LordoftheHildago
24508
465
5
Jun 12, 2025 3:31 AM
LordoftheHildago
24508
465
5
EDoPur
Sounds like a really good way for people to peal their skin off.
CogentMoment
Concussions everywhere https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1Mjh5a2FiaG05ZXFnM2NhNHFjaDVwYWFjZTg0MXlzMzdsZGNhc253bCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/YgB4VACCbKlvG/200w.webp
invisiblemaniac
"I tame them."
Unfortunate500
Would have been weird if their first Virginia location was in Columbus.
brianbrian4566
Why can't the fish part be on the top and human part be on the bottom
UnpinionedPoplars
I hope I get a cordless hammer for Father's Day.
Zoldjah
I hope they serve vegan water in their facilities!
SebastianCrab
To be fair, I looked at the picture before reading the headline and thought, "water slides!" So, maybe they wanted it to be obvious that they weren't what they looked like?
Xenarion
My thoughts exactly. Just "slides" may have caused people to assume it's water slides.
Dogstar23
Oh Mr fry! You do go on.
chackstar
So, slides?
Someshithead241
Now I'm just thinking about Frank going down the Thunder gun Express.
captainmojojojo
Like how I always have to order "unsweetened" iced tea.
linexnewt
*waterfewer slides.
poorwegian
When you get paid by the word
BurningVeryImportantThings
Why would I use only a few words when I have the entire English lexicon at my disposal to facilitate an adequate representation of my thoughts?
trancek
Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?
AreWeNotDoingPhrasingNow
Sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen
Apeofdeath
realGeorgelucas
A fire. At a SeaParks?
Default87
obligatory Mitch Hedberg joke: https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=QkljwY84HyI
Millstone85
Every slide comes with an estimated 9% chance to end up in the Backrooms.
WhitePoetWarlord
Napoleon disapproves
Hoiloidl
He didn't get to try those, poor sod. He'll always have Waterloo with no comparison.
invisiblemaniac
But... if the slides are waterless.... why are the kids in their trunks?
Munchman347
Because of the sign at the door, 'Republican lawmakers have decreed that all cute boys must wear tight swim trunks, oh, and be photographed, for 'security' reasons!'... /s?
Renza0
nobody said the slides were dry, just that it was waterless
FukcTedCruz
Listen, I swear the kids were in the trunk before I rented the car
HillOfBeans
L34TSP3k8888
Right about now I wish I had Burt’s prepping skills. Need. More. Ammo.
thesmelge
Isn't Ohio a Red state? Because there's your answer.
ChareAndFlaff
Most of the cities are quite blue, but the countryside is pure red. When I lived there they were single-issue anti-abortion voters, now who knows what sort of MAGA nonsense they're smoking.
adrianontherocks
Because the first news article just called then slides so naturally everyone thought there was water. So they all showed up in swimwear and this picture of them being sad was taken and used for a new article that they knew would be made fun of because of the ‘unnecessary’ inclusion of the word waterless that was, in fact, necessary.
No this is not true, I’m just being weird.
ItHappenedInThe20thCentury
good on you, you *should* be weird
adrianontherocks
Haha thank you