ScreechingMedic
151022
4291
162
#funny #current_events #news #politics
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-46042179
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/justice-department/mueller-refers-sex-assault-scheme-targeting-him-fbi-investigation-n926301https://www.thecut.com/2018/10/who-is-jacob-wohl-all-his-efforts-to-take-mueller-down.html
How could they have possible thought that this was going to work? Mueller is one of the best prosecutors in modern history, and his law enforcement career is marked by a number of high-profile cases long before he rose to the top, including the investigation of mobster John Gotti, Panamanian strongman Manuel Noriega and the 1988 Pan Am Flight 103 bombing. These two idiots honestly thought they were going to bring a man with his skill and pedigree down?
RogerTwoThree
The guys doubling down, I think he expects the Trump treatment where he spews bullshit and the cult follows in lock-step.
NotaCPA
This would work in their minds because they believe ALL the women who came forward were fake. nobody in their right mind tries to pull this
SprinklesMckitten
Level 20 scrubs vs level 9999 legal jedi
confanity
The scrub never actually made it to that match-up, though: he got caught in the warm-up round by normal journalists.
mrpotatodick
Ooh, Mueller in the news again, be good to see Deniro on SNL this Saturday
SciNZ
Internet pseudo-conservatives would have nothing if they didn’t have bad faith claims and projections of their own behaviour.
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Chalybos
Indeed.
vondruke
Is this what Trump means by "Fake News"?
confanity
You could say that, but unfortunately what he *actually* means is "Any news Trump doesn't like, especially evidence of his sins."
groovinlow
You left out the part where they date they gave for when the rape occurred was when then-FBI Director Mueller was on Jury Duty.
ChosenChaos
In a different state. And the supposed rape took place on a floor of the hotel that's actually a fitness centre instead of accommodation...
Tesseract09
I feel not much research was done when planning this...
GadenKerensky
I hope Mueller's just looking at his picture going, "You fucknut."
Poodlestrike
Also featured, Robert Mueller being in DC for jury duty on the day they said he was in NY raping a woman.
HsuDoNihm
Yeah but was he *really* at jury duty? It's not like there's any record of that sort of thing.
VigorousButtstuff
Also also featured, the hotel room the assault supposedly took place is on a floor in a hotel where there are no hotel rooms, just a gym.
Confrontation
I'm actually in disbelief over the amount of incompetence he has displayed. No, really, he can't possibly be this stupid.
ignorantveil
He's surely very stupid, but it's also just really hard to maintain a flim flam if people look too closely at it.
TheTruthHurts51
Poor lying, cheating, dispicable republicans. Voter supression and lying about their intentions to destroy every social program ain't enough
alanasaurus
Ironically that would have been the one time trump didn't cry fake news
Gaston0018
Fucking insane to me that right-wing politicians are the ones yelling “It’s a scary time to be a man because any woman can accuse you of 1/
Gaston0018
sexual misconduct and get to fired”, and then it’s the people on the right that try to pull this shit. Truly disgusting.
someboreddude
It's how they think, so they can't imagine other people aren't doing the same things.
Smacketywack
That’s because they’re hypocrites.
5po0ky
Rules for thee but not for me
whatwhonow
You should have included how Wohl constantly tweets about going to "hipster coffee shops" where he hears people whisper GOP talking points.
confanity
What is it with "conservative" conspiracy-mongers these days that they do politics like a mean girl in high school? BS, rumors, and smears?
whatwhonow
Keeping things at a high School level is great when your base never really matured past that on an intellectual level
Iddomehellidevenpay
This, the bomb attempt, the shooting by a RWNJ and the attempted outrage at SJWs over the fake Apu story. Great week for these fools
AFelineMassofEyes
Also the 14th Amendment covfefe.
channelranger
Which is just... fucked. The president doesn't get to fuck with the constitution alone, that's a huuuuuge power overreach.
filthytank
That kid fucked up so bad lmao
neatoburritobandito
Damn!! You know you've fucked up when your own mother unfriends you on Facebook.
TrueNorthernLights
Seriously, what kind of asshole involves their own mother in this shit?
theshinobi23
"A POS only a mother could lo-- oh...nvm. even his mother hates him."
WalkItOutLikeTheFlash
I mean he blatantly threw her under the bus...and then reversed over her again.
Ruhig
I hope they all go to prison. This kind of shit has to stop.
THRAWN18
She actually didn't unfriend him, he blocked the guy who said it. Jacob is just absolute scum though and I am enjoying watching his burn
PeeCat
Relationship status, it's complicated.
ThisFireGrowsHigher
Red state mom here...I get unfriended couple times a year over "anti Trump rhetoric". Then she remembers the grandkid pics are on FB.
TrueNorthernLights
Lol that's awesome.
DavidBrooker
"I'm going to run a disinformation campaign targeting the former director of the United States' national counter-intelligence agency who 1/2
confanity
The funny thing is Mueller only heard about it after the fact; all it took was normal journalists to catch the BS.
Durbs12
"You accuse one of the wealthiest men in Gotham of beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands... and your plan is to blackmail him?"
MannyBothans
ProfessorSnugglesworth
I'd like to know what this kid was supposed to get out of all this. Surely he didn't do it out of loyalty to his Nacho Supreme Leader.
DavidBrooker
is currently investigating one of the largest disinformation campaigns in history." - one of the worst ideas of that kids life
Aristotelm
I mean he was banned for life from trading by the us for fraud at the age of 18
Corrodias
So, maybe second-worst... hard to choose, but I think this one probably takes the cake over that.
Arbitrarynamehere
They were the ones screaming about "setting a precedent" with the Kavanaugh accusers. Look how that turned out for em.
DavidBrooker
'They' being who here?
MannyBothans
GreatOdinsTaint
Fucking flawless comment
Sasarious
Same slimy face.
OuroborosX
Pretty sure this is obstruction of justice. Those guys are going to prison.
Confrontation
At BEST it's obstruction. He could actually be charged with conspiracy here though.
goongaganonga
The women they tried to pay off forwarded all the emails to the FBI. I'm sure dude's mother is going to be thrilled while in interrogation.
newsguycraigevans
Pardoned by trump in 3...2...
margaretolson
You get a pardon! And you get a pardon!
atrielienz
Can't get a presidential pardon for a federal crime. It's actually probably conspiracy with the intent of perverting the course of Justice
confanity
Pretty sure you got it backwards: a president can pardon federal crimes, but not state crimes.
atrielienz
Yep. That's it. Sorry. Exhaustion is a helluva drug.
confanity
No problem; take care!
5po0ky
That sounds like it'll buff right out
Ttarler
It was just horribly bad. No opsec, no subtlety. These hedge fund bros were idiots.
InappropriateAbeLincoln
Where's the two guys from Catfish? Get them on this!
igetaroundroundroundround
I thought that's who did the investigation with how thorough it was.
PhillerTheThriller
This happened because they are STUPID. Any moron who believes Trump has SERIOUS mental issues.
SCP1504
MrDeadsr
Wait, a 20 year old hedge fund manager?
confanity
I'm sure he got there entirely on his own bootstraps and not by any sort of nepotism, ha ha ha.
DeBallZ
Yes. Well, former hedge fund manager. He's banned because of fraud. He comes from rich blood, so that explains it somewhat.
HsuDoNihm
Banned for life, no less. At 20. That takes a special something.
Chalybos
Short bus special
cvnk
Yeah, that confused me as well. Maybe they meant "fantasy football league manager"
KartFnocker
He's actually already banned from finance for securities fraud. Kid worked fast
HsuDoNihm
Banned for life. At 20. Kid is one high-speed fuck-up.
thatstrangenoise
No wonder the right wing politicians are always railing against regulations. They could of retired at 20 otherwise.
ffips
*could have
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Sh4dowWalker96
*you're a dumbass
scnottaken
Retirement would imply there's an "enough" for these people. Their greed knows no bounds
TheGhostofElizabethShue
Unfriended by his mom. I hope that's a new low for him.
confanity
I'm pretty sure the low was when he decided it was a good idea to protect a criminal by making up conspiracies about a cop.
SheckyFeinstein
Not likely.
TheGhostofElizabethShue
Yeah, but have you any idea how bad you've gotta fuck up to get unfriended by your mom? Seriously asking, I've never heard of it happening.
TheGhostofElizabethShue
I'm pretty sure there are serial killers who got at most "I'm very disappointed in you."
TheGriffin
The maternal equivalent of "you fucked up now, bitch!"
FartyMcDumpstein
He used his mom's phone number as the registered number for the company. Dumbass deserved it.
inboxmefoxes
Jacob Wohl is the youngest person ever to receive a lifetime ban from a financial industry. So probably not.
CoeusDarksoul
"They got to mom, they must have put something in her wine bottles!"
kevinallover
"former hedge fund manager" at 20 years old... Nah, this little shit has definitely done worse.
27yoUGLYvirgin
You don't actually think so do you?
TheGhostofElizabethShue
I do not.
SPECTREagent
He was previously “famous” for being the youngest person to be banned for life by the National Futures Association.
ideologist
For what?
SPECTREagent
https://www.nfa.futures.org/basicnet/CaseDocument.aspx?seqnum=4428
ideologist
Derp, let's hide from regulators, that works every time
eion85
Trumpets: not only does this make you look like gullible idiots, but be prepared to have this thrown in your face for the next 6 months.
SpyofBlock
you mean after they win the midterms?
eion85
https://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/2018-midterm-election-forecast/house/ The House is very likley to go Blue & the Senate is very likely >
eion85
< to go Red. https://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/2018-midterm-election-forecast/senate/?ex_cid=midterms-header
hessians4hire
Til their dying breath.
confanity
You mean, thrown in their faces until the next bit of Trump-allied evil/stupidity/corruption. So... ten minutes?
districtfella
Isn’t this against terms of service for Twitter? Or nothing proven yet.? Shouldn’t they be treated like Alex Jones.
KalYahna
Twitter is shit for following their own ToS. Death threats? Not breaking ToS. Swearing in response to death threats? BAN. Etc.
FartyMcDumpstein
If that were the case Trump wouldn't have an account either. They pick and choose based on current public backlash.
Zweihander01
Mueller handled it correctly. He referred the whole thing to the FBI to be investigated, instead of crying and screaming about beer.
Seeker61
But Bart likes beer
nopost
I LIKE BEER!
ChosenChaos
He probably then went and bought his spokesman a beer to apologise for him having to say something other than "no comment". ?
streptovsky
Isn't this like felony level libel/slander?
nopost
I'm no legal expert, but I think that they can be charged with Obstruction of Justice, if not Conspiracy
5po0ky
Pretty sure this is a federal crime lol
Gomizzi
lol 20 yr old hedge fund manager, starter pack includes a patagucci vest, few juul pods and the robinhood app, long bitcoin haha
ChEx38
HODL!1!
TheAlmightyPanda
Another Finmeme proprietor. Hahaha.
Bigcurly2000
I didn't underatand most of this sentence.
Gomizzi
You prob dont work in financial services in midtown
Bigcurly2000
I don't even know what you mean by midtown.
Ringshadow
20 years old and the youngest banned for fraud, lets not forget that.
removekarling
wtf I'm 20 years old, why haven't I become a hedgefund manager and got banned from it yet??
5po0ky
There's always the fake doctor route https://wtop.com/national/2018/01/fake-teen-doctor-pleads-guilty-gets-3-%C2%BD-years-in-prison/
Sareva
What the fuck is this timeline.
Duskala
Hopefully not a John Titor timeline.
5po0ky
Lead in the water, yo
tomatoboy
I think Biff is married to Marty’s mom in this one.
FaithAlone
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2015/oct/23/back-to-the-future-writer-bad-guy-biff-was-based-on-donald-trump
FelixHossill
Republicans start to believe their own lies and actually think that Democrats are inventing sex scandals to smear them. So they tried it.
Bearto
and oh boy did that go well lol
DavidBrooker
Notice how Republicans, who have paid people to protest or cheer in crowds, accuse all left-leaning protesters of being paid by Soros?
someboreddude
They do that all the time. It's pathological.
Rexli78
It’s classic projection
MrSpookywasagoodboy2
Starting to believe their own lies? They've been pulling this kind of shit for decades
Minnakht
Yes, but presumably they used to know it was shit.
MrSpookywasagoodboy2
The ones in power doing it do, the base that buys into it I'm not so sure of
FelixHossill
Good point.
RyanForehand
To be fair both sides having been doing this shit for decades they all suck
heroesblood
"Both sides" is a bullshit argument. The right wing is far, far, far fucking worse than the left.
FantabulousMan
BoTh SiDeS aRe In ThE WrOnG hErE
primarian
Examples?
RyanForehand
Ted Kennedy JFK bill Clinton just to name three
AvgWhiteShark
And what was it those three did? Refresh my memory.
wildpackoffamilydogs
Truth. But one side tends to lean hard on lies to get their way.
thelightwithinallofus
Yeah you’re right. Dems should really stop lying.
thelightwithinallofus
The downvote to upvote ratio is really telling. Imgur is a lefty circle jerk.
FantabulousMan
atualh
Mueller is a republican
channelranger
Yes, but currently trump's most dangerous opposition, which gives them motive.
confanity
He is, as they say, "one of the good ones." Sadly, on the national stage that's the exception these days.
onepinksheep
Not according to Trump's moronic supporters, though. According to them, Mueller is really a Democrat pretending to be a Republican.
confanity
Funny how, since Trump got nominated, even the Republicans are insisting that anybody with a conscience must automatically be a Democrat.
heroesblood
Yes. That doesn't change what FelixHossill said, though.
Corrodias
But he is running an investigation counter to the interests of the Republican part, as it is currently composed. What party affiliation he »
Corrodias
claims to have doesn't have much bearing on that fact or the fact that ending the investigation would benefit said party.