Nothing could have prepared me for this

Feb 28, 2024 9:52 AM

maureoko

Views

39805

Likes

350

Dislikes

8

Harry Butler.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

Ladies and gentlemen, Malcolm Douglass!

2 years ago | Likes 44 Dislikes 0

v

2 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 1

What is the context lol

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

One of these makes a very nice sandwich and a purse for tourist shops.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Is that Malcolm Douglas?

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Crocodile Hunter's dad was in the business!!!

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Thought he was gonna bite him in the face.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Kangaroo Aberdeen.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Roo: "yeah that's what I thought mate"

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Wow, the muscles in shoulders. Then he has all that power from his tail and legs as well.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It's from all the dogs it's drowned/strangled.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Aussie sex is weird

2 years ago | Likes 169 Dislikes 3

This is the first comment to make me actually laugh out loud in a minute. May the Force be with you.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

something something down under. I dunno know I got nothing.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

What did you expected? You need to be prepared for your mate to be one thousand hunter spiders in a trench coat.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

An Aussie kiss is like a French kiss, but down under….

2 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Sometimes in the outback as well

2 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Since he lowered his posture first, does that make him the 'roo's bitch?

2 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 2

Better his bitch than his victim, I reckon...

2 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Yeah, they like to drag their opponents into water and hold them under.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

truly?

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Legit curious to know how much that thing could bench

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Somebody here in Oz just had their large dog drowned by a roo holding it under.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

TIL that to a kangaroo we all look like hyper aggressive assholes.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

That's actually true in general! Our body and facial language is an outlier in the animal world. In almost every species direct eye contact means either "I am watching you closely because I am worried you are about to eat me" or "I am watching you closely because I am planning to eat you", and showing teeth is a threat display. Dogs are the basically the only other creatures that are ok with that (wolves aren't) and it's because we domesticated them. So we are walking around as horrific 1/

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Yes. Although there is a high likelihood that dogs domesticated themselves rather than the other way around.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

lanky slendermen towering over everything, staring at them aggressively and showing our teeth, pointing at them. This is one of the reasons that people struggle with cats a lot of the time, some well-socialized cats are comfortable with this behavior, others are not. Change your body language to one that matches them (don't stare at them, do long slow blinks for a smile) and they are way more comfortable with you.

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Then there are cats that deman you look at them

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

How many people got broken noses before they learned to defuse a kangaroo conflict?

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Being disemboweled is a bigger risk.

2 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

I’d be more worried about the torn genitals.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I heard this in an Australian accent.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Hah yeah it does sound better that way

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Broken nose? They don't actually box, mate. Have you seen their claws and kicks? We're talking two fists full of knives, and gut-ripping spring-loaded kicks from legs powerful enough to propel a 70kg red kangaroo over a 3 metre high fence https://youtu.be/WCcLMNcWZOc

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

There's this thing about Australians and their wildlife. Half the time they're actually telling you how dangerous something is, the other half of the time they're taking the piss and trying to convince you a bunyip is real.

Being able to tell when an Aussie is serious is an art form.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

True, but in this case, watch a video of kangaroos fighting, look at the statistics of how high and far they can jump, and recontextualise those jumps as ground kicks, and learn to respect those majestic beaats

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Respecting those majestic beats

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Oh no worries, I don't need to, I've seen the fuckers in action. But I also heard the drop bear speech being told in earnest and with a straight face more than once.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's because drop bears are real.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Okay, but that sort of gaslighting is a load bearing aspect of Aussie culture. Remove that, and our own national sense of self crumbles. I don't even want to think about meeting a Seppo tourist IRL and not trying to pull something like that

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0