itcouldhappentoyou
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Jul 20, 2026 3:19 PM
itcouldhappentoyou
18405
288
11
emu314159127001
They make slow close lids
RElGNMAN
I want toilet seats that sigh like the doors on the Heart of Gold (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy).
IronCore
New apartment. Old one had slow close lids. New one does not. First month or so there were a lot of slams.
Dimension09
Show that shit who is boss
NoneOfYoBiseniss
I smashed a gnat on the wall that got in through the ceiling vent yesterday and the thing came flying down while I was pissing! Lol
PunnyTiger
how many toilets do you have?
itcouldhappentoyou
This is a big topic of concern on Reddit for this post. People are getting very weird about it. I’ll answer you because you weren’t weird about it. Our house has 3 toilets.
PunnyTiger
I ask because 3 is a weirdly small number to say "all, except one". If you have a bigger house it makes sense to have many bathrooms; I was assumming like a 6 bedroom house with several full baths and a couple half baths near the doors
itcouldhappentoyou
That’s fair! I told Reddit I live in a warehouse full of toilets and I choose a different one each day
RetainedRecovery
Nice
9z2nf02h
How many toilets do you have?!
cosonfused
At least 3, by the sound of the slamming lids.
cousteau
I like the way this artist draws feet.
wkearney99
our kid using a hotel toilet without the soft close shouted "THE TOILET IS BROKEN!" when it slammed shut. I had visions of the porcelain being busted by how much noise it made.
l3ikes
Same thing happened to us. My kid came out of the hotel bathroom and said “the hydraulics on their toilet lid is broken!”
NoneOfYoBiseniss
I have considered adding neodymium magnets to the seats and backstop tank.
PostHartmann
We have soft close. Wife went to her sister's house. They don't. Chaos ensued.
revoltingdeceased
Same. I do it all the time late at night too. So damn loud.
Aimlockbelch
Omg. Same here and I forget. I always slam the lid in the basement
bamblebimble
Oh man, this is me any time I use a toilet with a lid outside my house. I got slow close lids the second I learned about them and both the toilets have them. Such an amazing thing to have
MikuJess
I recently had my toilet replaced, it has one of these. I have been SO tempted to open the damn thing up and figure out how to "fix" it. In the past I might not have cared so much but I am so sick of household items having an attitude. My AC unit does not need wi-fi access, my desk fan does not need bluetooth access to my phone, my phone should not be chastising me for spending five more minutes on it this week compared to last week, and my toilet seat will FUCKING CLOSE WHEN I SAY IT DOES!!!
Shoutrr
i have a self opening trash bin in my kitchen. You hover over it and it opens on its own. And it did something to our brain, because for everyone in the house, having this type of automatic bin makes all the trash bin in the universe "automatic". So we wave above the lid of any bin we need to use and wait for it to open, then grunt and open it manually.
Sharkuu
had it the other way around. always reaching for the lid to open it, but that fucker opened itself and laughed at me touching all the trash again...
NKato
Just like automatic trunk lids. Sometimes a kid will think my Crown Vic has an automatic trunk lid...
fartyandbloated
I have a motion sensor for my bathroom lights. Two of the bars near my house do as well but the third is old school. I walk into their bathroom and just kind of stand there for a few seconds before I remember I have to use the switch. It’s weird.
CapablePlatypus
My kitchen sink is a tap on any part of the neck to turn on.
I look like an idiot slapping other kitchen sinks and I hate it.
novemberdobby
ByThePowerOfSCIENCE
Coltaine
I had one of those too, after depositing trash on the lid of every other trashbin in the universe I gave it to someone I don't particularly like.
CaptainYesterday
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1ajdvc2VmOHZuaGNjMzIwYXpyajI5Zmx3dmI1OTBmM3E0cWRqOWdheiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/jr0VZIBH5dKDe/200w.webp
hiyesthisissatan
I Iaughed at you but then I remembered that I swiped my finger across my actually physical credit card so I could see the cvc security code on the back while reading the details to pay a bill over the phone.
itcouldhappentoyou
We’re both a little bit dumb
CaptainYesterday
Phone, tablet both touch screen. Sometimes I find myself at the PC which is definetly not a touch screen... attempting to touch instead of click. I will literally take my hand off the mouse, and raise it to the screen and poke it....
Shoutrr
i have a chromebook with a touchscreen (using it to type this rn), that means the first laptop i use after using my chromebook also has a touchscreen, whether it likes it or not
ToenailClippingsJar
I’m the reverse when it comes to screens other than phone/tablet.
I have a worklaptop with a touchscreeb and I am so *anal* about fingerprints on the screen that I just don’t ever go near it and will yell at people trying to touch my screen.
I’m also always wiping my phonescreen.
CaptainYesterday
https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1aGI4eXdvcjNheDJ5YTlzdWo2a2dnZzZ3azU0bGN5dWU2cXdiZ2U1MSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/DkaZuJGcwwN32/200w.webp
foreverinchains
I've seen people reading a magazine try to zoom in on a picture.
itcouldhappentoyou
Oh my god I try to swipe on things all the time it’s so embarrassing cause it’s always in public
BarryTheCyborg
On the other side, for some reason my last work laptop had a touchscreen, and my coworkers and I would keep clicking on things when we would be pointing out something on the screen.
itcouldhappentoyou
It’s Pavlov and we are all dogs
terajack2048
We were at a friends house and my wife just shouts out a question to alexia, They don’t have an alexia.
CrisprCAS
That story rings a bell
Botticelliii
I'm drooling over here.
an0therthr0waway
yep. More than one night I have come home from work and tried to swipe my card instead of putting the key in the lock.
nero4ty2
All of our doors have automatic locks that use geotagging, my kids will occasionally lock the door handle and I’ve literally called my family to open the door for me, my wife had to remind me that keys exist and were in my pocket
CarInAVet
I've tried to use my car key fob to open my front door at least twice.
battousai124
So get one, and install it...
VodkaReindeer
[Little boys disliked that]
LordKitchenersValet
I...never close the lid. ...but I got used to the soft-close seats when I was younger, and have had this happen at around 1am more than once and it ruins sleep. >_<
LordKitchenersValet
Nowadays I'm not younger, so I always sit down. It's not (just) because my legs and knees and brain are tired and can use a break, but also because sometimes my body hasn't communicated exactly how much drainage it needs to do, and it's better to give it a chance no matter what. And also the taking-a-break thing. I love my bidet.
CarInAVet
Always close the lid before you flush!
LordKitchenersValet
This is wisdom. But I have already courtesy flushed while sitting, so by the time I get up I don't need to flush any more.
Sometimes I read a whole 'nother chapter and then go again and flush again. It's *efficient!*
PhailRaptor
To expand on this... The flush of a standard toilet causes a literally hurricane to spew straight up out of the toilet, all of it comprised of the now dirty water from the bowl. Studies have shown that it gets everywhere if the lid is open -- all over the mirror, the towels, your toothbrush, your hairbrush... anything within a few feet. In other words, if you aren't closing the lid on your toilet, you're brushing your teeth with used toilet water.