jordanbakernfl3
14621
292
8
https://youtu.be/-vJh_FllMNY?is=TTMtkM6Gk6DB5W3l
Jun 30, 2026 1:56 AM
jordanbakernfl3
14621
292
8
https://youtu.be/-vJh_FllMNY?is=TTMtkM6Gk6DB5W3l
nvrsurius
I don’t even bother calling anymore
MrStreetcorn
I have to choose my lore carefully and reveal facts as needed, like a DnD dungeon master
nclu
Sorting through the various backstory scrolls “we save this one for the eventual couples therapy quest”
JonatasAM
The plot must have a nice pace and be engaging.
Cowmayihelpu
freezingpilot
I put on my robe and wizard hat...
JonatasAM
Hung up? You don't have to start over when you're transferred? Wait? You've managed to reach a human!?
Caughtintheconcentricelipsesofchaosanditsinnatemadness
"Dial 9 for fake empathy."
krstd
You haven't been dating if that is the hardest part...
Gremlynn4023
this hit like a goddamn explosive tipped crossbow bolt through the dick.
YpsilantiRomani
I just send them my personal resume before the date
MechKelly
The more you tell your story, the easier it gets.
LockedAndKnotted
You guys have a story?
eadanke
The only life story I remember is the intro to Fresh Prince of Bel-air, so I use that.
JonatasAM
People are willing to listen ti yours?
freezingpilot
I just ask "Are you crazy?" Sometimes I get asked why I am asking. Response: "I've been burnt before. Literally."
Nalianna
Yeah, I'm the mayor of a small town, and this huge fuckign shark is killing and eating people nearby.
VagrantKoba
That's hilarious to me because the previous post was about Jaws.
Nalianna
Yes, they were reporting on my situation. Dating is a whole bunch easier, when i can just refer them to the movie, instead of reciting it every time.
sfrinlan
Have you considered getting a bigger boat?
DenseBot
You guys have?
Psionickitten
You guys?
DenseBot
You?
RevolutionOnHerLips
?
Eldibs
Okay, but I like telling my stories. If she doesn't like them, and/or doesn't want to be involved with creating new stories, I don't want to be with her for longer than a one night stand.
ScottPaul57
Some people have so much baggage they have to unload in episodic installments...
Gremlynn4023
yeah we're called old people!
JonatasAM
My favorite are the people on syndication. Every time they start telling the same episode again. It's like they run out of budget to show another season and don't know the episodes have an order.
Caughtintheconcentricelipsesofchaosanditsinnatemadness
"Why don't you get kidnapped and have some new shit happen!" - Chris Rock
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
I once met a cute boy, we talked a lot, like three hours, and then I noticed he talked for 5 minutes and I talked for the rest of the time. Definitely look inside you and start with brief important stuff.
IHaveGreatKittenRecipes
On this week's episode of 'holy fuck, you survived that?!?'...
Raised in a cult, more broken bones than most SEALs ever get, partly psycho, and apparently braver than I am smart cause I've tried a loooot of dumb shit, I am a generation-long series in the style of South Park or The Simpsons. Dating me is like joining a new D&D group.
animatronicChristmasChickens
It's so the potential partner can build up immunity, like with iocaine powder
JonatasAM
What powder now?
animatronicChristmasChickens
https://princessbride.fandom.com/wiki/Iocaine_powder
Alistairetheblu
What tech support are you calling that doesn't have case notes/ticket systems these days?
TheDoctorCrankenstein
Last I checked going to a different company for tech support because the last one didn't work out doesn't transfer the previous company's case notes.
Caughtintheconcentricelipsesofchaosanditsinnatemadness
The fucken dumbass AI ones that never let you talk to a real person.
quade
Sounds like you're really stressing out the level 1 tech support people with your anger issues that they keep hanging up...
Nalianna
'accidentally'
DavedandConfused
Went on a coffee date recently. It felt like I shared so much I might as well have been talking to a therapist. I was so embarrassed and realized I wasn’t ready to date again yet.
Arcygenical
... Unless you genuinely enjoy meeting new people...
TheDoctorCrankenstein
Weird.
JonatasAM
I enjoy meeting people I'll never meet again.
quade
which is kind of what dating is for, right?
JonatasAM
Not to avoid being pestered by people on why you're single?
Gremlynn4023
i can pick any random bar on almost any day of the week, belly up to the rail, and find new people to meet and chat with. dating is for more deeply getting to know one person, typically with the specific goal in mind that they become one of your more important persons.
LeoFloof
I genuinely hate dating. My therapist even had to sit me down like, “listen. I don’t think you need to learn to like something you genuinely dislike, and that’s okay.”
I’m trying to learn to use it as a helpful tool to achieve a thing I want (companionship), but if dating is for when you want to meet people then I’m screwed. Because I don’t want to meet people or date, it’s just the only means to an important end for me.
brattysubsam
What do you hate about dating?
LeoFloof
Generally everything? I don’t tend to enjoy “getting to know you” conversation, so I tend to make most of my friends via work where that kind of stuff is more gradually sprinkled in, and I can get a feel for someone’s character and personality before starting to get to know them. I’m pretty introverted, and I prefer a very small number of close friends to having a large social circle. Going on dates with people I don’t know to determine if I’d like to know them is both exhausting, and not
1/?
LeoFloof
…not an enjoyable use of my time.
I’m also not attracted to people easily, which is frustrating. From a numbers perspective, I have to go on a lot of dates with strangers to potentially be attracted to one or two people.
I’m at an age (38) where I’ve exhausted my social circle, my friends’ circles, my work, and my coworkers’ circles (very few single people. I’m either not attracted to them or mostly they’re single for a reason), so it’s online dating. I understand and appreciate
(2/?)
wobblecopterrrr
i mean.. you don't though, you can pick and choose what to tell people, as long as you aren't lying, it's totally fine not re read out your life like a novel.
SpectrumRabbit
I dated a girl who just listed off facts about her and her life. I wanted to stop her and say “This is not an interview.” Nice person, just noted to myself not to do that.
FestusMA
Or you can outsource it and have a background check run on yourself. Just hand them a Manila envelope across the dinner table and say “it’s all in there. Read it here. I’ll be at the bar when you are done.“