Swiggy1957
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I've learned to distract any businessman that has to puts fish on his vehicles and stationary to tell the world his religious values. If he lived by those values, they'd be respected in his daily actions.
mehimbored
That is the stiffest spine I’ve seen on a Bible. Really shows the west and tear of someone who has opened that book all of one time.
FancySharkDinnerParty
Is she worried about vampires or something?
youareagreatguybut
Matthew 6:5-8. And I am not even a Christian.
AdolfEngels
Looks like she's reading Revelations and her part in bringing on the Apocalypse and the last days of civilization
Maaatth
Re-reading Ezekiel 23:20.
SleepyHollowAppleTree
rongoins1
Is that MTG aka "Jewish Space Laser Lady" (cause California Forest Fires ) The one that heckled the President of the United States during the State of the Union address
bobbsr
Peach Tree Dish……
techymonkey
She's not a follower of Jesus, obviously. Just because I say the sky is purple with brown polka dots doesn't make it true and people calling themselves Christians doesn't make it true either. Acting like Christ makes you a Christian, calling yourself a Christian and acting like this bitch just means you're taking the Lord's name in vain.
annonymouse211
What a contrived piece of trash this is.
Kavrae
Spamming the symbol of your savior's torture/execution method is kinda strange and creepy to begin with.
Swiggy1957
Like when the NRA chose MLK Day to celebrate Gun Appreciation Day
spiderjohn36
Matthew 6:1-2 “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others."
bexxMaker
derekjohn
I note she's reading 'Revelations'. Always the go-to vague chapter for people who want to claim the Bible's support for their weird views.
WeSingLalaWhileTheDevilDoesTheChaCha
John was most likely tripping balls on mushrooms when he wrote that, and I love watching evangelicals try to make sense of the insane imagery
UsernameMayBeSubjectToChange
As if she can even read
TheLordFoxington
Apparently, she is actually quite intelligent when not on camera. She cultivated that idiot persona to further her goals.
boxak
Wouldn’t be surprised if she was holding upside down like her Cheeto-coloured god.
3wattbulb
What would Jesus do... with that bitch
Akurei00
That's why she opened it up to the back of the book
scoutMoonDiver
There are rocks in my front yard that are smarter than her.
teal4two
Swiggy1957
I knowhow people who will appreciate this. Stealing it like the GOP wants to steal your rghts.
plinkey
Dr. Seuss was super racist.
worm61
Iirc he reformed, and later fought against racism.
Cranbananarama
Against racism, fascism, and likely other isms.
teal4two
Then doubly appropriate for mtg.
ahorseelbowdeepinme
Empty g, getting nervous because she's almost at the end of the Bible and still can't find the bit where Thomas Jefferson wrote about only Christians being allowed to hold office in America
plinkey
most bibles omitted the story/verses of benjamin, he was integral in finding Jesus after he was crucified, and buried. I think only a few years ago used xray technology to find out his full name. His last name was bunny.
Ghlargh
Also the bit about Jesus being white and promoting the AR15 platform for Americans to defend their country against the woke left.
FartsSmellBad
She flipped to the end so people know she read a lot of it
codenametrixie
Those pages look pristine. Here's what an often read bible looks like
HsuDoNihm
Honestly looks upside down. Columns are usually at the top, with footnotes running the full width of the page. Columnar footnotes, really?
notabotandnotnotabot
It's the reference dictionary in the back. She's looking up, "charity"
deltaforcain
That explains why the back of the book looks like is has not been opened before!
GRaffted
She reads it backwards, literally.
Sidewaysgts
Beat me to commenting on this observation
Doismellbacon
There are dozens of us!
TheOneAndOnlyButtStabber
shes that talking shark from that Harley Quinn movie
iTakeQuotesOutOfContext
To be fair, revelation is the most exciting part. This shithole planet being desecrated with most of his false followers still on it is the only part of the Bible that makes me want to believe it.
itgrunt
Yeah, the end can be super-confusing on its own. Can't imagine what it's like if you don't read what comes before it
ClikeX
She's reading the manga adaptation.
GabbyJayYay
So... Bible Black?
ClikeX
https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/022/506/7c6.jpg
gtollie
Maybe it’s like a choose your own adventure book .. she just started and it asked her to turn to that page ?
MyCommentsUsuallyHaveTypos
At that point, she's just studying up on her end-of-times facts. Y'know being a harbinger, and all. Gotta know her role.
varonicaED
She wants to see how it turns out before putting in a lot of reading effort. I can save her the time, "you" are how it turned out!
Rugras
Like starting weights at 1001.
Swiggy1957
Never again. After that incident at age 10, I never bothered trying to lift more than 450 Kg.
DoEpicStuffVIVibes
We all know she can’t read
dbbbbs
Or she gets off on Revelations of John, which is weird as h.
Hashbrown123
Makes for some good Johnny Cash songs though.
UncleMartha
Also suggests that she's (at least appealing to) an "end times" nut who's trying to bring the rapture on by being as abominable as is humanly possible. People who are REALLY into revelations live in a mental fever dream where they're going to get scooped up by god no matter what horrendous things they do.
ConfederacyOfDunces
It's this. Reading Revelation is not on accident. It's an end-times dog whistle.
Dimension09
You can say heck here
HeyILikeDogs
jontanamoBay
Eh Revelation is only 22 chapters, or about 40 pages. So unless there’s a real thick index on that puppy, she could be as far back as Hebrews.
Swiggy1957
she pribably thinks it was the same John that was around walking everywhere with Jesus. I think the Bible has more John's than a hoppers tax return or a portapotty business.
iTakeQuotesOutOfContext
Revelations is my favorite part. Shitload of fake Christians getting left behind in the rapture and then culled over the years feels something like justice. Or as close as we can get assuming the bible is reasonably accurate.
homoerection
Which….it’s not, because it’s mythology.
verbeckpaul1960
First of all you can’t even tell what book it is from the picture and it could even be upside down.
Thorketil
I just can't imagine that there would be any other book that was so thick and had so many letters that she would pretend to read.
Swiggy1957
Could be an annotated list of guys that banged her back in high school.
verbeckpaul1960
Maybe it’s an owner’s manual for a “jewish laser”🤣
ThrockmortonTheSkateboarder
"Distracted"? "Has to puts"? "Stationary"? "Respected"?
Swiggy1957
Otto Kerr-Wrecked struck again.
RockettGraphics
The smell of toast has been removed.
bingotown
Glad it wasn’t just me.
CitrusyGarlic
Fr @op do we need to call a bondulance for you?
Aksuuuh
This is the very moment she learns bible doesn't have any pictures
DodgyMerchant
Is there a manga? I'm afraid to look
Swiggy1957
Not sure about the Bible, but I have/had one about Buddha. When Max Gaines ran EC Comics, he had a series of stories from the Bible. He died, son took over the business, and Mad magazine was born. Who would have think it. From "thou shalt not," to "What, me worry?"
wanjeonhanwalwal
Some bibles have pictures. Don't know how common it is in contemporary Bibles but historically yes the Bible has pictures in it, even some ironic iconoclastic Bibles.
Swiggy1957
Yes, but she wanted to color them.
wanjeonhanwalwal
whadyameanthatnamestaken
Nah, it's reading the end because that's Revelations, and it gets off on suffering and plagues and bunches of other horrible stuff from a vengeful god because thats what it thinks is cool and it wants to be that kind of god. It's having an orgasm rn.
samuelthastings5
Lmao this got me chuckling this morning
fr0stbyte124
Not necessarily. It could be upside down.
JasonThorn
Revelation. No 's'. And she should be worried because it's the Finding Out part of the bible showing that there are ultimate consequences for evil.
Swiggy1957
Before one can realize the have committed evil, they must first have a conscience to tell them they did. Sadly, most people without a conscience rarely have to deal with the consequences.
JasonThorn
Eventually they will.
whadyameanthatnamestaken
…. and that’s the ONLY part of the bible it reads cause that’s the only part it likes.
furballsoffury
It
Jovelana
Old Finnish proverb says: The devil does read the bible too, he just picks out the parts that fit him the best.
MadHatter69
That's true, and it also means that evangelists are the devil. Which is an insult to the D man...
icouldntthinkofabetterusername2
I like the casual use of ‘it’ here. And MTG probably doesn’t mind, since she doesn’t care much for “the pronouns”.
RoyalWithChz
It makes me think of her as Gollum which is fitting.
magicrhombus
I don't really. Dehumanizing the opposition is their game. We're supposed to be better. As deeply flawed of a human as she is, she is still human.
icouldntthinkofabetterusername2
Good point and I agree about the dehumanising. But for someone who doesn’t respect other peoples’ preferred pronouns this might drive the point home. (Though, in her case probably not.)
magicrhombus
I wish Hillary Clinton hadn't been a milquetoast moderate with the charisma of a boiled potato, but when she said "when they go low, we go high," I liked that. I wanted a president who believed in that.
bamcobra
Was that Hillary’s quote? I thought it was Michelle’s.
PerthAussieMike
I'm surprised she isn't getting blisters from holding the Good Book
jasondeslin
She is what every religious person all through history becomes whenever their particular cult gets power. All religions are a plague. If a religious person is good, it is in spite of their religion, not because of it.
darkhalfbreed
Well it's obviously a fake, If you zoom in it just says "Hunter Biden's cock" over and over again to keep her attention to the pages so they can take the picture
Ultratoxic
You mean "Fables For Shepherds, vol 1-36"?
plinkey
it's not even the right color for the Good Book
armorgamesmfa
I bet her favorite part would be ending of the third book with Saruman in the Shire. Rooting for Saruman, of course.
MapleSyrupMafia
"Saruman was the good guy and they cancelled him!!!!!"
duktayp
Member when she showed a picture of Hunter's dong to everyone? Classic
Jagshusband
To be fair it was probably the only cock she’s seen other than her own.
plinkey
yeah, that dude owns, living his best life
Crunkmaster5000XXXL
WWJD? Show a dick pic!
Ohfishyfishyfishyfish
First hunters junk and now she's showing pictures of a massive asshole? Whats Next!
AccountCreatedToUpvoteDogs
That's what Jesus would do, apparently
Gayforbae
So christian...
leodavinci1
I have the feeling if she was as devoted to her religion as is claimed, she wouldn't be divorced... let alone be showing photos of any man's genitals to her coworkers.
Murrdogg
and she did it MULTIPLE times
Schoctane
That's awful! Where did she do that? How would I avoid seeing something like that?
jayman0123
My favorite part of this particular picture, the spine of the book is brand new and she's almost at the end which is impossible for those 2 things to be true. Also, this is the same woman that confused gazpacho/gestapo and Petrie dish/peach tree dish, and getting that far into the Bible would take her months. And note the distinctive lack of a bookmark anywhere near her
Schoctane
I mean, to be fair, it took me years to finish reading the Bible. That book sucks.
TheBlueMuppet
She starts from the end and works backwards, so she can read the whole thing while feeling like she knows the answers, but doesn't understand anything until the beginning anyway.
RandyPhonecian
Well, the end *is* where some of the wackiest stuff is. (Ol' Zeke quoted above is a pretty good runner up, though.)
TCooley79
Not to defend the cretinous PoS but she does have a loose page in there that could be used as a bookmark.
nomorehate
Also lots of bibles have built in bookmarks
4254
She lusted after Hunter Biden, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
Selerox
I appreciate your (mis)use of Ezekiel 23:20.
IEatYourSombrero
Oh look at the pious man quoting scripture to us.
DdCno1
TongueWagger
It’s a reference to the Word of God. Himself. The lady who likes donkey jizz is an immortal biblical figure.
Matsuuu
She is not really immortal biblical figure, she was, don't remember was it Samaria or Israel. It's a metaphor of history of those cities. It's mentioned in Ezekiel 23
Golgothanworm
God says they're both dirty whores
travishawkins2199
Not to argue about religion but I think it was donkey dong, horse jizz... lol