Taking things literally

Sep 9, 2016 4:08 PM

imaginedear

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409041

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29478

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233

I think it is the cream that makes this recipe.

I want to make these, reading all the comments, I'm now super confused: do u use 1 cup of cream, or does "cream" refer to the baking method?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Nice repost, havent seen it in a while.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yoink! Thanks lady may you rest easy

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I love your mom for the recipe and I love your family for putting this headstone up. This is brilliant!

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

How long to you bake them for?

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I'd say 10 to 12 minutes, brown on bottom

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Hmm funny I guess you and 20 other people on here have the same dead grandma weird????

10 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 2

Her cookies are to die for.

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Fake. The real one is a fudge recipe. Didn't even change the story.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Fuck oleo

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I learned to cook from both my Grandmother and my Mother. One of the best days in my life was watching both teach my daughter to cook.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Ha your mom

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

http://tosh.cc.com/blog/files/2016/05/janetboobs.jpg

10 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 0

Obviously fake, but still funny.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Obviously?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hahaha, awesome.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Is this really your mom's recipe OP?

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

And all my mother taught me was how to shoot whiskey. And her dad taught me how to make a martini. Not the best lessons for a 9 year old

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You die twice. First when you stop breathing, second when your name is spoken for the last time. Your mom will live on in cookies forever.

10 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 0

Thankfully I have a common name, so I will never die ;)

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Wow.. I don't know why I find that so terrifying, but so sweet that grandma will live on!

10 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Don't worry, your energy will literally live on forever :)

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thanks for that : )

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I bet shes sooooo pissed.

10 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 1

probably rolling in her grave

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I'll happily chill and roll out with some flour :)

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Whelp, I'm going to have to try this now.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Favourited to make soon...hope she doesn't haunt me.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Wait do I add an extra cup of cream or do I replace something with cream?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

So...basic cookies, then?

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

How long at 350, though?

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I suspect that the frosting recipe is one of the keys too

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

So I'm a useless bachelor, what does it mean when it says "Add alternatively w/ 1 cup cream"?

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

If it doesn't mean add cream, my guess is add 1 c. at a time of flour, then continue creaming batter?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Wtf is oleo?

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Cream (Creaming Method) is not actual cream if anybody is wondering. It's mixing sugar and a fat (butter, oleo/Margarine, lard) together.

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Omg thank you! It was slightly driving me nuts how everyone thought there was actual cream involved!

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ya, not sure if they're using the cookbook shorthand or....just culinary illiterate.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I mean, further down it seems to read as adding actual cream (dairy product) rather then the method which is mentioned at the beginning?

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

PEOPLE DIED TO GET THIS RECIPE

10 years ago | Likes 56 Dislikes 2

well, Bothans. They're not *really* people.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Give*

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Only 1 had to die.

10 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 2

People are dying to get into the cemetery though.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Found the dad.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

But who did she kill to get it from

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Nobody because this is her recipe.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

Well, technically this is our recipe now.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Any recipe old enough to use the word "oleo" usually turns out to be a keeper.

10 years ago | Likes 617 Dislikes 4

.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This is the first time I've seen it outside of a crossword puzzle.

10 years ago | Likes 43 Dislikes 0

Right?!

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I thought they misspelled oreo first.

10 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 0

datswaicist.gif

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

I was raised by my grandparents. It wasn't until college that I learned not everyone knows the word oleo.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Oleo used to be white and you added (food) coloring to it which came in a separate tube. BTW, it was illegal in Wisconsin, the Dairy State.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

There is no way I'm eating margarin. I researched it and it's poison.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Keep seeing Oleo and hearing O-Weoh-Weoh like Jungle Love... http://imgur.com/Uzshrgy

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

THA MUTHAFUCKING TIME!

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I think I wanna know ya, know ya...

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

It's just Margarine. I'll pass.

10 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 22

Haha! RIP.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

I would too but I would just replace with sweet cream butter!

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 2

Whoosh

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 2

For anyone else as confused as me: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oleo

10 years ago | Likes 90 Dislikes 0

Read: "the government took our lard for machining in the 30s and we forgot what to do"

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You da real. MVP

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Thank you :)

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Wow, soo good it has a curitain drop. That's a pretty cash money recipe for sure.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

TLDR, old term for margarine]

10 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 0

Thanks.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Thank you :)

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

So which one of these oleos do I use?

10 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 1

Oleo strut will also do

10 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Margarine, but I'm guessing you can use unsalted butter

10 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

Crisco? What If I used Ghee?

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

What does a song by Sonny Rollins have to do with making cookies?

10 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 1

Underrated comment

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Oleomargarine Is a type of butter you dunce

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 12

Well shit, nothing gets past you, does it?

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

No. I will catch it.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 6

No it isn't, "you dunce" It's margarine. And his/her comment went over your head anyway.

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

But why would you put a shock absorber for aircraft landing gear in cookies?

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

It gave them an unexpected taste so they were a truly special experience

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

For that smooth taste.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Cookies needed more brrrrrrrttttt

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

....this is just my chocolate chip cookie recipe with out the butter and chocolate chips.

10 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 4

Do you brown the butter? I love brown butter in cookies.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

But an essential step to cookies is creaming the butter and sugar so you brown it then harden it again to be creamed?

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

So to answer my question yes, you do. That's impressive actually I'll have to try it.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ooohhh I'm so trying that

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

They used oleo instead of butter. Used to be done all the time, now we're circling back to butter.

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Margarine makes for greasy cookies.

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I agree. Butter is so much better. And the Trans fat in margine actually makes it worse for you.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

And sadness. Because butter is delicious.

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

For some reason, this makes me smile. I guess because it reminds me of my grandma. She and my great grandmothers taught me how to cook.

10 years ago | Likes 1089 Dislikes 7

Same here. I was chef for 9 years. My G-ma and mom taught me how to cook. My sister has my moms cook book passed down 5 generations.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

heh, it started out that way with my grandma, but now I'm teaching her :)

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Everyone says "Blood is thicker than water." But the actual quote is; "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." 1/

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 3

Family is something that is thrust upon us at birth. The friends we make are choices and the bonds can be better and stronger.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 3

Oh, is that so? Tell me more.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You had a great grandmother? Even my grandmother died before I was born

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I had 2 great grandmothers! They both lived well into their late 90's. One was from germany. I got to learn a lot from them before they died

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Nice to see men cooking

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

True that. My dad was the best cook outta my friends dad's and even my mom. She's a great cook, but not so much anymore.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I agree. It is awesome when men can and do cook. I however, don't have any man parts.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Just doing my part to dispel stereotypes . . .

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I get envious every time I see a comment like this. I didn't get to grow up with grandparents. And my mom has decided to abandon the family.

10 years ago | Likes 159 Dislikes 4

Do this for your kids when or if you have any. change the history your family has put on your childhood. Or whoever put what ever... anyways

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Growing up with no family is why me and my sister are super close and raise our kids super close.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My grandma screamed at me all the time and constantly ridiculed me :(

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This brought tears to my eyes. I'm sorry you didn't get to spend time with your grandparents. I'm sure they loved you regardless.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm sorry :/ I lost all of my grandparents between ages 6 and 8. i always felt jelous of "whole" families. now my life goal 1/2

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

is to raise my kids well like my parents and let them have the love and support of their grandparents. I'm sorry about your mom :( 2/2

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

You have an excellent life goal and I wish you all the awesome luck you can handle, with it and everything else!

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

lol you are very nice thanks!

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'll be your mom, I make a crap ton of cookies at Christmas and never eat them all.

10 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

I do what affectionately known as "anger baking". When I'm pissed off I bake mass quantities and feed my whole street. They love me lol

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I come with 2 children and 2 dogs so the cookies would never be wasted.

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

It's a little early for me for grandchildren, but I'll adapt. You'll also have an infant brother and a dad, who's really good at dad jokes.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

So what are you saying? I could be your mom LOL

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

If she had the heart to abandon you, think what life would be like if she'd stayed. An awful parent present may have been worse. Js

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I hated her for years before she left. I just get upset/jealous over the fact that other ppl have huge loving families.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Sorry about that, I hope you find wholeness in a family of your own one day:)

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Not every 'whole' family is loving. Find the things that were good in your life. I work on finding the good in things every day.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My family is huge but my grandmother has everyone manipulated to the extremes. She constantly screamed at me and berated me as a kid too. :/

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Don't be jealous. There were a lot of sad times in there too. I lost my parents when I was very young, violently. Find the good in your life

10 years ago | Likes 89 Dislikes 1

You seem like the friend a lot of people need and are waiting for

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

I'm sorry to hear that, but at least you have a frickin cat ass trophy right?

10 years ago | Likes 61 Dislikes 0

Indeed!

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

i like you

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

But you killed pops... He was a good father!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0