southerndad69
83167
2475
42
May 3, 2021 12:24 AM
southerndad69
83167
2475
42
TsubakiTragic
For 363 nights in a year I'm asleep b4 I have a chance to think "Gee this is a nice pillow". The other 2, yeah, no sleep tonight sunshine.
sleepchamber5772
I scroll imgur until my eyes tire out
BestUsernameICouldThinkOf
I rarely have a problem getting to sleep. STAYING asleep, on the other hand...
Detoc
Same - I can't stay asleep, so I have no problem falling asleep, what with being sleep deprived all day.
ukalliq
I'm the opposite. I sleep like a log for > 8 hours once I'm asleep but it takes me at least an hour of lying in bed before I fall asleep.
JustTryingToLiveLife
My big issue is once i fall asleep, i dont want to wake up, get so invested in that dream its like “Nah fuck reality, 3 more hours”
KmpecChancellorOfTheKlingonEmpire
Sorry I dozed off for a moment there.
Mergetvs
Learn to not worry about stuff that you don't, can't, or won't change. Then get a third shift job for years. You train yourself how to sleep
QuiteAQuietDomino
So you’re saying I should turn off my high functioning anxiety? And then work all night? Sounds like a plan.
phenomanII
Being on meds and finding the right dosage has its ups and downs but being able to fall asleep when I want to has stayed so far.
fugue042
The fact that it usually takes me over an hour implies there's some smug bastard out there falling asleep before he even goes to bed.
riddmkidd
He's still on the couch.
Neoeon
AYYY.
dogmatix
Can confirm. I am regularly so tired when I get home from work I fall asleep on the couch. Sometimes in the car in the driveway.
Neoeon
Never sit down when you get in from work because that's how you wake up hungry in the small hours of the morning.
PMmeYourFeetLadies
Do you drink caffeine?
fugue042
Yes, but even if I stay away from it I still have the insomnia...stupid brain.
southerndad69
I fuckn hate that hahahaha
Glittershart
??♂️
ScubaGirlTX
My husband! He can fall asleep in the middle of a conversation, after a coffee and a nap. While I lay awake from the snoring.
W1ckedw1lly01
This is the best time to resign to just getting off. If he wakes and can help.. bonus?!
dandalion
7 minutes?! Amateurs.. I out by 3...2...
T3hi84n2g
My fiancee. She can fall asleep before the beginning credits are done rolling.
jantschipantschi
thats my movie theater experience.
VeryLongTimeLurker
Do you just have to hint towards having sex and she is gone?
chrismania1
T3hi84n2g
xVVitch
Hint? Hints are fuckin annoying, just bend over and stick your ass in the air so she can peg you properly.
TheTaintHair
dishonestdaniel
Very solid and all-inclusive advice
OldButtStillFat
My mantra is "shut up brain".
nakashima97
Assholes. They are assholes. But maybe I’m just cranky from lack of sleep.
whydoineedtochooseausername
That's me! I'm assholes.
PMmeYourFeetLadies
Do you drink caffeine?
nakashima97
Not really :(
PMmeYourFeetLadies
If you were born in 97 you are still quite young. I didn't sleep well until my late twenties. 20-25 were some sleepless years.
4goodsuccess365
Substitute falling asleep with getting distracted
Ranger1992
Whatd you call me? Lol
BabylonRocker
My SO, which makes me hate her for roughly 40 minutes every evening :D
AvgWhiteShark
Wind down and sleep schedule.
Lezio
Google for the 478 breathing technique.
ShinyDancePants
Stop looking at a screen for the hour before bed damnit! Read a book!
MarxAvenger
Lots of ways to get the time down. Exercise, blue light filters(or just no screens 1hr before bed), regular sleep cycle all help.
mipsen89
What kind of dark witchcraft is at work here???
Splosions
Bed is for sleep and sex. If you are in bed and not doing the sleep or the sex you are wrong.
iamthecomet
My partner does this. I'm so envious.
seyne
Yeah, I gotta like, put in an hour of solid effort and even then it's iffy
darcsidelady
Work a trade-job. You’ll be falling asleep instantly.
ChudStudley
Preach my freind
FoxlovesCookies
I fall asleep in about 5 minutes. Less if my wife gives me a butt rub.
CargoManshark
I fall asleep in about 7 minutes, but I only sleep for 2-3 hours.
jjsjosCreator
yea i usually get 4 , i worked shift work for years and it broke me , used to 12 hour days on 4 hours sleep now. ill rest when
jjsjosCreator
im dead , which with 4 hours a night will atleast be mercifully sooner haha
ThighHighsSaveLives
yeaaadude
I always think of sleep as landing an airplane gently. You just keep circling around slower and deeper until you reach the ground even <
yeaaadude
> if I’m stressed out or anxious I just keeping thinking about slowly shutting down until I am relaxed and it happens
PTFCMcGee
Cannabis
youcanreachmenow
If I was in the couch I could do this no problem, get to bed and its a struggle. I have no idea why. Even when I read it doesnt help
nova1124
My wife gets frustrated about how fast I fall asleep.
axiomatik
Same. Most nights I start reading my book and I’m dropping the book on my face within 2 pages.
Maightybewsh
So an hour? Hehe
rossimus
I love how fast my wife falls asleep. I can then get up and play video games into the night.
CastleBonerShrinker
I've gotten literally like... Angry at my BF because it's instant lights out for him when he lays down. Takes me hoursssss. Bastard ?
wrathfulBurrito
My girl hates it to. I just tell her years of not having a choice about when I get to sleep or how long conditioned me to be fast asleep
aristera
My wife says I've fallen asleep mid sentence. She hates me so much.
mormacil
My ex used to wake me up when she was frustrated I fell asleep so fast and she was still awake, it was a healthy relationship
kualityE
Ur suppose to fall asleep after not during
victell
Same, but I’m asleep soon so I have no idea how long she stays mad.
KivancKasot
My wife falls asleep in mid sentence while i still contemplate life and bad decisions
ImaTamI
Are you my husband? Because yes, yes i do! While you’re sound asleep next to me and I’m on imgur
OtterAvalanche
Same. I lay down, closed my eyes, and am gone.
mattywgtn
Same. I'm normally asleep within 5 minutes
kennybutt
Same. As a teen I just thought about the word “ nothing” over and over and my brain wired that into an off switch that continues to this day
kennybutt
My gf has strong feelings about how I can just turn my brain off and go to bed even when the world is falling down around us
kennybutt
I have that off switch but I work hard every day, just put in a 35’x45’ garden, checked on my family. Need to go to bed knowing all is ok
rubydust
Same. It’s about less than three minutes for me.
JaimeLannistersRightHand
It took me getting a 9 to 5 job where I have to get up around 5:30am before I could manage this. I can literally sleep anywhere now
Chiyodin
I'm frustrated how fast my wife falls asleep. I'm a light sleeper... She snores... Loud!
DecapodianSaysWoopWoopWoopWoop
My ex was also frustrated about that, she always said that I'm like "1, 2, 3, sleep"
SupportGeek
Are you me? Mine ALWAYS complains about how fast I fall asleep comparatively.
nova1124
I don't think so...
collinwebsterwork3000
Same
southerndad69
Tell us how you do it. ?
hotjoga
Get as much sun as you can first thing In the morning and try to be outside for a bit while it’s setting in the evening.
chocolatedashtea
Fuck all these other healthy people. I keep myself in a constant state of exhaustion and can fall asleep instantly anywhere.
PMmeYourFeetLadies
Exercise, no caffeine ever, tons of masturbation. I can sleep whenever I like.
Dopplerfart
No caffeine ? How do you function?
PMmeYourFeetLadies
I realized at a young age my parents needed caffeine just to get to their 'normal'. It's like any drug. I'd just rather my normal be absent.
StuckInBetweeen
Work 12 hour shifts and raise multiple kids. You knock out on command.
stolenmemepolice1
Work out hella hard and watch all the not tired bullshit melt away
palawan422830
I too can fall asleep quickly... This describes me and my wife perfectly. Open the "nothing" box: https://youtu.be/0KrOZe2SxoQ
PTKrieg
1) Turn off any screens. 2) Set up some cover noise (a fan is good for this). 3) Get in a position where you can sit or lie motionless 1/
PTKrieg
(i.e., you don't need to fidget around to get comfy). 4) Clear your mind; this is not brainstorming time, anything outside the bed 2/
PTKrieg
is tomorrow's problem. 5) Start relaxing your muscles. Relax your eyes, unclench your jaw, and work your way down from there. 3/
PTKrieg
6) Hold that state until your alarm startles you or you need to pee. 4/4
elgwango1
Sack of opiate meds & large glass of whiskey usually does the trick but there's not much going on in there anyway
shorey66
Get a toddler. You'll be exhausted at all times.
SkamanSam
I used to have srs issues sleeping. I got turned on to meditation, stuck with it, and after 3 years, I could fall asleep before a 10 count.
IllegalDuckling
Having a warm living pillow to hug does it for me. That's the only way I don't take hours to fall asleep.
phocalpoint
Breath work, good sleep hygiene (no devices, etc), wear yourself out during the day, masturbation, copious amounts of strong cannabis
Ymmit555
Masturbate and cannabis. Got it!
DarthKraken
This got less wholesome very quickly
EndearinglyAwkward
That got progressively more aggressive/relatable
Imademyselfsquirtle
Clear your mind. Just lay down, focus on your breathing slowly.
Mergetvs
Pain relievers, white noise, turn off your brain.
nova1124
I have no idea. I didn't know it was a thing until she told me. I just lay down and close my eyes.
nova1124
And yes I realize that doesn't help. She has told me already.
AmActuallyACat
Does your brain have an off switch
MyleKeville
Yeah, I’m the same way. Lay down and close eyes.
TheProofIsInDePudding
F you and your peace of mind.
Dewfire
I Lay my head down, stretch, take a deep breath and boom asleep.
rubydust
I am so happy I too was blessed with the sleepy gene.
tylerPumpkinTraveler
Oh whenever I take a deep breath I have to cry for 20 minutes. But yeah it’s super relaxing
firesword14
Same, sometimes it's 2 breaths
VeryLongTimeLurker
If that's average, what bastard out there is falling asleep instantly to counter my falling asleep in approximately 3 hours?
otherJeffsarefalseJeffs
Me. All you have to do is have 2 kids and be utterly exhausted 24/7. Used to take hours to fall asleep, not anymore.
Cthulhuchooseyou
That would be my wife. Can go from conscious to snoring in record time. Nickname is Van Winkle.
Maightybewsh
My ex's record was about 3.5 mins, I was insanely jealous.
ReaperCDN
If you have trouble quieting your mind, think, "Don't think," over and over again. Your brain "tunes out" repetition so if you keep /1
ReaperCDN
doing this for about 2 minutes you'll be out like a light. As a soldier I can sleep anywhere anytime. It's a skill I was taught. 2/2
ImGooder
I can wake up every 8 minutes with out trying...not a great super power.
Micro2112
Me. Any time. Any where. I can call asleep
Zathraas
What's his fucking number.
Dinos91
Yo
RoodKontjeAapje
There must be numerous people who fall asleep several hours before even entering their bed.
Hurro
I'm pretty much asleep as soon as I stop moving. I'm good until I sit on the couch or lay down, so I try not to until I'm done my list.
DeepFriedAndSanctified
I usually fall asleep within seconds. I can also maintain on 5 hours sleep a night. My only superpower.
wombatmcgee
Me! I fall asleep as soon as I turn the lights off.
1philthy1
My dad can fall asleep on a dime. Instantly. Not only because he’s old, but he did it my whole life.
WeaselBandit
That would be me
JhericFury
If you count naps in places that aren't bed I can fall asleep very quickly
anubricwookie
sorry, but I'm not sorry. I have had insomnia at times and it sucks, but it's rare. I normally sleep like it's a competition.
StephanoB
Right here
Aspecti
Learned to sleep whenever and wherever I can in the army. Even slept standing in the apc machine gun hatch once while the apc was moving. :)
DougForcett
I’m usually asleep two or three minutes after I close my eyes. But I can’t sleep in to save my life - awake by 7am even on Saturdays.
SxBobOmb09
Ditto, and with age the starts keep getting earlier
Pulsifer
The narcoleptics have finally found who's to blame.
JohnMillswantstoupvote
Ouch sorry me
Martellus
I can fall asleep in less than 5 mins. Sometimes almost instantly. I won’t last long in the Nightmare on Elm Street universe.
CitizenPrime
Me
DONTsendtits
Hi
TheDrunkenWrench
Me when I switched to nights. Borderline narcoleptic for a few months.
skipsh2
Me
IllegalDuckling
Conaidering the insane amount of really old people from the baby boom right now, probably those. They all fall asleep instantly somehow
SpazzyPrincessPea
That would be me.....3 minutes my dude......
KarmaciouS
I know 2 of them, instant sleep within seconds
steelerchief
Yep. Years of navy submariner training means I can go alert to REM in about 45 secs. Pisses my wife off big time.
Sebbi
Get kids....
backrideup9
Dont be impressed by that, I've been at work for 16 hours, so it's more necessity than ability.
dlarrydlarry
Sorry? Body knows bed is for sleeping only(or other nightime activities) so once I get in bed I'm asleep in minutes.
elganif
I do that too, but still 30 minutes is my record, about an hour is my average
odoylerules89
Me!
thelyzardiam
I fall asleep within 5 typically. I hear that's bad though, means you're overly tired. I've always been that way though.
Taos87
I usually can hit nap stage in under 3-4 minutes and a proper sleep in under 10
AndrewCanadian
Hi. I'm out like a light maybe 2 minutes after my head hits the pillow. Sorry.
DuckTheseAds
Yup, same here.. 10:30 I'm starting to pass out, almost as soon as my head hits the pillow it's lights out
ABirdWalkedOnMyPillow
My boyfriend falls asleep as soon as he gets under the covers. I take about 4 hours.
mt77932
I fall asleep within a couple minutes but I have severe difficulty sleeping longer than 3 - 4 hours. This is why I'm on Imgur at 1am.
Ketheres
Soldiers, I guess. Back in the army I could fall asleep while standing still. Not anymore though.
NotaCPA
Sleep study confirmed 48 seconds after head hit the pillow.
Teaelf
That's me. Sorry. I'm kinda narcoleptic. Like sitting still for too long with no stimulation. Or lost in thought. Watching a show.
Howmuchistoomuchspam
I apologize for existing. I found this super power while at military college. I didn’t earn it. It is a gift.
Howmuchistoomuchspam
If it makes u feel better I watched every single late rerun of daily show and Colbert report through Hs...until military college.
LollipopKid
Yep, usually just a minute or 2 after I decide it's time
0Sio0
Um, my bad. My wife also super hates me for it.
UlrichLudsen
Join the military. Most useful skill i learned was to fall asleep on command. Even learned to sleep while marching in step.
UnknownUser320
I can basically tell myself when to sleep or to just will myself to stay awake....now....waking up is a whole game all in itself.
BarrelGC
My partner will literally take 10 - 20 seconds to fall asleep. It's crazy, makes me so jealous
zebulorg
Anyone in the military.
bigkingdingaling
Me, sorry. I'll try to take longer
LunaLeMoon
That would be me. Im out in like 1-2 mins
ERICMC2
Hi. Sorry about your luck.
end3r420
Me
CelestialDancerChick
My husband can go to sleep instantly, anywhere, anytime. I am jealous and I hate him.
SkywardSpork
My girlfriend, never been so jealous of a person in all my life.
youdontknowhowtoeatmuffjohnsnow
Third shifters
FishSausages
Here. Get 6 hours of sleep/night, exercise in the morning and chase my kids around all day. You'll pass right tf out as well
Relykwastaken
Knock that down to 4 hours and drop the exercise is what works for me. Probably not as healthy though...
SquirrelLaunchr
Me.
Burke616
Narcoleptics count negative toward the average, they fall asleep before they intended to.
indrindri
My fiancé. Every fucking night.
frozenkhaos12
Me. I'm sorry
lostlittletimeonthis
Yes sorry man, i just sit in bed in the dark and in 5 min I'm sleeping
attofreak
A toddler who got no damn rent and bills to pay
TITAN74205
My wife's timed me at 8 seconds to a minute to fall asleep.
abdicus
My wife.
SirMora
It's mostly soilders, mfers can fall asleep anytime, anywhere, in under 3 minutes
Nuclearun
Like several others in this chain, I'm sorry it's so easy for me to fall asleep. If it makes you feel better, it aggravates my wife too.
dwaynetichinel31415
I only fall asleep instantly when driving
IsaacD2
Same
LittleMrsAli
My husband. He sleeps like the dead. Anywhere, many times while he was standing.
ryukochan
I have narcolepsy. My record at a sleep study was <60 seconds, 5 times, over an 8 hour MSLT.
TheobromineAddict
Method: https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sleep/fall-asleep-fast
DrunkenBirdDog
.
FenrirsDaughter
Good for people who know how to relax their muscles, but I've never been able to figure that out. Fuck me, I guess.
TheobromineAddict
Look up "Relaxation Response". https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/using-the-relaxation-response-to-reduce-stress-20101110780
sweetnaivety
easiest way is to tense the musle, then release the tension as much as you can
TheobromineAddict
Also known as the "Relaxation Response". https://www.apa.org/monitor/2008/10/relaxation
kickmyballsrealhard
That mother fucker is falling asleep hours before they even wanted to!
dasclown
Grandparents?
SacrificialClam
Narcoleptics
cozynester
I can fall asleep pretty much on command. I've trained my brain to respond to a routine. Only takes a minute or two usually
leafdwelling
Pretty much this for me too.
TheOnlyChance
Sleep now.
bac83
Me too! My wife gets soooo mad. I’ve tried to reach her, but nah. I play through a little adventure story, where I end up hidden and safe...
Iamonlyhereforyourpuppers
Me too! I listen to music and fall asleep right away... I could be listening to Devil Driver and he out before the vocals kick in
TwoFlower68
Same, but I prefer guided meditations and sedate podcasts.
skrimple
How do done that
littlebatman
Same
littlebatman
Makes my wife so mad
Pseudobatrachotoxin
I haven’t trained my brain - the exhaustion does it for me. Sit down, stop moving around, and I’m the fuck out.
YayItsMillerTime
Are you a combat pilot?
TheF4llen5tar
Cheers man. When I was in HS it would take me hours to sleep. When I was 25 I'd hit the bed and crash instantly. Sleep soundly now.
3lda002
I used to be like you before I got PTSD. Treasure it.
belligerentrightdoer
GET HIM!!!
ceceoh
I trained my brain to take Ambien.
samskwantch
Me too! It was hard.
Compound515
I also have a routine. I start by laying on my right, and when I can't sleep I switch to my left, still nothing, back to the right
Morsalbum
still nothing, flip pillow over, still nothing, sit up with hands over face silently whisperscreaming WHY CANT I FCKING SLEEP, still nothing
CitizenPrime
Do tell
CeruleanSky1988
So I'm guessing your brain doesn't scream at you at night about every single mistake you made in the 1st grade?
cozynester
Nah that's for when I wake up and the crushing weight of existence keeps me from getting out of bed
Morsalbum
this one depressions
Morsalbum
sleep is the absolute best fcking solace ever. waking up? functioning? being a human? uuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhfuuuuuuhuuuuck
ILovedUnicornsFirst
Do tell. Or else.
YayItsMillerTime
https://www.inc.com/melanie-curtin/want-to-fall-asleep-faster-combat-pilots-use-this-hack-to-get-to-sleep-in-2-minutes-or-less.html
minimite1
my secret is being in a state of constant tiredness and caring about nothing so there is nothing to overthink
sweetnaivety
this is me except for some reason when I lay down I'm not tired anymore
DonGuest
Don't take this personally but I hate you
Sakabashira
I can do some weird shit with my eyes that make them feel heavier and therefore easier to fall asleep. Can’t always do it on command though.
CrimeBrulee
Sakabashira
No easy way I suppose. You know those pics of dudes high as balls? Eyes barely open? Almost a squint. In that position I give myself
Rataard
I disagree. You should take it personally.
knightofthehokeypokey
Take it, personally.
Arbitrarynamehere
Take, personally
WafflesMcPancakes
Me too. My wife hates it.
archfile101
My GF hates it too. Sometimes she cries
IllegalDuckling
I can only do it when mine is around
sponlapp
And rightly so...
Btch128
I hate you and the other dude
PastureofMuppets
Let your hate lull you to restful slumber....
IronIce111
Same! Ain't that right @theseshoesweremadeforrunningaway ??!
ineedasmallerusername
Fuck you
IronIce111
I'm about to go to sleep babe, want to time me?