Bonchoman
105133
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108
My Grandmother was strictly badass
LurkerOfDarkness
#21 Star Trek did this long ago, DS9: Hard Time. (4x19)
SqueakyBumTime
You mix it all up
GreatMrHoliday
I drove by a man for 3 years before realizing he was hitching and not admiring my car. I'd thumbs up back. I bet he thought I was an asshole
JollyGreenFE
N0616JC
My nose didn't feel good when I saw #1
hipshopbutcanthap
Dream personality right there.
GTimgur
#29 Uh? Any context for this?
maelgwyn
#48 So nice to see obnoxious-ass emoji getting censored. I can't be the only one who finds them distracting as hell when used improperly.
TheDogEnd
I'm going to have to start calling people a 'space slice'
ishotjfktwice
Good on Mathew...took a girl to a wedding and she got blackout before they stopped serving hors d’oeuvres..she’s yelling and grinding on me
ishotjfktwice
Dj had not finished setting up yet so no music but never say no to a dance ..she passes out after so I carry her to the car where she
ishotjfktwice
Throws up and pees herself ..get her home safe and put to bed crash on couch..next day tho was much better ..be like Mathew
eddie123456789
You put the lime in the coconut, you drank 'em bot' up!
till3005
Imagine meeting your future mother-in law for the first time with her daughter draped around your neck. Nice guy that Matthew
Bonchoman
Proud father on porch is like
buttonguy3
#9 my unlimited is cheaper than most peoples limited plans.
cyberghduck
ArchangelTitus
#3 is on the supervisor not the customer.
OrionRed
omg, that one with the guy trying to plug in his charger... had me rollin.
SuperScroatz
Fucking space slice
JarviWicker
In the days of old when men were bold, before condoms were invented. When men wore socks upon their cocks and babies were prevented.
Ancientmariner52
You put the lime in the coconut, and you drink'em both up, of course.
ItHappenedInThe20thCentury
I must've missed class that day, because none of it makes sense to me.
Bonchoman
Brother bought a coconut, he bought it for a dime His sister had another one she paid it for the lime
ItHappenedInThe20thCentury
Cheers. I now kind of remember it from Reservoir Dogs. :)
IAmDuckHammer
Who is #1?
CaptionObviously
You mix it all up. You walnut.
ReleaseTheBeeees
You throw the can away
Bonchoman
BurlapNutsack
Drank it all up. You almond.
IsTheTitleOfMySexTape
Holy shit is that the next line??!? My brother taught me that it was "throw the dog away"
MandatoryBiscuitDivision
You drink them both together
aznanimality
Why is no one talking about the guy who apparently just apparently ordered an UberThot?
azizlight2
I know right. Where do I order one
ElbowDeepInAPoliceState
Which one is that?
ShitWasLitFam
where the dude walks up to the door with the passed out chick on his shoulder
surelyoneoftheseusernamesisavailable
The guy taking the out-of-it girl back to her home safely? He was being a good person.
AlcoholicsAnonymousBYO
What was the deal with the bit on the phone .. did that unlock the door or something?
MikeofLA
Looks like he was talking to the chicks mom/roommate
Thornaxe
He’s a beast. She doesn’t look.....light....and he’s walking like he’s carrying nothing.
2ti6x
when you snore you're not having a lovely sleep. you're literally struggling to breathe.
Iruwen
BusinessOfCatsnakes
I'd rather have a bad sleep than no sleep
UnknownVD
People still brag about things that aren't lovely as if in fact they were indeed lovely. "LOOK HOW CALM AND QUIET I AM! LOOK, DAMMIT!"
fuckstick9000
Still doing better than the person who's been woken up for five miLLIONTH. FUCKING. TIME. TONIGHT. YOU CHAINSAW REVVING-SOUNDING BASTARD.
whyaretherenogoodones
LoadedBakedPotatoes
#1 is wife material. I have spoken.
sfcorax
Buller?
Bonchoman
Anyone? Anyone?
karlostroski
I had an ‘05 KIA that lasted over 200,000 miles. Good stuff. But I agree with the note about ordering in bad weather.
skott69
+1 only because Ferris Bueller
ShouldWeTellHim
+1 for shared interest, internet stranger.
skott69
Thank you so much this made my morning!!
Volimar
Okay, just so we're clear, you're allowed to leave the volume on multiples of five as well. 1, 3, 7, and 9 are right out.
Laxbun
Facts.
ilikedogsandhockey
How do you feel about leaving the volume on prime numbers?
MumenRiderClassBadassRank1
Now hear me out.. What if the numbers combine to 10? 37. 3+7=10. Right?
Thornaxe
ShouldWeTellHim
+1 for Ferris Bueller
skott69
Sorry internet stranger i didn't see your post.
FuriousBueller
Bonchoman
Kumonryu42
I just watched that movie last night, weird.
shaftofbread
came here to say this. +1 for you, too!
VikingYetiChef
The ferrari is coming up on auction soon
Bonchoman
I would double check the mileage on that one..
ShouldWeTellHim
Expected to go for over $400K! I got $20. You want to split it?
Bonchoman
"Some repairs needed"
LordPaimon
Ok... I need info now. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WITH PAULA AND MATTHEW... and who’s the girl draped around his neck. Please I need to know
Bonchoman
I believe it was not her first rodeo
spiffylookingnerfherder
I seriously hope he was dropping that young lady home to be looked after by her parents or housemates.
Bonchoman
It was apparently him dropping her off at her parents house, meeting them for first time
spiffylookingnerfherder
Right on. Glad he was being a good dude.