starlitjanuary
62242
1911
71
So tomorrow at 7:30 am. I need this. I was sober from December 2018 to august 2020. I have been relapsing for months now. At first I was getting away with it. My husband had other things to worry about. For the last month he’s known and I’ve ruined our marriage. I know he just wants me to get help and I want to get help but it feels like he just would rather not have to deal with me. Or be married. This place I’m going to is the one place I’ve always heard of and refused to go to. It’s “faith based” which isn’t that bad but all the crazy rules they have, no smoking, no caffeine, no sugary snacks(only allowed popcorn, granola bars and something else similar I can’t remember). I was always like hell no I won’t go! But this time I know it’s what I need. I was doing so good. I had a what I consider a good job, a car, paid my fines, I was on the right track until I completely derailed myself. For the last 2 months I’ve barely got out of my bed unless it was so I could use, could barely make the calls to get me in this place. I’m scared to leave home, I’m scared what will happen to my marriage, I’m nervous to go to this place, I’m excited to get help. This time I won’t hold back and I’ll do whatever it takes. You guys have been so uplifting and have given me so many good laughs (I had to create a new account yesterday). I look forward to coming back!
mktrat
Ondradactyl
Don't think of it as going back. Think of it as the next step of your recovery. Your relapse was necessary to lead you to this treatment.
AmyRumblePie
You are never alone. I’m so glad you reached out. We were never meant to struggle with these things by ourselves. I’m with you in heart.
NDeezie
I did a rehab with no sugar or caffeine and it was hard, but it ended up being best decision I ever made. You can do it. It gets better.
CaptSparkleFingers
My wife is an addict. Please go to rehab. Your husband is hurting.
Shenaniganz80
Stay strong. You got this
starlitjanuary
?
thepromisedLAN
You only fuck up when you stop trying to get it together or stop trying to keep it together. You can do it!
starlitjanuary
So true! Thank you so much!!
IAmLeela
Fight for sobriety! The thought of it can be terrifying, but sobriety is amazing.
bgregory06809
Do this for you, I believe in you.
clicksordicksidontknowanymore
I wish I could upvote this twice.
starlitjanuary
?
BeccaZican
I went to a faith based rehab in the middle of nowhere TN for 6 months. Its shit but great. Dont forget why you're there /
BeccaZican
Hardest thing to do is ask for help and to allow yourself to receive it. You obviously have people that love you and thats quite enviable
willyben722bobbybbaby
One step at a time. New beginnings are the best. That’s some hardcore cold turkey though.
CatatonicCowMoo
Former addict here (or addict in recovery, however you wanna phrase it). If you need to or want to vent or talk, drop me a line. ?
laurenfirefairy
Rehab seems to be a very hard thing. You are worried about your marriage but if you dont go it will end. I know multiple people who have 1)
laurenfirefairy
2) been successful. You slipped for 2 months you can come back. I believe in you random internet person
FeralBurnett
Faith based ... has got a point. Works wonders with 12 steps. Maybe it’s what you wanted all along... ? Best wishes I will pray for you.
ISometimesUnderstandThatReference
You got this.
starlitjanuary
?
dizzle148
There is a movie based on a book called He Wont Get Far On Foot and it helped me think a lot differently about how to interpret faith-based/
dizzle148
/ healing with my very non-faith based beliefs, specifically when it comes to rehab. Ive been sober 4 yrs and it still helped me when I/
dizzle148
/ thought I knew most everything to quit. Anyways, just remember that you gotta quit everyday and we love you and stay safe, you got this!
FunkyMonk8675309
You can do it @Op we all believe in you!!
bstack1994
jpopeart6
Please. Understand that this is not just your failure. 2020 has been horrendous for everybody. A lot of folks have lost focus. Not a fail.
Communik8
tip for the journey ahead: if you're talking, you're not listening and listening to yourself talk got you where you are today.
strideo
Just don't be like Amy Winehouse and say "No no no." when they try to get you to go to rehab.
PrinceOfWhales
No matter what else they tell you, the recovery is 100% your achievement. Don't let them take that from you.
Pieala
Just do it. It may or may not hurt your marriage. You don't know so don't let that stop you. Just take care of yourself.
aprora
We're rooting for you, you got this!
sirhifalutin
One day at a time. Success is every day you stay clean. I believe in you.
OldWineBox
You can do it. It's literally one day at a time. My name used to be just Winebox. I know of what I speak. Love you , you can do it. :)
AnimeSourcerer
I've always been wary of religion based social service institutions, but I hope everything goes well. I'll keep watch for a follow up post.
starlitjanuary
?
starlitjanuary
Honestly me too. I’m not religious at all right now but with how easily I get addicted to things... ?
VagisilToothpaste
Please don't fall for the religious bs and lies. Ylu can do it while being honest and not "surrendering" to something that doesn't exist.
WeeHuaHua
You don’t have to be religious to be successful. Find something bigger than yourself: the universe, a higher consciousness. Good luck!
m15ty1981
It scares me that you were sober for years and fell. I have only been sober a short time, and I still miss it even though I almost died...
m15ty1981
Good luck. My fiancé doesn’t like me sober-I’m not as fun. He tells me he’s “torn” about me not drinking despite me seizing in front of him.
neeks64
Sounds like you need to leave your fiance where you left alcohol... in the past.
DoctorCatDog
Anybody who doesn’t want you to be the best, healthiest version of you isn’t the kind of person you need in your life. Be good to yourself.
trogadore
I took the needle out nearly a year ago today, and unfortunately it was through one of these faith based places. It was incredibly hard to..
trogadore
Just accept that what they were saying was gonna help me, but by taking the hit and just tolerating the jesus shit for a bit, I did myself
trogadore
a huge favour. There's plenty of time now for me to be atheistic and science based. That's the end result, and the part that's worth the
trogadore
whole slog. You get time. Time to build/rebuild meaningful relationships. Time to read a new book. Just, time.
Rac00nIz
Quit heroin before. Anything is possible, also dealt with alot of relapses ! Eventually I found Marijuana worked best for my life..
Rac00nIz
(Not saying thats for everyone) but I take one month off during Ramadan, and then another month when I least want to. And feel I need to..
Rac00nIz
I'll also routinely do one week off a month. I've found this works for me I know to stay away from alcohol and other triggers. Good luck op!
Rac00nIz
Anything is possible, you just need to replace, and build a new routine. You can do it again.
starlitjanuary
My DOC is heroin as well. Thank you so much for your words ?
Rac00nIz
Dude its possible it took years. Ull never forget it but u can move on. Aa/na eventually on your own whatever works for u. Its possible tho