fulcrims
129101
5192
110
Dec 10, 2019 12:27 AM
fulcrims
129101
5192
110
GinjaNinjaBro
Ah yes, the real meaning of these holidays
darthstormer
On Moishe! On Herschel! On Schlomo! It's Hanukkah Harry, eight nights a year!
type1eagle
Half Jewish just depends if any of the 8 nights falls on the 25. Hanukkah on thanksgiving was fun a few years ago.
aravena
Where's the Chinese food?
Babuiski
That's for Christmas Day
floridajew
Not realistic as we bitch about seeing Santa everywhere
AMutatedWorm
Free presents! Oi vey come on in Santa
saund10295
chopped livah ... mmm
Yupurineutah
All of a sudden?
avastmehearty
This year my mixed heritage and parentage family is celebrating Hanukkah on Dec 25 :-)
niauropsaka
Chrismukkah?
avastmehearty
Pretty much... step kids are Jewish from their late father, my wife and my kids grew up sort of Christian but not very serious about it
avastmehearty
(we don't have kids together, we both were widowed with adult children)
Gianttesticlemonster
Goshitsnicehere
Must have forgot his bike...
Alavar
Austin 3:16
DrTobiasKingofFunke
Mom and Dad are Catholic, Stepfather is Jewish. Got the two Christmases and the eight crazy night combo growing up. All the best food
TheUnsung
And that's how the Jews stole Christmas!
SousChefJordy
God damn
Duros62
Who wants brisket?
thegelatoking
Is brisket a predominant food for Jewish folks?
jdavis1186
On Christmas? Chinese food
stephanieyes173
Boy I was hoping someone said this
sahdad
smoked?
Duros62
Fuck yeah.
RTK4740
Why isn’t he coming down the chimney? I mean, they HAVE one.
wolfeskitchen
He didn't come through the chimney?
Munchman347
No, that's just some snow melt...
jesusisherelookbusy
Thesaulsurvivor
I read this in avi's voice. God Dan's dad is a treasure
chilidragon
Brought to you by Maxwell House
Onlyhereforthelaughs
Anybody else spell it as Tuckus?
SeamusMCMXCVI
Oy vey santa
buttcrackula
I thought it was spelled ‘tukus’.
Dryheat
It's a gutteral "chhh" sound rather than a "k".
RedLanternGrodd
Females don't wear the hat?
ImAFoxButNotReally
They used to wear wigs which was considered enough then little by little tradition was lost.
sjphilyvt
The hat
SandwichRGood
It's more of a drink pad you clip to your head.
Sauroctonus
What you're bald?
Dryheat
Nope
thomacocks
some (mostly orthodox) women choose to cover their head with a scarf, esp after marriage. Only men wear the yarmulke
HelplessRomantic
Some other women shave and wear a wig. Source: I see them almost every day :)
RedLanternGrodd
Cool. I did not know that. Thanks
retrohellix
"Oh, jew!" -Santa, probably.
BanananaNotToScale
Brisket is way better than milk and cookies.
Supauch
I'm convinced they are going to murder Santa
AngryTeacher
I had a theory for a while that santa was anti-Semitic because why else does he skip all us Jewish kids houses.
niauropsaka
Hanukkah Harry has that franchise. ;)
WhereDoesThePoopGo
My theory was that Santa was Jewish which is why he could work on Christmas. back then I thought you were either Christian or Jewish.
etymologia
I think the menorah has the wrong number of candles?
alohaoy
The ninth one is used for lighting the rest.
superplane39
It's a chanukiah, which is supposed to have eight level candles and one other at a different height. 1/2
superplane39
A menorah refers to a structure in the Temple, which had six candles plus one. The chanukiah is based on the menorah but they're different.
etymologia
Thanks for clarifying!
chiefrunswithscissors
Plot twist, they want him to come in so they can kill him like they did to Jesus.
chiefrunswithscissors
That was a joke guys
myUsernameWasAlreadyTakenAndIHaveAcceptedMyFate
I liked it, but jew hate can be a touchy subject, considering it's a real thing
chiefrunswithscissors
One minute you're making jokes and the next minute your buddy with a crap mustache is firing up the oven
SandwichRGood
Not a very good one.
PeeBalls420
If the jews laid down their weapons they would be trampled, if the muslims laid down their weapons there would be instant peace.
zooumberg8
At least we know that Santa isn't a Labour voter.
Dryheat
And how is that connected to a cartoon about Jews and Santa??
Enternety
There’s a difference between defending yourself and oppressing/taking land of a specific ethnic group. I say this as a non Zionist Jew.
muts747
I say this as a Zionist, Israeli Jew
PeeBalls420
You should be allowed to defend your homeland without people bitching all day. Yall literally needed an anti bomb wall.
SoftcoreFavorites
The mother doesn't look disappointed her kids aren't all Doctors yet. Unrealistic. Source: Jewish.
ComcastLover
They might be lawyers.
metally
Overheard the other day "We're going to rip through this like a Jewish mother through self esteem!"
SoftcoreFavorites
Accurate.
confirmsthings
The kid isn't a doctor yet. Unrealistic. Source: Jewish mother
MastahPetah
Funny, the only person I know who's Jewish and takes it seriously is this one doctor at work lol
odesit85
Maybe, but the kids are definitely feeling it
barbarian818
she's putting on her company face.
PlbMak
You got an 'oligy!
GroovyFBI
Source: Josephus
JohnCheshirsky
Maybe they're all already lawyers, so she's fine
TheGhostofLionelHutz
*nods. Source: jewish lawyer whose brother and sister are also jewish lawyers.
iamatopsecretagent
User name checks out
TheresnoDanaonlyZuul
Or actors
Jess1988NY
and the Menorah is wrong, the 8 branches are supposed to be even with only the 9th Higher than the rest
astrangehop
I've seen a great many "creative" channukiots. As long as there's one top candle the rest is ignorable.
Jess1988NY
according to the ritualistic rules: the Menorah must be 8 branches of equal height, a Shamos that is higher, and light an extra each night
astrangehop
Neat. I'm seeing a bunch of random rules (like different height candles on an even slant are fine) do you have a good concise source on it?
Jess1988NY
The Talmud Tractate Shabbat (21b-24a), Shulchan Aruch: Seder Ohr Hahaim, Mishnah Berura: Chapters 671-680, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch chapter 139
Jess1988NY
they may be creative, but they are not proper Chanukah Menorah's, and "Chanukia" is a 120 year old made up term, use the proper name
jennym123
Maybe you'd get there too if you stopped posting on Imgur and started working on your degree, Mordecai!
bkkhk
FerdinandDaBull
She's not a full Jew. She's only Jew-ish
SmellyLumpus
There is a guest in her home, so her demeanor is drastically different. Source: also Jewish
Mrplebscrubs
Can confirm. Will be shamed when geusts leave because we arent like so and so's offspring. Source: also also jewish
SoftcoreFavorites
I felt that.
MildlyConcernedTV
Shit that works for any southern mom too. Source: Arkansas born, sadly
idiosamatik
It’s different though. Shes not mad you’re not a Dr. She’s mad you forget the Dr Pepper. What is everyone gonna drink at the wedding?
MildlyConcernedTV
Bud lite
idiosamatik
True.
EmeraldLight
Question! Why are two males wearing a black hat, and one is wearing a white one?
o4kill
If you're asking the significance of the colors, idk. In general, because males keep their heads covered in Judaism.
Enternety
Diff types of Judaism wear different things depending on how orthodox they are. These are yarmulkes (yah-muh-kuh) and color doesn’t matter
EmeraldLight
Thank you! I was very curious.
Twyll
You can also get 'em in cute patterns! I knew a guy in college (music degree) who had one with a piano keyboard pattern for concerts.
astrangehop
Often too the loaners for guests + kids will be more colorful, while the ones for adolescents and adults will be more "daily driver" tones.
ElizaMDancer
Thank you