does turn red. It's not a curse from God, it's like an algae thing.
icanc4
Some guy built a raft and floated the livestock from his farm on it for a few days. And then told the story for the rest of his life.
CocktailGaming
Or they could just be tropes in story telling, or just a rip off of the epic of Gilgamesh.
NotAnIroningBoard
So? Even if the flood happened - what does that tell us about the reliability of the rest of the religious text?
DriverIRQnotlessOrEqual
A lot of the Old Testament is from word of mouth stories from people of that time, giving an insight of the time and people of that era.
NotAnIroningBoard
A reliable insight? Like 500+ year old humans and talking snakes? Whose words? Which mouths? For the literal word of god, standards are high
FitzFarseer
Bear in mind that Moses is said to have written genesis, despite not being present anywhere in the book
Shewy92
The Bible isn't supposed to be taken as fact. Though a lot of religious people haven't even read it or understand it. Or cherry pick shit
hedcase
Lucky there is only 8.7 million species of animals on earth so it was a pretty big boat.
hiimhar
I live in a town where more people than not believe dinosaurs are a myth or where planted by the devil. When I learned this my jaw dropped
heartlessninja6
Jurassic Park must have an entirely different meaning to them.
CakeShapedPie
My first encounter with a young earth creationist was mind boggling. I thought it was a really long joke. It was, but not how I figured
DollapOfDaisy
I had a chick tell me that I could be a possibility because there are bones, but she never saw them (actual Dino bones)
girlsdontp00p
It’s mostly people just trying to fit in and succumbing to peer pressure from dead people (traditions)
catsandcoke
I had a relative that thought God put the bones there to test your faith
capricaria
I know I don't live in your town...but we live in the same town
Allthegoodnamesweretakenbeckygod
How the hell is there more than one town of these fuck waffles??
JonathanMidwatch
I was born in that town, grew up in a different version of that town, and now work in a third version of that town. All In Oregon.
snuffcarcass
People who think its ok for god to shit-test them constantly (Adam & Eve, Abraham & Isaac, Job) need to raise their standards for a deity.
SecondSince
Get out as fast as you can!
DontSayRepeat
Move
Starwulf99
That's literally the go-to for pretty much all church's, or at least in my experience, having attended several churches growing up. "The
Starwulf99
devil put those bones there in order to test mankinds faith in God, much like how the devil killed all of jobs sons to test his faith in GoD
Starwulf99
*God". I guess if you get enough crap like that fed into the youth at an early enough age it sticks or something. Thankfully it didn't
Starwulf99
happen with me, but to be honest it might have if it wasn't for a few members of the church freaking out on me because I rode 4-wheelers
Starwulf99
with the kid of the guy who played drums in the church. It was his idea to take their 4-wheelers out in the middle of the night, but I got
electronicbovine
People believing creationism in this modern age of information is extremely surreal
IUseThisToFavoriteAssnTitties
Exactly. My first google search brought back https://chem.tufts.edu/science/Geology/OEC-refutes-YEC.htm as the first result. No excuses
Saelael
Change is scary.
Goldensands
So are their delusions. If anything their more scary than reality - they are just also familiar.
GFYandyourstupidrequirements
People believe in what makes them feel comfortable
qazxswedcvfrtgbnhyujmkiol
Which often coincides with what they grew up and were raised with.
roneyBugPrince
Yes that and flat earthers
ceceoh
Flat earth is scary, because what if you’re walking near the edge and you trip?
RosencrantzNGuildensternNeverLived
Or are near a cat who bats you off the edge?
MahuAurelius
You live in a Pro-Trump County?
midsummer1942
one of my aunts doesn't believe in dinosaurs, they've been to museums multiples times, I don't even know why the bible and dinosaurs -
midsummer1942
- couldn't exist together. Its not like it was one without the other...
Appollon
Dinos were not on the boat, duh. Else they'd be here now. Therefore, they never existed. Have to explain everything to you heathens.
midsummer1942
My bad
wishmypictureswereinteresting
Oh, which part of Texas are you from?
heyrelaxfellayouneedarestguy
That’s the devil pulling your jaw
fluffypants
For the demon sperms
heyrelaxfellayouneedarestguy
mrdconner916
Was taught in elementary school that fossils only appear in old because the flood made fossils look old and sunk them deep in the mud.
AlaSnackbar
I work with many brilliant engineers and tech. Some of them beleived in this theory or some even other strange ones. Blew my mind.
Quylein
I mean I used to belive that too, but I was a young adult. Then I went out into the world and learned for myself, churches swindle for money
Silnt39
Don't suppose you live in NC?! Don't forget that moon landing is fake and God heals everything but still go to doctors and hospitals.
Live2Laugh3
I MUST know...where does such a place that gives the middle finger to reality so proudly exist?
LordNergal
We should clone dinosaurs, put them in a giant park right next to that town, and let them see the dinos for themselves.
Leithoa
You can get dinosaurs in the meat dept of any grocery store. Or go to a zoo https://animals.howstuffworks.com/birds/cassowary.htm
SheTurnedMeIntoANewtButIGotBetter
Yes! Spare no expense!
Counterfit
Especially on the security!
cliffjumper83
And have only one programmer for the whole project
AnythingYouCanChurnICanChurnButter
Then, to top it all off, we move it to an island, make it an attraction, and engineer a superhybrid dino for military use.
ceceoh
They’ll see them, then go straight to Facebook to declare they are a hoax.
LordNergal
I'm not certain if this is a counter-joke or if I have to explain the joke.
DrewSf29
They don't think they were planted by the devil. They were planted by God to test the faith of his true followers
KimberlynnKelly
Memo: God was a Dino as well. "They are Nifty." (Like Slurpee's)
Crookie281
When I was growing up, I was taught that it was the devil. Much like all of the false religions out there.
astrid28
My uncle was one of those, but he upgraded to the coexisted version of the flintstones that is creationism... and denies ever saying the 1st
Dudeitsausername
better then being surrounded by morons that believe jesus is real.
Trankia12
They're the same people.
boomer0001
Jesus is a documented real person. Even mentioned in Roman texts.
DevonSchmoll
https://www.businessinsider.com/scientists-noahs-arc-would-have-floated-with-70000-animals-if-built-by-dimensions-in-the-bible-2014-4
ImtheGuyWhoGotShotInTheDickByRobocop
Religion is for stupid people. It gives them something to do that isn't buying lottery tickets, which if you think of it 1/2
IntentiomalTypo
Must be why no intelligent people believe in religion/s
dalaiyoda
"Smart people are very good at coming up with reasons to believe stupid things." -- Michael Shermer, American Skeptics Society.
ImtheGuyWhoGotShotInTheDickByRobocop
Is sort of the same thing. 2/2
CocktailGaming
Well they're not thinking logically in the first place.
Electr0swagnetism
Everyone knows there were only like 12 species back then
FlyingSquirrelMan
So what you're saying is those 12 EVOLVED somehow into 9 million. HEATHEN!
IntentiomalTypo
Why not? Doesnt the animal tree branch out from like 8 kingdoms?
FlyingSquirrelMan
That was my joke tho. People who believe the ark story tend not to believe in evolution.
Electr0swagnetism
I was just joking anyway, but maybe, I don't know what happened in that boat, wink wink
WVGleeman
Truth isn't necessary for faith.
breothskin
Or rather, with faith, truth is what you believe as opposed to “objective truth”. One of the major issues with organized religion actually.
markymark89
Or logic. Or intelligence.
LSAH
Fact isn’t necessary. Usually the two are mutually exclusive from what I have observed.
Cinemagik
Faith in a God that would drown them all.
MahuAurelius
In fact, truth actively harms faith, and therefore is generally maligned or even in some cases, simply ignored.
therealswanson
Truth and faith are mutually exclusive.
khora
That's not true. Everything you have faith in could be true.
PectorialMuscles
No. Some things cannot be true. I am male. Even if you said, wrote, and believed that I am female, I am not. Easy example.
khora
But I never claimed everything I had faith in would become true. I just pointed out that it would be possible that everything you 1/
khora
believe in turns out to be true.
TsubakiTragic
Truth is the antithesis of religion.
Muunk
That's not accurate. Faith is supposed to be built on facts and merely draws a conclusion on something that can't easily be proven. 1/2
Muunk
Faith is built on fact, but also goes beyond what human observation can prove. The faith vs fact dichotomy is mostly an American thing.
Jinxer13
Even in the way you described it it's clear that they are distinct things since you need no faith for the fact itself but only for (1)
Jinxer13
the assumptions, conclusions and the things that go beyond observation that you based on it. The dichotomy is clear in your description too.
Listeningtokpop
What makes it “fact”, you’re still believing the data and science is correct behind it, right?
Stevvveen
I'll bite, how can you have faith without truth
LSAH
I think they might be using truth and fact interchangeably, but perhaps they can clarify.
swellerelk
"Gestures at all the contradictions and inconsistencies in every holy book"
twozerooz
Faith is pretty much the absence of truth. It's ignoring objective truth and having faith in your own personal imagined "truth"
LusciousLucius
Do you believe that every single one of the millions of gods imagined in human history are real? Because if you don't, you also believe 1/2
LusciousLucius
That faith is possible without truth. 2/2
godzilladc
Easily. There is no truth. Just beans.
iHaveATheoreticalDegreeinPhysics
What kind of beans do the gods purvey o wise one? I must know THE TRUTH OF IT
godzilladc
There is no God, only beans.
iHaveATheoreticalDegreeinPhysics
What manner of beans are there? Can you describe their glory?
MehAmpersanddownalwayssorrynotsorry
Hope. The hope that this could be real. That we are not just a happenstance of life. That we might mean something... We don't FYI
DimwitF
Why is that a bad thing though, enough to cling to a falsehood? Why not enjoy the time we have, and help others do the same?
MehAmpersanddownalwayssorrynotsorry
Accountabilty is taken away when you cant be a good person by your own merit. Only so that you go up not down. It's a cherry picked book 1/
MehAmpersanddownalwayssorrynotsorry
So why not use the good book more like aesop fables to just learn. I dont mean to be rude calling it fables, hope you see what I mean though
Horsenippleking
I think if religion makes you happy and a better person, believe as hard as you can, but don’t use it as a way to condemn others.
LusciousLucius
It's not. People that believe in harmless fake things don't matter. It's the people that believe in harmful fake things that are the 1/?
LusciousLucius
Problem, and they are invariably the loudest. Happiness is the goal of life. And it's hard for us all to be happy without truth. 2/2
metalheadmafia
Don't assume every Christian thinks that way.
CocktailGaming
Nothing in this post suggests that.
IntentiomalTypo
Why do you say that?
CocktailGaming
Because I don't see anything in this posts that suggest that OP thinks all Christians think this way. It implies that if you believe the 1/2
CocktailGaming
...the Noah story and also believe that COVID is a hoax then... nothing the post doesn't draw a conclusion it just says "imagine" 2/2
metalheadmafia
That's not what it says. You can infer that meaning if you like, but at face value it does not.
emilytangerine8910
Do you believe in Noah’s ark story?
DisgruntledFerret
Don't assume every Christian believes in the Old Testament? The entire foundation Christianity is a continuation of?
DeathByButtSex
*abrahamic faith
metalheadmafia
It's more complicated then that. I can't really explain it all here without making a huge thread.
IntentiomalTypo
Probably the covid part, buddy
DisgruntledFerret
I'm not your buddy, guy!
NomDeImguerre
Well, the Earth used to spin faster, so days were shorter, as were years. Noah was 50 by modern count, but 500 in his day. /s
abacab87
True, but Noah was no more than 10k years ago, it was millions of years since there was any noticeable difference in the length of a day.
Horus175
Where did the water go?
Consolidatedheadmelter
Earth spin fast. Water go space.
DingoStyle
The turtle drank it, duh!
NotAnIroningBoard
I've heard people argue shit like this. And the 7 days in the Bible were 7 millennia.
XAMANDER
Have you seen the debate with Bill Nye and that creationist? Wow. They really know how to manipulate shit and their followers believe it.
NotAnIroningBoard
You can't fault people for being convinced of things, we all have bias and are susceptible, but you can fault people for actively lying.
NotAnIroningBoard
It's disturbing. They openly declare that no science, evidence or proof against their beliefs will change their minds. It's terrifying.
burrelstrnf
You know a year is about the Earth revolving the sun, right?
Yupurineutah
Ha! Jesus Fucking Christ!
KyleBeach
You realize he was being sarcastic right? Also, considering the difference in how many days were in a Hebrew year compared to our current
KyleBeach
Calander, as well as the flawed premise some do actually claim of the earth rotating faster, making days shorter...they would count age in
KyleBeach
Years based on days passing, not rotations around the sun.
ExtraWoody
purdhapley
God works In Mysterious ways.
jbkudos
Trixy 'roos
Yupurineutah
Jeebus hates 'em!
ipoopinthelitterbox
Wow. I did not know this.
Couchwarrior1337
You left out the part where they, using sheer ingenuity that would rival mankind, build rafts to ferry themselves across the ocean.
MadeMyAccountJustForThis
Not so, building a raft is the easy part of ocean travel. They taught themselves to read the stars and ocean currents to make it home
frischcode
They were carrying koalas!
frischcode
And being chased by a pair of Tasmanian devils!
BOSSMOPS
Gonna troll people putting this shit in my info folder...
evergreentt
That’s good old Aussie grit for ya.
cbmech7
I would argue this is proof there were two of each animals, Kangoroos looks like the result of an animal orgy.
RpgKitten
Reminds me of the part in good omens they talk about God not being angry at the chinese, implying the flood was just localized.
longlivezorp
I thought Jerry O'Connell and Anthony Anderson chased them there? I maybe messed up some story lines here
greenchair
That is quite remarkable. Quite indeed.
asanaustralianwhyareyourpostsupsidedown
This ark of totally pointless, if you believe in it you'll probably believe in creationism. So why wouldn't God just make the animals again?
FlatPlutoSociety
Mysterious ways and shit.
megaepicllama
And sloths crossed Turkey, swam across the Mediterranean, ventured through the Gibraltar straight and traversed the Atlantic. Until they 1/2
megaepicllama
arrived to Costa Rica, where they warmly welcome Christian missionaries for selfies. Amen 2/2
khora
It hasn't been explained to me if the water was saline or not. I hope saline, because an aquarium for all fresh water fish is so much 1/
khora
easier than one for the salt water fish, whales etc. You still need different temperature water, of course.
Ratman72
The polar bears swam back to the arctic and the penguins swam to the Antarctic.
ceceoh
The marsupials all followed the ‘roos , except for the opossums, who made a hard right and started swimming to America.
ExtraWoody
Evaren
Prior to the planet flooding, the polar bear & penguin nations were at war; the ark forced a peace treaty, territory lines were drawn
Ratman72
The 2 DoDo birds swam to that 1 island where they lived until the dutch discovered the island and killed all the DoDos.
RosencrantzNGuildensternNeverLived
The ‘great food’ actually did happen, but it was localized to the ‘whole world’ of the hebrew people at that time. No literally all of it.
PiratePerry
So why waste the years and resources on building a giant ship? If it was local, just move the fam a mountain range or 2.
bootstew
Yum. Great food.
Mytrashpanda101
There was only 2 of them. They worked hard to make it there
CheekyNand0s
^mate
zphobic
Two Roos: The Heartwarming Hallmark Story
radetlor
Starring Jane Seymour
fluffypants
Pangea maybe? I’m a Christian and I’ve always believed in Pangea. I dunno if that’s rare...
Timbagged
Pangea began to break apart 175 million years ago. I don’t think the times match up.
fluffypants
Ah. Didn’t know that. I love history stuff and I’m for sure interested in learning more about Pangea than the general one land mass broke up
fluffypants
I’ll have to look it up and actually learn more about it lol. Novel idea, I know!
GeneralAnubis
The actual non-insane Christian stance on this is that it wasn't a global flood. The Hebrew words describing the flood as "the world" are >
GeneralAnubis
> actually better translated as "all mankind." Since it's conceivable that all of mankind at the time was still around the Mediterranean, >
GoddamnitClown
It's conceivable that they were only thinking about the humans who lived in that area. It's not true that all mankind was there at the time.
GeneralAnubis
Also possible
GeneralAnubis
> the great Mediterranean flood is likely to be the event described in the story of Noah.
fluffypants
Oh wow. I’ll have to look that up. It definitely makes sense the way you explained it.
GeneralAnubis
> EDIT: Mixed up the flood location a bit - the Black Sea Deluge is the more likely candidate:
purdhapley
So many cultures have the flood story, it’s hard to think there wasn’t at some point a huge flood in the area. Not worldwide though.
GeneralAnubis
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Sea_deluge_hypothesis
catsandcoke
Of every clean beast thou shalt take to thee by sevens, the male and his female: and of beasts that are not clean by two, the male and his
catsandcoke
female. Of fowls also of the air by sevens, the male and the female; to keep seed alive upon the face of all the earth. - 2
catsandcoke
3. He told Noah to take livestock. Pigs are unclean in Judaism and Islam. I don’t know why he needed birds. That or unclean refers to
catsandcoke
predators and clean are the prey.
catsandcoke
Ox, sheep, goat, deer, gazelle, yahmur (deer), the’o(wild ox or goat), pygarg (antelope or ibex), antelope, camelopardalis (???) Deuteronomy
catsandcoke
2. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kosher_animals