UselessImgurian
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Oct 4, 2016 8:22 AM
UselessImgurian
229258
9260
328
LudicrousSpeedGo
Nah.
PedestrianElectrobastard
I live life like a jedi, because I have to force myself to do antyhing at all. Hah hah hah kill me.
rvleshrac
"...and do real work..." - David Karp, a man who has never even been in the same time zone as real work.
Heroxighn
badmagic
We all need that reminder.
StreaksOnTheChinaNeverMatteredBefore
No I'm more likely to hit snooze, oversleep, rush breakfast, fight traffic, and regret adulthood.
UonlyThinkyourDead
you forgot vodka to cope
ThatRussian
Yeah wtf read, visualize, work out? More like Imgur on the toilet, snooze in shower, rush out the door while chewing a piece of bread.
imfromthegreatwhitenortheh
For the username UselessImgurian, this post was pretty useful @OP
DickMcStiffens
Ever wanted to skip a post full of charts of things you will never do?
muscletank
MAKE SURE YOU do not warm up And only do one set of 10 reps for curls and 3 whole 1/8th rep squats before you do 74 sit ups and leave
yesiamawalrusthankyouforasking
This guy works out
coffeemakesmefeelfunny
Does he really need invisible shorts in #10 ?
KjTheLightning
if i followed seve jobs advice i'd be broke in2 weeks, and if i followed karp's one, i'd stay in bed all day.
Hizoran
Cut out sugar and garbage and started JiuJitsu. Four months later I'm down 35lbs and can run 5k without getting tired.
RTBackup
Start the day customer service? LOLno
pterosnactyl
I knew telling my trainer that I spend hours in bed scrolling imgur was a bad idea.
justusandjustice
"Don't check your email and do real work." So I shouldn't do either of those things? Commas, people, commas!
MagnificentTurd
I just ordered big pizza...for me only, so yeah...
Macalucifer666
Email is real work for a lot of people.
ph0etus
Some of us have other things to do besides working out.
speedstorm
Yes, dont check your email! Miss all the appointments and projects that were sent by email. I am sure the boss will like it.
andyar
Kind of ridiculous how I think I have no time to work out, yet the President has time for it.
DingleberryMcGee
Don't check emails, but also talk to your customers?
PeterNormal
Sometimes real work is Email. In fact it is the only work I do that still feels like work... It is my "eat the frog"
skelekittycat
I literally have to check my emails for potential policy/departmental updates or I could do my job wrong and get into shit. Emails first.
chrisjfinlay
Yep. If I don't check my email, my team gets nothing done.
ShaunthePr0n
If I did what Steve job suggests, I definitely wouldn't go to work. Or work out. What's the point if today is your last day.
swaziwarrior
Yeah, like what am I supposed to do with the info?... 'I dont want to go that Dr appointment and then head to a busy stressful day at work.'
unknwownandstuff
And there's your problem, sir.
ShaunthePr0n
If the world was ending tomorrow there would be no point working or working out because I don't get paid daily and gains take time.
gripARN
Steve Jobs also managed to die by one of the most curable cancers, he was pretty retarded for a smart dude.
OctoPlusNone
Yeah, if Steve Jobs followed that advice any day before he was a CEO, I'm pretty sure there's no chance we'd know his name today.
Gkoz
Right? I cant stand celebrity advice at times, "Just do what makes you happy" Sorry Katy Perry, Netflix and Chipotle don't pay the bills.
MnemonicMonkeys
Really his answer should have been to get his colon cancer actually treated instead of that holistic medicine bullshit
eclecsys
It was pancreatic cancer
Caniac
I'd probably grind more on the Czech line in World of Tanks. And maybe sign up for volunteer work next week
djnibler
Right? Works great if you are a billionaire or retired.
Typisknorsk
My first thought exactly. I would probably eat two pizzas and a cake.
SonicBoomYourFamily
Seriously. Maybe hug loved ones. Paint a picture. Sky dive. Do a bunch of drugs. Kill my enemies. Create a will.
thisismyvietnam
Remember kids you need two disinterested witnesses in most jurisdictions for a will to be valid
mammothfart
Kill my enemies.... Never thought about that.
mspaintlad
Probably order 10 dominos pizzas and fuck myself up
IcandowhateverIlike
But you might rethink not getting a trademark on things your friends made.
snomang
Just get the Chinese to work for you for pennies and earn you billions whilst you go back to college and be a hero
rugmiem
Torrent13
The ask yourself part in the first picture is super unrealistic. No one would ever spend their last day doing the shit Society inflicts
NoodleyLove
I love all of these ones that say DO REAL WORK! DON'T CHECK YOUR EMAIL! Yes so when the ER director is emailing me, I should ignore it...
Jacxy
If you haven't checked the email, you can't read em.
skelekittycat
Yup. And for me, I should just assume that no important updates have been emailed out and just continue the same as I did yesterday
MXKNR
I always check who wrote me, just a quick scan, if nobody "important" wrote then I dont check my mail until later.
Sekikaki
if you want 55cm arnold biceps you will need steroids, or the perfect genetics and a lot of years of training...
Sekikaki
and you can in no way compare someone working out 3 times a week with someone taking roids and working out 5-14 times a week
AlexanderFieldisnotmyrealname
But how else can I chase my dream of sinking California?
Lunar8
Workouts
UselessImgurian
This is a 3 week old post, why did you comment so late?
Koztah
I like how Arnold Schwarzenegger's bicep measurement at his peak is on there. Dude was popping dianabol like candy. Way to set expectations.
MuchWOWveryGiraffe
I actually will follow through with this. I'll post pictures and errthing. Thanks in advance OP <3
fractalsphere
Favgotten
zlds
Fitness 101: find BMR, count calories, eat healthy, exercise, eat less calories than you burn if losing, eat more if gaining, you're welcome
Sekikaki
BMR is good to know but you will have to test it out if you don't, I train 9-12 times a week, eat good (without supplements) and manage to >
Sekikaki
gain if I want to gain. But not everyone is the same, I get muscels fast and fat fast cause I absorb most of the food I eat other people >
Sekikaki
aren't that lucky if it comes to gaining mass, they stuggle like my friend who is forced to eat over 5000 calories a day to gain a little...
johnqcurls
This may be theoretically possible, but most people who think they eat a lot but can't gain muscle just aren't eating as much as they think.
manbastard
BMR?
zlds
Basal metabolic heart rate, pretty much how many calories you burn if you just sat still all day!
stevensoegaard
And don't do three exercises for biceps and three for triceps. Don't become the curlmaster. Do basic movements like deadlifts, squats, bench
UselessImgurian
That's some solid advice, thanks
ImmaNeedBoutTreeFiddy
Username does not check out
Thesepretzlesaremakingmethirsty
Now give some solid advice for will power
zlds
For me it was straight narcissism. Bad, I know, but I just wanted to look as good as the ripped dudes in movies haha