StreaksOnTheChinaNeverMatteredBefore
93787
1555
13
Jan 26, 2022 8:01 PM
StreaksOnTheChinaNeverMatteredBefore
93787
1555
13
3rdoption
Basically that means it's your own fault.
wlfman
What does Oklahoma PD have to say about bears?
AlrightlyThen
Same thing with beatiful woman
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FeminineBeeOnslaught
Pro fix: domesticate bears
Starfury42
Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor?
Carrconstruction
It is an animal. It will only bother you when YOU bother it. Respect nature.
shutdafuccup
Oh, my sweet summer child
ispentwaytoolongthinkingaboutthis
MCNewYorkLives
Is it me, or does it kinda resemble a kangaroo?
georgewhitehurst9731415
Bears are not teddy bears
Katlover12
I agree. That would be a way worth dying ?♀️
Bizzlesnatch
Like men.
NotAHugeSpider
My cats are adorable too, but I know they are just waiting to trip me to my death or topple a vase/TV onto my head.
morbida
If murderous why friend shaped
BecauseImSparklesBitch
Most animals will kill you first. Not bears, they just start eating you while you’re alive.
rdswords
A little more complicated once the fluff is taken out of the equation
Mansoor68729
They don't just kill, but they kill in most horrendous way possible. They eat their prey bit by bit while the prey is alive.
bucks129910
I expected something different from the title
Hashbrown123
0Banacek0
Have you ever seen a bear without hair?
Hashbrown123
It was a bald headed bare assed bear.
FeloniousMonk13
it's a scientific fact that if u give a bear a cookie, he will then become your friend, and you can go on fun adventures together.
EroticZombiePants
Bears aren't normally aggressive to humans though, just when cubs are near or when you piss them off.
FiftyShadesOfTiramisu
Depends on the species.
v
labDedalus
Immakingitweird
PlaceHolderTitle
Tredicidodici
Apex predator who can smell you from miles don’t need to heat you coming
VirtualNaut
They got all that fur though
Androidstar69
Looks like a Berens-taint Bear
dougherd6
Bering Strait Bear’n’ taint bear
Hammertulski
It's named after the authors, Stan and Jan Berenstaint.
Lassannn
If it climbs the tree after you, it's ablack bear. If it knocks the tree down, it's a grizzly bear. 1/2
Lassannn
And if you can't find a tree, it's probably a polar bear.
SuicidalThrillbillyturnedLunaticChillbilly
You can find a different kind at The Blue Lobster.
Radix865
And if it falls off the tree, it's a Panda.
k5user
yeah, makes you look at its balls first, prolly tea-bags you too, before killing you..
RickityBobbity
Just like that one did to The Machine.
Isexualiseeverything
It's cute that you think bears will go out of their way to "kill you" before consuming you.
gfuld018888
Go for the balls! Do what ever it takes…. Cradle, fondle, flick…survive!
JanieKSmith
JanieKSmith
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JanieKSmith
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justplainvanilla
idrinkcheapbeer
this is why a high caliber revolver strapped to the chest is almost standard issue to people that frequent brown bear land.
JohnnyWalkerTexas
Meanwhile the scandis loll about in our woods with a 3 cm mushroom knife or lingonberry scooper as protection.
KingOFrod
Make sure to file off the sight so it doesn't hurt when the bear shoves it up your ass.
idrinkcheapbeer
lol
M4Firefly
Why the chest specifically?
idrinkcheapbeer
fair question. if you are attacked by a predator, most likely you will be put on your back and your chest is easy to access.
kettleblack
When I flew to Montana from TX I brought my tracker .44. Not going out like a spicy chicken.
idrinkcheapbeer
I have a SW 629. I feel like I could put down Smaug with that thing if I needed to.
kettleblack
Now there's the real deal!
idrinkcheapbeer
I'm an avid fisherman. Somewhat less a hunter. I spend time in Alaska, zero chance I want to be taken down by a brown bear.
quade
I will most likely die attempting to pet something that aught not be petted.
ATerribleArtist
That's what the girl who found those monkeys from that truck a few days ago did. She thought they were cats, and even after learning they/
ATerribleArtist
Weren't, she still attempted to pet them. Now she says she is feeling ill.
darkwish3
you human you
DeltaLaw
I believe that's called a Bronteroc
eloquince
Ought* not to be, Mr. President.
Lassannn
ought
quade
FUCK YOU LASSANNN! Also, thank you. Yes, should be ought.
AnApologeticCanadian
If you see an Alaskan Kodiak in real life I promise you'll shit yourself to death before it kills you.
thekreat
Probably worth it anyway.
YpsilantiRomani
But they are so soft, especially the Cubs
SavagePatchKids
theinternetkeepsmealive
That's not a bad way to go
ThinkThisOut
Yeah, my wife is off limits bucko
Yellowchopsticks
I also choose this guy's wife.
DemonFluffer1000
Dude married a bear.
quade
Sure, gotcha.
jamclassic
I’ve struggled with this. Isn’t the saying Gotchya? What did you catch?
drunkbs
It means that you got his understanding/meaning.
quade
Do you get what I am saying?
Kirlanan
I also chose this guy's wife.
ThinkThisOut
I get the good life with the good wife. This is the way
Tr1gg3rH4ppy
I choose this guy's mom.
ThinkThisOut
The Alzheimer’s is pretty severe so don’t feel bad if you aren’t memorable