notyouraveragekatie
128506
1929
64
Not everyone has the trunk space or gas money to drive way out in the middle of nowhere to dump their bodies.
All of these all the time all at once
Great now I’m just sittin’ here thinkin’ about lickin’
The story of my life
Doggo tax! She’s very cozy
KittensWonderment
… is that where hugh comes from?
Zaphiston
Quality content!
TanithRosenbaum
#39 I'm pretty sure some people (mistakenly) use quotation marks to express emphasis, like underlining something.
GamiCross
#16 Its because of all the random things you put in your mouth as a baby still exist in your mind as sensory data.
drinkthederpentine
#10 listen to metal and no one played, plays, or will play your jams. Ever!
OhIfIMust
"...may not available."
BeanTootsAreBest
#10 Me in my 40s, this waiting room is playing my jams
KitchenComandante
#34 They should have used the gender swap photo so it would be LegoLass.........I already know the way out.
SlightlyDodgy
#10 me in my 80's this elevator has my jazz
servingmytimeinusersub
#1 a pun is not synonymous for every play on words.
gregthewalrus
#22
Chronomechanist
#39 the "clunk" is correct as it denotes the noise made by the elevator. Without it, you must beware the noun clunk, a big robot in the lift
scabbydog666
I really "liked" these
pewterpenguin
#16 it's because as a toddler, your tongue touched so many textures you just remember
ImAnActionBirb
#49 In Italian, “Matthew” is “Mateo” and they shorten it to “Teo,” so basically “Hew.” You’re welcome.
clairebear21
And in English people are called Hugh or Hughie all the time. That's the short for it too.
Chronomechanist
#35 when does this adult super vision kick in? I've been getting older every year but my vision keeps getting steadily worse.
philovirus
Japan absolutely gets Christmas to a T.
Evergrey
That's when you go have Kentucky Fried Chicken!
GravyEducation
KFC! KFC!
squirrelfartsy
Nailed it.
Eldibs
#39 We used to have a massage therapy place in my town with a sign advertising "Foot" Massages.
NauseousPanda
#50
Weronoop
#8 at 43 as well...
InfOracle
Hahahah Almost 45. Same.
pewterpenguin
#5 I once checked and found I needed to use a different stall, but I didn't warn the next person to enter that stall having to hand him....
pewterpenguin
Tp from my roll when he realized was my penance for not interacting in the first place
EdoubleLIOdoubleT
I'm just now realizing #16 isn't Snape being surprised... he's being murdered
BassoMatic76
Excellent dump sir or madam.
ScarecrowSticks
KitchenComandante
I'd take a small scratch/bite from a cat any day over the insane neediness and temperament of dogs
TanithRosenbaum
Huskies are a bit of an exception to the rule there. They're known to be exceptionally headstrong and very loud. Other dogs aren't like that
KitchenComandante
I'm giving you the +1 since you are technically correct (Futurama.gif), but I will always love my murder fluffs!
TanithRosenbaum
Okay not *all* other dogs are like that. (I assume that's what you meant) :)
sophievic
I can hear whichever one I look at. I love it. Thanks.
ScarecrowSticks
Welc
Evergrey
This is why I love them- at other people's houses.
merelyadequategooglymoogly
#5 If I'm contemplating using a National Park Service toilet, I'm probably already committed.
PiscinadeIaMuerte
Nominated for a Nobel prize in literature but forgets the word “be”
JimboTCB
"Things are now in motion that cannot be undone..."
28dayslaterwasawarning
'The avalanche has already started, it is too late for the poobles to vote' - Ambassador Kosh
Broadway2
#3 should that read 129 B.C. for this?
GravyEducation
Wanderers1000
I have done the research, and the research says: "No."
jackwagon311
johnzaku
It should not. Since 131 years “Before Christ“is older than 130 years before
Broadway2
Yes and isn’t the joke “bridge is made so toss me off of it” or is it a LOTR reference I’m not getting?
johnzaku
Lol no, it’s saying that before bridges, you had to be thrown across a gap :p
Broadway2
Ah thank you. Was looking at it the wrong way
stupidlystupendous
#10 40: I have exactly twelve jams that I acquired between 1997 and 2007 and that I listen to on repeat
GravyEducation
What does the raspberry one say?
stupidlystupendous
I'm not allowed to say
OnePostCloserToAHappierLIfe
"Bend down and suck it already."
mizzamir
I was working part time in a five-and-dime