kajiggerful3000
17640
270
25
Aug 17, 2026 7:45 PM
kajiggerful3000
17640
270
25
CedricDur
I usually just change sidewalks when walking behind a woman.
C141Clay
wardeward
You should walk like this. https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1NDJ6b3U0ZDliNDJwM2l3ZWltNzJpMnU2OWcwdDNicDg0cnI2eWFyMyZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/qcgtyllMthBL2/200w.webp
Exyr
I personally cross the street.
Twinklepot
I would cross over the road and take out my phone and pretend to have a chat with a mate or my mother. Better still, I would actually ring someone. Hearing a normal chatty conversation would help a lone walker (female or male) to come down a notch from high alert.
UndulatingTerrain
Frolic and giggle
ayavaska
Shoutrr
i run after them, faster and faster, and when they start running i accelerate, and when i overcome them, i yell "i win", and i continue running
abtei
He's following you, about 30 feet back
He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint
He's gaining on you
turkizno
"Making my way downtown, walking fast- he also walks fast, so I'm walking faster - he walks faster too so I'm, running now, he comes up and says "on your left", TANANANANANA~"
salunatics
If I can't speed up to pass or slow down (both are rare), I'll at least walk diagonally behind so they can see me in the periphery and it adds a little more separation.
Gaelig
mmmmm... no we hate having a guy in our blind spot. you'd better cross the street.
digitreal
Dress like a bear.
duktayp
Woman was walking 3 mph, I was walking 4 mph + slowly catching up to her, so I started a jog and said "here, imma jump on ahead of you🙂" while making a wide berth around = end of story ..... On another occasion, woman was slowly catching up to me, so I "stopped to check my phone", and let her get 50 feet ahead
ChelVanin
If you look like you are trying to fake non threatening body language, that would make me even more freaked out.
HamSlamwich
If I (a male) find myself immediately walking behind a person in a dark or isolated area, I usually just stop and look down at my phone for a minute or so. If they look back the light on my phone shows them I'm stopped and not watching them.
Then that one part of my brain says "man you're pretending to look at your phone so that person feels at ease, that's stalker behavior"
So then I very closely inspect a wall or some shit. Idk.
Bojovnik84
I just dont walk, problem solved!
beerkrump
Get on all fours and start making bear noises. I hear women dig that.
RaziGrey
Unpopular opinion it would seem. Mind your own buisness. If you are just walking, minding your own business then what other people think flatly doesn't matter. Your activity isnt illegal immoral or improper.
iRecommendBooks
That's what I've landed on. I've got hearing loss, so my head's on a swivel because I can't tell where sounds are coming from. Cars, footsteps, dogs, indiscernible sounds.
There's women out there who don't like it, cause it means I'm looking around and invariably, at some point, right at them. That's not my problem - I'm just trying to be safe myself. When I've talked about it with women (friends), I've been told, "Well, it's a weird thing to do" and very seldom "That sucks".
Guess I'm jaded.
iRecommendBooks
Gotta say, it *is* a weird thing to do. Most people can tell the general shape of the world by listening to it, but I can't.
I don't talk with people about it anymore, really. This is the first time in a decade, because it really blows being perceived as a creep because I'm always looking over my shoulder, and it really really blows being told "Guess that's just your fate" instead of just acknowledging that it's a tough position to be in.
ATLandNerdy
This is how you get mace in your face.
Alvatore
Macing someone who isn't attacking you is how you get charged with assault and battery and end up spending some time in jail. The judge isn't going to care whether you're a woman; it's straight-up illegal to use mace against someone who's not actively trying to harm you. Unless you're a cop. Then everything is legal.
ATLandNerdy
That sounds good, until you have a scared woman insisting you were stalking her, then it's He-said, She-said, then you get a jury with women that have been in her situation and it doesn't seem so unreasonable. Or you could turn left.
PupuBlue
I think this is the correct answer. Because that's really what I am also hoping for, that you're there on your business that has nothing to do with me. Performing some kind of elaborate theater around me does not help. Do your thing, let me do mine, we're all good.
johnblood616
Women are fearful because they get attacked all the time.
You: I dont care. Mind your own business.
ChiLLeCheeze
Cop: Okay, but what if they're black?
JohnSmithterms
Apathy. Typical american got mine mentality. Fuck you.
BigFuckOffAnvil64
Some dudes have said this to me while I was alone on some trails with dogs and it did help. Them acknowledging the situation made it seem like they were thinking of me and my safety, and that they thought of how I could feel. Man following woman on a trail.
' not following! Just going the same way '
' would you like me to get past you so im not following? '
When she turns to look do a casual 'hey', staying silent and awkward amps up the stress.
' Im a koala bear ' (choose the bear)
AgamemnonsMemes
You should speed up so you can get close enough to tell her you're not a threat without yelling, also you should tell her to slow down, but run if you have to (obligatory /s)
SoGrosslyIncandescent
Take a page from the book of our friend Pyramid Head. Drag a huge, cumbersome sword behind you while reaching out towards her to clearly demonstrate that you cannot reach her because of the heavy burden you are carrying and she is perfectly safe to walk at a normal pace.
AlexisSanister
Put on your best New York accent and loudly (but not yelling) say "I'm walkin 'ere" in an annoyed tone
DarthAndy
You might not be a threat, but statistically as a man... you are. So:
Do not overtake. Do not call out to her. Do cross to the other side of the road if you can.
dmbpapa
I’m pleased to see that a lot of men understand why a woman in this situation might be uncomfortable. Also not surprised that a couple of losers/idiots want downvotes. I usually just stop and give them space. The suggestion to audibly phone mom or another female is great. Thank you!
NorwegianSheepknuller
Wear a "not a rapist" shirt and it'll be fine
doctorId
My "Not involved in human trafficking" shirt is eliciting a lot of questions that I feel are already answered by the shirt
NM156
I was walking home with friends onenigh in New Orleans and a meth head followed us shouting, "I want to help you." Still felt like a threat
Anfalicious
Sounds like some Christian bullshit
duktayp
LET ME HELP U https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExam95cTF4NWtlZ3RocDZvdmMwYmtsNGR2dGlsNDN2N2xuaHc3NWZhcCZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/U2LKAhNrqCBUc/giphy.gif
AnimalRescueGuy
The dogs just bite me. I never take it personally.
NotSinceTheAccidend
That was a threat.
SecurityBadger
Pass her, so now she's following you.
anarchoFeline
well don't do what one guy did to me. i stopped to let him pass because it was night time and i didn't want a strange man waking behind me. he got very upset that i didn't trust him to be behind and then went to demonstrated why i was right by starting to yell transphobic and homophobic slurs at me and then, presumably as a threat, said "we have second amendment rights in this country"
so i don't know what you should do but definitely don't do that.
leviaton
Thanks. That would help me a lot honestly. Canadian here. But I do a wave, nice wide jog around, maybe adjust the ol earbuds so you can see that... But that's honestly more so we don't have to chat a bunch. Seeing someone else at night here where I live is more a hey what's going on talk.
leviaton
Thanks. That would help me a lot honestly. Canadian here. But I do a wave, nice wide jog around, maybe adjust the ol earbuds so you can see that... But that's honestly more so we don't have to chat a bunch. Seeing someone else at night here where I live is more a hey what's going on talk.
Nobody7713
That's fucked up and you shouldn't have to deal with that. He should have, at most, just nodded to you and wished you a good evening as he passed by then kept on his way.
anarchoFeline
right? what an insane decision to have someone tell you they are worried about strange men at night and then do everything you could to prove them right.
TomBrokaw
it would have been so funny if you had shot him
leviaton
Fucking hell...
BlackStarsBlackBlood
"I know!" *BLAM*
FreeRangeToast
I just stop to find something else to do for a second (tie my shoe, look at a cloud/stars, check my phone) and then when I start walking again, just walk 10-15% slower
lolnope4433
Why is it your responsibility? Just continue on as normal and ignore them.
Ventorath
Honestly, this. I mean, if I'm on a walk I don't want to be stuck in talking distance of anyone else so I'd probably create space either way, but beyond what you'd normally do with anyone? Nah. You're allowed to walk
michiyl
Unless a whole lot changes in the societies on this planet, women will usually feel not at ease in these situations.
ImAWeirdMom
As a woman, the advice to cross the street, slow down, or stop temporarily to give her more room are all good.
Crossing the street is probably the best, though (if you can do it safely) or just turn around and backtrack if doing that is an option. Not following her is the most helpful thing.
And know it has nothing to do with you personally, and everything to do with every creep we've already met in our lives so far.
theoccultist
I'm just imagining the repercussions of backtracking only to realize that he has inadvertently headed her off at the pass.
Isthe4thtimethecharm
As a bigger bearded man. I am sorry you have to feel this way. Also sorry that I pay so little attention to others around me. That I may not notice your discomfort. But on the brightside I don't go out often after dark anymore.
lildude52ca
sooooo. treat him like he's a criminal but tell him you don't think he's a criminal.... got it.
trgc
Nice advice
I don’t normally walk at night
But I still feel the same way as the guy above
even in daylight
I’m not a threat, but something happened when I was a kid, which makes me paranoid about this
I wasn’t doing anything wrong but now it makes me real paranoid walking behind a woman
CorrectMostOfTheTime
What about you need to actually go somewhere but can’t cross the street do I angle a little off to the side pass quickly and walk in front? I feel like spewing down but still following is not better.
BananaForScaIe
Yeah, I just cross the street. If it's a sketchy neighborhood and a woman alone is coming towards me at night I'll even cross the street. One less thing for her to even worry about. Costs me *nothing*, after all.
guitar3544
If for whatever reason neither of those options are possible (not sure why they wouldn't be, but whatever). I found very obviously calling my mom and slowing my pace really works in the few times I have been the guy in this situation. My mom is pretty intuitive and would pick up on it, so a random call at 11pm wouldn't be unusual. If mom isnt possible, sister/aunt etc works equally as well.
CorrectMostOfTheTime
Well if you have somewhere you need to be and crossing isn’t possible cuz America doesn’t care about non car drivers.
lezgetfukkinreal
See then there's me if suddenly they slow down or aren't there, cross the street I get super nervous, like where the fuck did they go, are they trying to get me to put my guard down are they scoping the area from the other side. I'd almost say if you see a girl acting nervous put on the most flamboyant voice ever and say don't worry hunny I'm gay! Even if you're not. Then again I also keep my nails grown out a bit, and have my carabiner as my key chain...
lezgetfukkinreal
Not just a sapphic flag, it makes a hard knuckle really quick.
comeonjointhejoyride
F that. just keep walking
JohnThatcher
Fuck you. This is called basic human decency. The very attitude of "my convenience is more important than your safety is part of the problem.
comeonjointhejoyride
https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1MnUybW81MHcydjRwc2RmdXVwdzNkZmNrdTJuczl4dGVqcXJ0ankyZCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/3sXxyP8q2RlJoGpMn8/200w.webp
Frostedjakes
Awww, does being considerate make you feel like less of a man?
comeonjointhejoyride
Jokes on you i have no gender and im trans
RecurringNightmare
nah, human decency has nothing to do with others having weird fantasies...and their safety is never at risk, only their perceived safety...again, all in their head...i got places to be, no time to play stupid games...if me existing in the most normal way possible is perceived as a threat thats on them...
snarkybitch
As another woman I second this advice. The best thing is to just go a different way.
trgc
Thank you for the advice
Walking behind a woman even in daylight feels off
I feel like they think that I’m a creep
Don’t need that
Maybe you’ll think too much?
marquettegoldeneagles
Just finished reading the gift of fear by Gaven Becker, worth a read!
snarkybitch
I totally trust my gut instincts.
alcamar
Be mindful, if you go the same path and they're going, switch your route. Pause for a moment to "tie your shoe" and give them plenty of time to give themselves enough distance to feel comfortable.
Basically, know you aren't a stalking rapist waiting to attack, but know that you're likely viewed as such and act accordingly (be less creepy)
devasto
Yeah, this is best, I think. Find some sort of reason to put distance between you and them, @OP. It's not your fault that she's uncomfortable in that situation, but it becomes your problem to rectify when you're the source of her discomfort. And you can't change a person's mind, so the next best thing is to create space. It sucks that this is where we are as a society
astrangehop
Yes, there's nothing after footsteps behind you that's reassuring like sudden silence.
BeaverOnFire
But what if you are a stalking rapist, but one who wants his victims to feel comfortable? 🤔
irisewithredeyes
"Tie your shoe" would be very suspicious. Check your phone, like everybody else nowadays :p
chr155ter
yes because shoelaces have become obsolete with the advent of the smartphone.
CorrectMostOfTheTime
It’s more rare that someone needs to tie them i can’t render the last time i saw anyone do it while walking in public
alcamar
Sure, I'm a guy what do i know about a woman's side of things.
So check your phone for a few minutes, but like turned the other way so it doesn't look like you're taking pictures or such
DocFunkenstein
"Be less creepy, omg, everything is your fault, you monster! Stop simply existing! How dare you go for a walk at night! Only women should be allowed to do that, you creep! OMG!!!111leleven"
Jesus Christ this world needs to burn.
eetsumkaus
well the alternative is that every woman has to judge whether or not a particular guy is creepy or not. As we've learned that...is not a winning solution.
TorrentialUpPour
This kind of emotionally unstable reaction is exactly why women are scared and disgusted by you.
normalizebeingalone
Yea this kind of emoticons unstable reaction is exactly why if I ever date again it won't be men. (Fortunately I'm Bi) ive dealt with it too much at this point it's like walking in a field of land mines, I'm over it.
FallenWyvern
So you're displeased with wide generalizations being applied and so your suggestion is the world needs to.... Burn.
Also lets just pretend like just because almost every woman has been assaulted, or directly knows someone who has, just because YOU aren't a threat (the little world burner you are) that they need to be calm about it.
If you wanna burn the world, might as well kick it off yourself. Be the light you wanna see in the world!
SometimesISayHistoryStuff
You doing ok, mate? That was quite a spiral for someone asking for people to understand they can be unintentionally threatening and put in a modicum of effort to make others more comfortable.
FaeVikingPrincess
You're the reason we choose the bear.
dawnkelly3160
I can’t even! A woman go for a walk at night? Most women would never do that. Too risky. One out of three women are sexually assaulted sometime in their life .
alcamar
Fuck off with that victim bs. This has nothing to do with you directly, we are all a product of the environment and must deal with everything that comes with it. You don't walk naked outside, because there are people around you must also consider.
Be a part of society rather than thinking only about yourself.
iRecommendBooks
Eh. "Be less creepy" for someone out on a walk is nonsense. This guy's got some issues to work through, but also has a point.
Imagine telling a black man "Know that you aren't a violent criminal waiting to attack, but know that you're likely viewed as such and act accordingly (be less threatening)"
Black men *are* told that, and it wears them down. It shouldn't fall on them to go out of their way in public to manage other peoples' biases.
DocFunkenstein
No, you fuck off. YOU are the one calling this guy a creep, all because he was out walking and some rando fucking woman shows up and gets creepy because, like YOU apparently, all men are evil rapists out hunting her down. Doesn't matter that he was there first. Nothing matters. He's the evil "creepy" that needs to "stop being creepy."
Fuck that and fuck you.
SnakuPlisskin
What helps me is to consider the cost. What does it cost a guy to be treated like a threat? To be viewed as a creep? It hurts. I hate it. I want so badly to assure people that I'm not a creep. I'm safe. But, of course, any attempt to do so would only make the situation worse. It'd make me look more suspicious. That fucking sucks. To go out of my way to avoid causing discomfort that, by rights, should not be caused by my mere presence, is unfair. But let's look at the other side (1/2)
SnakuPlisskin
What is the potential cost to a woman? If she assumes I'm not a threat and I'm actually not, well it cost nothing. My precious feelings are spared. I'm vindicated. What about the next guy? The one after? You can't ask her to trust you specifically without asking her to just trust everybody by default. You're asking her to roll the dice with every guy she crosses paths with. How long until one of them is a creep? You and I don't get our feelings hurt and she pays for it by being assaulted. (2/3)
itsthevoiceman
your reading comprehension needs work.
DocFunkenstein
No, it's just fine.
He called the dude a creep for being out on a walk. End of discussion. Fuck him, and fuck you, too, if you agree.