Jan 3, 2020 4:40 AM
rchrdp305
116753
3521
219
Gubimand
Damn I was expecting the spanish inquisition
Tajik
My daughter crawled for the first time yesterday. You're gunna have a blast, didn't know i could love this much.
ThepJup
how is prangent formed?
DutchGuyMike
Pragananant?
Goku
@op LOVE THE BLANKET!
urdnotjimmy
GIRLDRIEND AINT HAD PERIOD SINCE SHE GOT PREGAT.?
Combatman23
Man your feet are small as hell.
IndigoVixx9
PoopingFaceEater
Kudos on the sex
diolikanull
ClockworkKoala
Woulda been real funny if she had gotten you your first pair of new balance.
TupacAintDead
I’m assuming it’s yours?
AlexDuos
Congrats!
whitey211
Made for kids, by kids.
Oof xD
Erijdmatp
Congrats man it must be such a good feeling to have a healthy relationship
BunnyKing95
YAY! Congratulations!
ditetraconta
v
MrHailstone
Im so sorry
GlowstickJedi
With those shoes you can run away even faster
TeaMama
Cute!! Congrats to you both!
Justpassingthrough420
sweetiecat
Congrats dudes!!! ?
FluffyFluff
Yes! But sorry about the money going away..
bubbasparxx
And the sleep
Do not forget the close friendships, the free time, personal hobbies, unhealthy eating/sleeping habits and ability to be spontaneous..
StuKap
Just DID it.
WarlocknLoad
RoovyRoo
soupiswhatitsoundslikewhenyoueatsoup
"Trunks? But that's my son's name!" "Father? That's what my son calls me!"
JustBoone
I was wearing my armor!
Freemasonry
BULMA! Sex makes babies! Also Chichi's pregnant
Solblazer86
HeWhoLaughsAndFartsInYourGeneralDirection
theguywiththevoice
You thought you got 2 pairs of kicks and you got 1 pair and 20 years of sleepless, crushing poverty
NowYourJustBeatingOffaDeadHorse
It's one of the reasons I refuse to have kids. I can take the sleepless nights. But I fear I'm just not financially stable to support them..
EvilLead
Travis Scott 7s! The other thing is neat too
julianfoool
6
5
srlfish
Ahh the last pair of Jordan’s you will ever own. Kids ain’t cheap
FuttBuckit
He'll be able to flip them for a good price, though
NaughtyNaughtyNaughty
How much do kids go for nowadays
No clue, but the adult size travis scott air jordans go for a pretty penny. Probably around 300-500$
Oh. You're talking about shoes.
brekko
If they can afford 2 pairs and a random extra pair as part of a gag I imagine they are financially quite fine
nhoffmann198712
This is so true.....
MassStorageDeviceCanNowBeSafelyRemoved
which is why you gotta sell 'em so you can have a lot more Jordan's
ElbowDeepInLeBronsPuzzy
at first i thought you meant selling the kid, but after some thought i realized you prolly meant sell the shoes. still going with sell the kid tho.
AbsolutelyNotTheNSA
CitizenPrime
She peed on that
Windrunner1081
Not if she's smart. Pee in a cup, dip the test.
daltonWHATWHAT
That’s hot
ramarins
*sighs* how many times... THERE'S A CAP. Besides, if you can't handle a drop of pee, don't have kids.
TheGhostInAJar
Shoes and divorce papers
Erbicom2
No, she'll divorce him after 6 or 7 years because "he isn't the same guy anymore".
ProbablyProbably
50/50 chance he's right!
Saldus
Who hurt you
IAmNotACatISwear
I assume his ex
Tastesicle
Piss stick and parasite.
ChoovaMonster
So much money
ipoopanywhere
I wish I could get laid with my Dragonball Z blanket
xSocksMan
He couldn’t either...it’s her way of saying she’s moving on with her affair
LiarLiarPantsUntier
Maybe if you were potty trained and didn’t poop everywhere, you’d have a better chance.
TyrannosaurusMex
He didn’t. His mom gave him the gifts...
BloomAndGrowIris
Will there be actual human contact, or just another soggy kleenex? Find out next time in Dragonball Sheets!
HatinS8N
That god damn Jordan is having another baby.
freiman
I'm married with kids and I have had the same hulk blanket for years
DemoB0y
Stop wishing and start paying.
No
Tuxbandito
Dragonball super*
lightupman
Gotta at least get that right to be able to win over the ladies
Ishey01071995
Beat me to it.
LittleAngelTgirl
With a name like that, I don't think the blanket is the problem
It's poopin, and know
burtgummersurvivalist
How do you think I met my wife?
m00nWatcher
You gotta get yourself a Bulma lol
DavidNuke
I think Bulma would accuse you of sexual comments first...
Pandwan
Or princess trunks
But they lie to you
DIINKELBERG
spud8876
ALL HAIL PRINCESS TRUNKS
adrnp
SaphirasSexDoll
Yeesh! No thanks! Chichi is just as bad! Give me a woman like Goku's mom or 18.
QuasarsAndBlazars
Goku had a mom?
Yes. He wasn't a testube baby. Lol https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/dragonball/images/e/e9/Gine_8.png/revision/latest?cb=20190202180319
Yo! Not gonna lie, Krillin scored with 18. I mean, poor guy is always getting killed so it evens out haha.
Goku is also always getting himself killed. Lol
TheLastBootyBender
To be fair it's usually his own fault
DrHawkward
Or a chi chi
Nah, my friend & I are in agreement that Chichi ruined Gohan’s chance at being the strongest Z fighter. Other than that she’s awesome.
Chikanboo
The problem is that she may have prevented Gohan becoming Uber powerful she gave him the best chance to succeed in the real world.
Besides as a scholar he will one day write the book that brings Ki manipulation to the masses
Plus she’s always nagging at Goku to stop training, whereas Bulma encourages & supports Vegeta.
Ghostlogicz
This is why vegeta is now the strongest , it was a journey but chichi finally did it
SirSciencewastaken
I still don't get how she doesn't understand that if he stops training they all die.
Well, bulma is filthy rich. Goku ate her money away
GerberLegalTeam
Just get a chick that likes Dragonball.
LeeeB
And we do exist ?
SyntheticReindeer
@ipoopanywhere here, now go on a date and copulate
keyonne
XD I spent News Years eve binge watching Dragonball Super with my brother in law.
LaronX
There hasn't ever been a better time to be a nerd and get laid. Source: Life long nerd who plays Pokémon, Magic, DnD and Zelda
Dude chicks fuckin love Pokemon, I don't get it.
I know. They also love DnD, Zelda and all that other nerdy stuff.
HappyDuck123
There are no women on the internet
Oh... Mhhh
rgzdev
The internet, where all girls are little boys. And all little boys are FBI agents.
Shepardsweshallbe
That’s pretty cool my wife just woke me up and like shook the stick at me
gmcsorley365
Same. But no wife. A bar full o people and a on off relationship. 3 kids later an emigration to aus later and that bitch is Goooonnneee
To be fair tho.. we prob will work it out..once she takes housekeeping classes
ministryofpeace
Pee spraying everywhere off the stick
not like this
xFiDgetx
Did a few drops splatter on your face?
No such luck
TheOrangeLady
I mean I would think it gets a lot more fun to figure out how to tell the news, when you know the baby is wanted, but also harder to wait.
Hurlerontheditch10
Both Good. Both good.
manbearpiglet2
My wife got me nothing. Christmas/birthday number 3 with a goose egg.
TheCultist
LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID
scroobiusgav
I like this just as much.
MrXistentialCrisis
Was there still pee dribble?
Smigions
My best friend at the time just went ahead and put the gross pee stick in my hand! Why give me the pee stick!? Just tell me you are preggers
So after telling her she read it wrong and she isn't preggers. I also had to explain that she has a very small chance or getting pregnant.
Because having a guy come on your stomach is not the same as penetration! We both had sex ED how did she miss the point this bad?
Wow I’m glad you caught her up
whatpassesforclever
Turnabout is fair play.
ITellUWhat
She was just shaking off the pee...
usul1978
Got that too the second time !
Twinklepot
I read *shook a stick at me
richtus
Shook *her* stick at him... ;D
I’m pregnant
NyQuilDaydream
I'm picturing Yoda poking Luke with his cane
No that was how me made the baby
Haha just waking up it might as well have been I just remember feeling fear
mrbellek
I was at work, asked over WhatsApp if she peed on a stick yet, she went "yes :)"
vindik8or
"I PISSED ON THIS"
ShearWind
I told my SO to close his eyes and put the test in his hand and said "Congratulations, you're gonna be a dad!" then cried hysterically...
I could see the "wtf is happening right now" in his eyes but I couldn't STOP CRYING. In my defense, I had lost a pregnancy before this.
RancidOrange
Whereas it’s normally the other way around?
youeatpiecesofshitforbreakfast
Yeah. I was on third shift and just went to sleep when she came barging in with the ole pee stick.
Snotty128
I told mine I was busy playing the new xcom, so she sent me the news via text message. I think you win
Modepro
My husband was also ingame... so I had to wait a few minutes before he shared my happiness!
Goldensands
Thanks for understanding! No doubt news like this is an acceptable interrupt to him tho, but even so it’s nice of you to respect his gaming!
As long as he would do the same when I bash the dragons in Skyrim! :-)
Ashokaaa
Which is fair.
dduncan55330
I mean it's XCOM. It's understandable
Alpha38
That's XCom, baby.
byohzzrd
I had to tell mine she was pregnant. She peed on the test, came downstairs crying and dumped out the pitcher of margaritas we were enjoying.
Saxit
PerryCoxMD
My wife waited until she could tell I was having a really bad day to tell me. I snapped back so fast I think I got whiplash.
WhosYourDobby
That's kind of how I did it, think I would go mad having to keep it a secret while thinking of a clever way to reveal it.
JoiyJoiyQueenofDaKobolds
keep it secret, keep it safe, until it pops out
lesserjupiter
I found out I was at 1 am and had to wait until 5 am to tell my husband. that was the longest few hours of my life.
DrMittensPHD
Mine told me so she wouldn’t have to be the one to go pick up pizza
That’s fantastic
Id0ntg3t1t
Thats exactly how I found out too. Now I'm kinda freaking out about the money side.
DeathLemons
Right, because of how valuable they are. Should probs get insurance.
Yeah man you just kind of figure it out nothing brings the problem solving out of you like kids
Lyndrynxxo
USED STUFF. man I saved so much money. I didn’t compromise on a car seat but the rest was either borrowed or bought used. Helps.
Thanks mate, I'll be sure to go used for most stuff.
AnythingMuchShorter
As someone with two kids, the tax breaks cover a lot, and don't be ashamed to get used stuff (changing table, swing, crib, stroller)
Obviously hygiene and car safety related stuff should be new, but for the big furniture items it doesnt matter.
Don't you do the same? Can you really blame her?
Yeah I’m sure we were both like what ok
Once I woke up a little more I was ecstatic
I appreciates you
Gubimand
Damn I was expecting the spanish inquisition
Tajik
My daughter crawled for the first time yesterday. You're gunna have a blast, didn't know i could love this much.
ThepJup
how is prangent formed?
DutchGuyMike
Pragananant?
Goku
@op LOVE THE BLANKET!
urdnotjimmy
GIRLDRIEND AINT HAD PERIOD SINCE SHE GOT PREGAT.?
DutchGuyMike
Pragananant?
Combatman23
Man your feet are small as hell.
IndigoVixx9
PoopingFaceEater
Kudos on the sex
diolikanull
ClockworkKoala
Woulda been real funny if she had gotten you your first pair of new balance.
TupacAintDead
I’m assuming it’s yours?
AlexDuos
Congrats!
whitey211
Made for kids, by kids.
DutchGuyMike
Oof xD
Erijdmatp
Congrats man it must be such a good feeling to have a healthy relationship
BunnyKing95
YAY! Congratulations!
ditetraconta
MrHailstone
Im so sorry
GlowstickJedi
With those shoes you can run away even faster
TeaMama
Cute!! Congrats to you both!
Justpassingthrough420
sweetiecat
Congrats dudes!!! ?
FluffyFluff
Yes! But sorry about the money going away..
bubbasparxx
And the sleep
FluffyFluff
Do not forget the close friendships, the free time, personal hobbies, unhealthy eating/sleeping habits and ability to be spontaneous..
StuKap
Just DID it.
WarlocknLoad
RoovyRoo
WarlocknLoad
soupiswhatitsoundslikewhenyoueatsoup
"Trunks? But that's my son's name!" "Father? That's what my son calls me!"
JustBoone
I was wearing my armor!
Freemasonry
BULMA! Sex makes babies! Also Chichi's pregnant
Solblazer86
HeWhoLaughsAndFartsInYourGeneralDirection
theguywiththevoice
You thought you got 2 pairs of kicks and you got 1 pair and 20 years of sleepless, crushing poverty
NowYourJustBeatingOffaDeadHorse
It's one of the reasons I refuse to have kids. I can take the sleepless nights. But I fear I'm just not financially stable to support them..
EvilLead
Travis Scott 7s! The other thing is neat too
julianfoool
6
NowYourJustBeatingOffaDeadHorse
5
srlfish
Ahh the last pair of Jordan’s you will ever own. Kids ain’t cheap
FuttBuckit
He'll be able to flip them for a good price, though
NaughtyNaughtyNaughty
How much do kids go for nowadays
FuttBuckit
No clue, but the adult size travis scott air jordans go for a pretty penny. Probably around 300-500$
NaughtyNaughtyNaughty
Oh. You're talking about shoes.
brekko
If they can afford 2 pairs and a random extra pair as part of a gag I imagine they are financially quite fine
nhoffmann198712
This is so true.....
MassStorageDeviceCanNowBeSafelyRemoved
which is why you gotta sell 'em so you can have a lot more Jordan's
ElbowDeepInLeBronsPuzzy
at first i thought you meant selling the kid, but after some thought i realized you prolly meant sell the shoes. still going with sell the kid tho.
AbsolutelyNotTheNSA
CitizenPrime
She peed on that
Windrunner1081
Not if she's smart. Pee in a cup, dip the test.
daltonWHATWHAT
That’s hot
ramarins
*sighs* how many times... THERE'S A CAP. Besides, if you can't handle a drop of pee, don't have kids.
CitizenPrime
TheGhostInAJar
Shoes and divorce papers
Erbicom2
No, she'll divorce him after 6 or 7 years because "he isn't the same guy anymore".
ProbablyProbably
50/50 chance he's right!
Saldus
Who hurt you
IAmNotACatISwear
I assume his ex
Tastesicle
Piss stick and parasite.
ChoovaMonster
So much money
ipoopanywhere
I wish I could get laid with my Dragonball Z blanket
xSocksMan
He couldn’t either...it’s her way of saying she’s moving on with her affair
LiarLiarPantsUntier
Maybe if you were potty trained and didn’t poop everywhere, you’d have a better chance.
TyrannosaurusMex
He didn’t. His mom gave him the gifts...
BloomAndGrowIris
Will there be actual human contact, or just another soggy kleenex? Find out next time in Dragonball Sheets!
HatinS8N
That god damn Jordan is having another baby.
freiman
I'm married with kids and I have had the same hulk blanket for years
DemoB0y
Stop wishing and start paying.
ipoopanywhere
No
Tuxbandito
Dragonball super*
lightupman
Gotta at least get that right to be able to win over the ladies
Ishey01071995
Beat me to it.
LittleAngelTgirl
With a name like that, I don't think the blanket is the problem
ipoopanywhere
It's poopin, and know
burtgummersurvivalist
How do you think I met my wife?
m00nWatcher
You gotta get yourself a Bulma lol
DavidNuke
I think Bulma would accuse you of sexual comments first...
Pandwan
Or princess trunks
m00nWatcher
But they lie to you
DIINKELBERG
spud8876
ALL HAIL PRINCESS TRUNKS
adrnp
SaphirasSexDoll
Yeesh! No thanks! Chichi is just as bad! Give me a woman like Goku's mom or 18.
QuasarsAndBlazars
Goku had a mom?
SaphirasSexDoll
Yes. He wasn't a testube baby. Lol https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/dragonball/images/e/e9/Gine_8.png/revision/latest?cb=20190202180319
m00nWatcher
Yo! Not gonna lie, Krillin scored with 18. I mean, poor guy is always getting killed so it evens out haha.
SaphirasSexDoll
Goku is also always getting himself killed. Lol
TheLastBootyBender
To be fair it's usually his own fault
DrHawkward
Or a chi chi
m00nWatcher
Nah, my friend & I are in agreement that Chichi ruined Gohan’s chance at being the strongest Z fighter. Other than that she’s awesome.
Chikanboo
The problem is that she may have prevented Gohan becoming Uber powerful she gave him the best chance to succeed in the real world.
Chikanboo
Besides as a scholar he will one day write the book that brings Ki manipulation to the masses
m00nWatcher
Plus she’s always nagging at Goku to stop training, whereas Bulma encourages & supports Vegeta.
Ghostlogicz
This is why vegeta is now the strongest , it was a journey but chichi finally did it
SirSciencewastaken
I still don't get how she doesn't understand that if he stops training they all die.
DIINKELBERG
Well, bulma is filthy rich. Goku ate her money away
GerberLegalTeam
Just get a chick that likes Dragonball.
LeeeB
And we do exist ?
SyntheticReindeer
@ipoopanywhere here, now go on a date and copulate
keyonne
XD I spent News Years eve binge watching Dragonball Super with my brother in law.
LaronX
There hasn't ever been a better time to be a nerd and get laid. Source: Life long nerd who plays Pokémon, Magic, DnD and Zelda
GerberLegalTeam
Dude chicks fuckin love Pokemon, I don't get it.
LaronX
I know. They also love DnD, Zelda and all that other nerdy stuff.
HappyDuck123
There are no women on the internet
LeeeB
Oh... Mhhh
rgzdev
The internet, where all girls are little boys. And all little boys are FBI agents.
Shepardsweshallbe
That’s pretty cool my wife just woke me up and like shook the stick at me
gmcsorley365
Same. But no wife. A bar full o people and a on off relationship. 3 kids later an emigration to aus later and that bitch is Goooonnneee
gmcsorley365
To be fair tho.. we prob will work it out..once she takes housekeeping classes
ministryofpeace
Pee spraying everywhere off the stick
Shepardsweshallbe
xFiDgetx
Did a few drops splatter on your face?
Shepardsweshallbe
No such luck
TheOrangeLady
I mean I would think it gets a lot more fun to figure out how to tell the news, when you know the baby is wanted, but also harder to wait.
Hurlerontheditch10
Both Good. Both good.
manbearpiglet2
My wife got me nothing. Christmas/birthday number 3 with a goose egg.
TheCultist
LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID
scroobiusgav
I like this just as much.
MrXistentialCrisis
Was there still pee dribble?
Smigions
My best friend at the time just went ahead and put the gross pee stick in my hand! Why give me the pee stick!? Just tell me you are preggers
Smigions
So after telling her she read it wrong and she isn't preggers. I also had to explain that she has a very small chance or getting pregnant.
Smigions
Because having a guy come on your stomach is not the same as penetration! We both had sex ED how did she miss the point this bad?
Shepardsweshallbe
Wow I’m glad you caught her up
whatpassesforclever
Turnabout is fair play.
ITellUWhat
She was just shaking off the pee...
usul1978
Got that too the second time !
Twinklepot
I read *shook a stick at me
richtus
Shook *her* stick at him... ;D
Shepardsweshallbe
I’m pregnant
NyQuilDaydream
I'm picturing Yoda poking Luke with his cane
Shepardsweshallbe
No that was how me made the baby
Shepardsweshallbe
Haha just waking up it might as well have been I just remember feeling fear
mrbellek
I was at work, asked over WhatsApp if she peed on a stick yet, she went "yes :)"
vindik8or
"I PISSED ON THIS"
ShearWind
I told my SO to close his eyes and put the test in his hand and said "Congratulations, you're gonna be a dad!" then cried hysterically...
ShearWind
I could see the "wtf is happening right now" in his eyes but I couldn't STOP CRYING. In my defense, I had lost a pregnancy before this.
RancidOrange
Whereas it’s normally the other way around?
youeatpiecesofshitforbreakfast
Yeah. I was on third shift and just went to sleep when she came barging in with the ole pee stick.
Snotty128
I told mine I was busy playing the new xcom, so she sent me the news via text message. I think you win
Modepro
My husband was also ingame... so I had to wait a few minutes before he shared my happiness!
Goldensands
Thanks for understanding! No doubt news like this is an acceptable interrupt to him tho, but even so it’s nice of you to respect his gaming!
Modepro
As long as he would do the same when I bash the dragons in Skyrim! :-)
Ashokaaa
Which is fair.
dduncan55330
I mean it's XCOM. It's understandable
Alpha38
That's XCom, baby.
byohzzrd
I had to tell mine she was pregnant. She peed on the test, came downstairs crying and dumped out the pitcher of margaritas we were enjoying.
Saxit
PerryCoxMD
My wife waited until she could tell I was having a really bad day to tell me. I snapped back so fast I think I got whiplash.
WhosYourDobby
That's kind of how I did it, think I would go mad having to keep it a secret while thinking of a clever way to reveal it.
JoiyJoiyQueenofDaKobolds
keep it secret, keep it safe, until it pops out
lesserjupiter
I found out I was at 1 am and had to wait until 5 am to tell my husband. that was the longest few hours of my life.
DrMittensPHD
Mine told me so she wouldn’t have to be the one to go pick up pizza
Shepardsweshallbe
That’s fantastic
Id0ntg3t1t
Thats exactly how I found out too. Now I'm kinda freaking out about the money side.
DeathLemons
Right, because of how valuable they are. Should probs get insurance.
Shepardsweshallbe
Yeah man you just kind of figure it out nothing brings the problem solving out of you like kids
Lyndrynxxo
USED STUFF. man I saved so much money. I didn’t compromise on a car seat but the rest was either borrowed or bought used. Helps.
Id0ntg3t1t
Thanks mate, I'll be sure to go used for most stuff.
AnythingMuchShorter
As someone with two kids, the tax breaks cover a lot, and don't be ashamed to get used stuff (changing table, swing, crib, stroller)
AnythingMuchShorter
Obviously hygiene and car safety related stuff should be new, but for the big furniture items it doesnt matter.
Ashokaaa
Don't you do the same? Can you really blame her?
Shepardsweshallbe
Yeah I’m sure we were both like what ok
Shepardsweshallbe
Once I woke up a little more I was ecstatic
ChoovaMonster
I appreciates you